Monthly Archives: April 2011

Life In Republican Land

It is the year 2015, and President Sarah Palin is celebrating the massive Republican victory in the election of 2012. American finally is being ruled by a conservative majority in all branches of government.

1. It is almost three years to the day when the Supreme Court by a 5 to 4 vote declared Sarah Palin president. Yes, she was behind in Florida by 150,000 votes, but Justice Scalia, speaking for the majority noted Obama had received 200,000 votes from illegal immigrants. He also made clear the fact Palin’s lawyer was his best man did not mean he had to excuse himself from the ruling.

2. Passage of Ann Ryand act now requires all members of Congress to prove they possess at least $5,000,000. The law was passed to prevent lazy poor people from influencing legislation.

3. The Protect Muslims From Muslim act now requires all Muslims to live in special areas of the country so they will not be influenced by radical ideas.

4. The Keep America Clean act now requires anyone receiving unemployment benefits to clean garbage bins by first eating all food found in them.

5. The End Death Panel law now forbids any doctor working with elderly patients who do not possess $1,000,000 to remain silent about medical treatment in order to allow them to handle their own bodies.

6. After assassination of three Democratic Senators by NRA members, the Protect Myself Against Socialism act now terms such events as justifiable killings in order to protect our nation.

7. President Palin just returned from a trip to Mexico where she informed the president of that nation that the US will now annex Mexico in accordance with the Treaty of 1848 that ended the war.

8. Vice President Michele Bachmann is still furious that on her trip to England she was not served limes. “They are limeys, aren’t they?” was her comment.

9. Secretary of State Mike Huckabee at a meeting with Israel and Palestinian leaders urged them to resolve their problems by displaying a good Christian attitude.

10. The “Save A Child For Christ” law now allows church groups to take children from those on welfare and have them work as maids in the church.

11. Justice Thomas ruled it was the original intention of our Founding Fathers that only conservatives can serve in Congress.

12. The “Kill A Commie for Christ” act allows anyone to kill a person who is suspected of being a Muslim militant.

WELCOME TO REPUBLICAN LAND

Republicans Divide Over Libya

Senator John McCain is in Libya where he expressed support for rebels who are fighting against dictator Muammar Gaddafi. It increasingly becomes unclear if McCain speaks for the Republican party or for himself. Ron Paul and Tea Party folk have no interest in supporting anyone other than wealthy folk in America, Mike Huckabee has yet to express a coherent thought, Sarah and Michele are still trying to figure out exactly where this place called Libya is in the world, and Mitt is waiting for the right moment to figure out what he should say about war. McCain wants more US military support for the rebels, he wants assets frozen from Gaddafi bank accounts to be turned over to rebel forces so they can purchase weapons. The Obama administration will soon employ drones and thus we can be certain some innocent Libyans will soon die. In other words, there is no Republican policy toward dictators like Gaddafi and there is hesitation on the part of Obama towards making a major commitment.

We are living in the aftermath of wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. Just as the Vietnam war led to Americans turning away from foreign military adventures, the Bush fiasco in Iraq has soured the desire to go to war. We assume that John McCain is simply a lonely Republican voice lost in the babble about where Obama was born.

Donald Trump announced he was conducting an investigation that will prove Muammar Gaddafi was NOT born in Libya.

There’s Money In That Oil

Conservatives like Ron Paul insist the only solution to achieve economic success is to trust in the integrity of businessmen since according to the Ayn Rand gospel, do what is necessary in order to make industry develop and thus make everyone wealthy. The English Guardian revealed efforts by executives in fossil fuel industry to make the case against renewable energy and persuade governments the future lies in oil and gas. A report issued by the European Gas Advocacy Forum argues if the European Union would depend on oil and gas there would not be any need to waste time on things like wind or solar power. A study from Cornell University argues generating electricity from shale gas produced at least as much carbon dioxide as coal fueled power which is the opposite conclusion emanating from the Gas Advocacy group.

The big companies are spending money on lobbyists, they are spending money on legislators because their road to success always begins and ends with spending money.

Murderer Obtains Get-Out-Of-Jail

Shawn Tyson of Sarasota, Florida was arrested as a suspect in the murder of two visiting British tourists. Shawn is a troubled sixteen year old boy who has been in constant fights with the police, has dropped out of school, and according to a Florida judge, he is “a danger to the community.” So, what happens? For some reason, detectives working on the case never appeared for the hearing which meant that Judge Lee Haworth did not know the boy had previously been arrested and then freed from jail before he participated in the murder of the two UK citizens At this point, the police have no idea how or why James Cooper and James Kouzaris wound up in a neighborhood that was plagued by crime and murder. Why would these strangers wind up in a gang infested area at 3:00 a.m.? Did they take the wrong route to a hotel or were they earlier in the evening robbed and forced to go to this area?

The Brits wound up where they never should have been. However, Tyson has a track record of crime and violence and he also should never have wound up where he could be confronting two strangers. The TV show, “Law and Order” portrays hard working intelligent police officers. We prefer believing that in the real world detectives range from incompetent to excellent. Sometimes in life, a step in the wrong direction can get you killed.

Free Speech Means Fenton,Too

Derek Fenton is an angry man who believes Muslims throughout the world are enemies of the American people. He regards the Koran as a book that has no meaning unlike the Bible which is filled with words of wisdom. He apparently does not know it is a common belief of those who are Muslims that the Bible is a holy book and that Mohammad traces his ideas back to Jews and Christians. Mr. Fenton is angry. ON September 13, 2010 he burned the Koran and expressed his hate of those who are Muslim. He happens to work for a government body and they fired him. Due to efforts of the American Civil Liberties Union(ACLU) Fenton won a court case and the judge made clear that he was on his own time and burned the Koran during Fenton time. He will received $25,000 plus $331 per day for every missed work day.

This story should be broadcast throughout the world as an example of how democracy really works. Free speech means free speech, not selective decisions as to what can or can not be expressed.

Terry Jones Shoots Again!

Terry Jones is a minister of something or other who believes that something or other up in the sky has sent him a message to wipe out weapons. He so enjoys shooting off his mouth about “terrorists” or “the Koran” or something that results in shot of his face on the 6:00 p.m. news. His plans to burn a Koran resulted in riots throughout the Muslim world and the deaths of over a dozen people, including members of the UN staff in Afghanistan. Terry openly claims sorrow anyone died as a result of him shooting off his mouth, but, most probably, he was wild with joy that the name of Terry Jones had become famous. He currently is in Michigan in order to hold a rally in Dearborn which will highlight his desire to burn another Koran and so on. He was getting into his car when accidentally, the gun went off sending a bullet through the floor of the car. “I always, always have the safety on…” he exclaimed. I guess even God’s messenger can make a mistake.

His blunders highlight two problems with right wing conservatives. Yes, Terry, you forgot the safety and how many thousands of youngsters will also forget the safety. Yes, people will die as a result of your big mouth. By the way, Terry, God informed me he always keeps his weapon on safety when you speak, just to ensure your hating words do not trigger off a reaction.

Oxford Defends Racism

Oxford University is upset. Prime Minister David Cameron insulted the institution by claiming it was “disgraceful” that only one black student was studying at Oxford last year. The university wants the world to know that among its 2500 students, there were, not one, but 26 other students who were of black origin and another 14 of mixed black descent. How could anyone claim that Oxford is not doing its best to admit students of black origin?

Prime Minister Cameron also noted the percent of students coming from state supported schools(public schools) was declining and more and more student at Oxford and Cambridge were coming from elite universities. At the same time he made these comments, Prime Minister David Cameron was tripling tuition at colleges in England. One would assume a graduate of Oxford would grasp that by raising college tuition it means fewer student from poor backgrounds will even attend college–even if they were accepted! But, then again, just because there is no longer a British empire is no reason to deprive the rightful rulers of the realm of their authority to rule.

HEADLINES FROM THE WORLD PRESS

Each day we offer a sample of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

Sweden, The Local: “Probe Sex Chamber”
I trust it was a satisfying probe.

Denmark, Copenhagen Post: “Foreign Minister Tells Danes To Leave Japan”
I assume this government official is an anti-earthquake bigot.

New Zealand, New Zealand Herald: “Need Elderly Back To Work”
They have too much time on their hands and loaf around.

Canada, Toronto Star: “I’m Not A Bad Person”
I’m just a member of the Republican Party.

South Africa, Argus: “Leisure Execs Got To Jail”
And, a pleasant time was had by all.

UK, Guardian: “Do You Believe In Tall Tales?”
Then support the Rep. Ryan tax program.

Norway, Norway Post: “Naked Scandinavians Banned From Facebook”
But, welcomed on MySpace.

Germany, Der Spiegel: “My Wife Is Fully Against..”
Fill in whatever you like.

USA, New York Post: “More Doctors, More Nurses”
More babies.

Australia, Brisbane Times: “Sympathy For Devil”
Just another Republican program to restore America to greatness.

Slave Auctions In Sweden

Two student associations at Lund University in Sweden had parties in which the group of well educated college students decided to hold slave auctions. Three people with blackened faces had ropes around their necks and were led into a large hall under the guidance of a “slave trader.” People in the audience then bid for the slaves. It is unclear if any of the slaves were lynched for refusing to do as told. It is unclear if any of the slaves were women who were subsequently raped by their “owner.” Jallow Momodou of the Afro-Swedish Association gave his view about the incident. “Slavery is one of the worst crimes against humanity and students at Lund University are trying to make a joke about it. They are laughing at the fact that several millions of my ancestors were kidnapped, raped and killed.”

There is humor and their is racism. If students at Lund University are really interested in slavery, they might organize campaigns and raise money to free people in east Africa who are kept in slavery. But, then again, such action would not result in much laughter.

NRA Protests Bigotry!

He was a five year old boy calmly eating his lunch in a cafeteria of an elementary school when, by accident, the loaded gun fell from his pocket. Actually, it was a normal mistake that anyone could have made. OK, so the gun went off, OK, so the gun wounded the boy and then wounded another boy and little five year old girl. Just because of an ordinary miscalculation, the liberal media is attempting to use this incident in order to further their Communist, Socialist program to deprive Americans of their Constitutional rights to have guns. If one examines the bright side, it enabled a five year old girl to say “I got scared.” In other words, she now knows what a gun shot is and what it does which means she will become a careful user of weapons. The two little boys who were wounded now understand how to go about taking care of a gunshot wound. These are positive benefits.

I checked with a local NRA official and was told. “The earlier in life children have encounters with weapons, the earlier they are preparing themselves to deal with criminals and perverts. The little boy with the gun now understands he must always keep his gun under cover in order to surprise criminals. Thank God we live in a land in which tiny children are learning how to use weapons!!