Author Archives: Fred Stopsky

HEADLINES FROM WORLD PRESS

We offer samples of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

Denmark, Copenhagen Post: “I Can Teach You Dirty Stuff”

I am a member of the Republican Party.

Canada, Toronto Star: “Catholic Schools On Strike”

Holy Mary! What next? God!

new Zealand, New Zealand Star: “Pedestrian Hurt By Train”

So, is the train OK?

Turkey, Hurriyet: “You’re Not Worth My Shoe”

My pants, yes, not my shoe!

USA, aol: “Life Is Still Beautiful”

We have nasty congressional elections this fall, but just wait to the presidential one in 2016!

Russia, Moscow Times: “Convoy Vanishes On Road To Ukraine”

I trust it was led by President Putin.

Sweden, Local: “Football Therapy For Homeless”

Hungry? Throw some footballs!

Let’s Automate Congress

The American people have accepted an increase in automation within their daily lives. We play with technology, we are served by technology and the thought of no technology in our lives would send some into suicide land. But, for some strange reason, technology has yet to impact the world of Congress. Congress folk work about three days each week, they take liberal vacations and just about cease to work by the beginning of August since it is election time. Anyone working in the real world would be fired for such behavior. Perhaps, it is time to place Congress on some sort of schedule. Of course, those failing to meet standards would confront the issue of being laid off.

1. Congress folk would be required to work a 40 hour week. Fund raising would be in addition to the forty hours. For each hour less than 40 in Congress, the person would be given a ten percent reduction in pay.

2. A new law would replace ten percent of Congressmen and replace them with robots. It certainly does not take an Einstein mind to be a Congressman. Certainly robots could be created who study a proposed law and vote for logical aspects of such a law.

3. For each dollar raised by a Congressman, fifty cents on the dollar would go to a charity named by a robot.

4. By the year 2020, fifty percent of Congress would be composed of Robots programmed to vote for laws that benefit American society rather than for those which benefit the upper one percent of society.

Of course, I fear that a robot programmed to be logical, when confronted by bills written by our Congressmen might have a robot nervous breakdown that burns up all mechanical elements of the mind.

Take your pick –a robot or John Boehner!

A Plan For Iraq That Might Work

American planes are blasting away at ISIL or ISIS –depending upon how you wish to term this group of murderers. We bomb, they retreat–for the moment. As these bombs fall, back in Baghdad, politicians are throwing verbal bombs and threats at one another. Sunnis are still furious at the anti-Sunni behavior of just departed Nuri al-Maliki, and many Shiites are worried the new government might offer Sunnis too many promises of equal treatment. Meanwhile, Kurds in northern Iraq just want heavier weapons with which to fight ISIL. IN a nutshell, no group in Iraq is happy with the present arrangement of power. Perhaps, it is time to offer groups in Iraq another version of government.

1. Divide Iraq into three states.

2. One state would be for Kurds, one for Shiites, and one for Sunnis.

3. Of course, we could create four states which would provide for secular folk disgusted with any form of religion.

4. Then again, we could create five states leaving one for Christians and any other group which feels left out of the current situation–like Yazidis.

5. Of course, we could create a sixth state for American soldiers.

In other words, some form of federal government is necessary for Iraqis–at least for the following fifty years. Perhaps, in 2065, those still in the area might be ready for one nation!

Cops will Be Cops

As we observe black people demanding their right to be treated as human beings rather than as members of a sub class, their is a tendency to blame such actions upon “white racism.” Let me argue that police behavior is common among police because they are in the role of a policeman. Black, white, pink, yellow, tan, whatever, when cops encounter a crowd, their natural tendency as policemen is to become frightened, and blast away. In the summer of 2012 in South Africa, black policemen found themselves confronting striking miners. Police demanded that strikers depart the scene and go home or head straight into the mines. Miners wanted increases in pay and better working conditions so they refused to budge. Within a few moments, police began to blast away and soon 34 miners lay dead on the ground. Police were black and dead bodies were black.

One miner recalled attempting to hold up his arms and surrender only to discover that police were still blasting away. “We became afraid of surrendering because we would be shot.” Such were events in Marikana, South Africa in August, 2012. Unfortunately, a similar event happened in August, only it was August, 2014. In 2012, police were black and in August, 2014 they were white. This suggests the problem is not merely skin color, but training and practices of police–throughout the world!

So, What Is New?

Reports indicate that Hamas and Israel negotiators are not going to reach any agreement. We offer a version as to how each side feels about these negotiations.

HAMAS

Several years ago when Israel invaded our homeland, we killed about ten Israeli soldiers. This time we killed over sixty so there is no doubt of our great victory in this conflict. We forced Israel soldiers to leave Gaza due to our tenacity in refusing to surrender. OK, so a few buildings were blown up. OK, so a few hundred civilians are dead. But, leaders of Hamas are alive and ready for the next fight. We have radicalized hundreds of young men which means there will be even more fighters ready to die fighting for the great cause. Now, you ask, what exactly is “the great cause?” The “great cause” is to inflict a hundred or so deaths upon Israel soldiers. If we kill Israel soldiers then it gives meaning to our lives. We gain pride in killing. We gain power in killing. So, why the heck should we sign any agreement not to cease fighting. Pray tell, what exactly do we do if we cease fighting? On with the fight!

ISRAEL

They killed three of our children and we now have killed hundreds of their children. They killed three Israeli citizens so now we have killed nearly two thousand. They fired missiles that wrecked a few Israel homes, we flattened hundreds of their homes and left thousands without any place to live. We destroyed dozens of tunnels and intend to destroy any we find in order to prevent terrorists from entering our land of peace. We cannot trust any Palestinians, that is our motto of peace. Once again, we taught Hamas the lesson that kill one Israeli and discover that a few hundred Palestinians are dead. Might is right. Might leads to peace. “Never Again” is the lesson from World War II. Never again will Jews go quietly to their deaths!

On with the fight!

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 23 year old mind trapped in an 83 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

I prefer gambling on life than in casinos.

I gaze up from writing and encounter a belly.

In my childhood, it was, “brother, can you spare a dime.” So, what is it today, a buck?

Some open door with look of trepidation.

The only “after life” is death.

As a child I was taught to walk slowly in strange neighborhoods.

I sometimes think God works as a security guard at the city dump.

Women enter store still clutching keys in hand.

As yesterday becomes today so today becomes tomorrow.

At age 83, “next year” is a pleasant dream.

Death is the stranger never to meet.

Who I am today was who I was at age 5.

An Imaginary Conversation With A Tea Party American

Hi, I just wanted to interview a member of the Tea Party about the Ebola problem in Africa.

M: Sir, I assume you are against any and all immigrants?

TP: Absolutely, we Americans should mind our own business and let the rest of the world do as it wishes.

M: Would you send American doctors to Africa to help with the Ebola epidemic?

TP: Hell, no. If Africans get a damn disease, keep it in Africa, it is none of our business.

M: But, hundreds already are dead.

TP: None of my business if Africans die, hell, they die every day.

M: What if it spreads to other parts of the world, to America, for instance?

TP: We need a new wall to prevent illegal diseases from entering our nation.

M: How would a wall help?

TP: If no one from Africa can enter our nation, and they die in Africa, we are safe.

M: Can we really wall ourselves off from diseases that quickly reach all parts of the world?

TP: Spoken like one of them liberal Socialists who wants to take health from Americans by mixing with filthy Africans.

M: Are you saying we should not prevent this disease?

TP: Look at the bottom line. If all Africans die, then we Americans can get their natural resources and become even wealthier. After all, to the rich and powerful god the riches!

Just A Shot In The Dark

I assume those reading this blog are becoming tired of continual stories about shooting. I assume those who are in touch with the social media are now mentally fatigued reading about innocent people shot by those armed with guns. The story has become boring because there is nothing new in these events. It is always the same, some idiot reaches for a gun rather than taking a moment to investigate a situation. Sgt. Easton McDaniels who works in the Loudon County police department in Virginia heard a sound in his garage. It was nighttime, and there was no reason for any noises in his garage. The policeman saw a figure in the darkness.

1. Did he say anything to the figure?

2. Did he issue a warning?

3. Did he fire his gun up in the air?

None of the above. The figure was that of his sixteen year old daughter. She has slipped out of the house to see a friend. So, the policeman blasted away. His daughter is now in a hospital with serious gun shot wounds.

Oh, I forgot to mention, Mr. McDaniels was Standing His Ground!

Michael Brown Saga Continues

There are still fires in Ferguson, Missouri, there are still people wandering its streets with anger and fury at police who have treated American citizens as though they were enemies of the government. Police armed with weapons of war, clad in armor as though going into battle to confront Islamic terrorists are out in force in Ferguson. IN reality, Ferguson has become a war zone right here in the good old USA. There is something horrible at the sight of American police pointing assault weapons at citizens. There is something wrong at the sight of armored cars with machine guns driving around Ferguson with the same attitude held by soldiers who fought in the streets of Baghdad. American police no longer are the friendly guy in blue who places a loving hand on the head of children and offers a pleasant hello to businessmen and mothers. They have become warriors ready for combat.

I recall as a boy in the Bronx, New York being caught stealing comic books. A policeman grabbed me, took me outside, and gave me a hard whack on the head with words of warning” “Do that again you little bastard and I’ll send you up the river to a reformatory.” That was the end of my criminal career. What does Ferguson need?

1. Police dressed in blue, not in armor.

2. Police armed with a pistol and club.

3. Neighborhood police who know all the merchants, visit local schools and are friendly with people in the streets.

4. It would also help if instead of only 3 black cops of the 53 officers, the number was closer to thirty.

Strange But Close Buddies

As we all recall, the United States of America in 1979 decided that Iran, which had just driven out its Shah, was now an enemy state. During the 1980s, America supported the freedom loving nation of Iraq which was ruled by that fighter for freedom, Saddam Hussein. After all, he had invaded Iran which made him now an official member of the club of democracies. A few years have passed and now that Sunni controlled ISIL has gained control over northern Iraq, the idea of working with Iran to halt this terrorist group has become an attractive possibility for America. Both the US and Iran are united in opposing spread of Sunni Islamist terrorism, so what else to do but become allies.

I realize this poses ideological problems for Fox News or Tea Party supporters. After all, Iran is one of the bad guys so how can we ally with these folks? Let me note to those opposing an alliance with Iran that during World War II the US and England were allies of Communist Russia, then led by dictator Joseph Stalin who had murdered at least five million people. As English Prime Minister Winston Churchill, among the most fervent haters of communism put it: “I would form an alliance with the devil if it meant saving my nation!”

Good advice to follow.