Category Archives: Rudy Giuliani

New Debate Rules For Republicans

Members of the Republican party who are running for the office of president are very upset. They simply do not like the manner in which moderators pose questions. They do not want any pictures of any of them sweating. They want the room temperature to be set at 67 degrees.They insist on the right to censor graphics shown during the debate. They are really upset when the camera shows no one at his or her podium. And, most of all they do not like any “gotcha questions”

In the interest of fairness, we suggest some new rules:

1. Ben Carson should only be posed questions dealing with heart surgery. After all, he lacks any knowledge of anything other than that topic.

2. Jeb Bush should be allowed to have brother George take his place using the name,Jeb.

3. Carly should only be asked questions dealing with how one goes about laying off people. Allow her to play to her strength.

4. Donald should be allowed to discuss his ventures into the world of real estate.

5. Ted Cruz should be allowed to discuss his childhood in Canada.

6. I think Marco Rubio should be allowed to discuss why Cuban refugees were worthy immigrants unlike those from Mexico.

7. John Kasich should only be posed questions dealing with his life in Ohio.

And, at the beginning and end of the debate they all should be allowed to sing: “Onward Christian Soldiers.”

Shoot The Bad Guys

Paul Armand Rafer is a grandfather and he was asked by his daughter to take care of a five year old grandchild. For some unexplained reason, grandpa decided to take his five year old granddaughter on a walk in the desert. Don’t ask me why,but where else would you take a young child but into the desert. Grandpa got hungry and thirsty and just needed a cool drink, so he plopped down his darling grandchild–under a tree– and handed her a .45 caliber handgun with instructions: “shoot any bad guy.” Fortunately, mom realized her idiot father was with the kid and found her.

Oh, grandpa insisted that he was hungry, needed a cheeseburger with a beer and why couldn’t the kid take care of herself? After all, she did have a loaded gun cocked to fire! What the hell is happening to kids these days?

My question to grandpa: Exactly how does one know who are the bad guys?

Israel Lives By The Sword

Benny Grantz, and Israel official uttered some words of advice to the world, “we will always live by our sword.” No question, this is the operating mode of the current Israel government. Always show them Palestinians and the world that if you mess with an Israeli, you are fooling around with some person who is ready to blast away. Why Israel sense of toughness? If a people for over 2,000 years have resided among Gentiles in a position of powerlessness, there is an intense need to make certain those Gentiles and those Muslims know the old days are gone, and in the new days, we Jews don’t take anything from anybody!

This attitude meets emotional needs for Jews, but as an operating political or diplomatic approach, it fits the attitude of Vladimir Putin,not that of a peacemaker. The time has now come when Jews no longer have to prove they are the toughest guys on the block. How about a little bit of Martin Luther King?

A Russian Plane Fell To The Ground

A Russian plane took off from an airport in Egypt and within twenty minutes reported problems and soon disintegrated and plunged to the ground and soon 222 people were dead. We offer several possible explanations for this event.

1. Putin planned the tragedy so he could blame someone or some group for economic problems inside Russia.

2. The Israel secret service, the Mossad,organized this event –if anything bad occurs in the world, just blame the Jews! Works for centuries.

3. Egyptian dictator General Sisi has an economic mess. Shift focus from his inept rule to some tragedy and at least no one is blaming this upon him.

4. An ISIS suicide bomber had the bombs on his underwear.

5. According to Ben Carson: “I really don’t know too much about Egypt. Is that the place with pyramids? And,this ISIS stuff, is this company seeking someone to push their products?”

6. Given the state of the Russian economy,there is nothing strange about anything built in Russia to disintegrate.

Anyway, innocent people are dead.

The Mets Are Went Down To Defeat

I do realize this blog is supposed to focus upon world events and issues of importance to humankind. Well, for some of us,baseball and football and basketball are a lot more important than who ISIS killed today.The New York Mets were killed, no, murdered, by their incompetence and the pitchers of the Kansas City Royals. These are not joyous days in the city of New York. First,we had to deal with idiots from Texas or the states of the South who continue electing men and women who would fail getting through elementary school, and now we have to endure a bunch of hicks from Kansas City doing harm to our lives.

Let me explain the reasons for the Mets losing the World Series:

1, Barack Obama caused the Ebola scare and since he finished with that one he decided to scare New Yorkers. Remember, he comes from Hawaii, wherever that place is.

2. Ted Cruz never got a chance to filibuster the umps and that’s why the Mets lost.

3. John Boehner cried for the Kansas City Royals,but not one tear for the Mets!

4. Met players were forced to listen to Ben Carson explaining his tax program and they just fell asleep. Unfortunately,they kept on sleeping on the baseball field.

5. Donald Trump is from New York.The Met Hispanic players were afraid he would send them back to the Dominican Republic or Mexico or wherever and they were afraid to get hits against the gringoes.

The Plane That Blew Up

As you recall, last year the pro-Russian Ukrainians shot down a passenger plane and insisted the plane just sort of broke up in the air. Well,two days ago a Russian plane flying from Egypt somehow broke up in mid-air and came crashing to the ground with 222 passengers. ISIS now insists that it was the one responsible for the tragedy. Perhaps, they are piggy backing on a tragedy, perhaps, they were responsible, what are the implications?

1. Just about every group in the Middle East now has weapons,not necessarily to create mass destruction,but they sure as heck can shoot down planes.

2. Israel Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu insists a firm fist will crush the spirit of Palestinians. Sorry, Bibi, it is simply a matter of time before just about any Palestinian group can gain possession of such weapons and shoot down Israel passenger planes. NO strong fist can prevent soft fists from gaining control of weapons to down planes.

3. We are entering a new era in which such weapons can appear in any nation and be used for destructive purposes.

4. Peace is the ONLY solution to this potential nightmare.

Republican Junior Varsity

Everyone is discussing performances by Trump or Carson or Rubio and the disappearing Jeb Bush, but no one talks about the junior varsity of Republicans who performed prior to the main event. So, in tribute to these valiant fellows who seek, somehow, and in some way, to gain your attention, here goes.

There is a candidate named George Pataki. Actually, if you asked ten New Yorkers who is George Pataki not a single one could remember he once was governor of the state of New York. He is sort of the disappearing type of person. Once seen, forever forgotten. Frankly, it is difficult to recall any words from him, although I DO know he was present.

For some reason, Rick Santorum has abandoned those wonderful sweaters he wore the last time around. He now wears a suit and tie. I do know that the is a Catholic and dislikes anything gay in his life. Frankly, it is difficult to recall anything that he says other than he is against taxes. Then again, which Republican is for them?

Ah,Lindsay Graham, the poor man’s John McCain. He wants ACTION. He wants boots on the ground in Syria, American boots that is. He wants to blast away at those evil ISIS fellows. I believe he is akin to a man leading a crowd only to discover that when he turns around, the crowd has disappeared.

I have a hunch that unless Jeb gets his act together, he might wind up on the junior varsity.

Say, how about Dick Cheney for President!

Republican Debate–Rand Paul

“OK, so I’m on the end, think about that word, the ‘end,’ it simply means I am at the end of being a non-person and soon will be a shining light to the Republican party. OK, so Donald does not want to look in my direction, that is because I HAVE a direction and it is to the right of any right winger. So, what do I want? I have a plan, a real right plan in which everyone fills in one card and sends it to the IRS. No more government in Syria or Iraq or wherever. We bring all the boys –and girls–home to an America in which we have low taxes and high incomes.

I am against GOVERNMENT and I am against any compromise with those who believe in GOVERNMENT. I want an America in which the PEOPLE build highways and hospitals and schools and each person decides how he- or she- wants to do in life. Just imagine an America without ANY GOVERNMENT! Wow!

Now please do not bother me about police or doctors– I am a doctor– just let FREEDOM and INDEPENDENCE ring!

Greenland Is Melting

There is no question the piece of ice known as Greenland is in the process of melting. We therefore decided to ask some leading non-scientists to offer some insight into this problem.

Marco Rubio: “I’m no scientist, but I don’t think there is any possibility this Greenland place will become another Cuba.So,what is the problem?”

Donald Trump: “Great. I will have my men check it out and guarantee I will build a casino there. I intend to send illegal Hispanic immigrants to Greenland and let them work in my casino.

Ben Carson: “Excuse me, this Greenland place, is that near Mississippi? I promise to take a vacation in this nice green place.”

Ted Cruz: “Who the fuck gives a damn about some frozen piece of crap? Why not just blast away with a couple of atomic bombs and speed up the process?”

Jeb Bush: “I’ll first have to check with George to make certain he had nothing to do with this.”

Carly Fiorina: “Fire every daman Eskimo and cut expenses.”


We offer examples of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

France, Connexion: “Cows Hit Train”

We are pleased to announce there were no serious injuries to the train.

Canada,Toronto Star: “A Terrible Decade”

Would you believe a terrible year?

Russia, Moscow Times: “Dog Kills Owner With Rifle”

I gather the dog belonged to the NRA so it is OK.

China, China Daily: “Purpose Of Tests”

To make kids fail?

Japan, Japan Times: “Return To Peace Talks”

In the Middle East, a story without an end.