Monthly Archives: January 2011

Headlines From The World Press

Each day we offer a sample of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

China, China Daily: “Fight To End Drought”
We should rain on this suggestion.

Indonesia, Jakarta Post: “Is This Nation Beyond Repair?”
Two years of a Republican controlled Congress guarantees the answer is–YES!

Russia, Moscow Times: “Goodbye Lenin”
Hello Putin.

Japan, Japan Times: “Pedestrian Zone Reopens”
Now, we know where to aim our cars.

Sweden, The Local: “Women Denied Job After Miscarriage”
This is what is termed a miscarriage of justice.

USA, AOL: “What Should I Do?”
If in Congress, focus on job creation.

Australia, Sydney Morning Herald: “Teacher Taped Student Mouth Shut”
Big deal, the American government has been trying to shut up those opposing foreign policy decisions.

South Africa, Argus: “Who Should Be Mayor?”
Anyone but someone with the name of Bloomberg.

Canada, Toronto Star: “Tailor Hand Up His Tape”
I guess he no longer measured up to the job.

South Africa, Mail & Guardian: “Polite Gang Robs Wealthy”
They rob from the rich and give to themselves.

ASK DR. FRED

Dear Dr.Fred

I am a God fearing Christian who knows that Jesus Christ would never sanction marriage between two people of the same sex. Homosexuality is a crime against nature. Why are there so many immoral perverts in America?
Harry the Homophobe

Dear Harry:
You hit the nail right on the head in your reference to Jesus Christ. As far as I can recall, Jesus was not the result of a man mating with a woman. His birth can best be explained as an act of nature. But, at least he had God as his dad which is a lot more than those fags can say. If the world became gay, we would all become unhappy not having children around anymore. Please don’t despair, we have Sarah Palin on our side whose daughter at least mated while single with a nice young man and not some homo.
Please don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against homos, but they sure won’t help us create millions of new customers. Frankly, I think we ought to ship them all to Saudi Arabia or Uganda. But, please don’t get me wrong, some of my best friends are queers.

Bombs Away–Far Away–In Russia

Shopping malls throughout Russia were the scenes of fleeing customers when stores reported finding messages in rest rooms about hidden bombs. After intensive search no such bombs were found at any of the malls that supposedly were the target of terrorist attacks. Security officials believe they have identified the man who blew himself up at the Moscow airport and killed a few dozen people. He is supposedly a 20 year old male from the North Caucusus region. Police also identified Vitaly Razdobuko, who is a member of Nogal Jamaat as a collaborator in the attack. The bottom line is refusal on the part of the Russian government to allow people in regions of the Caucusus mountains to enjoy free elections and the right to be led by those from their own groups. Heavy handed policies by Vladmir Putin have gained him popularity among Russians and hatred among other people in Russia.

President Medvedev was attending an economic conference and had to explain the bombing. Until Medvedev ceases being a lackey of Putin he can never become a great leader who brings democracy to Russia and respect in the world.

Obama Foreign Links Exposed

We regret to inform Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh and all others who seek a foreign ancestry to the Obama family that they have been pursuing the wrong area of the world. It is now clear that Michelle Obama is simply an agent of foreign powers who seek to destroy the American economy and turn it over to effete British foreign agents. At the recent dinner for President Hu of China, the First Lady of the United States wore a gown that was made IN THE UNITED KINGDOM BY THE BRITISH HOUSE ALEXANDER MCQUEEN! This is shocking news at a time when this nation is desperately seeking jobs for native born Americans. Oscar de la Renta expressed the chagrin of American fashion designers by noting, “this is a big industry in this nation. She should do a great deal for our industry,” You can say that again! On one hand, President Obama promises to do everything in his power to provide jobs for Americans, but apparently he can not even convince his wife to buy American!!

This incident is simply additional proof that Barack Obama was not born in America, he is a foreign sympathizer who seeks to destroy American industry and sell us out to followers of the Queen. I thought we Americans rebelled against England, but apparently the Obama family is nothing but a bunch of loyalists! I bet Sarah Palin only wears clothes made in Alaska. I bet Michele Bachman only wears clothes made in Minnesota by native born Americans.

Glenn Beck Inspires Violence

After the horror of Tucson, Republicans like Sarah Palin claimed liberals were using the tragedy in order to smear her and claim she somehow was responsible for a deranged man killing people. Glenn Beck has conducted a campaign against “liberals” which seeks to end their plans to take over control of the United States. He has ben pinpointing his attack on elderly white haired Professor Frances Fox Piven who wrote an article forty years ago which urged signing up poor people for welfare payments in order to force the government to develop job programs. To Beck, this is a revolutionary manifesto which will result in the end of capitalism and the triumph of something termed, “socialism.” Since publication of her article, the wealth of the top 1% of Americans has increased from controlling about 10% of our wealth to 23.5 %. Since Beck launched his attack on an old woman, she has received death threats. “At first,” she says, “I thought it was funny, but now I know it’s dangerous.” She even received threats that say, “one shot, one kill.”

Beck insists he has nothing to do with these threats. Byron Williams was halted by police in California when they discovered he had a truck loaded with guns and ammunition. Williams told police he was inspired by Beck to go to San Francisco and kill liberals. Yes, Sarah, your words of anger have no effect on people.

Afghanistan In Chaos, Says Report

Once upon a time about ten years ago there was a wonderful prince who ruled in the United States and he said it was time to bring democracy to the poor land of Afghanistan. He sent in troops, they got rid of the bad people who ruled the nation and were soon replaced by a new group of bad people who ruled the nation. A recent report by the Inspector General for Afghanistan Reconstruction, points out that the new bad guys are just as incompetent as the old bad guys. General Arnold Fields notes that only 2.2% of Afghan soldiers are even literate and that includes the most elite of their fighting men. There are scant long term planning and money is simply wasted- or winds up in the hands of the bad guys who currently rule that land so far, far away. Perhaps, someone in charge of the American government can explain why after an entire decade we can not even develop a program that teaches soldiers how to read and write, let alone how to fire a weapon?

There are no reports of Taliban militants ready to surrender, but General Fields points out there is no plan to integrate these men into the Afghan armed forces let alone into Afghan society. What was that about fiddling as Rome burns……?

Egyptian Fruit Of Oppression Is Bitter

Dictators possess a complete faith in their capacity to keep the masses quiet. Usually, it is through the use of force, prison, torture and control of the media to prevent the nation from knowing what is going on. Hosni Mubarak has ruled Egypt for three decades during which time he has not only stifled the media, but has thwarted efforts to create a vibrant economy providing jobs for youth. At some point, the combination of brutality and lack of economic opportunities was going to result in a massive explosion of anger. To make matters worse, he refused to allow anyone in his own party to emerge as a possible successor since he was grooming his son, Gamal, to fit that role. Tunisia was the spark that lit the flame of anger, and now Egypt is in chaos as thousands are in the streets yelling for change. Mobs of Muslim militants attacked prisons and turned loose hundreds of prisoners. A combination of poverty, corruption and denial of basic human rights has led to the current state of anger and growing violence.

Mubarak still does not grasp sending more troops, more tanks, flying jets overhead will not halt the drive toward democracy. If he had any intelligence, Mr. Mubarak would head for the nearest airport and grab a plane headed to Saudi Arabia.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a twenty year old mind trapped in an 80 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

I sometimes think God is a card shark. He always wins.

Some drink intellectually from the fountain of youth, some physically, I prefer both.

A father whose chin is resting on his hands has something important to say to his son.

No one believes I am 80, most say, 60.

Four buses were parked at Wal-Mart. I guess it is a new product line, “Trips To Wal-Mart.”

Very small children love slamming doors.

I enjoy the solitude of IHOP at 4:30 p.m.

I wonder what percent of R&D is spent on developing new foods.

Those who want guns in order to protect themselves, most probably will only use it to defend themselves against a squirrel.

There is something about a rainy Tuesday morning that makes one nostalgic.

Tea Party Congressmen held luncheons for Lobbyists. Ah, the claims of November are frozen out in January.

To observe the human condition is to wear a skeptical look.

I wonder if human history will reach a point where there are no new points.

My main complaint against God is that we humans defecate through the rear rather than blowing it out through the mouth.

My Rule of Seven is that I must write at least seven comments at a sitting.

Tall women who wear high heels are definitely intimidating.

Owners of coffee shops should rent out booths as offices.

It is years since I wore a sweater, I wonder why?

Philosopher Queen Palin Disagrees

Sarah Palin, the philosopher Queen of Alaska has once again explained to we ignorant masses why supporting the ideas of Barack Obama would lead to financial disaster. For some strange reason, the spokesperson for fiscal responsibility never uttered a word of complaint against George Bush when he transformed a budget with a surplus left by Bill Clinton into a deficit in the hundreds of billions. She derided Obama’s ideas for bullet trains as
half baked” and went on to urge fiscal responsibility. Actually, trains are more efficient, they reduce use of oil, they reduce traffic congestion and they transport people not only quicker, but more efficiently. During the weeks after 9/11 few cars could enter New York City and people used the subways. The streets of New York were devoid of cars and traffic congestion. If the Long Island Railroad ran trains every five minutes we could cut 50% of the number of cars entering New York and do the same with all major cities.

Yes, the Republican Party created the current financial mess. In 1980, President Reagan inherited a national debt of about $2 Trillion and got it up to $4 Trillion. In 2001, George Bush inherited a national debt of $5 Trillion and worked it up to 11 Trillion. So, we Democrats and liberals have to work our way around Republican fiscal irresponsibility and fast trains would be a good first step.

Love Burns Out In Pakistan

Saima, who lived in the village of Basti Hakra in Sindh province in Pakistan met a young men in Karachi named Delawar, they quickly fell in love and decided to marry. Ah, but this is Pakistan where love stories such as Romeo and Juliet might be read, but they were never to be put into action. Delawar came to her village and they fled in the night to Krachi. Her parents were infuriated at the elopement of their daughter and made haste to Karachi. At this point, the story becomes muzzy. Did the parents force Saima to return home or was the young girl forced to go with her parents back to the small village? We probably will never know what happened. On her return Saima had to appear before the town council, which consisted mainly of people from her family. This is Pakistan where the defendant is guilty unless she could, by a miracle, prove her innocence. She was condemned to death.

The following night, Saima was doused with boiling water and as she screamed in pain, her body was then placed into a makeshift electric chair and she quickly died. The real tragedy of this story is that it occurs all too often in small villages throughout the world. Perhaps, one solution is banning the story of Romeo and Juliet