Category Archives: Dick Cheney

Advice To Marco Rubio

Marco, me thinks you need a few words of kind advice to prepare for the next global debate.

1. Have you considered speaking with a Mexican accent?

2. I know you are concerned about rape and abortion. How about adding to your argument with some slides of vaginas?

3. I strongly suggest a beard to add some years to your youthful face.

4. Do you have any Hispanic relatives from Cuba who could tell good anti-Castro jokes?

5. You definitely have to devote more time to the story of Dad who arrived without much money. This is definitely a new approach. Just imagine, a refugee who arrived without money and made a success!

6. I never see any photos of your wife and kid, they would help to prove that you are older than 23.

7. I strongly suggest a Mexican band playing good Mexican songs in the background.

Advice To Rand Paul

Rand, there were moments during the Debate when one wondered if you were auditioning for a role as the kid who nobody loves, but beneath the heart is one swell guy. If one is outclassed by the mouth that roars nonstop nonsense, then one is real serious trouble. So, here is some unsolicited advice.

1. Take a shot haircut and come across as a G.I. in search of action.

2. Sorry, Rand but people want to actually hear one single idea from your lips about how to handle terrorism.

3. Have you considered promising Americans that none of their sons will die. Now, as to their daughters…

4. OK, you don’t want an IRS. Just for curiosity, how about informing Americans how their mail is delivered?

5. OPPs, why not urge the end of the Post Office, and from now on, nothing but emails!

6. OK, no taxes, but what about those of us who have cancer? I get it, your Dad will handle all cancer patients,and will not charge a cent.

7. Have you considered free eye exams by the one and only DOCTOR Rand Paul??

Mike Ready For National Guard To End Abortion!

Each day provides further and further evidence that Republicans are now vying as to who can utter the most outrageous comment in the quest to get Tea Party votes. Mike Huckabee wants the religious right to know that once he becomes president, they can forget about the issue of abortion. He is willing to consider any and all resources that could be employed to end the entire practice of abortion. He was asked if he would employ the National Guard to end the terror of abortion. His response:”We will see. If I become President” he will explore using the 5th Amendment, the 14th Amendment to protect the fetus in the womb.

His comments simply reflect the power now being imposed upon Republican candidates to say something wild in order to get on Fox News tonight. Ironically, the theme of Republicans is that Barack Obama wants more and more power. Mike Huckabee makes him come away as a state right president.

American Psychological Association Needs A Shrink!

I spent the good part of my life working with psychologists and even taught courses in psychology. I must admit confusion as to the current conflict within the American Psychological Association over the group’s cooperation with the CIA in torturing people. One group of psychologists argue that it was their patriotic duty to torture. Those affiliated with the Society for Military Psychology are furious at the “politically motivated anti-government and anti-military stance” of those who dislike torture. One part of this association believes that a doctor can not engage in torture. Another part believes it is their patriotic duty to torture.

One might remind believers in torture that the Nuremberg Trials after WWII regarded doctors who aided in the death of millions as war criminals. One might remind those who do not like “anti-government” people that in America we have elections to get rid of the government!

Koch Brothers Meet-And So Do Republicans

Well,the Koch Brothers are holding a gathering of Republicans who want money and their blessing. The Freedom Partners sessions enable Republican seeking the presidency to have a drink or a meal or a suck up session with 450 high powered donors. There are moments when one wonders why we hold elections when it would be simpler to match Democratic donors against Republican donors on a field of battle.The group that can throw the most money the furthest should be declared the winner. To simplify things for Republicans, here is what you should do:

1. Bow politely when you see someone open a wallet.

2. Be prepared to suck up,and when these guys say, “suck up” they mean get your tongue moving.

3. If a Christian donor, wear a cross, if a Jewish one, whip out your Star of David.

4. Always remember that lower taxes is a good line regardless of the question.

5. Never forget to emphasize that you “tell it as it is.”

Who Killed Bin Ladens??

Three members of the bin Laden family died in a mysterious crash. An observer said: “It doesn’t make any sense to me why that advanced plane which can fly by itself, crashed why on a long runway. There is no mystery to this event, and we offer evidence as to what happened.

1. The pilot was listening to a Donald Trump speech and lost control. Wouldn’t you be frightened?

3. Mike Huckabee sent a cloud of hot air that enveloped the plane leading to its crash.

3. Chris Christie was a passenger and his weight led to the demise of the plane.

4. One of Sarah Palin’s shots went astray.

5. George Bush said he would get them and so he did!

Donald Trump Says It Right!

Donald Trump has aroused the interest of many Republicans in New Hampshire. Here is what they say:

Janice: “He says it like it is.”

Andrew: “He’s willing to tell you his opinion.”

Donald: (not the Trump one): “He speaks the truth.”

Nick: “He expressed our sentiments and frustrations.”

Donald: “I am who I am. So there!”

Me: “Without you, Donald, what could I write each day!”

God: “Donald, please stay there, I want to keep my throne.”

Cecil The Tiger

I confess to not being one of those guys who enjoys proving his manhood by blasting away with guns. Me, I was taught by the United States Army that intelligent soldiers avoid combat if it is possible. Heck, once they start shooting in your direction, someone could get hurt. Dr. Walter Palmer is one of those macho macho men who enjoy shooting animals with either a gun or an arrow. He so rises to the sound of combat and is ready and able to take on any unarmed animal in the forest. He claims that it was all a mistake when he initially wounded Cecil the tiger with an arrow and later finished off this terrifying beast with his gun.

How about:

1. NRA sponsored shooting contests in which guys with guns face off at one another and blast away. I will guarantee there is no outpouring of concern for the guy who just got shot. We Americans worry about lions,not people.

2. How about a shoot out between Texans who fear the recent Army maneuvers in Texas was the prelude for a takeover. OK, so Texans, how about taking on the US army and let us find out just how good you Texans are when handling people who can shoot back.

3.Question: when humans confront an animal in battle, on which side is God?

Magic Number Is 16!

It is now official –there are fifteen men and one woman seeking to become president. So, the new magic number for Republicans is: SIXTEEN!

Sixteen blind people stumbling through the maze of political ideas.

Sixteen people who believe they are an expert on foreign policy, domestic policy, policy towards Uganda, and a few other nations they could locate on a map.

Sixteen mouths fuming with anger and hate.

Sixteen people engaged in the contest as to who can shout the loudest.

Sixteen people seeking to outdo the other in expressing hatred of Barack Obama.

Fifteen people seeking out shout Donald Trump.

Sixteen people who could not pass a test on American history.

Solution: Why can’t all sixteen be on the ballot?

Republicans On Iran

Members of the Republican party are very upset because Barack Obama has negotiated with some very, very bad people. Where did this guy get the idea that America should engage in discussions and negotiations with evil leaders? Heck, Representative Ed Royce made clear that when the US negotiates with evil doers, “Iran grows stronger, and we will be weaker to respond.”

1. As I recall, Richard Nixon reached out to Communist China, a nation that had killed over 20,000 American soldiers. Look what happened when Nixon helped China become a great industrial nation!

2. As I recall, St. Ronald Reagan, the great tough president, negotiated nuclear agreements with Russian leader, Mikhail Gorbachev and no Republicans accused him of betraying America, let alone Israel.

3. From the beginning of the Cold War in 1946 until its end in the 1990s, EVERY American president negotiated with Communists who proclaimed their desire to end capitalism!

4. In the real world, not the world of Republicans, nations negotiate with one another.