Category Archives: Ron Paul

Who Wants To Go To Heaven?

Once upon  a time, a few months ago, there was a teacher named Reince Priebus who had a class of 16 boys and one girl. One day, he told the students about the wonders of this wonderful place high up in the sky which is called, Republican Heaven. He asked how many of them wanted to go to  Heaven. A red haired boy named Donald shot his hand into the air and said: “Me, only Me, because I am the most intelligent in this class, and I know the most and when I get to heaven I’m going to build the largest, the biggest wall so that no one will ever again get in without an OK from me.”

Benny Carson said:”that’s OK with me as long as you buy the story of my life.”

Carly said: “Nobody, and I mean no guy is getting there before me. I’m the smartest in this whole  class of dumb bells.”

Little Marco said: “If I get to heaven will it mean that I will never again sweat so much?”

Jeb said: “Well, Donald, my big brother already got there and he said that I’m going to be the next one to get into Heaven, so there!”

Randy Paul said: “Heaven, schmeaven, who cares. Frankly, I really don’t want to go with Donald.”

Johnny Kasich said: “Can I get lots of food to eat in Heaven?”

Mikey Huckabee said: “I promise to pray for  all in this class to get to heaven. God almighty already said I’m going.”

Teddie said: “There is no way I’m going to heaven if Donald goes!”

What the rest said, no one cares about.

Donald Is The King!

There is no question that Donald Trump is now king of the hill. Imagine being loud mouth bully who has been yelling for the past seven months without uttering a single specific plan how to do anything, and winding up beating what goes for the cream of the Republican party? So, let the Donald man speak his mind.

“I beat the whole pack of losers, I am now the BOSS and when Donald Trump says he is the BOSS that means BOSS of the whole damn country. I love you  Hoosiers for giving me this victory. Heck, I even know that it is called a “hoop” not a “ring” like the immigrant from Canada says. I love everyone, and when I get through making America Great Again, we will be the Greatest Country in the whole fucking world.

Now, how do I make America Great Again? Easy, I just send our Navy over to China, fire a few shots, and they will shit in their pants. Then, we’ll get our jobs back again. Just imagine, great jobs making clothes, making things and everyone in America who wants a job making clothes will have one! And, that ISIS, once they know Donald Trump is in charge, they will shit in their pants and come begging me not to blast them to heaven or wherever they go.

And, the WALL, the biggest Wall since they built one in China.And, then we’ll load up the whole eleven million and send them back to Mexico. Think about it, eleven new Great Jobs for we Americans! Talk about being a job creator, in one moment, I just created eleven million new Great Jobs working as a nanny, picking fruit, or handling meat in meat packing places.

Don’t thank God, thank ME!

Bernie Burns Hillary In Indiana

The Bernie wagon is rolling along and it captured a majority in the state of Indiana.The most fascinating aspect of the Bernie parade and that of Donald Trump is that both men have captured the anger and frustration of many Americans who believe their lives are being destroyed by Big Business, wealthy men, the Establishment and  only those with nice sounding words can make America Great Again.

Bernie wants to create “millions of jobs” by rebuilding our  infrastructure. I assume these jobs require those seeking physical labor work. I have  a funny feeling that most college graduates who cheer for Bernie do not want to engage in building bridges or highways.

Bernie wants to create a single payer health care system. This sort of requires disbanding the Affordable Care Act and its 18,000,000 members and establishing a new system. Details on how to do this will shortly be provided.

I love Bernie. I really agree with his long term goals. But, there is not exactly a clear explanation as to how to reach those goals. ‘Details later’ is not an answer, more in the nature of a hope.

So, Who Killed John Kennedy?

Critics of Donald Trump may claim that he sometimes goes too far in his comments, but the Donald man really scored a hit when, after decades of conflict and turmoil as to who killed John F. Kennedy, we now–finally– know the answer. Donald demonstrated his brilliance by spotting a man in a picture who is with Lee Harvey Oswald and that man is none other than— THE FATHER OF TED CRUZ! As Donald notes: “his father was spotted with Lew Oswald. I mean what was he doing with Lee Harvey Oswald shortly before the shooting?”

OK, we now know the REAL killer was none other than Rafael Cruz. However, let me bring to the attention of Americans there was an Hispanic flying with Japanese aviators on December 7, 1941 and you just take ONE guess as to who that illegal Hispanic immigrant was!!

Carly Fiorina On God

We allow the woman from California who was fired by Hewlett Packard and lost a Senate race in California to explain why Ted Cruz should be the next president.

“I just love you wonderful, so wonderful people here in Indiana, I mean, you are just wonderful Hoosiers, and no other state in this great nation can say they are Hoosiers. I know God at this very moment is looking down from up high and thinking what a wonderful group of people are the Hoosiers of Indiana. As Ted said the  other day, who but you Hoosiers can put the basketball through the ring and score some points? Well, God is with us at this very moment, He so loves you Hoosiers because each and every one is behind the wonderful, beautiful, Ted Cruz who is God’s anointed son even though he might come from Canada.

I just love Ted, and Heidi and their two wonderful, darling daughters for whom I sing a lullaby each night. God loves those children, God loves, YES, God not only loves Ted, but He wants Ted to be the next president of this God loving nation! So,let’s now bow our heads and say a prayer for Ted, for Heidi,for the two sweet, lovely girls and let’s make them happy tonight. And, remember, a vote for Ted is a vote for God, and a vote for God is a blow against ISIS. So, join me in this one last prayer for God, oops, I meant,Ted!”

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 25 year old mind trapped in an 85  year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

A great opener for the Republican convention is a good old fashioned food fight between Donald and Ted. John can be the referee.

I just do not believe ANY of the Founding Fathers would support any candidate today.

Heidi Cruz says Ted is an immigrant but she never said from which country.

My TV went dead on me, just another example of Chinese and Hispanics taking things from we God fearing Americans.

After listening to college graduates running for president, I am left wondering exactly what is being taught in college?

Do you ever wonder what John Kasich really thinks about anything?

How about substituting political conventions for a beauty pageant  and having candidates display their bodies? Makes a lot more sense than displaying their minds.

Let’s Play Cards

Donald Trump is sick and tried of the bitch from New York playing that woman card. He is angry because  this broad has stacked the deck so he cannot get a wining hand in the fame of women  Poker. So, we decided to present some card games that might interest Donald:

A game of Trump You which consists of Donald having all the cards and you  only get those he decides.

“Ace  in the Hole.” I get all the votes of those with Giant Pricks  and you get all those with small peckers.

He wants to play with a Royal Flush which consists of playing with a game of Poker with Jeb Bush and Rick Perry, guess who always loses?

Of course, Hillary wants to play the game of  who has the Women Card by pushing for higher pay for women, child care and paid maternity  leave.

Of course no one wants to play Poker with Ben Carson since he has the most difficult poker hand to decipher.

A popular game for Donald is throwing the deck of cards on the floor so Chris Christie can get on his knees and pick them up.

Carly And Ted

Ted Cruz is having some problems attracting women to his side. Why this is so is among the mysteries of this presidential campaign. Perhaps, just perhaps, it might stem from opposing equal pay for women, opposing child care, opposing, maternity leave or for mocking those who support such anti-female laws. In an effort to reach out to women, Ted has decided that when he  runs for president this fall, his running mate will be Carly Fiorina. You know, the woman who was fired by Hewlett Packard because she ran the company into debt.

Anyway, Carly has written a song which shows her fighting spirit for all Americans.

There once was a gal named Carly

Who liberals, she made sorry,

She was fiery and tough

One speech of hers was enough

So cast your ballot for nonsense

For publicly she displays ignorance

Which Is always her best response.

No Guns For Mentally Disabled?

There is a movement even among some in the NRA to deny the right for a gun to those with records of mental disability. Frankly, I believe this is now confirmation the NRA has been captured by liberals seeking to over turn the US Constitution. If people are to be denied their 2nd Amendment right, how about?

1. Those who want to have America go to war. If they really want a war they must volunteer to fight if they want the right to have a gun.

2. Any cop  who can’t hit a standing target by a shot to the leg. No gun!

3. Any and all convicted for at  least one for a  drug offense. No gun!

4. Hillary Clinton because she wants to take OUR guns from us!

5. Anyone who confesses they will vote for Donald Trump since this is clear evidence of a mental disability.

6. Bernie Sanders, since he does not know how to shoot straight on the issue of guns for all.

7. John Kasich since he is so busy balancing budgets he has no time for gun practice out on the range.

So, Where Do I Piss?

I do understand that in an era in which student debt has reached astronomical heights and people have a difficult time getting a good job,  for some strange reason only a few dedicated Americans have their eyes focused on the real issue that confronts America–where do people piss–and shit? Seriously, imagine if no one had an opportunity each day to piss and shit, how we would have one angry and disgruntled society.

In a South Carolina high school a transgender student who has been peeing in the boy’s toilet was informed that he had to use the girl’s restroom or that of the school nurse. Well, this young man  or woman or whoever returned to the boy’s restroom and now is on suspension. I assume this student has now learned the number one rule of school–behave stupidly if a teacher asks you to. And, remember that for many Americans the real issue is–pissing and shitting.