Our beloved Mother Russia is once again under attack by forces of Fascism and all who love our dear country must come to its defense. Sixty years ago the armies of Nazism swept through our land until the brave Russian army put them to flight. Today, the forces of fascism in fascist Ukraine, home of the fascists is once again attempting to destroy our beloved Mother Russia. The Ukranians have organized an army of over 200,000 men to confront our out numbered 1,500,000 Russian troops, but our boys will fight to the last men to defend Mother Russia against the capitalist imperialist Americans who seek to overthrow the Soviet Union. Ooops, I sort of got carried away, after all, I am Vladimir Putin and I used to work for the KGB in the Soviet Union.
What else can anyone who loves the Motherland do but head to Crimea and defend our nation against the hordes of Ukrainians who threaten to sweep over our beloved motherland? First, the fascists took over Kiev and now they intend to put to death anyone who loves the Motherland. Thank God we
Russians have Vladimir Putin, the man who can beat a tiger with his bare hands. I hope that our beloved leader, the all-wise president of our nation challenges this black man from Africa to a duel at high noon.
We Russians might be outnumbered by these Ukranians, but we will triumph in the end!