The past five weeks have been very difficult ones for me. I ordinarily arise in the morning, gaze toward Asia and ponder the words of wisdom coming from our Beloved leader, the Great and All Wise Kim Jong un. But, alas, he has remained silent and thus made our lives ones of fear and anxiety. Imagine living without the guidance of the pudgy little man from North Korea? To those who believe the Kim man is a reincarnation of Jesus Christ, it is bewildering not be able to decide what to eat for breakfast without his advice. So, where or where can he be?
1. Most probably he is in Africa solving the Ebola problem.
2. Or, he is in Iraq, single handedly taking on ISIS.
3. Boko Haram just released some prisoners, chalk this one up to Kim Jong un.
4. Your lottery ticket led to winning a $100, just give thanks to Kim.
5. North Koreans lack food, another example of his wisdom in reducing obesity in his nation.
Kim, my buddy, we miss you. How can my beloved New York Knick basketball team win the NBA crown this year without your presence on the court??