Category Archives: Dart & Laurel of the Week

Each week we award a Laurel to a person or group who has brought joy to the world. We will also award Darts to the schmucks that bring us down.

Facebook For Soldiers?

Marine Sgt. Gary  Stein has a Facebook page called: “Armed Forces Tea Party  Patriots” which he insists will assist the expansion of free speech for members of the armed forces. He  initially said  as a Marine he would not follow orders from President Obama and then shifted grounds to say he would not follow “unlawful orders.”  According to Pentagon directives, military personnel in uniform can’t sponsor a political club, participate in TV programs that include advocating for a political party or speaking at political events while dressed in a uniform. Sgt. Stein was told by superiors that he couldn’t use military computers to engage in his political action ideas.

According to Stein, “just because I’m a Marine doesn’t mean I don’t have free speech or can’t say my personal opinion about the president or   othe public official just liek anybody else.” We suspect Sgt. Stein  lacks a grasp as to the reason for restrictions on the part of members of the military to become involved in  political affairs. The USA is among the few nations in the world which has never witnessed an attempt by the military to  take over the government. Sorry, if you join the  armed forces and are in uniform, then you do NOT have the right to say whatever is on your mind.

 

A Rose By Any Other Name Is Love!

Officials of the government of Malaysia had nothing better to do with their time this week than to worry about Valentine’s Day. Oh, there might be a few hungry people, some children who could use help in order to complete school, but let’s face it, the number one priority in February for those men is the celebration of a day on which people exchange loving feelings. Deputy Prime Minister Yassin warned that any loving on this day is “not suitable” for those of the Muslim religion. In fact, he has launched “Mind The Valentine Day’s Trap.” After all, what if people kissed and loved and avoided conflict on this day, how could we get them stirred up to hate Israel on the next day?

This is simply foolishness. In fact, Yassin wants hotel rooms checked out in order to find a man and woman making love in them. Love has no boundaries, love is found as an important aspect of human existence in ALL religions. Knock it off, Malaysia, a rose by any other name is still a rose.

HEADLINES FROM WORLD PRESS

Each day we offer a sample of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments:

UK,Guardian: “Rent A Friend Service Thrives”
Rent an enemy would boom!

South Africa, Argus: “Island Bunnies Face The Bullet”
Now, if they were Playboy Bunnies,…..

Australia, Brisbane Times: “Man Loses Daughter IN Card Draw”
I told you to hold!

Sweden, The Local: “Swedes Ignore Church Election”
I believe they are waiting for instructions from up above.

Denmark, Copenhagen Post: “Fewer Sick Calls In Recession”
But, a lot more sick talk in the media.

Finland, Sanomat: “Urban Rats Served At Zoo”
What if you put them IN the zoo, then what!

UK, The Independent: “Ministers Reveal Huge School Cuts”
Well, we have to pay for business bailouts some way!

South Africa, Mail & Guardian: “Kenya Rainmaker Called In On Climate Change”
Does he make house calls for economic collapses?

Australia, Sydney Morning Herald: “Bear Attacks Tourists At Bus Station”
Everyone should know bears are first to board.

PLACES NOT TO BE FOUND

Following are places it is best never to be found inhabiting.

Inside the brain of Sarah Palin where oxygen slowly disappears as she used the one megabite of her brain power.

A meeting of Obama economic advisers who are discussing how to create jobs.

In a room with Prime Minister Putin who just received news someone publicly disagreed with him.

In a West Bank Israeli settlement listening to a Rabbi explain how the Torah sanctions burning Arab olive groves because it is in accordance with Jewish social justice.

In a room with John McCain as he prepares to write his memoirs of the 2008 presidential race.

At a meeting of Fox News called to discuss how to report real news.

At a fruit stand which just received news the last batch of fresh strawberries is gone.

Waiting on line at an unemployment center.

Any place in Mugabe Zimbabwe.

On an island in the Pacific which soon will be swept away by the ocean.

COMMENTS YOU NEVER WILL HEAR

Following are comments that will never be heard in public.

Prime Minister Putin: I dream KGB, I think KGB, I am KGB.

Alex Rodriguez: I am a spoiled brat but my salary is $25 million per year, what’s yours?

Justice David Souter: Just think, never again listening to the mind of Clarence Thomas!

Fidel Castro: If all the hot air I have spoken to the Cuban people for fifty years was gathered it would solve our energy problem for years.

Avigdor Lieberman: I hate Arabs, I hate Arabs, I hate Arabs.

President Zardari: I just do what the military tells me. So, exactly what is the problem with the Taliban?

Hugo Chavez: Take away my oil money and I am just full of hot air.

Joe Biden: I do have a tendency just to shoot off my mouth, but I mean well.

Michael Jordan: I am the antithesis of Jackie Robinson. It’s money, money, money.

Don Rumsfeld: I was standing for over five hours yesterday and the ACLU never once tried to protect my civil rights

Editorial: Michelle Obama A Budding Eleanor Roosevelt?

Right wing critics are fastening onto Michelle Obama and in order to transform her into some wild eyed un-American woman who doesn’t belong in the White House. I have been fascinated how attacks on her resemble those made about Eleanor Roosevelt. Mrs. Roosevelt was always much more liberal than her husband and openly sided with oppressed people and those facing discrimination. Her famous fight to get Marion Anderson to sing in Washington D.C. aroused the fury of the Daughters of the American Revolution. Who can forget, Franklin Roosevelt’s famous remarks to that group which began, “fellow immigrants?Michelle Obama can look forward to one smear after another in the coming years but I have a hunch she will become the symbol of the Obama presidency as the one who identifies with poor people in this nation.

If is is any consolation to Mrs.Obama, the attacks on Eleanor Roosevelt were ongoing and she was charged with having romances, of being a lesbian, and even having an affair with a Negro man– in those days, that was a serious charge. They will dig up anything and everything about Michelle Obama because she is very bright, a fighter, and a person concerned with issues of social justice. They have already distorted her speech about being proud of her husband and America and transforming it into a plug for Barack while leaving out the rest of the sentence.

So, Michelle, read up on the life of Eleanor Roosevelt and learn what she experienced. I was raised in a working class Jewish family and she, much more than her husband, was the one we thought would help us to deal with discrimination. She was always there as a rock of support for the working class even when her husband had to make compromises. So, Mrs. Obama, become the modern Eleanor Roosevelt and never shut up, never cease fighting for human rights, and just ignore the slanders of hate.

P.S. As a teenager, I saw Eleanor Roosevelt when she came to our high school. She told us to fight for human rights and never give up. The audience of about a thousand teenagers were crying when she finished. As she walked down the aisle I reached out and touched her. I hope some day children will want to touch you for a fleeting moment.

Dart of Week Winner — Robert Persaud

Robert Persaud, Guyana Minister of Agriculture, speaking at a workshop for journalists, urged them to focus reporting on local community issues and stay out of politics. He accused them of being too interested in “sensational stories” rather than concerning themselves with local issues. You know, local issues like which politicians wife wore the prettiest dress or about a bake sale. But, stay away from reporting corruption and incompetence in government, those topics are for corrupters to report, not reporters.

Laurel of the Week – 5/25/2007

To Rudy G., for going an entire week without making a claim he saved New York City from this or that peril. It is truly a wonder anything can go right in New York City without the presence of our former beloved Leader.

Dart of the Week – 5/25/2007

To the people in charge of the U.S. government’s Arabic-language satellite TV network, who broadcast an anti-Israel commentary by a Hezbollah leader because no one at the station was fluent in Arabic.

Laurel of the Week – 5/4/2007

To the nameless 86-year-old woman in Stockholm who was found driving under the influence of alcohol. I think it’s wonderful an 86 year old is still driving, and to be pulled over and judged to be drunk just makes we senior citizens giddy with delight.

P.S. I’m a 77 year-old geezer and I’m looking forward to being pulled over for drinking by the police on my 86th birthday!