I am pleased to report to the American people they can sleep comfortably tonight in their beds since the FBI has crushed a notorious gang of Russian spies in New York City. Federal agents were monitoring the dynamic trio of Russian spies for over two years. These evil men were engaged in the task of recruiting female college students who somehow would lead them to secrets known only to college females. The Russians were seeking information about US sanctions and our efforts to develop alternative energy resources. I have a hunch these guys could have simply gone on Facebook and been a bit more successful in recruiting informants. After all, Islamic terrorists employ this method of recruitment of the gullible. But, then again, who would give up the opportunity to spend years in New York City with all expenses covered andk wander into good restaurants pursuing information that could just as easily been obtained online?
Anyway, the FBI did arrest Evgeny Buryakov, and he is safely in jail. For some reason the FBI allowed the other two spies to escape back to Russia. If I was Vladimir Putin, I would send the two of them off to Siberia, provide them with computers and demand they finally get some reliable information!