Monthly Archives: July 2009

Israel Confronts Its Own Mistakes

The Israel government has decided to confront issues related to misbehavior on the part of members of the Israel Defense Force(IDF) during the recent invasion of Gaza. An army source angrily commented: “we do not need NGOs and rights groups to tell us to investigate ourselves. we know how to investigate on our own and have been open all along to receiving additional material from peace groups.” There is no doubt historically the IDF has been sensitive to violations of law by its members and willing to admit errors. The current investigation into fourteen cases of alleged abuses can only benefit Israel. There are allegations IDF soldiers looted Palestinian homes, beat prisoners and used Palestinians as human shields to avoid getting shot.

The good news is a decision by Israel’s military leaders that in the future civilians will be warned about possible bombings and even provide information to them on the best way to get to safety. An open trial with information publicly shared is the best defense against accusations of human rights violations.

Crazy Season In Full Swing In Zimbabwe!

The government of Head Thug, Robert Mugabe, never ceases to amaze in its ability to conceive of new ways of justifying the arrest of innocent men and women. Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai is attempting to focus on restoring the economy of Zimbabwe which was destroyed under the incompetent leadership of Mugabe. During the past few months several members of Tsvangirai’s Movement for Democratic Change(MDC) have been arrested on one silly charge after another. Thamsanqa Mahlangu, a deputy minister and a leader in the MDC was charged with theft by the corrupt Zimbabwe police. He is charged with attending a meeting dealing with the topic of a “National Shared Vision” with a Mugabe friend, Joseph Chinotimba, when the MDC leader got the bright idea to steal the cell phone of the man sitting next to him.

Perhaps, the African Union can award a prize to Mugabe for his ability to concoct the most fascinating ideas on justifying arresting those who disagree with your corrupt rule. Of course, in Mugabeland, the only people allowed to steal are his followers.

COMMENTS YOU NEVER WILL HEAR SPOKEN

Following are comments thought but never spoken by these individuals.

Sarah Palin: I intend to stand up for America by making gobs of money. Since I eat at fast food places I will be giving a stimulus for jobs for decent honest hard working Americans.

Joe Biden: Let’s see, which stupid remark can I make today without getting the boss man upset? I know, how about Paraguay!

Alex Rodriguez: I’m hitting 250 and making $25 million. I wonder what they will give me if I hit 300?

Senator McConnell: I’m against people who aren’t born in America and all them illegal immigrants. I’m a modern Republican not one of those Theodore Roosevelt communists!

Osama bin Laden: The mountains of Pakistan are not exactly my conception of the good life. Hmm, I wonder if it is really true about those virgins in Heaven?

Lou Dobbs: I stood up for police, I stood up for getting rid of illegal immigrants, and damn it, I intend to stand up for birth certificates for all Americans who want a job!

Miley Cyrus: How about calling myself Idaho Iris?

Michael Jackson: Weird, they have lots of dark skinned people in Heaven,

John McCain: When Sarah Palin’s memoirs come out I think I’ll opt for a few months at the Hanoi Hilton.

British Tourists Arrested In Brazil Because Not Law Grads

Two British tourists have been arrested in Brazil for making false charges of being robbed in a city where robbery is highly unusual. This case suggests either (a) UK law schools graduate incompetent lawyers or (b) Brazilian police don’t make sense. According to the police, Shanti Andrews and Rebecca Turner who both recently graduated from law school decided to pull a scam by claiming they were robbed in order to collect insurance. The two bright ladies walked into a Brazilian police station to file a report and, according to the police, left the items they claimed were stolen lying around in their hotel room. Could be, but if so it suggests the two young ladies need a refresher course on how to scam police.

The two young ladies are being held in a notorious Brazilian jail where vicious criminals are lodged, no doubt, due to the gravity of claiming they lost some panties or dresses or what. Police say they can not place the two ladies in a less violent jail because no one has provided proof these women actually graduated from a law school. I am not that bright, I only have a Ph.D, but what does the fact one did or did not graduate from a law school have to do with the ladies being locked up in with murderers and thieves?

Ahmadinejad Warned To Respect The Law

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has been confronted by reformers demanding respect for their votes and their right to freedom of speech and assembly. Now, hard line conservatives are furious at the president for his brutal actions in dealing with protestors as well as his defiance of Ayatollah Khamenei. The Islamic Society of Engineers, a political group close to parliament speaker, Ali Larijani, warned in an open letter to Ahmaindejad that he must be sensitive to the views of others. “It seems you want to be the sole speaker and do not want to hear other voices.” Larijani has been furious at Ahmadinejad’s brutality and beatings of those who protested his disputed victory. Conservatives do not approve the use of force, torture of prisoners and killing of the innocent.

Ahmadinejad has yet to understand every time he prevents peaceful demonstrations all he does is fuel the desire to throw him out of office. He clashed with Ayatollah Khamenei when he appointed a family member who is disliked by most conservative Iranians. An unknown factor is whether Ahmadinejad would draw upon his followers in the armed forces to hold onto power and in so doing create chaos in Iran.

Horror Of Honor Killing!

Once again the world has to read about an example of a father or mother or brother or uncle or cousin who decides a female in their Muslim family did something inappropriate which means they must be killed. Jawdat Naijar discovered his 27 year-old daughter owned a cell phone which led him to the logical conclusion she was up to no good. He suspected she committed the heinous crime of using the phone to talk to a man–a man, that is, who was not a member of the family. Mr. Naijar proudly turned himself in to the police and they soon found the battered body of his daughter, her head and face were bloodied and her entire body was covered with bruises. It appears dad beat her with an iron chain and punched his own daughter for about forty minutes–all in the name of “family honor.”

The usual “punishment” for honor killings in Gaza ranges from about six months to three years in prison. Unfortunately, the daughter is dead because she had the unfortunate honor of being born into a family of thugs and killers.

P.S. How come no men are beaten with chains and killed because they had sex with single women?

HEADLINES FROM THE WORLD PRESS

Each day we offer a sample of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

Netherlands, Radio Netherlands: “Soldiers March In Gay Parade”
This is a very happy story.

Turkey, Hurriyet: “Liverpool Out To End Long Wait”
The coal ship finally arrived!

Saudi Arabia, Saudi Gazette: “Five Sisters Attack Housemaid”
Initial reports indicate Cinderella was not seriously injured.

Denmark, Copenhagen Post: “Woman Lives Two Months With Dead Husband”
She told police he was the quiet type so she wasn’t disturbed by his silence.

Sweden, The Local: “Booze Thieves”
Ah, the Irish lads are back in town, begorra!

Australia, Sydney Morning Herald: “Best Man Raped By Stripper”
Now, you know what he was best at.

South Africa, Argus: “Politicians Should Live Like Us”
No, we should live like politicians!

Canada, Toronto Star: “Murder Suspect Fled The Scene In Toyota”
I assume this is a new ad campaign by Toyota.

UK, The Independent: “Ministry Of Silly Walks”
It is headed by former governor Sarah Palin.

Where Have All The Madoffs Gone?

There is nothing new to learn from the mouth of Bernard Madoff except his “surprise” at not being caught years before for a Ponzi scheme that went on for decades. The one-time street hustler who worked the boardrooms and country clubs of the wealthy told his lawyer the most amazing aspect of his career is how long it went on and on and on. On occasion, like being brought before the SEC Mr. Madoff “thought they got me” but as always when the rich and powerful are concerned, being caught with your hand in the till will be excused away as the act of a man with a disease that forces his hand to wind up in strange places. Now, if a poor man tried placing his money in the cookie jar, the only solution is cutting off his arm and sending him to prison.

The issue no longer is about Bernard Madoff. The central issue is how many other Bernie Madoffs at this very moment are hustling their way through the money of those with money? The issue is when does government establish regulatory agencies that will regulate rather than look the other way? Bernie, have a good one. I’m certain God will watch his wallet when you come before him, after all, how else could the Old Man behave towards someone who ripped off Holocaust victims?

First Iraq War Veteran Congressman Speaks For Gays

Discussions concerning the rights of gays and lesbians frequently lead to comments by those defending the current “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy that to allow those with weird ideas about sexuality into the armed forces would result in a dramatic drop in morale as well as discourage those who want to enlist. Of course, I suspect millions of people at this moment who are working in hundreds of work locations have absolutely no idea if the person next to them is gay or lesbian. Congressman Patrick Murphy is the first veteran of the Iraq war who has been elected to Congress and he is among the leading advocates of ending current policy which discriminates against gays and lesbians. He regards as insulting to those who serve the notion they would refuse to accept gays and lesbians as comrades in arms.

It would be interesting if the Joint Chiefs of Staff actually asked men and women in the field of combat how they feel regarding the issue of gays and lesbians as fellow soldiers. Of course, in hundreds of cases gays and lesbians are fighting alongside their friends and no one gives a damn. Ah, for the righteous folk in America who want to maintain sexual purity. You know, someone like Sarah Palin who is furious that teenagers have children.

Nigerian “Taliban” Style Militants Create Chaos

Most Muslims are not connected to terrorist groups, but, as in all religions, there are militants who preach violence in the name of God. Nigeria has been wracked for days by violence initiated on the part of Nigerian style Taliban who seek to impose a strict form of Sharia law in every part of the nation. Initial reports describe hundreds of bodies and more still being uncovered as violence raged through many parts of northern Nigeria which is the center of Muslims in the country. A local journalist from the state of Borno claimed at least 200 militants were surrounding a mosque as they waited for Nigerian troops and police to attempt driving them away. During the fighting militants torched churches and government buildings.

Police reports indicate many militants have fled to forest areas. Initial reports suggest the militants are attempting to create conflict between northern Muslims and southern Christians and play upon tensions which have arisen as northern states impose sharia law.