Category Archives: Fred Thompson

Making Monkeys New GOP Goal?

Posted on January 10, 2012 by | Leave a comment

A  national primate center at Oregon University has successfully genetically modified monkeys by fusing cells of up to six embryos. There have been previous efforts to create “knock-off  mice” which enables scientist to work with life forms lacking certain genes. This enables new ventures into discovering how to cure diseases.

We suggest that scientists proceed to even further new ventures such as modifying genes of several Republican leaders in order to create a Republican who understands life in the 21st century. We suggest the genes of Theodore Roosevelt, Wendell Wilkie, Thomas Dewey, Dwight Eisenhower and even the tough minded and ruthless  Richard Nixon. For a slight touch of rhetoric there might be the genes of Ronald Reagan.

Think of how such a candidate would make Barack Obama come across as a monkey!!

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Posted in Barack Obama, Christianity, Conservatives, Education, Fred Thompson, Hilary Clinton, Human Rights, Iraq War, Military, Mitt Romney, Multicultural, Peace, Politics, Republicans, Ron Paul, Rudy Giuliani, Social Justice, United States, US Foreign Policy, War, World News

Perfect Republican Candidate

Posted on December 2, 2011 by | Leave a comment

Our Republican friends are struggling to identify someone who could be their nominee for president of the United States of America. In the spirit of fair play and sorrow for the plight of our dear Republican friends(not that I’d marry one of them), we present requirements for the Perfect Republican Candidate:

1.  Must be born in the USA and has proof of birth.

2.  Must have been a member of the Boy or Girl Scouts and lacks charges against them of sexually molesting any child.

3.  Must know the location of England and China, and, of course, Israel since we need votes.

4.  Must know who Paul Revere warned, the age when one votes, the names of at least three Cabinet Departments, and be aware, at least, that America withdrew its Ambassador and Embassy officials from Iran in 1980

5. Must never ever say any derogatory comment about anyone who earned over $1 million last year.

6. Understands those without jobs in this country are simply lazy.

7.  Must have been married to the same person at least ten years. After that, some margin exists for having a divorce.

8.  Must believe in Jesus Christ as Our Savior even if Jewish.

9. Must be able to recite the 1st Commandment of the Republican Party with eyes closed: “We Will Never Vote For  A Tax Increase.”

10. Must never ever claim to have read two history books –in one year.

11. Must possess at least two  million dollars. Inherited money is OK.

12. Must oppose any form of abortion.

13. Must not only oppose gun control but hunt at least once per month.

14. On penalty of death, must never ever say a kind word about Barack Obama.

15.  Must promise if elected to go to the border with Mexico and wave as illegal immigrants are sent back home.

16. Must have a lot of hair on head.

17.  Must promise if elected to read the Sunday comics to children right after they get home from church.

18.  Must provide proof from at least 100 years that no member of the family ever voted for a Democrat.

19. Must promise to have Muslim children in schools sit in the front of the classroom so they can always be observed.

20. Must promise to support torture of any Muslim caught doing anything.

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Posted in Barack Obama, Christianity, Conservatives, Democrats, Fred Thompson, Gender Issues, George Bush, Human Rights, Iraq War, Liberals, Military, Mitt Romney, Multicultural, Peace, Politics, Religion, Republicans, Ron Paul, Rudy Giuliani, Social Justice, US Foreign Policy, War, World News

VOTE FOR ME!!

Posted on November 29, 2011 by | Leave a comment

After listening to the collection of rather interesting men and women who seek the  Republican nomination for president I am left with the only option of throwing my name into the ring.  Let me  list qualifications that would attract the American people.

 

1.  I know the location of Afghanistan and Iraq on a map of the world.

2.  I put one shoe on at a time.

3.  I am a job creator. I wish to take money from the wealthy and redistribute the money to unemployed people and have them rebuild our infrastructure. That would certainly create jobs.

4.  I am dead set against taxes unless they are on the wealthy so put me down as an anti-tax man.

5.  I believe in God. Of course, the  God I believe in is in the next universe.

6. I am against abortion unless the baby is a Republican, then it is a crap shoot as to whether the child lives.

7. I support the Israel which seeks compromise and peace with Arab people.

8. I  believe terrorists should be sent directly to jail without worrying about a trial and let’s begin with the terrorists on Fox News!

9. When saluting the flag I place my hand over my butt in order to show respect for the assholes in Congress.

10. I stand opposed to immigrants entering our fair land. We must begin to return immigrants to their homeland. Of course, we have a minor problem in rounding up 300,000,000 and sending them back home. But, fair is fair, if one immigrant is sent home so should all immigrants!

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Posted in Asia, Barack Obama, Conservatives, Democrats, Dick Cheney, Don Rumsfeld, Education, Fred Thompson, Gender Issues, Hilary Clinton, Human Rights, Iraq War, Liberals, Military, Mitt Romney, Multicultural, Peace, Politics, Religion, Republicans, Ron Paul, Rudy Giuliani, Social Justice, United States, US Foreign Policy, War, World News

Republicans Want God On Our Side!

Posted on November 28, 2011 by | Leave a comment

If anyone ever doubted that Barack Obama was a stealth Muslim  in our midst, we now have proof that this supposed man of Christianity was never one. Fox News is furious. President Obama sent a Thanksgiving message WITHOUT MENTIONING  GOD! Oh My God, can you imagine speaking at  Thanksgiving and not mentioning our beloved Lord way up on high. I think God is now taking marijuana in order to get the high that he failed to get from that closet Muslim!

We are a Christian nation, well, most are, but then again we have atheists and Jews and Muslims and a lot of others with stranger religions so how come on Thanksgiving the president failed to find time to give thanks to God. Examine the reasons why we should thank God:

1.  We have a collection of outstanding minds running for the Republican nomination for president. In fact, one of them actually knows the location of Afghanistan!

2.  We humans have never witnessed a single year in the history of our race which lacked war, death, famine and hatred. Oh God, thank you so much for making us in your image!

3. And, we have Fox News which will catch a president if he fails to mention God. Of course,  George Bush failed to mention the Lord in his last Thanksgiving message, but he probably had gone back to booze.

 

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Posted in Barack Obama, Catholics, Christianity, Conservatives, Democrats, Dick Cheney, Don Rumsfeld, Fred Thompson, George Bush, Human Rights, Iraq War, Liberals, Military, Mitt Romney, Multicultural, Peace, Politics, Religion, Republicans, Ron Paul, Rudy Giuliani, Social Justice, United States, US Foreign Policy, War, World News

IF REPUBLICANS ALWAYS RAN AMERICA

Posted on September 26, 2011 by | Leave a comment

Have you ever wondered how the story of  America would have unfolded if the current group of Republicans had always run this  country?

1.  We never would have crossed the Mississippi River.

2.  We never would have had free state universities.

3.  Slavery would reign in the South and parts of the West due to State Rights!

4.  The top 1% of wealthy would not own 35% of our wealth but 90%.

5.  Lincoln would have spent his life as a lawyer in Illinois.

6.  German Nazism would dominate Europe.

7.  Theodore Roosevelt in frustration would have become a  Socialist!

8.  There would not be hundreds of bridges and dams and school building built.

9.  Backdoor abortionists would be making lots of money.

10.  We would gaze at the moon and wonder if humans ever would touch down on it.

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Posted in Christianity, Conservatives, Democrats, Dick Cheney, Don Rumsfeld, Education, Fred Thompson, Gender Issues, George Bush, Human Rights, Judaism, Liberals, Military, Mitt Romney, Multicultural, Peace, Politics, Religion, Republicans, Ron Paul, Rudy Giuliani, Social Justice, United States, US Foreign Policy, War, World News

Another Religious Murderer

Posted on September 26, 2011 by | Leave a comment

Just about each week we read another story concerning some believer in religion-Christian, Muslim, Jewish or whoever decides to prove his belief by killing someone.  God forbid we should restrict access to guns because to do so would upset the Big Guy up there who keeps a loaded rifle in case the Devil shows up. Jeremiah Foggle walked into the Great Faith Christian Church and shot two pastors after killing a woman who cared for him.

I do not believe strict gun control will ensure there are no murders in churches, but when society allows people to bring their gun to church, it makes a statement concerning the nature of our society. He was an ill human who apparently never found any solace in church. The least we can do for such individuals is restricting access to weapons of destruction.

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Posted in Christianity, Conservatives, Fred Thompson, Human Rights, Military, Mitt Romney, Multicultural, Politics, Religion, Republicans, Ron Paul, Rudy Giuliani

Flash! Discovery Shakes Republican Party!

Posted on September 11, 2011 by | Leave a comment

A new fossil discovery may well help shake up the current list of who seeks teh Republican nomination for president. The fossil was  partly ape, with a tiny brain,  a chimp sized body and ape-like heels, but it had human lobng thumbs, short fingers and an advanced ankle and a brain beginning to change. We now have conclusive evidence that Republicans are descended from this primitive human who was making the transition from the status of being an ape.

How else can we explain brains that insist by firing millions of workers the end result is to have  more workers? How else  can we explain ending health care for people leads to  better health unless the brain uttering this nonsense belonged to a primitive transition creature who was ending their ape category?

If you look closely at Palin, Bachmann, Perry and others it is clear their brain is more akin to an 8 guinea pig power one.

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Posted in Conservatives, Dick Cheney, Don Rumsfeld, Fred Thompson, George Bush, Human Rights, Mitt Romney, Multicultural, Politics, Religion, Republicans, Ron Paul, Rudy Giuliani, Social Justice, United States, War, World News

ON BEING A REPUBLICAN

Posted on September 10, 2011 by | Leave a comment

Following are criteria for one who seeks to become a member of the Republican Party.

1. One must take  the hypocritical oath.

2. One must be against something that one was previously for.

3. One must promise never to allow a millionaire to pay higher taxes. Middle class, that is OK.

4. One must be for raising debt under Republican presidents, but oppose it under Democratic ones.

5. One must be for protecting sanctity of life of the unborn, but once born, fella, you’re on your own!

6. One must believe firing people creates jobs.

7. One must believe the nation needs leaders who have absolutely no economic or strategic sense.

8. One must believe there is a constitutional right to bring guns into schools, hospitals, churches, police stations and even halls of Congress.

9. One must believe Wall Street people are underpaid when ONLY receiving $150 Billion bonus payments.

10. One must believe the 17,000,000 unemployed are living a life of luxury if they can collect unemployment money.

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Posted in Barack Obama, Conservatives, Dick Cheney, Don Rumsfeld, Fred Thompson, Gender Issues, George Bush, Human Rights, Iraq War, Mitt Romney, Multicultural, Peace, Politics, Religion, Republicans, Ron Paul, Rudy Giuliani, Social Justice, United States, US Foreign Policy, War, World News

ON COMPROMISE

Posted on August 28, 2011 by | Leave a comment

THE ART OF COMPROMISE USED TO BE PRACTICED IN CONGRESS, BUT NOW

1. The person in Congress who seeks to compromise will be consigned by Republicans to the back of the room.

2. Compromise is the art of the possible, that’s why Republicans avoid it. Why do something when you can talk about doing?

3. A great general always alters strategy based on the battle situation. For Tea Party followers what is, is.

4. Wise men compromise, fools go down with the ship.

5. If you oppose compromise, never have children.

6. An intelligent person doubts, even Christ did.

7. I trust in my convictions up to a certain point, then I check reality.

8. Read how JFK handled the Cuba Missile Crisis in 1962, he focused on compromise to avoid nuclear war. Tea Party followers believe in heaven so what’s a little nuclear war between friends?

9. Abraham Lincoln constantly compromised. That’s why Republicans believe he was a Socialist!

10. Marriages are not made in heaven, they exist due to compromise.

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Posted in Barack Obama, Conservatives, Democrats, Fred Thompson, Human Rights, Liberals, Military, Mitt Romney, Multicultural, Peace, Politics, Republicans, Ron Paul, Social Justice, United States, US Foreign Policy, World News

Don’t Blame Me, It’s God’s Fault!

Posted on August 21, 2011 by | Leave a comment

The one certainty about Republican political leaders from the great state of Texas is one is guaranteed their minds have never left the 19th century. Governor Rick Perry is an expert on science. According to him, all this stuff about evolution is “a theory that is out of there” and it has “some gaps in it.” It appears that governors of Texas have a hot line to God and Perry reported back on his latest conversation with the Big Guy up there in the sky.

“God is how we got here. God may have done it in a blink of the eye or he may have done it over a long period of time. I don’t know. But, I know how we got started.” So, which is it, “I don’t know” or “I know how we got started?”

I trust the people of the United States of America do not wish this land to become the laughing stock of the world. Imagine a president of this nation in the year 2012 who does not believe in the theory of evolution?

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Posted in Barack Obama, Christianity, Conservatives, Education, Fred Thompson, Human Rights, Military, Mitt Romney, Multicultural, Peace, Politics, Religion, Republicans, Ron Paul, Social Justice, United States, World News