Category Archives: Veterans

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 25 year old mind trapped in an 85 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

Donald wants advice, has he considered the clowns in the Ringling Brothers circus?

I wonder which city is next on the LeBron James list to save?

Say, whatever happened to Chris Christie– never hear from him these days?

My advice to Donald, quit waving around those tiny hands.

Gee, I wonder what advice Donald’s daughter, Ivanka  can offer?

Future historians will term America in 2016, the era of ANGER.

I await the next Hillary fuck up.

Trump Family Takes Over

Well, it is now clear that Donald Trump has finally decided to seek the advice of key political analysts and retool his campaign. He got rid of his campaign manager, the notorious Corey Lewandowski who had gained fame pushing around female correspondents. So, who did Donald take advice from in seeking new blood in his campaign? Naturally, another Trump! His daughter Ivanka and her husband are now the key political experts.

Since we believe that Donald needs some assistance, what else can we do, but offer our own advice.

Chris Christie has an approval rating in New Jersey of about 27%. Why not consult him?

The Bush family is sulking, since you want to consult family members, why not ask the elder Bush for some help?

I believe the NRA is the best source of new ideas to get your campaign on the road to success.

LeBron James just made Cleveland a happy place, perhaps, he can save you.

You know, Donald, you constantly do ISIS many favors, perhaps, they can do one for  you with some advice.

Rudy Giuliani once saved America after 9/11, he can easily match you with bullshit, only he has new bullshit.

Then again there are always the Kardashians.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 25 year old mind trapped in an 85 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

Have Republicans considered a ticket of Herman Cain and Ben Sanders? It certainly would give them some color.

Republicans have to face reality–he will never change.

It is not that Americans love guns, it is that SOME nut cases love guns.

I can never understand how anyone who loves hunting needs an assault rifle to kill a deer.

So Marco Rubio is seeking to return as Senator. What next, Jeb becoming governor of Florida?

I do not understand why God so loves Ted Cruz that He speaks with him daily.

There must be some group that Donald has not insulted

 

White Men Speak On Election

Let’s get one thing clear, it is clear that we white guys will support a white man who runs against that crooked  Hillary Clinton. So, I must point out that I am a white man. My pop was a white man. My grandfather was a white man, and we white men have to stand up for white rights. So, what are my criteria for how I will cast my ballot:

1. I want someone who will make we white guys great again.

2. I want someone who protects my right to an AR-15 assault rifle because when I go hunting those damn deer run too damn fast.

3. Frankly, I never met a Muslim that I could trust. Then again, I have never met a Muslim. I can’t always be perfect.

4. I am sick and tired of my wife voting for someone without my permission. We need a president who makes certain women respect their husbands–and boy friends.

5. Yes, I am gay, yes, I enjoy gay moments in my life, but kissing some guy is NOT one of them!

6. I know Hillary Clinton did something with her emails. Frankly, at age 85, I really don’t know what emails are.

7. The last time I had anything to do with some white haired guy who waved his arms was when I visited the looney bin.

8. I want someone who tells it is like it is. Now, hopefully, someone will tell me what “it is” is.

9.Donald tells me that he will bring back those jobs making sweaters and underwear. Actually, I used to work in a steel plant.

10. I love my wife, I  love my daughters, but when it comes to running America, it is a man’s JOB.

Reince Priebus Gathers Party Together

Republican National Chairman organized a gathering of leading Republicans in order to restore hope and glory to the candidacy of their candidate for president, the one and only Donald Trump.

To kick off the event, he invited Herman Cain, a black skinned guy who ran for president four years ago. So, let Herman express his feelings: “This is a wonderful hucky ducky day and I’m here to support the candidacy of that great hucky ducky man, the one and only DONALD TRUMP!

Ben Carson also made an appearance: “Donald, I must confess it was sort of strange being on a stage where you talked all the time. Since, I am one of those creatures who do not like you, let me express my support for your victory, and I’m certain you will purchase a few thousand of my books.”

Rudy Giuliani: “Donald, I love you. But, let’s get one thing clear. I am the only New Yorker who is allowed to bullshit night and day about what a great man I am, after all, I, all by myself saved New York City on 9/11.”

Rand Paul: “I think Donald is an ignorant bombastic moron, but I do support his candidacy for president. God help America.”

George Bush: “Donald, I visited a mosque the day after 9/11 to ensure Americans did not blame Muslims for that event. OK, you are right, there were thousands and thousands of Muslims cheering the disaster. I guess I just missed their noise.

Paul Ryan: “OK,OK, you can now untie my hands and remove the covering over my mouth. I promise to support the most intelligent person running for president in 2016. Do what you wish with that endorsement.”

Ted Cruz: “God revealed to me last night that he wanted Donald to run this year, lose, and guarantee that I will be the candidate in 2020.”

Marco Rubio: “Before I speak I need a bottle of water. I will be back after I satisfy my thirst. Don’t wait forever for me.”

 

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 25 year old mind trapped in an 85 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

Hate has become the food of Republicans, against anyone, at any time.

I feel sorry for Paul Ryan, each day he has to figure out how to resolve his anger toward Donald Trump.

The American people do not suffer from the Zika virus, but the hating virus.

There ARE days when I want to go to Canada.

Frankly, there is no Democrat who would not be hated by Republicans, even Thomas Jefferson.

I have been around for presidential campaigns for 76 years and do not recall anyone referring to their opponent as “Crooked.”

These days ISIS comes across as reasonable folks.

I see pictures of Syrian people fleeing and realize many in America do not regard them as humans fleeing.

Hillary Clinton has aroused incredible hate as one who is crooked, but she has never been charged with any crime.

Poor Bill Clinton, he is losing his once mellow voice.

Bernie one day must wave his arms for the final salute.

I await a miracle, Donald Trump will actually specify what he will do as president.

Whatever happened to Secretary of State John Kerry?

 

Gingrich On Words Of Wisdom

Onc upon a time, a long, long time ago, there was a leader of the Republican party in Congress by the name of Newt Gingrich. Now, unlike the current leaders of the  Republican party, this man had high standards as to upholding values and  respect for human dignity. He blasted Bill Clinton for lacking  respect for women. He wanted Bill to display the  same values as he upheld. So, when his wife was in the hospital for cancer treatment, Newt thought it was the perfect time to inform her that he wanted a divorce.  We will not review other such episodes with women.

So, Newt has a new dream. Oh God, he so desires to run for vice president with that red headed man who sometimes speaks with the wrong words. Newt made clear that Donald’s comments about Judge Curiel were “inexcusable.” BUT, Newt added: “He has learned from the  past two days and he has taken very significant steps away from that and moved toward a more controlled manner.” Gee, Newt, hopefully one day Donald will reach your level of high minded behavior!

Inside Mind Of Bernie Sanders

Hillary Clinton has now clinched the nomination for president on the Democratic ticket so we decided to take a trip inside the brain of Bernie Sanders in order to get the true story as to his reaction.

“Well, the little prima donna finally bought her way to those 2,300 delegates. The guys with power, the fat money bags got their candidate. And, frankly, between you and me if not for all those black and Hispanic votes, I would have swept to victory. She certainly played her race card damn well. So, what now for the Bernie man?

God,it has been fantastic, huge crowds shouting over and over BERNIE, BERNIE, do I now have to give up being in the  spotlight of fame and return to VERMONT? Me, little Bernie Sanders from Brooklyn, who the fuck would have ever thought I would be the hero of millions? All those damn hugs from all those gorgeous gals and now what? A hug from the wife?

Damn it, there still MUST be a way for me to remain in the spotlight. Fuck it, she will never put me on her ticket so I can still draw those crowds and those cheers! Back to Vermont and what? Ben and Jerry’s ice cream? Giving a talk to a veterans group or sipping tea at some damn meeting of the local Democratic party?

How do I keep this schtick going? How to still be someone important? I got the youth vote, she doesn’t. So, what is it worth her to get my support? I just have to get something out of the past few months. Ah, the dream: PRESIDENT BERNIE SANDERS! Ah, the reality, Senator Bernie Sanders from the tiny state of Vermont.”

Jeb Bush Reflects

I hopped down to Texas in order to chat with Jeb Bush who was spending the weekend with the Bushes scrambling through bushes in search of one sent by God. Anyway, I caught up with Jeb and he offered me his observations on wha tis happening in the Republican party.

“Well, Fred, my party, the party of dad and my brother has become shambles run by the head Idiot who only knows how to shout and scream hate and violence. Could you imagine what Abraham Lincoln or Theodore Roosevelt must think about this collection of yokels who have no idea what is occurring in the world. I have a hunch  there are many Republicans who believe the word was flooded and good ole Noah saved the entire planet with his spacious wooden boat.

According to Donald my daughter or son are not eligible to become judges since their mom was born in Mexico. Perhaps, I should contact Donald and receive special dispensation to run for dog catcher in our home town. I am living through the second coming of Barry Goldwater who in 1964 ensured the victory of Lyndon Johnson.

How the hell did MY party get persuaded by this two-bit con man and his nutty ideas? Of course, Democrats got conned by the white haired guy who shouts and waves his arms. The funny part is that Ronald Reagan would not get elected chief of police in a small town since these characters believe Reagan was a LIBERAL!”

Space Ship To Anywhere

Imagine if you had the power to send any ten Earth leaders on a space ship bound for the ends of the universe, who would you select?

1. Vladimir Putin who would quickly show any alien not to mess with him before being thrown down with hisKarate skills.

2. President Assad of Syria who would show any alien that he can survive regardless of how unlikely his chances.

3. Queen Elizabeth who will live on and on and on forever in any alien climate.

4. Pope Francis will do OK in case JESUS shows up!

5.  Robert Mugabe is the ultimate African dictator who will last forever and a day anywhere.

6. Chancellor Merkel of Germany will soon become popular when she offers a home in Germany for any alien who is able to get there.

7. Xi Xinping of China who will quickly take  over the alien Internet organization and ensure his line is now the official planet line.

8. President Maduro of Venezuela could show any alien planet how to go bankrupt in three easy lessons.

9. David Cameron of the UK, will convince aliens to remain in the EU.

10. Donald Trump, of course he will build the Greatest Wall that will prevent Earthians from raping and taking jobs away from Aliens!