Monthly Archives: April 2015

I’m For Kim Jong-un

I am quite aware that many Americans do not like the leader of North Korea. For some reason,this pudgy little guy upsets leaders of the world nor does he please those who pontificate on Fox News. So, how about a few words in defense of our Great Leader, the Wise man of our times?

1. There are no street riots in North Korea.

2. There is no ISIS gang wandering around and killing folks.

3. No one gets beheaded in North Korea. OK, so a few have malnutrition, but no one is obese.

4. No millionaires can buy an election in North Korea.

5. No one has to suffer listening to blond haired idiot women on Fox News.

6. Kim Jong-un loves basketball.

7. People drink tea in North Korea but they do not have to listen to the Tea Party.

8. No black dude from Africa is head of North Korea–just good old yellow skinned leaders.

9. There is no draft of football players, just a draft of any and all young men and women.

10. AND,it is against the law to walk around with a gun in your possession!!

A Civilian’s Guide To Proper Encounter With Police

I was raised on the streets of the South Bronx in New York City so I learned at an early age how to behave when encountering the police.

1. Always walk on your heels since this is less threatening then walking on your soles.

2. Avoid any eye contact with police, just gaze at the ground.

3. If you have black skin walk with your hands behind your back in a position to be handcuffed.

4. Have a patch on your jacket indicating that you gave money to the police benevolent society.

5. Any initial words should be: “massa, massa, did I do anything wrong?”

6. of course walking backwards with hands held high is a good way to indicate you are a peaceful person.

7. When asked your name, say it is: “Mike Flynn” or “Bill O’Reilly.” If either of those names are not your name,head to a court and change your name to an Irish one.

8. It does help if you are walking a dog, a tiny one, that is.

9. It also helps if you are with a beautiful blond girl who smiles at the cops. Of course, if you are a black man this just angers cops.

10. It does help if you are bare chested to make clear there are no secret weapons in your possession.

Oh,Brownie points if you speak with a British accent.

Then again, being dressed like a member of the clergy also helps avoiding being shot.

Just A Ride In A Van

I understand that some folks in Baltimore, Maryland are upset at the cops in their city. I don’t know why these people are in the streets shouting and looting and yelling at the work of our believed police force. So, what actually happened to this guy, Freddie Gray who has caused this problem that currently upsets many folks in the city of Baltimore? First, he looked directly into the eyes of city police, anyone knows that is a major criminal act. Then, he ran away, didn’t this idiot realize that running away from cops is, in effect, a provocation? Of course, if he had run directly at the cops, this would have constituted a direct challenge to their safety and they would have blasted away. Anyway, we now know the cops put Freddie in a van, shackled him but did not place a seat belt to protect his body front the movement of the van.

OK, so the cops decided to play a game, one they have played many times before without causing a civil disturbance. The game is “driving the van in such a way that the prisoner in the back gets thrown around. Heck, this is just like going to a carnival and taking a ride. Apparently during the “rough ride” Freddie was thrown against a bolt and his head suffered some injuries that resulted in his death. I do not understand why so many folks are upset. Are they against rides in a carnival? Oh, some accidents do occur in the carnival, why not in a cop carnival whose goal is simply to give everyone laugh??

Supreme Court Mumbo Jumbo

Chief Justice John Roberts is a graduate of a distinguished Ivy League Law School so it is certain that his comments on the current case before the court dealing with gay rights will be an artful and legal analysis of the issues being examined. I can not dare to even attempt offering any words of wisdom when confronted with a legal mind of this stature. But, let me give it a shot. First, let me offer the brilliant workings of this mind for the century as he offers a legal analysis:

“If Mary loves Joe they can be married. But, if George loves Joe, they cannot. This is an interesting point to consider.”

However, let me offer a more complex issue:

“Wood loves his master, Bill, but he cannot marry Bill. However, Mike loves his sadomasochist master, Bill, but he can marry Bill.” Is that constitutional?

Then again: “Sue the cat loves Julie the cat and they can mate, but Sam the dog who loves Julie cannot.” Is that constitutional?

Gee, I wish that I could have afforded to attend Harvard Law School!

Protests And Protests

The concept o people protesting is part of the history of America from the days when Boston folks protested against a Tea law. Name the war, and you will discover people who were out in the streets in one form of protest or another. Name the economic crisis and there is evidence of people in the streets demonstrating anger about the difficulties they encounter in life. Name the fight for human rights and Martin Luther King was not the first one, how about the fight for women rights? We Americans take to the streets to fight for this right or another. Such is the American experience. At this moment some people in the city of Baltimore are protesting. A problem in discussing protests is the focus is always upon those who are protesting and much less upon the object of the protest. In this case the object are police who violate the laws they are sworn to uphold.

We invariably wind up studying those who protest and argue why didn’t they employ other forms of displaying their anger. If we truly seek to end protests about police behavior then we have to focus on the training and attitudes of police. This problem will NOT be solved by discussing for the God !knows what time why people are protesting. We have to fix the problem and that means instituting changes in the manner in which police function in this nation. Do that and protests about police behavior will end

Republicans Confuse Me!

There are moments when it is difficult to understand what drives members of the Republican party. At present, Republicans are offering one nutty idea after another in order to prove they will not allow Iran to develop nuclear power for war. Marco and Rand and mike, and Jeb shout about the fear we Americans must have about Iran securing an atomic bomb. The current plan being negotiated would prevent Iran from getting an atomic bomb for at least ten years. But, for some strange reason, these Republicans never utter a word about nations that POSSESS AN ATOMIC BOMB! For the record:

1. Israel has at least 80 atomic bombs.

2. India and Pakistan have atomic bombs.

3. Saudi Arabia is mumbling about getting an atomic bomb

But worse of all, there is one nation whose leaders hate America and have boasted their desire to destroy it, but no Republican is demanding that country should renounce atomic development. NORTH KOREA HAS THE CAPABILITY TO FIRE AN ATOMIS WARHEAD ACROSS THE OCEAN. So, who do Republicans focus upon–IRAN! I have yet to hear a single Republican demand that North Korea recognize the state of Israel? I think Sheldon Adelson should insist that unless North Korea recognizes Israel, then the only course left to the United States is to launch an atomic war against those barbarians!!

It’s Bombing Time

Ever since the dynamic trio of Bush/Cheny/Rumsfeld began wars in the Middle East it has become fashionable for other nations to get into the act of war. How can a nation earn respect in this area of the world unless it is launching planes into the air or dispatching war experts to train and arm soldiers? At this moment in time a whole lot of nations are headed toward Yemen in order to screw up those people. Of course in reality, what used to be termed the nation of YEMEN no longer exists. Just about every group from al-Qaeda to ISIS to Shiites or Sunnis or Saudi Arabia now vying to prove their ability to bomb, kill, destroy and devastate at least one big chunk of Yemen. Here is the scorecard:

1. The Houthis began as an independent Shiite group but their good work attracted the big league Iran team who decided to to make them part of the Iranian network.

2. President Selah who was supported by the USA is no longer on the team.

3. President Hadi who followed Saleh is now the rookie of the year and heading for the big leagues.

4. Saudi Arabia felt left out of sporting events and decided to enter their team. This team can mainly bomb and bomb and bomb. Of course, they have no idea who the hell they are killing except is certain hat hundreds of innocent civilians are dead.

5. The Houthi team hates al-Qaeda. The Saudi team hates al-Qaeda, but for some strange reason the old Yemen government and the new Saudi Arabian bombing team would rather fight one another than go after al-Qaeda which both hate.

How About A Huckabee-Trump Ticket?

Just about every day another person announces that he/she is running for the president of the United States of America. I believe it is time to narrow this field by postulating a partnership between two of the candidates. Frankly, it does’t matter which of the dick heads is the presidential or the vice presidential candidate. We argue strongly for a dynamic ticket of DONALD TRUMP and MIKE HUCKABEE. Why

1. Donald stands for gambling and fornicating, which makes him the balance to the uptight righteous Preacher Mike.

2. The combined knowledge that this duo has about foreign affairs makes it clear there is no conflict as to who runs for President and who takes the second spot.

3. Donald Trump is the leading investigator about where the black dude in the White House really was born. Mike considers that at his birth, God almighty anointed him with the grift of gab.

4. Mike definitely has God on his side while Donald has every gambler in America supporting his candidacy. Wonderful combination of righteousness and reality.

5. No one can beat either of these men in the bullshit competition. They win this contest, hands and butts down!

6. Neither of these men has the faintest idea as to where the Middle East is or where do Iranians actually live. How can they launch a war against a nation about which they know nothing??

It would be wonderful to awake one day knowing the Donald – Mike team ran this nation.

Same Sex Court Questions

Members of the US Supreme Court, having nothing better to do with their time have been posing some rather interesting questions to those arguing for gay marriage.

“What if two men and two women asked for a marriage license?”

‘What if a state required upon asking for a marriage license, you were required to respond to the question as to whether or not you intended to have children.”

I decided to pose my own questions:

1. What if two dogs appeared and requested a marriage license.

2. What if a cat and a dog appeared requesting a marriage license?

3. What if the bodies of a man and a woman were presented to the marriage bureau, would they be issued a marriage license?

4. What about a woman seeking to marry five men?

6. What would happen if a female Supreme Court Justice asked for a marriage license to marry a justice of the opposite sex?

and so on,and so on.

HEADLINES FROM WORLD PRESS

We offer examples of headlines that appeared in the world press alone with our comments.

Norway, Norway Post: “Another Draw Of A Gun”

Another riot.

USA, New York Post: “Get Off My Lawn”

Dammit, this is Texas, stand on my lawn and it is death for you!

India, India Times: “Perfect Storm”

And thousands have died in Nepal!

Sweden, Local: “Children Locked Out Of Daycare”

Heck, they are three, time to get out and earn a living!

Australia, Canberra Times: “”New Gas Discovery”

Right in Central Park, so let’s drill baby, drill!