Monthly Archives: February 2011

Bahrain Battle Of Mobs

The Egyptian flu has spread to Bahrain but apparently is has infected some, but not all people in that tiny country. The nation is governed by a Sunni Muslim monarch who presides over a people who are mainly Shiite. The result is that government positions are staffed by Sunnis and it is a bit easier for a Sunni to secure jobs than for a Shiite. Yesterday, thousands of supporters of the monarch went into the streets to voice demands for an end to violence and for some sort of democratic government in which the king would remain, but with limited powers. Hassan Mushaima, a hard line Shiite cleric is flying back home to lead Shiite protests, but authorities have warned they have a warrant to arrest him. Many in Pearl Square, the center of agitation, insist they do not seek to end the monarch, but want establishment of an English style monarch who would reign rather than rule. On Monday, a new movement, the National Unity Group, which is heavily Sunni urged democracy and monarchy.

The King announced he was freeing dozens of political prisoners. Most probably, in the back of minds of Sunnis is their neighbor to the north which is ruled by a Shiite dictatorship that persecutes anyone who is not Shiite. An outsider can understand the reluctance of Bahrain Sunnis to simply turn power over to the Shiites.

Where Are The Imams?

A few years ago a Danish cartoonist printed a strip which aroused the anger of Muslims throughout the world because they claimed it insulted the Prophet. During the past weeks, over a thousand people in Libya have died due to the murderous behavior of a thug named Muammar Gaddafi and there has yet to be a single demonstration of anger in any Muslim nation! Cartoons arouse anger, the bodies of a thousand innocent Muslims apparently do not resonate with Muslim religious leaders in this world. Fortunately, this failure of nerve is more than made up by thousands of wonderful young Muslims who march through the streets of their nation demanding democracy.

Gaddafi has summoned mercenaries from all over Africa to help in his fight against the people of Libya. Most of these men are not Muslim, but as far as Muammar is concerned, the issue is how to retain power–by any means. So far, cities like Benghazi has rid themselves of troops loyal to the boss man in Tripoli. Air force pilots have refused to fire on their fellow Libyans. Men, women and children display incredible bravery in their struggle for democracy.

My question is: Where are Muslim religious leaders?

Porn Not Welcome At Turkish College

Students at Bilgi University in Turkey are up in arms, and perhaps, up in other parts of their bodies, at news three professors were fired because the sanctioned a student research project dealing with pornography. Faculty members sanctioned a student research that was titled: “The Porn Project” and thus earned the ire of college administrators. Faculty and students were angry at what one claimed of a society that “is close minded and so are the academics.” Mathematician Ali Nesin emphasized, “Academic freedom is not the freedom to drink
coffee in your office. It is being able to swim in dangerous waters.”

After the administration tried to ban the media, students marched to the gates shouting, “let the police out, let the press in.” Apparently, the administration is upset because Deniz Ozglun’s, “The Porn Project,” included footage of two people having sex. The administration even filed criminal charges against one professor on grounds since he allowed the research then he is responsible for sex footage. They went on to shut down every email account belonging to faculty members and block their websites in order to prevent unified action by the faculty.

It gets worse. Police raided the faulty computer lab and searched hard drives. We can only assume they were trying to find members of the faculty who gaze at naked women. Of course, no members of the administration ever gazed at the sight of naked women.

Are You Spiritually Fit?

The United States army has decided it wants soldiers who are “spiritually fit” fighting in the front lines and atheists should step to the rear. According to General ”Rhonda Cornom: “researchers have found that spiritual people have decreased odds of attempting suicide and that spiritual fitness has a positive impact on quality of life, on coping and mental health.” In other words if one believes in God, there is a greater likelihood of being able to fire your weapon in combat. Of course, since God urges humans to love one another and live in peace, it is unclear why the Old Man up in the sky wants people who seek to murder and slaughter other humans, Sgt. Justin Griffith considers himself a “foxhole atheist” and after taking the survey test received a not which informed the combat veteran “spiritual fitness may be an area of difficulty.”

I believe the United States Constitution allows each individual to decide his or her understanding of spirituality. This survey is a violation of constitutional rights and should not be administered to anyone who believes it is a violation of their human rights. What if someone is a devout believer in God, but interprets Jesus Christ to mean peace on earth to all?

Heresy–The Worse Crime?

For many religious people, hatred toward those who are part of the religion, but have different interpretations as to its meanings are regarded with greater hatred than toward those of other religions. The Ahmadiyah are a branch of the Muslim religion in Indonesia who have several different ideas about the religion, and this has resulted in persecution, hatred and even violence toward its members. The government of Indonesia has refused to accept pleas by some Indonesian Muslims to disband the religion. Amien Rais, former head of the second largest Muslim organization in the country, argues, “Amadiyah is indeed misleading , but the followers also have a right to live,a and they must be disbanded if they try to sabotage the nation, not because of their belief that(Muhammad) was not the last prophet.” He dislikes this group but fears if one group is disbanded it will only encourage attacks on other groups. The Amadiyah began during the 1920s and its members have been attacked and persecuted since they claim to be Muslims, but also do not agree with standard interpretations of the relgion.

In recent weeks there has been a significant increase in attacks upon the Amadiyah. Of course, in such debates as to what a founder of a religion occur, one is left with a question: exactly how does anyone know what the founder exactly said?

WHY I WANT TO LEAVE PLANET EARTH

I am an Earthian who desires to make contact with any planet that contains intelligent life forms. Let me explain the situation on this planet that its inhabitants refer to as Earth:

1. The US Congress proposes eliminating funding for Sesame Street but maintaining funding for NASCAR.

2. President Barack Obama, a former Community Organizer, proposes slashing in half funds for Community Organizers and groups.

3. Republican leader, John Boehner, says cutting federal funding and firing a few hundred thousand employees is part of his program to create jobs.

4. The population of the planet will rise from 7 billion inhabitants to 9 billion according to a UN report. The US Congress wants to eliminate family planning money.

5. The Republican party secured over a hundred million in donations from the Chamber of Commerce and will repay them by ending the right of government employees to collectively bargain.

6. Barack Obama is to Socialism as Sarah Palin is to showing concern for poor people.

7. There are 17 million unemployed people in the US and not a single intelligent plan has been proposed to get them back to working.

8. The most important issue confronting America according to Sarah Palin and Congresswoman Bachman is being able to deduct from the income tax money spent to purchase a breast pump.

9. The Stock market has risen from 7,000 when Obama took office to 11,300 today. That’s why businessmen call Obama, “anti-business.”

10. Wall Street folk received over a hundred billion dollar bonuses under the administration of anti-business Barack Obama.

11. Business corporations have 2 trillion in their accounts but refuse to spend this money to create jobs. Lack of jobs is due to “government regulations.”

12. Wealthy Americans believe it is a communist plot to make them pay the top income tax rate of 39% instead of the Capitalist rate of 36%.

Rush Involved In Calorie Wars

The United States has about 17 million people without jobs, it has a national debt created by the Republican party that is over $13 Trillion but Republicans want the American people to focus on the real problems facing their society–Michelle Obama’s crusade to cut down on fat folk! Rotund, oh, let us put it more accurately, FAT Rush Limbaugh is now on a crusade against Michelle Obama who he claims is an eating hypocrite because she had ribs for dinner one night! “It doesn’t look like Michelle Obama follows her own nutrition diet advice” and furthermore he noted, she is not the type of woman “you might see on the cover of Sports Illustrated.” You have to admit, Rush tells it like it is. And, furthermore, we must admit when it comes to discussing eating habits of fat people, who better can discuss it than the fat little man on the microphone?

A host of other conservatives, having nothing other to complain about today, chimed in with anger at Michelle having ribs. Rush claimed the First Lady ate a meal that was at least 1500 calories which goes to show when Democrats talk about cutting the fat out of the budget, they mean your fat, not our fat.

Oh, the chef where she ate said the meal was about 600 calories. Rush continually rushes to judgment about his idiocy, but he does have that right since he is America’s fat slob of the year.

Death Of The Innocent In Afghanistan

President Hamid Karzai is on the war path in his fight to attain victory in his nation. Well, perhaps, he is not as much concerned about victory, but he seeks to come across as the great defender of his people. The latest dispute arose when General David Petraeus supposedly insulted the people of Afghanistan by claiming they deliberately burned hands and feet of children in order to prove that NAT)/US planes were bombing their villages. Karzai also claimed Admiral Smith made similar remarks. “The president,” said a news release, “was extremely annoyed by the comments made by Admiral Smith that Afghans boil the feet and feet of their children to discipline them and we find these comments outrageous, insulting and racist.” a spokes person for General Petraeus said the general was arguing that supposed wounds inflicted on children during a supposed air raid, “may have been the result of discipline sometimes handed out to Afghan children.”

Reality:

1. Air raids DO result in the death of innocent civilians, and most probably of children.

2. Drone attacks can NOT be perfect and to pretend so is misleading about reality.

3. Perhaps, General Petraeus should just shut up and cease making such remarks. After all, he comes from a country in which 20 states still allow corporal punishment of children in school and at home.

Report From A Tent In Libya

Due to our close connections with the hero of Libya, Muammar Gaddafi, we are able to provide a first hand account of what is happening in this country. After checking with his highness, Muammar, it is now clear the so-called uprising is nothing more than a botched attempt by the Israel Mossad to create chaos in this peaceful land of happy people. Muammar assured this correspondent the entire situation is caused by young men and women high on drugs given them by Mossad and that once they regain normality everything will return to normal. We offer first hand accounts of what the Great Leader is saying to the world:

“I am a fighter, a revolutionary, from tents. I will die as a martyr at the end.”

After checking with the great democratic leader, Fidel Castro we have been told that stories about alleged violence in Libya can be best understood in this way: “We have to wait the necessary time to know with rigor how much is truth or lies.” After all, Fidel is a revolutionary who has created a paradise of peace, prosperity and democracy in the island kingdom of Cuba.

Oh, we just talked with President Daniel Ortega, the democratic leader of Guatamala who wanted Muammar to know he “expressed his support.”

Oops, here comes something from Italy where Silvio Berlusconi who has been smeared by Mossad agents who spread lies that Silvio fools around with young girls. Silvio is happy to announce that after talking with Muammar, he is now assured, “everything is fine.”

Flash from the Arab League: “We urge the initiation of national dialogue to respond to the demands of the Libyan people.” We have been assured by reliable sources in the government that it is clear the Arab League is now working for Mossad.

Anyway, the good news is that Muammar is ready to die a martyr for the people of Libya. We wish him success in becoming a martyr.

Republicans Save America!

I spent most of my life as one of those communist liberal socialists, but recently had an opportunity to watch Glenn Beck and speak to honest. decent American members of the Tea Party. I have finally seen the light of intelligence. From what I have learned in the course of this quick course in economics and American history it is clear we need more and more Republicans in Congress.

1. Did you know if we can end abortions, the nation will have more children to put in schools that lack teachers due to budget cut backs? Let’s face it, most teachers are incompetent and under Republican rule, the kids will teach themselves. This shows how Republicans believe in children.

2. Republicans want to end funding any doctors or hospitals that allow women to abort a human being. Think of the positive side of this idea. We cease funding hospitals, we then have to fire doctors which means there are fewer doctors to perform abortions.

3. There is another benefit to closing down Government funded hospitals. No hospitals means each person is responsible for her/his health. This will lead to more exercise, better diets and we will wind up having a healthier population. Just close down those damn liberal Government funded hospitals.

4. I was so happy to hear Republicans had ended funding of Sesame Street. Sesame Street is a secret Communist oriented show which brainwashes children to believe they should make friends with strange looking black skinned kids or those who speak a babble from Asia. If we close down Sesame Street the kids will turn to NASCAR racing and become red blooded American he men and he women.

5. Of course, I am still upset at failure on the part of the Republican party to end social security. Why the hell should my tax money go to take care of a bunch of shiftless folk who refused to save for their old age?

6. Of course, the most important step taken by the Republican party is to lower taxes on the wealthy. Every dollar given to a millionaire means our money is being used to create jobs. Think about the positive aspect of lower taxes on the wealthy. More yachts will be built, more lavish parties held which provide jobs for waiters and bartenders, and more people working as maids. What exactly is so wrong about ensuring wealthy folk have more money? If you read the Bible, Christ clearly said: “Blessed are the wealthy, for theirs is the kingdom in Heaven.”

7. I propose we bring praying back to school. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if all American children began the day saying: “Oh God, please make certain today that all Wall Street bankers earn a million dollars. Oh God, take care of the wealthy and make certain my dad and mom have jobs cleaning their lawns.”