The sun will now rise in America since our beloved fighter for freedom, Senator Ted Cruz has thrown his mouth into the race for that office. Anyone who loves America has to support this candidacy. Let me explain:
1. Ted Cruz has the enthusiastic support of the Flintstones and most dinosaurs. Finally, someone who will stand up for we Neanderthals!
2. Ted Cruz is either the brother or father of Jesus Christ. We will soon discover which one.
3. Ted is a Christian who loves Jews like Bibi Netanyahu.
4. OK, so John McCain calls him a “wacko.” Just remember John was the one who gave us Sarah Palin!
5. If elected, Ted will send atomic bombs to hit Iran, to hit ISIS in Iraq and Russia. Finally, we can discover what a Russian a-bomb sounds like.
6. Ted loves his wife and kids.
7. Finally, someone who makes Mitt Romney come across as a viable candidate for president.
8. Christians believe the world will end and we all go to heaven. What better man to accomplish that goal than Ted Cruz?
9. If elected, stupidity will reign in America. So, how will this be different than what we have today?