Category Archives: Rudy Giuliani

CONFESSIONS OF A GAY LOVER

I was shocked that Eugene Delguadi in the Weekly Standard found out about the plot to transform American schools into playgrounds for homosexual acts. How did this man find out about the secret plan. Our plan arose from an international meeting of gay lovers which took place in a dingy apartment in Harlem, New York. Among those present were Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Michele Bachmann and, of course, Sarah Palin. They had a good time laughing at how they have fooled right wingers with rants about evil gays and lesbians even while they are leaders of these perverted folk.

Rich Santorum never ceases complaining about gays destroying the institution of marriage by getting married. Isn’t it nefarious for gays and lesbians to marry in order to destroy the concept of family? The Weekly Standard email to subscribers accurately described the “homosexual lobby”program to “indoctrinate students with a perverted vision for a homosexual America.”

Rick and Rick and Newt and Mitt and Sarah and Michele and Herman know that by attacking gays and lesbians they are able to disguise their own sexual orientations. Please don’t get me wrong, I am not saying either of those people are gay or lesbian, but they certainly come across as gay about attacking gays.

Anyway, once we end the gay nightmare, it means there will be jobs for all–all except for gays and lesbians.

Five Easy Ways To Make Certain Of Suicide

At this time of the year when suicide rates are among the highest for the year, we thought it would be very Christian or Jewish or Muslim to offer advice on how to encourage people to decide they prefer committing suicide to enduring another moment on this planet.

1. Lock a person in a room tied to a chair and have the TV set playing Republican debates and their replays for a solid 31 days without stop.

2. Arrange a lunch date with Michele Bachmann who spends the time explaining why she should be president of the USA– or president of the Girl Scouts.

3. Arrange a dinner date with Donald Trump and listen to him talk about any subject for 1 minute before going into a verbal essay on why he should be president of the United States.

4. Be compelled to read the speeches of Newt Gingrich for a twenty hour time period.

5.  Listen to Herman Cain explaining how firing people creates more jobs.

Oh, if none of the above work, spend a year in Iraq or Afghanistan saving Muslims from terrorists.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 21 year old mind trapped in an 81 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

He swaggers into coffee shop with attractive woman on arm. Stranger,  she does not swagger.

In my youth, we gazed at breasts, today men gaze at butts.

Man on cell phone informs other person  of his ideas via hand signals.

Some talk to God, I talk to my heart.

Republicans denounce European “socialism” while copying European “austerity!”

Children love pointing at anything and anyone.

The longest journey we can take is the one on the road to our heart.

To dwell on and on about past injuries is never to leave the hospital.

I alone decide what hurts me, you can not.

Some have obesity of mind as well as of body.

One can lie to others, but never to self.

March only to the drummer in your heart.

Cheer leader of yesterday is chubby leader of today.

Haunting poem from elementary school. “I think that I shall never see a poem as lovely as a tree.” Joyce Kilmer

Romney would  shake hands with the Devil if it got him a vote.

Republican Hot Air Threatens Planet!!

Recent scientific studies dealing with the age of dinosaurs pose serious issues to the United States of America. Huge plant eating dinosaurs produced enough greenhouse gas by breaking wind to generate enormous quantities of methane. Scientists believe “microbes living in Sauropod dinosaurs could have produced enough methane to have an important effect on Mesozoic climate. An estimated 472 million tons of hot air were generated by dinosaurs.

We are concerned since the United States has millions of Republicans and members of the Tea Party. If you think dinosaurs produced a lot of hot air, just imagine the enormous quantities produced by Republicans and Tea Party folk? Imagine the daily out put of Newt Gingrich alone! We believe there is need for new legislation that will limit hot air comments by any Republican seeking office.

PROTECT THE PLANET, LIMIT REPUBLICAN HOT AIR EMISSION!!!

Bully To You! And Bully To Rudy!

Charges and claims are being uttered  by supporters of both Barack Obama and Mitt Romney that their opponent was once a bully. Stories have emerged from an old Romney boyhood chum concerning an incident in which Mitt held down a boy and cut off hair. Barack is charged with all sorts of bullying, after all, his skin is black, and we all know that black boys are criminals and bullies.

However, if being a bully is the key to winning the election, we strongly suggest to Republicans that they drop Mitt and take Rudy Giuliani. He definitely should be given the Congressional Medal of Honor for heroism on behalf of bullying the weak and defenseless. Who else but Rudy would go after homeless men who wipe window shields!!

Rupert Murdoch-Unfit Leader?

I the world of Rupert Murdoch his media folk are allowed to smear the names of any opponent and a supposed TV station has permission to suppress information that is not in accord with Republican party efforts to gain power. Rupert appeared before committees of the UK Parliament and offered anything but the truth concerning his News of The World smear sheet. The House of Commons Culture, Media and Sport Committee  concluded “he was not a fit person to exercise the stewardship of a major international company.”

They believe he presented a “misleading account of his involvement and influence with his newspapers.” In  simple English Rupert turned a blind eye” to what was going on and then blamed subordinates for his own misconduct.

In theory, there is  a concept termed “contempt of Parliament” and it could be used against him. The last time it was used was in 1666. Well, Fox News economic ideas are closer to 1666 than to 2012.

New Mitt Romney??

It is fascinating how Mitt Romney is beginning the process of slowly, but carefully, distancing himself from the Mitt Romney who won the Republican nomination  for president. He came out in support of President Obama’s proposal to lower student loan interest payments. Last week while seeking the nomination he opposed this idea which is now his idea. Mitt is not the brightest person in the world, but he is not the dumbest. We can expect in the coming months:

A statement from Mitt that he supports the Dream Act for immigrants and he will boast that since his grandparents lived in Mexico he is simply another Hispanic immigrant.

A statement from Mitt that while he wants a great armed force, we should focus on making the Afghan army  a great armed force and get Americans out of that country.

He will emphasize that he was for women rights before he came out against them but in his heart he was always for women rights.

He will emphasize the Bain company simply wanted to help people find new jobs and the best way to help them get a higher paying job was to fire them.

OK, he had a dog strapped to the top of his car, but unlike Barack Obama he did not eat dogs and grasshoppers. In fact, some of his best friends are dogs and grasshoppers.

HEADLINES FROM THE WORLD PRESS

Each day we offer samples of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

UK, Independent:  ”Blame Parents Say School Inspectors”

After all, they are the ones producing children!

South Africa, Argus:  ”No More Bull”

No more bull in Congress would mean no more Republicans.

Portugal, Portugal News:  ”Homeless Given Homes”

Now, all they need is some food in those homes.

Finland, Sanomat:  ”Match Fixing”

Do you mean to tell me it is wrong to fix an athletic event?

Netherlands,Dutch News:  ”Reduce Forced Marriages”

Sometime we might consider reducing desired marriages.

Denmark, Copenhagen Post:  ”Reveal Opposition Economic Plan”

If it comes from Republicans the plan says, ‘REDUCE TAXES ON WEALTHY!

Russia, Moscow Times:  ”Arrested In Marijuana Case”

Let’s high five this one.

HEADLINES FROM THE WORLD PRESS

Each day we offer samples of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

USA, NY News:  ”Dolan Leaves For Rome To Become A Cardinal”

I would think he would leave for St. Louis.

Australia, Sydney Morning Herald:  ”Romney Squeaks By In Maine”

He hopes as Maine goes so goes the nation.

USA, Army Times:  ”Troops Get Monday Off”

Good, now other nations know which day of the week to attack USA.

Canada, Toronto Star:  ”Don’t  Touch A  Thing”

Just eat the stuff.

Sweden, Local:  ”One In Five Swedes Believes In Ghosts”

Boo, boo, boo, boo, boo.

France, Connexion:  ”Broadband For All”

That is mighty broad minded of you.

UK, Guardian:  ”Bury Men Organizers”

Just let the women know where to dig them up.

Don’t Ape My Behavior!

I frequently find myself perturbed by behaviors of those seeking the Republican nomination for president. After all, listening to a speech on any topic by the likes of Palin or Bachmann or Perry or Santorum makes one wonder if we all come from the same genetic pool. Scientists now offer an explanation of men like Gingrich or Romney. Apparently, gorillas split apart from our human ancestors and chimps about 10,000,000 years ago and about 4,000,000 years ago we humans and chimps went off on our own. We Cro-Magnons share 15% of our genome with Gorillas.

Do you now understand the Republican presidential campaign? A group who contains more than the 15% gorilla genomes has entered the Republican Party and they want to take over the human race. The problem is not gorillas rising against humans it is these half breeds who are part gorilla and part Human who seek to destroy the human race.

How else can one explain the idiotic babble of Republican candidates? Do you understand their comments are actually gorilla talk and that is why they sound as though speaking gibberish.