Category Archives: Fred Thompson

HEADLINES FROM WORLD PRESS

We offer samples of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

New Zealand, New Zealand Herald: “I Thought I Would Die”

Sarah Palin spoke a coherent sentence!

Sweden, Local: “Gender Neutral Toilets”

In the end, shit is shit.

South Africa, Mail & Guardian: “NO Fare Says Uber Taxi”

I guess fair is fair.

Russia, Moscow Times: “Perfect Pancakes”

At least something is perfect in Russia.

Norway, Norway Post: “Winter Holiday Begins”

From now until 2016, the clowns run our Congress.

They’re Watching You!

I, together with millions of Americans was so pleased in 2008 that we could vote for a president who was a former teacher of Constitutional law. After eight years of Bush, Cheney, and Rumsfeld abusing the very basis of our Constitution we looked forward to a new era in which the rule of law would be the normal operating mode of our government. Barack Obama taught CONSTITUTIONAL LAW! Surely, a person with that background would uphold the law and ensure that constitutional rights would be accorded to one and all. And, then meant, also to those in jail. Alas, that was then, and now is now.

A new report from the American Civil Liberties Union identifies a new approach in our government to the issue of individual rights. The Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) is now taking photos of our license plates in order to establish a data base. OH, the DEA is also taking pictures of those who drive the car as well as those who are passengers. I assume this also is part of a data base. Hey, whatever happened to the idea of individual rights. OH, I am certain our Constitutional lawyer will make certain that he is only doing this to protect us against bad people.

Happy New Year For Vladimir??

It was fourteen years ago on New Years eve, 1999, that President Boris Yeltsin of Russia turned over power to a former KGB agent named, Vladimir Putin. Little did he know that his protege had big ideas about what should occur in Russia. Boris still lived in the shadow of Communist Soviet Union and hoped that both Gorbachev and he represented a new spirit for the Russian people that would lead the nation into an era of cooperation with the European Union and the United States. They felt it was time to end the Cold War and initiate an era of Warm feelings and cooperation with the world. Putin arrived, and so did a group of oligarchs who plundered Russia of its riches on the road to wealth and power. Putin worked with these men including many who were his cronies from the old days of the secret police. Since then, a portion of the population has enjoyed the good life, but only a portion, the majority of people have more access to wealth, but each year they fall further and further into poverty and despair.

Gleb Pavlovsky, a political commentator in Russia raises several issues confronting the nation. “The question is not whether Putin stays on, but whether the horse survives. he has no plan.”He promised to protect freedoms of speech, conscience, the media and property. In those early days he assured the people of Russia they would enjoy the “fundamental rights of a civilized society.” Unfortunately, they now enjoy the rights of a totalitarian society. What next for Mother Russia?

New Year Predictions

We offer predictions as to what will occur in the year 2015.

1. We predict many priests in the Catholic Church will pray for the demise of Pope Francis and his silly ideas of reform.

2. We predict that another plane will disappear into the Java Sea triangle.

3. We predict that a new law will be passed in Congress to assure we have pipe lines to carry needed oil.

4. We predict that President Obama will run out of pens due to signing so many repeal laws.

5. We predict that Ted Cruz will not offer his ideas to any Ivy League audience.

6. We predict that Vladimir Putin will wrestle a bear in order to handle Russia’s financial crisis.

7. We predict the New York Knicks WILL win another basketball game.

8. We predict some college kid will announce a new computer idea that will sweep the nation, if not the world.

9. We predict that Republicans will debate whether or not Congress should actually meet this year.

10. We predict that Jeb Bush will announce he desires brother George to be his running mate in 2016.

11. We predict that Elizabeth Warren will emerge as the only Democrat with balls!

12. We predict that somewhere in America another black boy will be shot by police because he sold sodas without a permit.

ARM AMERICA FOR FREEDOM!

We are pleased to announce the formation of an Arm America For Freedom organization which is dedicated to the proposition that if every American was armed, violence in the world would end. Just imagine if President Obama appeared on TV with two guns on his belt and an Uzi machine gun pointing at members of the media. Finally, ISIS would recognize that America is out to get them. Imagine if EVERY American had a BAR or a assault rifle with him at work or at home. Does anyone really think that ISIS would dare launch an attack upon such well armed people? I propose the following steps to prevent terrorists from gaining a foothold in our land:

1. It is obvious that ISIS members wear beards. Solution-lock up every tan skinned man who wears a beard.

2. Blow up every plane flying in the Middle East. OH, a few innocent people might get killed, but we would prevent ISIS from taking over planes.

3. That great American, Governor Rick Perry, has pointed out that terrorists are crossing over from Mexico. Why not man the walls along the border with machine guns and blast away at anyone approaching our borders. Rick is never wrong, so go along with his police of prevention.

4. America needs some dramatic event to put ISIS on the defense. We propose that President Obama along with Senator John McCain should lead a cavalry charge in Iraq against ISIS forces. Can you just see the sword in the hand of President Obama as he raises it, points toward ISIS defenses, and shouts, CHARGE! They will scatter to the winds!

Don’t Mess With The Man!

A major problem in Russia, Ukraine and the world is President Putin’s complete and absolute control over all aspects of the government. He has no institution or people able to check this power, and thus the bully man so enjoys speaking to the world in tones that insist it is either his way or no way. Speaking before a pro-Kremlin youth camp, the boss made clear, that “Russia is a one of the leading nuclear powers,” and “it is best not to mess with us.” In any language these words are a threat, but hopefully, not a promise. Putin has decided what will take place in Ukraine, and it that government either agrees with his decision or it faces the prospect of more Russian soldiers entering the country.

What then for the world?

1. The European Union and the United States of America must announce a complete boycott of the purchase of goods from Russia as well as the sale of such products.

2. The United States must admittedly announce it will sell oil to European nations as well as gas.

3. Both the US and the European Union must cease allowing planes to fly to Russia or allow passengers from that country to land in their countries.

4. Leaders of China, the US, and the European Union must meet with an open agenda. Make clear to Putin that no force will be employed against Russia, but that country will become an isolated entity in the world. No sanctions will be lifted if Russia forces its way into eastern Ukraine.

Make Putin explain economic chaos to his business community!

A Letter To Xul

Dear Y

As you know, I have been our planet’s emissary to the backward life forms on this place that is called, Earth(of course in the Xulian language it is known as the “Mysterious Land.” I have now spent over 83 Earth years(22 Xulian years) on this planet which only knows the virtues of war, hate, and violence. I recently received a communication from the Council Of Love which indicates my stay on this planet will shortly come to an end, and I will return home. Let me share with you some characteristics of these life forms.

1. They have an incredible fascination with weapons of destruction. Of course, it has been over ten thousand years since anyone on Xul has ever been in contact with a weapon of anger, as we term them. Here, they revel in firing such weapons -UPON ONE ANOTHER!

2. These “humans” are the most adept life forms on this planet in the act of destroying other life forms. Ironically, they term life forms such as lions or wolves or panthers as “dangerous” even while they slaughter them by the thousands!

3. On this planet it is forbidden to approach a stranger and offer them a kiss, such acts of love are met with angry looks.

4. Humans engage in incredible violence against one another in what they term, “wars.” The other day a group of humans displayed to the entire world destroying a life form!

5. On Earth, a small number of humans hoard incredible amounts of goods while other humans do without enough to survive. They term this concept: CAPITALISM. In other words, unlike our world in which all share equally in goods and services, here on Earth, most lack while a few control over 40% of all goods. If anyone opposes this nonsensical idea, they are termed, as violent creatures seeking to take from those who have.

6. OH, they even have a concept they term, GOD. Supposedly, there is some life form up in the sky who lives forever and controls and directs all planets in the Universe!

Anyway, I so look forward to leaving this mysterious planet and get back to civilization!

Your friend, as always, S.

HEADLINES FROM WORLD PRESS

We offer samples of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

Russia, Moscow Times: “Prison Guards Get Lounge Chairs”

To relax after beating the hell out of prisoners, I assume.

Norway, Norway Post: “Helicopter Pilot Gives Girl Lift To Beach”

How about a lift to the waves for the helicopter?

Sweden, Local: “Swedish Teachers Feel Not Valued”

By students or parents is the question?

New Zealand, New Zealand Herald: “Boy Wins Battle For Log House”

Congratulations, Daniel Boone.

Denmark, Copenhagen Post: “God Goes To A Festival”

Leave it to we humans to use this as one more excuse for murder.

USA, aol: “Surely Common Sense”

If you cut taxes and less money comes to the government, your deficit rises.

Turkey, Hurriyet: “Man Kills Wife In Broad Daylight”

That’s what happens when a woman goes out without a hijab?

HEADLINES FROM WORLD PRESS

Each day we offer samples of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

Norway, Norway Post:  Beware Household Cat”

I give this warning two meows.

USA, NY Post:  “He’s A Basket Case”

That is no way to talk about Clint Eastwood.

Australia, Sydney Morning Herald:  “Banned For Gay Cure”

He must be one sad dude.

New Zealand, New Zealand Herald:  “Bit Fat Zero”

Romney’s speech results?

Turkey, Hurriyet:  “Aims For Sky”

And, if his name is Paul Ryan, he strikes out.

France, Connexion:  “Students Learn Ethics”

That assumes their teachers are ethical people.

Finland, Sanomat:  “What Can Be Done?

In most cases, duck!

 

First Prostitute?

Bettina Wulff is the wife of former German president Christian Wulff. He married her in his fifties but she was only 36 and quite a good looking woman. Naturally, anytime a beautiful young woman marries an old fart, rumor mills will begin twirling into operation. Within months stories appeared that she once worked as an “escort” or was engaged in you-know-what.

Her husband had to resign due to charges of misuse of money which only accelerated stories about his wife. After all, he is old, she is young and gorgeous, add one plus one and the only conclusion is that he needed money to keep her being married to him.

I have no idea as to whether she was or is or never was. But, it becomes tiresome having such stories and rumors spread because an older man marries a younger beautiful woman. This is written by an 82 year old man who never ceases gazing fondly at  gorgeous women.  And, I don’t have to spend a penny!

By the way how come no one writes stories about the prostitutes in Congress who daily sell their souls?