At this moment in time it appears that Donald Trump will not appear at the center podium for tonight’s debate. The issue of the hour is who then goes to center stage? We posed this issue to several Republicans:
Marco Rubio– I believe that I am the youngest candidate and the one Trump has bashed the most. It belongs to me!
Jeb Bush: Hey, wait a second dude, if I open my mouth to breathe Donald shoves his fist down it. My brother was the last Republican president so I deserve center stage.
Rand Paul: Who the fuck cares?
Ben Carson: Does being in the center podium mean I get to answer more questions? Is so, let me remain where I usually stand.
John Kasich: I am the most qualified since I served in Congress, and I am a governor. That places me ahead of anyone else on the stage.
Chris Christie: Folks, I am the center stage since I am the heaviest person in this group. I need something strong to lean on.
Ted Cruz: It would help if the lot of you just left and allowed me to go man vs man with Donald. I won many debates at Harvard and am the smartest person in this group. If intelligence counts, and being able to insult is important, just give me center stage!
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