Category Archives: Joe Biden

Guns Everywhere

There is definitely one certainty in life, at any moment in the state of Texas someone will be walking into a church, a bar, a movie theater, heck, into a school with guns ready to blast away at bad people. Students at the University of Texas are angry that any person can enter a classroom with loaded guns. Naturally, gun lovers argue what if  a guy walks into the room with guns, we have to be ready to shoot first, and straight. Later on, we can worry as to whether of not the guy we shot was a bad person.

I can not argue with that logic, but I must admit to being disappointed in the NRA. For example:

1. Why can’t I walk into the governor’s mansion armed to the teeth? Is he hiding something?

2. How come I can’t walk into the state legislature with my assault rifle, ready to blast away at those obnoxious Muslim loving liberals??

3. The next time a president visits Texas, we ALL should be allowed to observe his motorcade armed to the teeth. What makes the president so damned important we can’t be armed when he appears?

Think about the issue this way, if we shoot the president, it prevents him from being shot by Muslim terrorists!

Health Of Hillary Clinton

This entire campaign has been characterized by discussion of non-issues. Remember attacks on Marco Rubio for taking water while speaking? Critics wanted to know WHY he had to take a drink. We witnessed over fifteen investigations of the famous  Benghazi raid which resulted in the deaths of four people. When President Reagan in 1985 sent US Marines to Beirut, Lebanon and 241 were killed by Muslim terrorists, there was not a single investigation by Congress. Not a single Democrat attacked Reagan.

So today, the real issue confronting the American people  is the fact, and it is a FACT that Hillary Clinton was seen coughing. It turns out that she has pneumonia. Naturally, no person could be president who had this life threatening disease. I  await Congressional investigations into the secret of why Hillary Clinton never told the American people that she had this disease! I confess to having coughed numerous times in my life, naturally, this is the reason I never won a Pulitzer prize for my writing. It is a proven fact that anyone who has a cold with a cough is in the initial stage of mental collapse.

Let’s see what comes next:

1. Is it true that Donald Trump won the hot dog eating contest on Coney Island?

2. Is it true that Hillary Clinton requires aid and assistance in handling her hair?

3. It is time to reveal the horrible secret that Hillary Clinton is hiding–she did not clean up her dog’s poop on March 17, 1998! It was just another example of how Hillary Clinton shits on America!

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from an 26 year old mind trapped in an 86 year  old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

These days I even feel sad for Paul Ryan who constantly has to refute his party’s candidate.

I wonder if Hillary and Bill feel a twinge of regret for selling the name of the president for money.

Jimmy Carter has raised money for  one thing–to help poor  people.

I suspect Vladimir Putin must be happy these days,  not only running Russia, he even may run America.

Old expression, “idiot’s delight” always makes me think about our  current idiot’s delight.

Day one Donald says he knows more than “our generals.” Day two, he says he wants their plan to end ISIS. And, day three…..

Face it -the current group seeking the presidency, are not the best of our society.

Or, are they???

Flight Of Republicans

Just about every day one Republican or another declares their inability to support the candidacy of Donald Trump. Meg Whitman, the Republican candidate for governor in California and executive at Hewlett Packard said she would not only refuse to support Trump, but would vote for Hillary Clinton. Republican Congressman Adam Kinzinger served with the armed forces in Iraq,, and made clear: Donald Trump for me is beginning to cross a lot of red lines of the unforgettable in politics. ”

He can no longer support a candidate who “throws put all Republican principles. I am an American before I am a Republican.” I wonder when John McCain will utter such words of patriotism since we know he IS a patriot!

Tough Guy Clint Eastwood Speaks!

As anyone who  has been alive for the past half century knows, Clint Eastwood is one tough guy. He has been a two gun shooting cowboy, he has been Dirty Harry, the fastest gun in the police force, and he has single-handedly won most wars. So, when Clint speaks, we should listen. On Donald Trump:

“He said a  lot of dumb things, so have all of them. Both sides. But, everybody–the press and everybody says, “oh well, that’s racist, and they’re making a big hoodoo  over it. Just fucking shut up. It’s a sad time in history. We have a pussy generation.”

Facts:

Clint Eastwood was born on May 31, 1930.

I was born on August 31, 1930.

Clint Eastwood was drafted into the US Army.

I joined the US Army.

Clint Eastwood spent the Korean war as a swimming instructor at Fort Ord, in California.

I volunteered for front line combat.

Clint, if you were so fucking brave, how come you never volunteered to actually fight in a real war!!

P.S.Your fucking hero, Donald Trump got five deferments during the  Vietnam war!

Dark Tales: America Today Under Trump

Thank God we have Donald Trump and his voice for calm, and peace, and hope. OK, there are some who claim that Donald is a voice of fear and anger. Just examine the record of this fighter for working people.

Donald was on the Bill O’Reilly show and asked about  his proposal for minimum wages. Donald pointed out that originally, he thought the $7.25 an hour was too high, but, he has done some further thinking and come to the conclusion that “I would leave it  and raise it somewhat.” He now believes it might be possible to have a $10 an hour wage, “but, let the states  make the deal.” In other words, if Mississippi says $5 an hour, that’s OK with Donald. He does promise that when elected, each and every American will have a “high paying job.” Yes,  he is ready to allow it to rise to $10 an hour. In other words, in Trump America, workers will be making the amazing wage of $1600 a month!

With Donald in power, good times will return to one and all. Of course, in some states that great wage might be $800 a month. I am certain workers will be happy they finally have a high paying job that once was done in China.

Speech Ivanka Never Gave

This intrepid reporter was able to uncover remnants of a speech that Ivanka Trump intended to present, but for some reason, it never was given.

“My fahther is a wonderful man who is close to ordinary people. Each day he gives a warm,’hello’ to the doorman at Trump Towers. I have seen him on more than one occasion give the maid a nice warm touch on her rear end to express appreciation. He thanks the waitress who serves him, and as a reward, she gets her ass pinched. My fahther is a warm touching man who simply loves people.

OK, so some ask why my fahther never fought in Vietnam. Someone had to remain at home and bang the lonely wives, sweethearts and moms, didn’t they? Imagine the joy and hope he offered when they were afraid? I think that my fahther deserves credit for keeping love and sex alive when too many guys were off fighting. Oh, and he built homes and building to give people jobs, and with that money,they paid taxes to support the Vietnam War, so who else can we thank for that war?  Oh, and dad NEVER allowed himself to get captured like some Senator we know.

My fahther has always been concerned about Mexican immigrants. He hired them to work on his projects, and he paid them at least $5 an hour so they had money to send home and build things back in Mexico. MY fahther is responsible for the growth in the Mexican economy.

Now, some terrible people claim that my fahther supports Nazis like David Duke.   My fahther loves Jews, he urged me to marry a Jew so my child would inherit the Jewish ability to make money. You know how those Jews are– make a great deal and cheat the other guy. I guess in fairness, those same qualities came from my grandfather.

Anyway, I love my fahther and all he represents. Some go  bang, bang with guns, my fahther goes bang, bang with his penis. And, he loves all his children! So, vote for my fahther!!”

The Stopsky Law

We offer a new law to explain any discussion of American politics in which the name of Hillary Clinton or Bill Clinton appears.

1. Within a sentence the following words will appear: sex maniac, Monica Lewinsky

2. Within a sentence the following words will appear: Liar, Hillary, Benghazi.

3. Within a sentence the following words will appear: not trustworthy, can’t be trusted.

4. Within a sentence the following words will appear: women hate her, allowed Bill to fuck women.

5. Within a sentence the following will appear: serial sex maniac, hates America.

6. Within a sentence the following will appear: Goldman Sachs, Wall Street, speeches.

It is impossible for American media to just report what Hillary Clinton actually says or believes.

Ignorance IS A Virtue!

The Kenya dude who somehow became president of the United States once again demonstrated his hatred of our noble land. He made this incredible statement while addressing students at Rutgers University: “In politics and life, ignorance is not a virtue. It is not cool to not know what you’re talking about.” Huh? Let me get this clear,is the President of the United States arguing that one should KNOW what he is talking about? Huh?

During the past nine months we have had over 17 intelligent and wise Republicans making clear that being ignorant IS a virtue and a necessity to become president. If I say, “there is NO climate change’, and I make that statement with dignity and certainty and add that God is on my side, how can what I say be incorrect? Since when did anyone seeking the presidency have to know what the hell he is talking about? We Americans want leaders who are boastful, who make promises that can never be kept, but leave us feeling happy and content. That is the essence of the American Dream.

Example: “figures indicate that MORE Hispanics are leaving America than entering. BUT, if I believe those alleged “facts”how the hell can I want to build a Great Wall and give jobs to millions??

Donald Trump Speaks

In case you missed it we will present the Trump speech that was given last night.

“Folks, it has been a great night, I mean a great, Great night for me. NO, not merely great, it has been stupendous for me and my family. Just gaze at the body and boobs of my wife and my daughter. You sure would love to fuck them, would’n’t you? Well,tonight we fucked the entire Republican party and made certain that I will be the nominee of this party. So, what lies ahead?

I am going to bring back jobs, I mean millions of jobs so Americans can work picking fruit and they will not be wearing $7.25 and hour but a good wage of $12 an hour. Yes, think of all those jobs in China making clothes,well, once in office President Trump will make certain that only native born Americans work in textile factories as did their parents. Oh, and that WALL, that fantastic WALL–who says we Americans can’t build anything anymore?

And, the deals that I will make, God, the deals that I will make! When I am finished with my deal making,Vladimir Putin and that Chink leader will be shining my shoes and thanking me for the job. We Americans will be great again, real great and we will have the greatest armed force in the world. I promise to personally smash this ISIS to hell! We will be great again and everyone will have free health care,and it will be great again in America!”

GOD BLESS ME!