A Letter To Xul

Dear Y

As you know, I have been our planet’s emissary to the backward life forms on this place that is called, Earth(of course in the Xulian language it is known as the “Mysterious Land.” I have now spent over 83 Earth years(22 Xulian years) on this planet which only knows the virtues of war, hate, and violence. I recently received a communication from the Council Of Love which indicates my stay on this planet will shortly come to an end, and I will return home. Let me share with you some characteristics of these life forms.

1. They have an incredible fascination with weapons of destruction. Of course, it has been over ten thousand years since anyone on Xul has ever been in contact with a weapon of anger, as we term them. Here, they revel in firing such weapons -UPON ONE ANOTHER!

2. These “humans” are the most adept life forms on this planet in the act of destroying other life forms. Ironically, they term life forms such as lions or wolves or panthers as “dangerous” even while they slaughter them by the thousands!

3. On this planet it is forbidden to approach a stranger and offer them a kiss, such acts of love are met with angry looks.

4. Humans engage in incredible violence against one another in what they term, “wars.” The other day a group of humans displayed to the entire world destroying a life form!

5. On Earth, a small number of humans hoard incredible amounts of goods while other humans do without enough to survive. They term this concept: CAPITALISM. In other words, unlike our world in which all share equally in goods and services, here on Earth, most lack while a few control over 40% of all goods. If anyone opposes this nonsensical idea, they are termed, as violent creatures seeking to take from those who have.

6. OH, they even have a concept they term, GOD. Supposedly, there is some life form up in the sky who lives forever and controls and directs all planets in the Universe!

Anyway, I so look forward to leaving this mysterious planet and get back to civilization!

Your friend, as always, S.