Monthly Archives: June 2009

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT,

We offer the views of a 78 year old man about the state of humanity.

There is a minister who encourages his flock to come to church with guns. I never knew Jesus Christ was a member of the NRA.

A requirement for getting into Hell is spending a summer in St. Louis.

There is always a hesitancy after handing over a large bill and receiving the change– did I just give a ten or twenty?

You can always spot a Depression era person in the library. They are the ones who will not go near a book self check out machine.

If someone wears a blue shirt with jeans I assume they work in a garage.

I gather Republicans are banding together to support Governor Sanford. He was careful not to damage the virginity of an American girl like you-know-who.

I hate people who spend a half hour explaining their problem to a clerk.

The Republican Party shot an arrow into the air. It fell to earth in low taxes square.

There is a mother’s day, a father’s day, but no uncle or aunt day. How come?

I see more white haired children these days with their elderly parents.

The IRS staff is among the most courteous in any Federal agency.

How come no one these days cites any specific program of Ronald Reagan the nation should follow?

I will defend to death the right of Rush Limbaugh to spout his ignorance.

I have a hunch John McCain will be talking more frequently about the torture of Iranian reformers than he will about American torture of prisoners.

If a gay is elected president of the United States does he get a salute from the armed forces?

FLASH! Abe Lincoln-Teddy Roosevelt Resign From GOP!

At a hastily called press conference by the Angel Gabriel, two former Republican stalwarts announced to the shocked members of the media they were resigning from the Republican Party. Mr. Abraham Lincoln said he was shocked at the failure of current day Republicans to stand for moral principles and termed their current leaders as devoid in any ideas other than reducing taxes and giving special breaks to the wealthy. “What has become of the Republican Party which once led the nation in the fight to ensure all men were created equal. As I listen to Ron Paul or George Bush or this creature of the night, Rush Limbaugh, there only concern is what benefits the wealthy members of our society. I am amazed that a Republican can sanction torture and abuse of prisoners! We fought a war in which 500,000 died, not 3,000, but never once did any military leader come to me urging torture. Shocking!”

Former President Theodore Roosevelt expressed anger that his party has become the ally of the wealthy. “I broke up the trusts. I intervened to ensure coal miners got their rights. I made certain the malefactors of wealth understood the American government was not their servant. My goal was to have a strong federal government that regulated business to ensure there was an even playing field for all who sought to employ their talents in the quest to develop our economy.”

Mr. Roosevelt was quite upset at the lack of rallying around the president in a time of crisis. “Our nation’s economy is in serious crisis and not a single Republican member of Congress will work with their Democratic colleagues!! Where is the spirit of patriotism?” He announced his support for the Obama program of peace in the Middle East and acting carefully to avoid creating problems in Iran. “In the early 1900s, when the San Francisco School Board announced they were segregating Japanese children, I summoned that damn fool mayor and told him bluntly the United States wanted to have peaceful relations with Japan. After expressions of Japanese anger, I calmed things down. Yes, Mr. Obama is correct. Only employ a nation’s power as the last, not the first, resort.”

The Angel Gabriel will allow current Republican leaders in respond to these comments.

Iranian Reformers Being Tortured To Confess Plot

There are unconfirmed reports the Iranian government has offered consultancy positions to former Vice President Cheney,former Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld, and members of the Bush administration who served in the Justice Department and developed a legal rationale for torture. It is apparent that many Iranian reformers who have been arrested are being subject to torture in order to elicit “confessions” which would be aired on TV in order to prove that demonstrations were organized by British and American agents. We assume George Bush would defend the use of torture by a government in the name of “national security.” Of course, in this case, “national security” is being used by thugs and murderers to justify their authoritarian regime.

Several people who were in prison report they heard screams coming from rooms where men like Motafa Tajzadeh and others were being “interrogated.” Perhaps, if the Iranians persuaded American specialists in torture they could get “confessions.”

We wonder if President Obama still believes it is important in the name of “national security” to protect those who torture and not reveal pictures or documents. It is quite evident Rush Limbaugh and Bill Bennett and Lou Dobbs and Bill O’Reilly are on TV decrying the use of torture by the Iranian government.

What Price Is Red Tape In Our Lives?

At the birth of the computer age we were promised technology would eliminate the need for paper in our lives since everything could be done on the computer. The Australian Productivity Commission decried the growing red tape which has overwhelmed many professionals and compelled doctors and education institutions to spend enormous resources filling out forms rather than engaged in their mission of educating children. The Commission cited, “excessive duplicate reporting requirements” and “overly prescriptive regulations” which result in people filling out the same information that was provided a different agency.

The Commission believes doctors currently devote about nine hours a week filling out forms and reports and that schools have been forced to spend more money hiring non-teaching personnel to deal with red tape requirements. I recently once again had to fill out a form to teach at a college that I have now filled out at least five times. Isn’t it possible to have a centralized form for teaching at colleges? All colleges ask the same questions.

So, what about the computer ending paperwork???

Israel Blasts UN Report On Gaza

Israel’s ambassador to the United Nations blasted a report by UN Humanitarian Affairs chief, John Holmes which sharply criticized actions in Gaza that resulted in the death of hundreds of Gaaza civilians. Gabriela Shaley charged the report was biased and ignored the fact thousands of rockets had been fired into Israel from Gaza. “The report completely ignores the context in which Israel’s defensive actions were taken.” A defensive tone increasingly characterizes Israel’s respond to any critical comments directed toward its government. The Netanyahu government has still to grasp that George Bush no longer is in charge of American foreign policy and there is no one in the American government who automatically supports any action on the part of Israel.

A defensive tone will only go so far. The Obama administration is taking a proactive stance toward the Palestinian-Israel conflict. It waits in vain for a proactive stance from Netanyahu who believes whatever Israel has done in the past can not be changed. The American Congress which has completely supported Israel for decades is now asking questions and demanding changes not cosmetic smoothing over of West Bank policy. The world awaits a proactive Israel statement on foreign policy which outlines concrete steps to curtail West Bank building and lift the embargo in Gaza which only serves to strengthen Hamas, not damage its power.

It is time for Israel to look forward and cease returning to the past to justify every violation of human rights.

Can Government Force Medical Treatment On Children?

During the past few weeks there have been several cases involving children who were ordered by government officials to take specific medical treatment in order to save their lives. The Canadian Supreme Court ruled on Friday that Manitoba social workers had the legal right to force a Jehovah Witness teenage girl to get a blood transfusion even though she argued in doing so it was equivalent to being raped. It is already clear babies and young children can be compelled to have medical treatment, but this was the first case involving a “mature minor.” The girl is fifteen and within a few months of becoming sixteen when legally she could make her own medical decisions.

The girl has been educated to believe in her religion that certain medical treatments violate God’s laws. The Court ruled that authorities could take the views of mature minors into account, but not allow these views to be paramount in making a medical decision. If it is a life threatening situation the Court decided government could intervene.

Three psychiatrists decided “A.C.” knew the consequences of her decision to reject a blood transfusion. However, has A.C. really been provided an education that enables her to make an informed decision?

Republican Party And Ahmadinejad-Partners In Stupidity

The Republican Party has been attacking President Obama for failure to speak out against the crackdown in Iran. Obama has been attempting to prevent the Iranian government from using his words in being critical of demonstrators. After Obama finally made some comments, President Ahmadinejad swung into the attack by claiming his words were similar to those of George Bush. Only the Iranian people can fight for their freedom since outside nations simply have no leverage on the Iranian government and their words fall on deaf ears. Opposition leader Mir Hossein Mousavi continued to blame Ahmadinejad for rigging the election. Grand Ayatollah Hossein Ali Montazeri, an opponent of Khamenei spoke bluntly: “if iranians cannot talk about their legitimate rights at peaceful gatherings and are instead suppressed, complexities will build up which could possible uproot the foundations of the government, no matter how powerful.”

The confusion of the Iranian government is best exemplified by its throwing the family of Neda Soltan from their apartment, refusing to allow a funeral and burying the young girl whose death was shown all over the world. The Iranian government is now claiming her death was staged by British television and that she really was a member of the Basij militia. If she was a member of the Basij militia, then why isn’t her family being allowed to bury her?

How does one explain to McCain, Rush, Ann and other ignorant leaders of the Republican party that the United States must remain out of this conflict?

GOOD JOBS FOR PEOPLE IN SEARCH OF GOOD JOBS

Following are jobs that would be wonderful for certain people.

South African President Jacob Zuma: Shower attendant in house of prostitution.

Tony Blair: Pope Tony I.

Miley Cyrus: Star in silent films.

Don Rumsfeld: Stand up comic.

Judge Judy: Mediator of Middle East Conflict. Choose anyone.

Bagel Shop Owner: Auto worker making wheels.

Prime Minister Putin: Mafia boss in USA.

President Hugo Chavez: Director of the Benito Mussolini Museum.

Gordon Brown: Head of company that sends people back in time at least three years.

Nicolas Sarkozy: President of the entire French nation.

Pay Up Or Go To Hell In Russia!

The recession in Russia has resulted in large numbers of people who are unable to repay loans or other debts. As a result, the Federal Court Marshals Service is faced with an ever increasing load of back cases. In desperation, the Russian government has turned to the Moscow Patriarchate for assistance. The Marshals and the Church have assigned priests to offer sermons in their churches which denounce failure to repay debts as a sin. “Priests will say that unpaid debt is the same as theft in Christianity. The Marshal Service is reported in discussions with Muslim religious leaders to get the good word worked into sermons from imams. Buddhists who teach reincarnation teach failure to pay off debts means one carries them into the next alternative life. I am not exactly clear how becoming a dog enables one to pay off past debts. Perhaps, one can pay off in dog biscuits.

The entire episode is ridiculous and violates the very foundation of Christianity. Does anyone actually believe Jesus Christ would stand at the door of the pearly gates of heaven checking bank accounts and debts?

P.S. Just wondering, but how come no discussion with rabbis to slip in a few good words about paying off debts?

COMMENTS YOU NEVER WILL HEAR SPOKEN

Following are comments thought but never spoken.

Joe Biden: “Great, I got through the month without shooting off my mouth.

George Tiller: Yes, I’m dead. Isn’t it ironic that those who believe in the sanctity of life murder in the name of God and life?

Bill Clinton: I bet within a year Barack Obama is going to wish he had a sex scandal to divert attention of the Republican right.

Prime Minister Netanyahu: Yes, I do have a peace plan. Israel will take the major piece of the West Bank and Palestine can have the crumbs.

King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia: The clerics say movies are immoral. Gee, sometimes I wish I was king of Israel, then I could watch movies, eat popcorn and have a whiskey.

Tiger Woods: Tigers have a difficult time hitting little balls in the rain.

Ron Paul: First, that war monger Abraham Lincoln started the Civil War, now that war monger Barack Obama wants to get into the Afghanistan civil war.

Wolf Blitzer: How can CNN find those nutty people they always interview on Fox News?

NRA President: Are you saying I don’t have a 2nd Amendment Right to bring my assault rifle into a bank? What if it is robbed?

American Catholic: Pope Benedict XVI would be the perfect pope for the sixteenth century. Too bad, we are in the 21st century.