Category Archives: Don Rumsfeld

Advice To Donald Trump

Donald, I realize that Rudolf Murdoch and the wealthy big shots in the Republican party are out to get you,so let me offer some advice on how to beat these guys.

1. Be a real Populist. Attack, attack, the wealthy in America.

2. Promise if elected to raise taxes on those with wealth in order to pay for rebuilding America.

3. At the next, so called, Debate, look the Murdoch people in the eye and say: “How about asking this group to raise their hand if they are willing to pledge not to take any money from the Koch brothers or any of the other people who will give money if you do their bidding?

4. Promise if elected to end all Student Debt, if we can bail out banks,why not students?

5. Promise if nominated not to run with a vice president in order to show how from day one, you will reduce government expenses.

6. Promise if elected that you will do without a Cabinet, who needs a bunch of ignorant people giving you advice? Are they kidding, someone giving DONALD TRUMP advice!!

7. Promise on day one of your presidency, you will go to Syria and Iraq to personally supervise wiping out these Muslim terrorists.

8. And that wall, instead of a wall you will build a moat five miles deep and supervised by motor boats.

Donald -give them HELL!

Advice To Jeb Bush

Jeb, you need a new narrative about your life,so here it is:

“My real mother was a Jewish seamstress who worked in the slums of New York. She was married to an illegal Mexican farm worker,but they lacked money so my darling mother left me in a basket at the home of some people named Bush. I have no DNA which contains any Bush material, my DNA is solid Jewish and Mexican. My so called brother, George and I had absolutely no close relations when growing up. He was cruel to me and always treated me as not one who belonged to the tradition of being a Bush. So, I was the unwanted brother who endured horrible treatment when growing up. My so called, mother and father, forbid my real mom and dad to see me. That is why from early childhood my sympathies were always with Mexicans. Heck, I even married one. I have always been on the side of those who are poor and persecuted.

Let me put it this way. I am the only COMPASSIONATE REPUBLICAN in this race for the presidency. God bless the poor people of America, I AM your champion!”

Advice To Marco Rubio

Marco, me thinks you need a few words of kind advice to prepare for the next global debate.

1. Have you considered speaking with a Mexican accent?

2. I know you are concerned about rape and abortion. How about adding to your argument with some slides of vaginas?

3. I strongly suggest a beard to add some years to your youthful face.

4. Do you have any Hispanic relatives from Cuba who could tell good anti-Castro jokes?

5. You definitely have to devote more time to the story of Dad who arrived without much money. This is definitely a new approach. Just imagine, a refugee who arrived without money and made a success!

6. I never see any photos of your wife and kid, they would help to prove that you are older than 23.

7. I strongly suggest a Mexican band playing good Mexican songs in the background.

Advice To Rand Paul

Rand, there were moments during the Debate when one wondered if you were auditioning for a role as the kid who nobody loves, but beneath the heart is one swell guy. If one is outclassed by the mouth that roars nonstop nonsense, then one is real serious trouble. So, here is some unsolicited advice.

1. Take a shot haircut and come across as a G.I. in search of action.

2. Sorry, Rand but people want to actually hear one single idea from your lips about how to handle terrorism.

3. Have you considered promising Americans that none of their sons will die. Now, as to their daughters…

4. OK, you don’t want an IRS. Just for curiosity, how about informing Americans how their mail is delivered?

5. OPPs, why not urge the end of the Post Office, and from now on, nothing but emails!

6. OK, no taxes, but what about those of us who have cancer? I get it, your Dad will handle all cancer patients,and will not charge a cent.

7. Have you considered free eye exams by the one and only DOCTOR Rand Paul??

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 24 year old mind trapped in an 84 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

Donald Trump is a blessing to Hillary Clinton

I thing 17 is an unlucky number, how about two dozen candidates?

Mike Huckabee is at war against women.

Republicans insist God is on their side, the question is–which God?

Say,how come Sarah Palin is not in on this hunt for power?

I so miss Herman Cain.

Email is the worst invention for politicians.

American Psychological Association Needs A Shrink!

I spent the good part of my life working with psychologists and even taught courses in psychology. I must admit confusion as to the current conflict within the American Psychological Association over the group’s cooperation with the CIA in torturing people. One group of psychologists argue that it was their patriotic duty to torture. Those affiliated with the Society for Military Psychology are furious at the “politically motivated anti-government and anti-military stance” of those who dislike torture. One part of this association believes that a doctor can not engage in torture. Another part believes it is their patriotic duty to torture.

One might remind believers in torture that the Nuremberg Trials after WWII regarded doctors who aided in the death of millions as war criminals. One might remind those who do not like “anti-government” people that in America we have elections to get rid of the government!

Donald Trump On Wealthy Guys

I may not be the greatest fan of Donald Trump but there is one issue on which he knows more than anyone–HOW RICH FOLKS THINK! It was obvious that he would never in a million years attend any meetings with wealthy donors. Why should he? Let Donald explain what his adversary candidates should grasp about those with wealth.

1. Candidates “are controlled by whoever gave them their money.”

2. Candidates who take money from the wealthy “I will tell you they are totally controlled.”

3. The man who has given gobs of money understands what he gets for that money: “I give to everybody and they do whatever I say.”

From the lips of one who has given and got from politicians!

Koch Brothers Meet-And So Do Republicans

Well,the Koch Brothers are holding a gathering of Republicans who want money and their blessing. The Freedom Partners sessions enable Republican seeking the presidency to have a drink or a meal or a suck up session with 450 high powered donors. There are moments when one wonders why we hold elections when it would be simpler to match Democratic donors against Republican donors on a field of battle.The group that can throw the most money the furthest should be declared the winner. To simplify things for Republicans, here is what you should do:

1. Bow politely when you see someone open a wallet.

2. Be prepared to suck up,and when these guys say, “suck up” they mean get your tongue moving.

3. If a Christian donor, wear a cross, if a Jewish one, whip out your Star of David.

4. Always remember that lower taxes is a good line regardless of the question.

5. Never forget to emphasize that you “tell it as it is.”

Who Killed Bin Ladens??

Three members of the bin Laden family died in a mysterious crash. An observer said: “It doesn’t make any sense to me why that advanced plane which can fly by itself, crashed why on a long runway. There is no mystery to this event, and we offer evidence as to what happened.

1. The pilot was listening to a Donald Trump speech and lost control. Wouldn’t you be frightened?

3. Mike Huckabee sent a cloud of hot air that enveloped the plane leading to its crash.

3. Chris Christie was a passenger and his weight led to the demise of the plane.

4. One of Sarah Palin’s shots went astray.

5. George Bush said he would get them and so he did!

Donald Trump Says It Right!

Donald Trump has aroused the interest of many Republicans in New Hampshire. Here is what they say:

Janice: “He says it like it is.”

Andrew: “He’s willing to tell you his opinion.”

Donald: (not the Trump one): “He speaks the truth.”

Nick: “He expressed our sentiments and frustrations.”

Donald: “I am who I am. So there!”

Me: “Without you, Donald, what could I write each day!”

God: “Donald, please stay there, I want to keep my throne.”