Monthly Archives: October 2015

Black Lives Matter But Action Needed

Every so often a group emerges in American life which is so convinced they alone understand what must be done to secure the rights of a particular group. Once again, Black Lives Matter–all fifteen of them–interrupted a speech by Hillary Clinton to stand and shout at the tope of their voices: “Black Lives Matter.” Oh, Clinton was speaking about how to change the lives of those in prison, which certainly impacts the lives of black men, but, wha the heck, they continued to words. These individuals are convinced the way to change injustice is to speak WORDS.

Fortunately the audience which was mainly composed of Black Americans, shouted for silence. Eventually,those who spoke, departed. Black Americans want ACTION NOT WORDS. Those in this group have absolutely NO plan other than yapping away. They might remember that silence can be golden, at the appropriate time.

Republican Junior Varsity

Everyone is discussing performances by Trump or Carson or Rubio and the disappearing Jeb Bush, but no one talks about the junior varsity of Republicans who performed prior to the main event. So, in tribute to these valiant fellows who seek, somehow, and in some way, to gain your attention, here goes.

There is a candidate named George Pataki. Actually, if you asked ten New Yorkers who is George Pataki not a single one could remember he once was governor of the state of New York. He is sort of the disappearing type of person. Once seen, forever forgotten. Frankly, it is difficult to recall any words from him, although I DO know he was present.

For some reason, Rick Santorum has abandoned those wonderful sweaters he wore the last time around. He now wears a suit and tie. I do know that the is a Catholic and dislikes anything gay in his life. Frankly, it is difficult to recall anything that he says other than he is against taxes. Then again, which Republican is for them?

Ah,Lindsay Graham, the poor man’s John McCain. He wants ACTION. He wants boots on the ground in Syria, American boots that is. He wants to blast away at those evil ISIS fellows. I believe he is akin to a man leading a crowd only to discover that when he turns around, the crowd has disappeared.

I have a hunch that unless Jeb gets his act together, he might wind up on the junior varsity.

Say, how about Dick Cheney for President!

Republican Debate– Ted Cruz

“OK, those out in the audience, just to get you prepared for the Storm Troopers that a President Hillary Clinton will use to establish a dictatorship– there is a fire in this place, run for your damn lives! Look, I don’t give a damn about government, politics, all I give a damn about is ME and my desire to become President. So, how does one get power in a democracy– very easy and every demagogue has used this ploy since this nation was founded. Cry ‘WOLF, WOLF” at the top of your lungs till everybody is scared shitless.

So, what are my ideas about government? Simple: eliminate each and every government body in this nation, and when I say, EACH that means from local government to Washington D.C. Yes,my friends, I am the only honest voice on this stage. We need some chaos to get things calmed down and the Koch Brothers running the country. I will not be satisfied until the Pledge of Allegiance says: “I pledge allegiance to the Koch brothers and promise not to allow them to be taxed. So,guys, do I come across as the most loyal person to the Koch brothers dynasty??”

Republican Debate–Marco Rubio

“Oh Jeb, I know that I failed to get your permission to skip the Senate today and come to this gathering of the best minds in the Republican party, but as you so eloquently put it the other day, blah, blah, blah. I have a plan. Yes, a comprehensive plan to cut taxes, hell, to end taxes and get this country back on the road to prosperity. So you commentators want the specifics, how about telling the people in this audience why you guys never asked Hillary, Bernie and the three Stooges such questions?

Actually, my plan is simple. Cut taxes for every family and person under the age of 45 and get them spending their tax cut money on gadgets, on cars, on houses. Cut taxes on the wealthy so they would have incentive to create jobs. After all, if you have a spare ten billion, it stands to reason that you will use that money to stimulate the economy. After all, who are the real real Americans–children of immigrants like me who made billions and want to give it back to the American people.

OH, and Jeb Bush was the secret lover of Hillary while she was going through those problems with Bill. So, Jeb, prove me wrong!”

Republican Debate –Chris Christie

“I’m the governor of the state of New Jersey, not some hick state like this Iowa where their idea of a good time is watching cows moo. I’m one important man, I am a fucking GOVERNOR! OK, so there was this stuff about some fucking bridge, who gives a hoot about bridges,the Republican Congress sure doesn’t. Now, I am the most bombastic person on this stage. Just let me get on a stage with Hillary, she will learn not to mess with a New Jersey boy who is connected, and when I say, connected, watch out for the bullets.

Sorry, Donald, I was the one who made Atlantic City a spot on the map. What’s that you say, it used to be important and now is a spot. Bullshit, no one talks to someone from New Jersey like that. Now, if you want to wipe out Hillary, just send me in. Not a fucking one of you knows how to play dirty, New Jersey style.

So, what’s my program? Blast away at Hillary and let a few bodies drop. Let me put it this way, if I said the idiotic things you people spout on this platform, they would send me to the nearest nut house in Jersey City!

Republican Debate –John Kasich

“How in good God’s name did I get stuck on this platform with these ignorant idiots? Tell me, how did I –who HAS balanced budgets, who HAS lowered taxes, who HAS made certain there were jobs and prosperity become involved with these people who believe budgets are prepared by Santa Claus. These imposters for political leaders believe all we have to do is get rid of the IRS and peace and prosperity arrives shortly after. Not a one of these people has actually BALANCED A BUDGET!

I listent to the head nut case with red hair who has never even been in a government leadership position mouthing off about sending 10,000,000 people back to Mexico. Doesn’t the moron understand you just got rid of 10,000,000 customers who purchase goods and those who do the dirty jobs of society. Who the hell is going to pick fruit–Donald Trump’s kids!

We have become a party of low brained morons and we really think we can beat Hillary Clinton. Of course, no taxes, no government, no highways, no hospitals, no nothing!”

Republican Debate–Rand Paul

“OK, so I’m on the end, think about that word, the ‘end,’ it simply means I am at the end of being a non-person and soon will be a shining light to the Republican party. OK, so Donald does not want to look in my direction, that is because I HAVE a direction and it is to the right of any right winger. So, what do I want? I have a plan, a real right plan in which everyone fills in one card and sends it to the IRS. No more government in Syria or Iraq or wherever. We bring all the boys –and girls–home to an America in which we have low taxes and high incomes.

I am against GOVERNMENT and I am against any compromise with those who believe in GOVERNMENT. I want an America in which the PEOPLE build highways and hospitals and schools and each person decides how he- or she- wants to do in life. Just imagine an America without ANY GOVERNMENT! Wow!

Now please do not bother me about police or doctors– I am a doctor– just let FREEDOM and INDEPENDENCE ring!

Republican Debate– Carly Fiorina

“First let me point out that I am the best dressed person on this stage. Let me also note that I am the slimmest person on this stage. Just imagine the horror on the face of Hillary Clinton if she walked on a stage and had to confront an attractive slim woman! I might also note that I have been a boss, I have been an executive, some face battles with ISIS, I confronted worse dangers–I had to confront business executives who sat on my Board of Directors. They thought they could push around this woman, girl, did they make a mistake.

What is that question? Why did I get fired? I got fired for doing a fantastic job. What is that about firing 60,000 workers? Well, let me point out that millions are being laid off each day and no one comes after a boss for getting rid of surplus workers, so why me? Heck one of the men who fired me says I was a fantastic executive. What? He said that wealthy people should get more votes. Now,you know the problems I faced with men like that as my boss.

Just imagine the look on Hillary Clinton’s face when she comes in contact with Carly Fiorina? Look,unlike these men I have a plan. We have to unleash the power of men and women to create jobs. We have to end GOVERNMENT and allow each businessman the right to set wages and working conditions so that the economy will boom with high paying jobs for each woman who wants one. And, we have to get that damn daycare stuff off the backs of working women. Stop coddling those seven years olds and get them out in the economy doing some hard work so the can learn the meaning of a work ethic”

Republican Debate–Ben Carson

“You want to know about my tax plan? OK, it is a tax plan. Let me explain this is not just a tax plan, this is a tax plan that works. Let me explain. Everyone from now on only pays !0% of their income. The same for someone making $40,000 as the person making $40,000,000. See, everyone is equal under my plan. No more loopholes, no more deductions, everyone is equal. That is what America is always about.Since the end of slavery every person is this country is equal. Look at me, a poor black boy who became a famous doctor and now a famous political leader.So, since we are all equal,why should we force those with wealth to pay more? That is income inequality!

Now, you ask me about the Middle East. To prove I have knowledge about the Middle East, let me make clear it is IN the Middle East.There are people who live in the Middle East who are something called, Muslims. As you know this means they are not Christians and have not accepted our savior Jesus Christ. Unlike we Christians, these Muslim people are always killing and torturing people. It is in their religion. It is too bad they are not Christians who hate war and violence.

I pray every day. I love God. I go to church, all the qualifications that are needed to become President of the United States. And, I promise on the first day in office to end the worst horror since slavery-Obamacare!!”

Republican Debate–Donald Trump

“Look, I’m a very successful guy, I made millions, no billions, I can negotiate anything with anybody. Like the wall we are going to build that will be a thousand miles long, and tall, I mean, TALL, so no little Hispanic family can go over it or crawl under it. And, the Mexican government is going to pay the full price, and I mean FULL PRICE!

I got plans, I mean plans, they are so fantastic that I sometimes wonder how I could have thought them up. Now, hold on, no questions about my plans because I don’t want those people to know what will happen to those people. Believe me, these are on fantastic group of plans.

Now, how do I get this economy running? Easy, I got a plan. We will cut taxes for all, we will close each and every government loophole,and,voila, the problem is solved.

I love these people up here on the platform. In fact, some of you folks will get a job in my government.Of course, I will eliminate all government officials except me, but there are folks I need to clean up the office.

So,if you want a guy with PLANS then just look in my direction!”