Monthly Archives: August 2011

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a twenty year old mind trapped in an 80 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

To be human is never to know the solace of peace and quiet.

Capitalism transforms the mind into a giant dollar bill.

Pettiness makes one feel a sense of power. I prefer being powerless.

Grand Opening of new McDonald’s. I walked through honor guard of Big Macs and was showered with french fries.

The issue is not “more jobs” but more jobs with “good pay.”

The concept of a tattoo is taboo for me.

Travel the road unknown to get to know who you are.

I  enjoy the state of ambiguity. More interesting.

People blame “politicians,” but people elected the politicians.

HOW REPUBLICANS HANDLE DISASTERS

Unlike prior administrations in American history, the  Republican party has its own approach to deal with a natural disaster.

1.  Chop wood in Texas and send the scraps to disaster areas in order to build new houses.

2.  If your house was wiped out by a hurricane, ask yourself: how about building a new home in the right place next time?

3.  So, exactly what is the problem with some water in the basement? The kids can swim in it.

4.  Blame it on Obama.

5.  Stop using Socialist firemen and replace them with free enterprise ones. They will get the fire out quicker since they get a bonus.

6.  How about blaming disasters on gay marriage?

7.  Tell folks, “next time pray to God more frequently and loudly.”

8.  Look at the bright side-houses destroyed means the Republican job program will be in full swing.

9. If nothing else works, blame it on al-Qaeda.

10.  Tell folks: “remember,every dark cloud is followed by the bright sun.

Political Nicknames

WE OFFER A COLLECTION OF POLITICAL NICKNAMES

1.  Brash Ricky

2.  Spineless Barack

3.  Stupid Sarah

4.  Neutered Newt

5.  Boring Bachmann

6.  By George, Call Me Mr. WMD!

7.  Smug Santorum

8.  Abel Ain’t Cain

9.  Saint Paul

9.  Meandering Mitt

10.  Tea Sipping Boehner

 

Protect Straight Rights!

Republican Rep. Duncan Hunter is on a crusade to protect the rights of those who serve in the armed forces from being compelled to sleep or eat or talk with any of “those people.” He introduced a new bill which would “ensure that a member of the Armed Forces under their jurisdiction is not pressured to approve of another person’s sexual conduct if that sexual conduct is contrary to the personal principles of the member.” OK, so how about?

1. No Protestant should be compelled to sleep near one of those Catholics who takes his marching orders from the Pope!

2. No member of the Armed Forces should be compelled to sleep within twenty feet of anyone who farts at night!

3. No member of the Armed Forces should be compelled to sleep within thirty feet of anyone who eats bacon or pork to ensure my Jewish nostrils are not impacted by those filthy immoral smells!

4. Most important, no member of the Armed Forces should be compelled to be in close proximity to any member of the Republican Party in order to ensure his/her brain does not get contaminated by nonsense!

When Will Israel Ever Learn?

It is quite apparent that some time in the coming month, the UN will take up the application of the Palestinian Authority to be recognized as a legal government. An intelligent Israel government would rush to hold meetings with President Abbas in order to achieve a compromise settlement of Israel-Palestinian issues. So, what does the idiotic government of Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu propose: -outfit settlers with stun grenades and tear gas!! Yes, Mr. Netanyahu, this is definitely a way to achieve peace in our time.

The assumption of Israel’s military establishment is for demonstrations by Palestinians  demanding their right to a national home.(Sound familiar, Jews in Israel?). They assume there will be marches and demonstrations, and possibly violence. President Abbas has urged all who demonstrate to avoid use of violence.

Why, why, does the Israel government refuse to negotiate? Frankly, the argument they have tried in the past and failed does not fit contemporary situations. For the first time there IS a Palestinian government which wants to negotiate in a fair manner.

Stun grenades halt people for the moment. But, what happens to the future?

Gaddafi Lives On Causing Trouble

The Libyan National Transitional Council is out to get Muammar  Gaddafi, but in the process of revenge it may unleash the dogs of war. Algeria offered sanctuary to the Gaddafi family, and thus allowed wives and children to escape. Let them be, they are not the dictator, they are his family. The NTC has issued a warning to those who might shelter Gaddafi or sons: “we are going after them in any place to find them and arrest them.” Not, you are not.

Algeria is not the place to seek war. Algeria is a potential ally in the quest for peace and stability in the region. Calm down talk about violence. It would be preferable if the NTC turned over the entire Gaddafi war crime issue to the International Court for  Criminal Justice.

Libya has enough on its plate just to create a government. It does not need to be distracted by issues of who harbors or does not harbor Gaddafi. Allow the ICC to handle the situation and get on with the task of government.

DSK, TSK, For French Man

Dominique Strauss Kahn is no longer in the USA facing possible charges about attacking a maid in his hotel room, but he is now confronting anger among members of his own Socialist party. Martine Aubry, a leading candidate of his party who is seeking to run in the next presidential election, made clear that although, “I was the first to say he is innocent until proven guilty,” but, “I think the same as most women about his attitude toward women.” And, she does not mean that as a compliment!

A recent poll revealed that 53% of French people do not want him seeking the office of president and hope he will leave the field of politics for another venue in life. Heck, former prime minister Michel Rocard claims DSK is “mentally ill.” If DSK was as intelligent as he claims to be, find a good company to join that will not be pestered by his attitude toward women. Allow the people of France a rest from dealing with sexual abuse charges.

HEADLINES FROM THE WORLD PRESS

Each day we offer a sample of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

Australia, Sydney Morning Herald:  ”Protest Auctioning Shoes”

I thought shoes were for throwing at politicians.

South Africa, Argus:   “Rain Lingers”

Rain we don’t mind along the eastern seaboard, it’s the winds!

Kuwait, Kuwait Times:   “Dead Or Alive For Gaddafi”

I have a hunch it would be easier if he was dead more than alive.

Norway, Norway Post:  ”I’m Not Gay”

Sad maybe, but not happy.

New Zealand, New Zealand Herald:  ”Reality Check”

Honestly, do we really have people like Palin and Bachmann running for president in the 21st century?

China, China Daily:   “Holocaust Of A Game”

The Jews won and the Germans lost?

Indonesia, Jakarta Post:  ”Arrest Gay Web Cannibal”

He was eating up web sites.

Endangered Species–Libraries!

Denmark is experiencing a common problem in terms of public libraries that remain open to service the needs of people. As in America, those who seek to “reduce government expenditures,” are forcing communities to close down their libraries or reduce the number of hours and days they remain open for clients. Last year in Denmark, 17 libraries were closed and the entire nation is reduced to just 482 libraries!

Michel Steen, head of the Danish Library Association, points out “the number of branches has been halved since 1980 even though over 100,00 more people used libraries in 2010 than had visited the prior year. Although most come to check out books, a high percent use Internet services or read national and international newspapers. Anyone who has taught children know those who continual visit libraries are the ones who love reading.

Ah, I am certain members of the Tea Party regard libraries as another example of government intruding into the lives of people.

Andrew Carnegie, where are you now that we need you?

DIAL DC 999

A hurricane followed closely after an earthquake and millions of Americans were glued to their TV sets awaiting the latest news from the US Government regarding how to survive the disaster. I did not come across a single Tea Party member urging people to avoid contact with the Federal Government and handle the oncoming disaster on their own–the way our ancestors supposedly dealt with such calamities. The National Oceanographic  and Atmospheric Administration, the parent of the National Weather Service, is struggling for funding in order to ensure the American people have accurate information in times of stress.

I am certain members of the Tea Party would prefer to deal with disasters on their own.  Most probably some of these folk enjoy hunting and fishing in park reserves or enjoying the beauty of nature. I am confused. How could one enjoy such benefits while at the same time demanding reduction in Federal aid to those institutions? Perhaps, those houses of Tea Party folk who hate the federal government might paint signs on their doors and we will avoid evacuating them in times of flooding. After all, we don’t want them feeling like whimps.