Category Archives: Latin America

Jerks In Oregon Still There?

The ongoing mantra of conservative Republicans is that America must crush with deadly force any and all terrorist groups. In other words, if the government encounters armed terrorists then it is time to employ deadly force and show any and all terrorists that we Americans do  NOT tolerate armed militants in this nation. At this moment, there still remains armed terrorists in the state of Oregon who are holding control of American land at the Malheur Wildlife Refuge.

So, let me get this straight. When two armed terrorists invaded a government building and shot up the place, Donald Trump promised that if he was in charge, any such action would end in this great land. How about allowing Donald Trump to handle this act of terrorism and blast these guys to hell! NO terrorist should be allowed to control any piece of our precious American soil!

Just imagine if this group consisted of Mexican illegal immigrants!

It’s Me, Not You!

Marco Rubio informed his followers that “I did not do well tonight.  It’s not on you, it’s  all on me. And, I promise you that I will do better in the future.”

After leaving the hall, Marco was involved in an automobile accident. He jumped from the car, ran to the other driver and said: “I did not do well tonight, it’s not on you, it’s all my fault. I promise the next time I hit a car I will do better than damaging a headlight. Just watch me.”

Marco then went home and in the middle of the night he awoke his wife. “I did not do well tonight. It’s not on you, honey, it’s all on me. I promise to do better from now on. And, when I say that I will come, I damn well will come!”

Chris Calls In The Godfather

Chris Christie has decided to forgo any further trips out of the great state of New Joisey and will get back to the world of common sense and decency. His first call was to the Godfather who wanted to know how come a good New Joisey boy was beaten up by a bunch of pansies from the other side of the track. He did give Chris a hug  for putting down the little queer from Florida who can’t utter a single fucking sentence without repeating the previous sentence.

Chris assured the boys  that New Joisey  is not to be concerned about the bull shit  coming from the clown of Wall Street, one Donald Trump. “He’s full of hot air, he promises the moon and can’t even deliver Hoboken! Godfather, don’t spend a moment concerned about this bull shit artist, hell, he couldn’t even keep the casinos making money!”

There are reports that Chris will now work on closing down the George Washington Bridge and restricting who is allowed to enter the great state of New Joisey.

Bernie Has Dreams

Bernie won another one and he is all hot to trot down to South Carolina where many await hearing his dream to end income inequality and make poverty disappear from the world.  We can expect for the coming months Bernie to discuss his dreams of how America can once become a land that allows each and every person to get a good solid middle class life.

Actually, it is rather easy to accomplish this goal. Examine how Bernie will do it:

!. Bernie will propose and Congress will unanimously vote to raise the top tax rate to 70% of money over $1,000,000.

2. Bernie will propose and Congress will vote to pass a bill canceling all student debts. Pretty easy, just propose and Congress passes.

3.  Bernie will propose and Congress will pass a law that ends college tuition for all Americans–and any immigrants as well.

4. Bernie will propose and Congress will pass a law that ends stock manipulation and sends directly to jail any businessman who is below the law on any issue.

5. Bernie will propose and Congress will pass a bill ensuring the end of coal use in manufacturing. And, Congress will agree to any international agreements dealing with climate control.

Actually, it is very easy, just  present the bill and Republicans vote for it. Check past history if you doubt me!

Conversation With Ben Carson Alter Ego

I decided to engage in a conversation with the Alter Ego of Ben Carson.

M: So, what’s it like being the Alter Ego of Ben Carson?

AE: Fred, how the hell can I be an alter ego of a guy who just ain’t got much ego in the first place?

M: So, you have some problems?

AE: Problems! For God’s sake the other night he wouldn’t even go out on the stage but hung back watching everyone else walk right past him! This is not only quiet man, but a man in search of who the hell he is.

M: I sort of feel sorry for little Bennie Carson.

AE: Sorry for  him? How about showing some sorrow for me! Damn it,  He just mumbles and stumbles through life and all we hear is about  God and how he is a great surgeon. Hell man, this guy doesn’t even know where the hell Mexico is!

M: So, what’s the future of the real Ben Carson?

AE: For me, I would so love to go back to cutting up bodies. At least when he is cutting bodies the man has some ego!

Conversation With Chris Christie

We decided to discuss the Chris Christie campaign with the candidate himself.

M: So, Governor, what really is your view about Marco Rubio?

C: We in the great state of New Jersey know a punk when we see one. That twerp could not last a single day if he was in a New Jersey town with some tough guys hanging around the corner. He has the backbone of a chocolate eclair!

M: Those are tough words from one tough guy. What’s your take on this Cruz guy?

C: A Bible thumping bag of bull shit if you ask me. Every other statement from this punk is about asking God for His blessing. I guess the next thing he will claim is to be the Pope. Oh, I forgot, he switched from being a Catholic to being  God fearing two gun son of a bitch from Texas!

M: I must ask, what is your take on the Donald man?

C: Just one day, just one day, I would like to see him pull that bull shit when in a room with the Mafia crowd.  Just one look from a Mafia Don and Donald would run from the room while pissing in his pants and never turn back. He is full of hot air and he  thinks bullying Jeb Bush is what he could do with a real Mafia soldier. Just try it, Donald, just try it. We will pick up your body in the nearest river that night!

M: I’m curious, what is your take on Bernie Sanders?

C: Oh, you mean the Jew fella. A nice Jewish man who should spend his time in the park playing chess with the other white haired old guys. Frankly, I have no idea what he really wants, and I doubt that he does.

Conversation With Rubio’s Alter Ego

There is considerable evidence if the debates reveal anything about the candidates that Marco Rubio has a set list of thoughts and words to express. We thought it might be beneficial to discuss him with his alter ego-the other Marco, you know, the reverse Rubio.

M: So, tell me Alter Marco, how would you describe your political thoughts on what must be done in this nation?

AE:  This election is about the Hillary Clinton emails, it is about the great tragedy  in Benghazi, it is about how Hillary Clinton is simply a female version of Barack Obama and they seek to destroy the very fabric of our society.

M:  That sounds very similar to what the real Marco Rubio says at each debate. Are you telling me that his alter ego has the same script?

AE: This election if about Hillary Clinton emails, it is about the tragedy of Benghazi,  it is about the buddy of Barack Obama, and it is about their plan to destroy the very basis of our society.

M: Gee, what you just said is what you just said a few moments ago.

AE: If you check both statements you will find different words used. How can it be a  script if I change some words?

M: So, I gather that you really don’t like any Democrat?

AE: This election is about Hillary emails and the debacle at Benghazi when she allowed over three Americans to die.  Emails and Benghazi are what is most troubling Americans and Marco Rubio will not allow liberals to silence his voice of reason!

Conversation With Heidi Cruz

We decided to discuss the candidacy with the wife of Ted Cruz. After all, if anyone knows the real Ted Cruz it must be Heidi Cruz. She has been with him for several years while the media really only has had major contact with the two gun tough talking sheriff form Texas.

Me: So, tell me Mrs. Cruz, not a single US Senator has given support to your husband, could you explain why?

Heidi: Ted is a family man. He loves me, he loves the children, he loves his family,  he loves his supporters, he loves those who run oil companies, Ted is simply a loving man who also talks honestly.”

M: Well, he sort of pulled one on Ben Carson the night of the Iowa primary,what happened?

H: It was all the fault of CNN for sending incorrect information. My husband believes in the strict interpretation of the Constitution. He also believes in a stick interpretation of what CNN reports. Blame it on that liberal organization which has been telling lies to ruin my husband’s career.

M: But, why the failure to get a single Republican US Senator to support him in this election?

H: Jealousy is the answer. Ted is brighter than the whole pack of these idiots. They are jealous of him, they are jealous of me. How many of them is married to a gorgeous intelligent woman who earns a high salary!

M: I’m curious, is your husband ever wrong?

H: Of course not. He has the blessing of God Almighty, if he is wrong, then you are saying Jesus is wrong!

M: Please make certain that your husband does not get angry at me, I certainly don’t want the Lord throwing thunder bolts in my direction.

Voter’s Guide To A Republican Debate

The Debate season is still going on even though the winds of March are just around the corner. In order to assist readers, we are offering a short guide to any Republican debate. Why worry what is coming next when we can guarantee exactly what candidates will say.

1. We love Hispanics but want them to remain in Mexico.

2. We hate the wealthy but we can not raise their taxes since that would lead to a depression.

3. We will abolish Obamacare and guarantee those without health care complete health care without any government involvement. Tune in sometime in late November about the specific details.

4. We will end student debt. Each and every student who has loans is guaranteed they will repay those loans with the help of rich folks. Each student will contract with a wealthy person who will repay their loan in exchange for 10% of their salary from now on.

5. The days of ISIS are over after we carpet bomb them into oblivion!

6. We love women, in fact we all have moms and sisters and wives to prove it.

7. Send Hillary Clinton to prison and restore America’s honor.

8. Oh, we love Israel and we love Jews. Some of our best friends are Jews.

NOBDY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 25 year old mind trapped in an 85 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

I think that Ben Carson believes ISIS is a skin rash.

With God  at his side, Ted Cruz is heading for the final battle of life.

Looks like John Kasich has taken votes from Jeb Bush in New Hampshire.

We need an early primary in a large state like New York or Illinois or California.

Some follow NBA box scores but in Chicago people follow crime death scores.

The real Republican question is what does Donald Trump do if Marco Rubio gets the nomination., Go quietly into night?

Strange quiet from Vladimir Putin but lots of noise from Russian bombs in Syria.

Am I the only one in America who does not know who or care what the Kardashians are?

Super Bowl is a super time to bash in heads and bodies.

Since 9/11 only 45 Americans died from terrorist attacks in the US, each month in Chicago, 50 die from violence. So, who REALLY is the threat?

Political promises of the spring turn into old dreams after the election.

I think God is on an extended vacation from visiting planet Earth.