Category Archives: 2008 Elections

Bernie, Shining Knight Of Hour

Since the death of Robert Kennedy in 1968, the Democratic Party has witnessed a series of men who come along with talk about how they will dramatically change the United States. George McGovern spoke that way and won a single state in his fight against Richard Nixon.  Who still remembers Mike Dukakis, another man who spoke words of  a revolution. Today, we have Bernie Sanders who is going to end student debt, provide universal medical care,  dramatically  raise taxes on the wealthy, and provide good jobs to all Americans.

First, Bernie has to win an election. Second, he has to create  a liberal Congress, and then…. Here are the reasons Bernie Sanders can NOT win the presidency 2016:

1. A Democratic victory requires gaining a high black voter turnout. He will  not inspire black Americans.

2. A Democratic victory requires a high Hispanic turnout, he will not achieve that goal.

3. A Democratic victory requires a  high female turnout, he will gain a majority, but the numbers will not be sufficient.

Reality, Hillary Clinton is still the best bet for victory.

Who Is On First?

I closely followed the Iowa primary and heard countless hours of analysis regarding who was most probably the winner of the contest. I finally grasped that  180,000 Christian white people were the representatives of the American people. But, it was close to midnight that the fun began as Republicans boasted about their success. It suddenly dawned upon me that to be a Republican politician is to inhabit parallel universe.

Ordinarily in American sports the team which gets the most points or scores the most runs or has the greater number of  touchdowns is the winner. However, in the Republican universe, it goes somewhat differently.

1.  Donald Trump who came in second declared himself the winner because he claimed most experts initially believed he would wind up down at the bottom. So, coming in second means that he confounded the experts and now is champion.

2. Marco Rubio declared himself the winner because he came in third. As everyone knows that third place contestant is automatically declared the winner.

3. Ben Carson came in fourth and headed home to get a change of clothes. He may well be the silent man, but at least he knows when he is smelling up the joint.

Anyway, here is our thanks to Mr.O’Malley who decided to head home to  Maryland and cease seeking the golden sword to lead the nation.

This Land Is There Land

I have always enjoyed hearing the beautiful Woody Guthrie song, “This land is your  land,” which expresses the belief of all Americans that the land on which Theodore Roosevelt created our system of NATIONAL parks to preserve the beauty of our precious natural resources. OH, he was a Republican and for some reason believed that the national beauty could not be turned over to business corporations whose only desire was for money.

The Oregon group of allegedly “true Americans”came to Oregon to foster their belief that those with money  had first claim on what belonged to the entire nation. They arrived with their guns and now one of them is dead because of his desire to seize what belongs to ALL Americans–our precious heritage of wood and streams and plains not being torn to  pieces by oil rigs or coal mines.

Modern Republicans have completely forgot that it was under a REPUBLICAN that the national heritage was preserved. And, Socialists had nothing to do with this  goal.

Inside Ted Cruz’s Brain

This intrepid investigator has been give permission by Ted Cruz, the man  who intends to save America from jihadist terrorists to spend a few moments inside his brain. This is a first for the American media, to actually get the inside scoop about Ted Cruz. First, let me note that it is not dark inside the brain because God  Himself shines brightly in order to ensure that Ted is awake and ready for action.

Of course, an important site in the brain is the Godless pit. Inside the pit are those who reject Our Lord, and spend their time wallowing in fire and hell. Naturally, there is a path leading to Mexico for those who entered the brain without a legal document. The New York island is surrounded by sharks to prevent any of those god forsaken people to cross over into Iowa land where dwell the righteous folk.

There is a high wall inside the brain to prevent any subversive ideas to enter since Ted does not want his family to come in contact with foreign elements that might disturb their peace of mind. There is also a shooting gallery where anyone can blast away at pictures of Satan’s messenger, Hillary Clinton. And, if you have a spare dime just pull the lever on the ducking  stool on which sits the evil one–Donald Trump!

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 25 year old mind trapped in an 85 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

For some reason, CNN never went to the headquarters of Ben Carson. Oh,is he still alive?

I wonder what Carly Fiorina was thinking last night.

Ted  Cruz is the poor man’s Senator Joseph McCarthy without the joie de vive of the anti-Communist demagogue.

Marco Rubio must talk and talk and talk about his immigrant father and mother.

Take away  his arms and Bernie Sanders would not utter a word.

Donald was sort of quiet last night. Not the old give em hell!

So, some white Christians want to decide who is our next president!

Hillary Clinton Thanks God

If your name is Hillary Clinton then you just had a close call. Imagine getting clobbered by an old Socialist guy in the state of Iowa. So, what should she be saying?

“My name is Hillary Clinton and I have been around for the past twenty five years and hope to be around for the next decade. So, what do I need at this time? I need a clear ten point program which outlines specific ways to alter this society. I need to make young people understand this election is not only for the president, but also for the composition of the Supreme Court for the next two decades. Two more conservative judges means an end to abortion rights, it further makes  possible denying the right to vote to millions and it certainly makes impossible any action by a president to assist immigrants. So vote this  year, vote in 2018 and stop dreaming an old white guy  who waves his arms and promises goodies for all would actually get elected president of the United States of America!”

Bernie Sanders Thanks Youth

Bernie Sander was all Bernie Sanders wishing the young people OK for their support. He promised to make America great again and once again listed a fantastic liberal program that, if passed, would make this one wonderful nation. How about a few words to those young people who made his performance prove terrific?

“Ok, thanks for your hard work. Now remember, it is your group that did not come out to vote in 2010 or 2012 which guaranteed that Republicans would control Congress and block passage of any decent laws. Yes, most of you will probably vote in 2016, but then again, most of you will NOT vote in 2018 which means that Republicans will decide which laws get passed. Sorry, I can rant and rave about evil rich people, but those people have control because you guys do NOT vote in Congressional elections nor for governor. So, get off your asses and make certain from now on you vote in each and every election.”

Donald Trump Gives Thanks

God Bless you Iowa for the great victory I achieved tonight by coming in second. When I began this campaign months ago, I was warned, and I mean, warned, not to enter the Iowa primary by some so-called “experts” who said it is doubtful if I could get a hundred votes. Well, look at the record, I had over TWENTY THOUSAND VOTES! Man, tonight was a great, and I mean a great victory for me the  underdog.  l love you Iowa, and heck I might even become a farmer and farm, or do whatever is done on a  farm.

I am a great gambler, and I took the  biggest gamble of my life. I entered the Iowa primary,and I refused to take part in the comedy show they term, the Republican Debate. And, I won the gamble. I came in second. Just imagine, told I would not get a hundred votes and I got TWENTY THOUSAND! I’m smart, I’m brilliant. I’m not like the stupid people on that I have been standing on a stage with for months.

So, I won this primary,and now on to New Hamphire.

Marco Gives Thanks

I want to make clear that unlike someone who did not fare well tonight, I was not born to a millionaire but have made my money strictly bey catering to millionaires and not one is a relative. I give thanks to God up above who took time out from wandering around billions of planets to come to Iowa and ensure that I won the election by coming in third. Not many politicians can win by finishing third, but remember that my folks were poor immigrants.

Yes, my dad had to work hard all his life after he came here as an immigrant. Now you know why I oppose any immigrants from coming to America. We need to protect the immigrants here from the immigrants seeking to come here. God,I worked hard, I got a student loan and worked damn hard to get money to pay it off from some nice decent Christian businessmen who only wanted my support to aid them become richer businessmen.

I am a fighter. I will fight the terrorism of Hillary Clinton who  personally murdered four decent Americans at Benghazi. My sources tell me the real secret of Hillary Clinton is that she was at BENGHAZI during the actual attack, and the  attack was led by her ISIS lover, some Muslim named Mohammed. Go to my web         site if you want further information.

So, we won in Iowa by coming in third and now on to New Hampshire where I intend to come in fourth and gain another victory!

Ted Cruz Gives Thanks

First, I want each and every person in this hall to get on your knees and give thanks to our Lord up above for giving us this great victory. Oh, and as you pray there will be some of my representatives picking up any loose change that fell from your pockets.  Now, I have some important news. Prior to coming to this group I received a call from our Lord and Creator. He wants to make clear that his son, Jesus, made sort of a mistake by making comment concerning the difficulty of wealthy folks getting into Heaven. We have first rate super deluxe apartments set aside for those with the bucks to pay for them.

Second, I want to make clear that as we head for New Hampshire, there is only one Republican who  our Lord has anointed with his blessing, and you are currently listening to him. God is on our side as we set off for war against the infidels led by Donald Trump and his secret mistress–Hillary Clinton! If you love God, remember to part with your money and give it to God’s messenger. NO! Not that Jesus guy–ME!