Author Archives: Fred Stopsky

Guns For Kids!

We wish to announce the formation of a new Foundation which will employ this blog in order to further its work for peace in the world. The new Guns For Kids Foundation seeks to provide each and every newborn baby with a gift handgun, and upon attainment of their fifth birthday, they will receive a Uzi submachine gun. Guns For Kids believes that each child needs knowledge on how to fire weapons, after all, what if a nine month child is molested? If they had within the crib a child size handgun, then the predator could be shot. Imagine if a kindergarten child has her crayons stolen by some first grade criminal? If she had her own Uzi submachine gun, such criminal behavior would soon end, and the criminal sent to an early grave. Guns For Kids makes no distinction upon race, creed or sex. We seek to arm American children in order to ensure that peace reigns in our beloved nation.

Guns for Kids will also end adult violence toward kids. Tell me I have to be home by 10:00 p.m? Now,that threat allows me to respond with a bullet in the brain. Oh, I checked with Supreme Court Justice Scalia and was informed our Founding Fathers strongly believed in the ideas of Guns for Kids! That is why hey referred to a “well armed Militia.” Everyone knows they wanted youth to become the militia.

We Won! No! We Won!

Every so often my life on planet Earth results in an inability to grasp how the human species thinks and behaves. Today, the Internet displayed photos of Hamas soldiers celebrating with glee as they fired off weapons and shouted, “We Won, We Won!” Huh? At this moment, at least 2100 inhabitants of Gaza are dead, a few thousand are wounded, and thousands of houses are wrecked. So, exactly what did you guys, “win?” Oh, I forgot, they killed about sixty Israel soldiers and three civilians. I gather in their view, 2100 for 64 sort of evens up somehow. Meanwhile in Israel, latest polls reveal fury on the part of a large percent of Jewish Israelis(always remember that 20% of Israel citizens are NOT Jewish) are furious at Prime Minister Netanyahu for failing to “win.” I gather these folks believe to “win” entails the killing of every single Hamas soldier along with any and all young Gaza males who might wind up joining Hamas.

It would be a fascinating study to explore how Jewish Israelis regard the concept of “victory.” I regret to inform them that “victory” only makes sense if war concludes and no one else dies. Where oh where has the Peace Now movement in Israel gone –now that we need it?

Tea Party New Issue!

A recent event on a plane bound from New Jersey to Colorado will undoubtedly become a new rallying cry for members of the Tea Party. Tea Party supporters become incensed when our “rights” are taken away by government. Just consider the denial of rights to Officer Darren Wilson, not being allowed to shoot criminals! A male passenger on this plane was sick and tired of having his knees denied their Constitutional right to extend themselves to the length they desire. Please check your copy of the Constitution which clearly says that not only are we entitled to freedom of speech, freedom of religion, freedom of guns, but also the right for our feet to just stretch out on a plane ride. Male passenger X placed a $20 gadget to his folding table which prevents the person sitting in front from leaning back their chair. For some reason, the woman in front became angry they shouted at one another, and she hurled some water in his face.

The plane was diverted to Chicago and both asked to leave the plane. This is another example of Big Government taking away the right of a man to control movement of HIS body parts. First, Big Government took control of my legs, next they will assume control of my arms, and finally they will assume control over my mind. Stand up for Freedom! We need the Supreme Court to rule that legs are protected by the Constitution!!

Impudent Observer Advice To Women

An important goal of this blog is providing useful information to women. It is clear to observers of the human condition that female members of this planet are in need of advice on how to conduct themselves when on a date. It is important for women to understand their conduct toward males can result in damage to themselves if they fail to meet high standards of proper decorum. So, in hope of assisting our backward thinking female readers, we present some words of advice from English Judge Mary Mowat. Judge Mowat told the Oxford Mail that her years of presiding on cases dealing with rape had led to certain ideas that would prevent such violence against women.

1. The problem with rape cases is it consists of “one person’s word against another, and the burden of evidence is that you have to be sure before you convict.

2. The only way to reduce the act of rape is when woman “stop getting so drunk.” In other words, to prevent a penis penetrating your body is to cease DRINKING!

3. According to Mowat, it is difficult to convict a rapist if women keep on saying, “I can’t remember what I said.” So, women keep sober, write down everything you say to the man during the date, and judges like Mowat can be prepared to urge conviction.

We intend to publish a “rape journal outline” that women can carry with them at all times.

Remember, WRITE DOWN EVERYTHING YOU SAY!

Why Are We Debating?

Every so often, my mind becomes confused at debates that rage within the United States of America over supposedly “important” issues. I understand that in 1492, “scholars”k argued about the length of the Atlantic Ocean or exactly what was in Africa, or what caused most diseases. But, why today are we arguing about:

1. Global climates change. Over 90% of scientists are producing evidence this is happening, so what is the “debate” about?

2. Trickle down economics. There is absolutely NO evidence that reducing taxes on wealthy people leads to economic progress. During the period 1945-1970, there was a huge growth in our economy, and the top tax rate was at least 70% vs today’s 39%. So, what is the argument?

3. American government has always been centered in free enterprise. Absolutely historically in correct. From Alexander Hamilton’s tariff program to assist American business compete against English imports to construction of roads, canals, railroads, giving away free land under the Homestead Act to minimum wage laws, etc.. the Federal government has ALWAYS been involved in the economy.

4. Bombing will lead to defeat of guerrilla forces. How about checking out the Vietnam War?

So, why the heck is there a debate about these issues?

HEADLINES FROM WORLD PRESS

We offer samples of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

Indonesia, Jakarta Post: “Women Make Porn Films In Church”

These days one wonders if they are for the guy up in the sky or the guy who runs the church?

Canada, Toronto Star: “Mayor Quits Over Dog Poop”

Mayors only take shit from Wall Street folk.

France, Connexcion: “No More Love”

These days in France that refers to the President.

Russia,Moscow Times: “Russians Attack Cheese”

There is no doubt the Russian army can handle an enemy like cheese.

Sweden, Local: “Dad Takes Kids To War Zone”

He got clearance from the NRA that it was his second amendment right!

UK< Guardian: “Drunk On Success”

Who else but the mayor of Toronto??

I Think There Is A Cease Fire?

People in Gaza and Israel have spent the past seven weeks engaged in a conflict. This conflict has been going on for over sixty years. Each time the prospect of a peaceful agreement appears possible, the guns begin to fire. This seven week killing rampage began with the horrible murder of three Jewish kids who were hitch hiking. There is NO justification for murdering children. Of course, in response an Israel nut case organized the murder of a Palestinian boy. From that point on, it was bombs, missiles, rockets, tanks blasting away without any regard for who was going to die. Neither side can claim innocence for the death of the innocent. Today, there is supposed to be another cease fire, and Hamas has agreed to work with the Palestinian Authority led by President Mahmoud Abbas. OK, I understand there are those in Israel who will claim there is no reason to trust Hamas. Of course, there are Palestinians who believe there is no prospect of Israel ceasing its murderous campaign.

What must now be done?

1. Israel has to realize that Hamas inside the government of Palestine is the first step toward peace. When asked how he handled enemies, President Lyndon Johnson replied he wanted them inside his tent in order to keep an eye on them.

2. Finally, Israel has to accept the concept of an independent Palestinian state with its capital in east Jerusalem.

3. Finally, Palestinians have to accept reality– refugees are not returning to Israel. HOWEVER, there is no reason they cannot be settled in the West Bank.

FINALLY, both sides have to accept the concept that constant war is NOT a long term foreign policy. Only Peace is a long term foreign policy.

Nine Year Old Fires Uzi And Someone Dies!

There are moments in my life as an American when I have to wonder what has happened to this society? I was raised in the Depression when one fourth of Americans were without jobs and millions went hungry each day.But, for some strange reason few believed they needed a gun to protect themselves. In New York we had the Sullivan Act which restricted gun ownership, and I lived in a slum, not in a middle class neighborhood. A nine year old girl was taken by parents to a firing range during their holiday. A NINE YEAR old girl was handed over to an instructor who would teach her how to fire an UZI submachine gun! A video shows Charles Vacca explaining to the NINE YEAR old how to hold the gun. “We have to keep that held in, otherwise the gun won’t fire.”

A minute later the machine gun fires and Charles Vacca is dead. Who the hell, for what reason would allow their nine year old daughter to get anywhere near a Uzi submachine gun? Her parents should be arrested for child neglect and spend a few months in jail. This is gun ownership gone crazy? What next, teach nine year olds how to throw grenades?

A Letter To Xul

Dear Y

As you know, I have been our planet’s emissary to the backward life forms on this place that is called, Earth(of course in the Xulian language it is known as the “Mysterious Land.” I have now spent over 83 Earth years(22 Xulian years) on this planet which only knows the virtues of war, hate, and violence. I recently received a communication from the Council Of Love which indicates my stay on this planet will shortly come to an end, and I will return home. Let me share with you some characteristics of these life forms.

1. They have an incredible fascination with weapons of destruction. Of course, it has been over ten thousand years since anyone on Xul has ever been in contact with a weapon of anger, as we term them. Here, they revel in firing such weapons -UPON ONE ANOTHER!

2. These “humans” are the most adept life forms on this planet in the act of destroying other life forms. Ironically, they term life forms such as lions or wolves or panthers as “dangerous” even while they slaughter them by the thousands!

3. On this planet it is forbidden to approach a stranger and offer them a kiss, such acts of love are met with angry looks.

4. Humans engage in incredible violence against one another in what they term, “wars.” The other day a group of humans displayed to the entire world destroying a life form!

5. On Earth, a small number of humans hoard incredible amounts of goods while other humans do without enough to survive. They term this concept: CAPITALISM. In other words, unlike our world in which all share equally in goods and services, here on Earth, most lack while a few control over 40% of all goods. If anyone opposes this nonsensical idea, they are termed, as violent creatures seeking to take from those who have.

6. OH, they even have a concept they term, GOD. Supposedly, there is some life form up in the sky who lives forever and controls and directs all planets in the Universe!

Anyway, I so look forward to leaving this mysterious planet and get back to civilization!

Your friend, as always, S.

Russian Flight, Not Fight!

In the world of pseudo dictator of Russia, Vladimir Putin, he is the man fighting for peace in any conflict with Ukraine. According to the Putin Doctrine of foreign policy, his beloved Russia has the right to go anywhere that borders on the border. The Ukraine government claimed they had captured some Russian troops who had wandered into their land. This met with a strong Putin denial which charged the soldiers were on “patrol” inside Russia when seized by Ukraine criminals. Alas, a few hours later, Ukraine television displayed the faces and voices of Russian soldiers who admitted to being captured in another land. However, the Russian Defense Ministry quickly offered an explanation: “The soldiers really did participate in a patrol of a section of the Russian-Ukraine border, crossed it by accident on an unmarked section, and as we understand showed no resistance to the armed forces of Ukraine when they were detained.”

It is now clear to me and the world that President Putin would never send soldiers into a foreign land. The problem is clear: Why doesn’t Ukraine clearly mark its border? If only Ukraine would conduct itself as a nation, there would be no problems! Russian soldiers are compelled to subject themselves to danger and capture because UKRAINE DOES NOT DO ITS JOB! This is simply another act against the people of Russia!