Category Archives: Joe Biden

Dark Tales: America Today Under Trump

Thank God we have Donald Trump and his voice for calm, and peace, and hope. OK, there are some who claim that Donald is a voice of fear and anger. Just examine the record of this fighter for working people.

Donald was on the Bill O’Reilly show and asked about  his proposal for minimum wages. Donald pointed out that originally, he thought the $7.25 an hour was too high, but, he has done some further thinking and come to the conclusion that “I would leave it  and raise it somewhat.” He now believes it might be possible to have a $10 an hour wage, “but, let the states  make the deal.” In other words, if Mississippi says $5 an hour, that’s OK with Donald. He does promise that when elected, each and every American will have a “high paying job.” Yes,  he is ready to allow it to rise to $10 an hour. In other words, in Trump America, workers will be making the amazing wage of $1600 a month!

With Donald in power, good times will return to one and all. Of course, in some states that great wage might be $800 a month. I am certain workers will be happy they finally have a high paying job that once was done in China.

Speech Ivanka Never Gave

This intrepid reporter was able to uncover remnants of a speech that Ivanka Trump intended to present, but for some reason, it never was given.

“My fahther is a wonderful man who is close to ordinary people. Each day he gives a warm,’hello’ to the doorman at Trump Towers. I have seen him on more than one occasion give the maid a nice warm touch on her rear end to express appreciation. He thanks the waitress who serves him, and as a reward, she gets her ass pinched. My fahther is a warm touching man who simply loves people.

OK, so some ask why my fahther never fought in Vietnam. Someone had to remain at home and bang the lonely wives, sweethearts and moms, didn’t they? Imagine the joy and hope he offered when they were afraid? I think that my fahther deserves credit for keeping love and sex alive when too many guys were off fighting. Oh, and he built homes and building to give people jobs, and with that money,they paid taxes to support the Vietnam War, so who else can we thank for that war?  Oh, and dad NEVER allowed himself to get captured like some Senator we know.

My fahther has always been concerned about Mexican immigrants. He hired them to work on his projects, and he paid them at least $5 an hour so they had money to send home and build things back in Mexico. MY fahther is responsible for the growth in the Mexican economy.

Now, some terrible people claim that my fahther supports Nazis like David Duke.   My fahther loves Jews, he urged me to marry a Jew so my child would inherit the Jewish ability to make money. You know how those Jews are– make a great deal and cheat the other guy. I guess in fairness, those same qualities came from my grandfather.

Anyway, I love my fahther and all he represents. Some go  bang, bang with guns, my fahther goes bang, bang with his penis. And, he loves all his children! So, vote for my fahther!!”

The Stopsky Law

We offer a new law to explain any discussion of American politics in which the name of Hillary Clinton or Bill Clinton appears.

1. Within a sentence the following words will appear: sex maniac, Monica Lewinsky

2. Within a sentence the following words will appear: Liar, Hillary, Benghazi.

3. Within a sentence the following words will appear: not trustworthy, can’t be trusted.

4. Within a sentence the following words will appear: women hate her, allowed Bill to fuck women.

5. Within a sentence the following will appear: serial sex maniac, hates America.

6. Within a sentence the following will appear: Goldman Sachs, Wall Street, speeches.

It is impossible for American media to just report what Hillary Clinton actually says or believes.

Ignorance IS A Virtue!

The Kenya dude who somehow became president of the United States once again demonstrated his hatred of our noble land. He made this incredible statement while addressing students at Rutgers University: “In politics and life, ignorance is not a virtue. It is not cool to not know what you’re talking about.” Huh? Let me get this clear,is the President of the United States arguing that one should KNOW what he is talking about? Huh?

During the past nine months we have had over 17 intelligent and wise Republicans making clear that being ignorant IS a virtue and a necessity to become president. If I say, “there is NO climate change’, and I make that statement with dignity and certainty and add that God is on my side, how can what I say be incorrect? Since when did anyone seeking the presidency have to know what the hell he is talking about? We Americans want leaders who are boastful, who make promises that can never be kept, but leave us feeling happy and content. That is the essence of the American Dream.

Example: “figures indicate that MORE Hispanics are leaving America than entering. BUT, if I believe those alleged “facts”how the hell can I want to build a Great Wall and give jobs to millions??

Donald Trump Speaks

In case you missed it we will present the Trump speech that was given last night.

“Folks, it has been a great night, I mean a great, Great night for me. NO, not merely great, it has been stupendous for me and my family. Just gaze at the body and boobs of my wife and my daughter. You sure would love to fuck them, would’n’t you? Well,tonight we fucked the entire Republican party and made certain that I will be the nominee of this party. So, what lies ahead?

I am going to bring back jobs, I mean millions of jobs so Americans can work picking fruit and they will not be wearing $7.25 and hour but a good wage of $12 an hour. Yes, think of all those jobs in China making clothes,well, once in office President Trump will make certain that only native born Americans work in textile factories as did their parents. Oh, and that WALL, that fantastic WALL–who says we Americans can’t build anything anymore?

And, the deals that I will make, God, the deals that I will make! When I am finished with my deal making,Vladimir Putin and that Chink leader will be shining my shoes and thanking me for the job. We Americans will be great again, real great and we will have the greatest armed force in the world. I promise to personally smash this ISIS to hell! We will be great again and everyone will have free health care,and it will be great again in America!”

GOD BLESS ME!

Scandal About O.C.R.!

Just as four members of the United States Supreme Court are prepared to cite President Obamas for covering up the illegal immigration scandal, a new nefarious episode in the tangled life of Barack Obama is emerging.NO,this has nothing to do with the fact that Obama has been covering up the infamous birth certificate lies, a new demands growing for the president to come clean about the O.C.R. black episode in his life. NO,  this has nothing to do with  the president aiding in the  Benghazi tragedy. NO, this is  far more worse!

When will the president come clean about the Obama College Record scandal? What is he attempting to hide? There are unconfirmed reports his college records will prove the real name of the guy we know as Barack Hussein Obama is none other than: OSAMA BIN LAD! Why won’t he tell us that his supposed ‘A’ grades were really ‘D’ grades? How come he took four English classes in order to help the African from Kenya to read, write and speak in English? Americans demand to know who really is the man we know as Barack Hussein Obama? I believe college grade transcript will reveal his real name and it sure is not Barack Obama!

Guns For Kids

I do understand there are people called, “liberals” who refuse to adhere to the U.S. Constitution and deprive our youth of the right to own and fire weapons of self defense. Actually, most states do allow youngsters to be real Americans and handle a gun. However, I believe the American people refuse to carry out the original intention of our Founding Fathers. After all, we remember that George Washington was caught by  his dad chopping down a cherry tree. But, few know that he needed the lumber in order to make a rifle.

So, following is an American program for kids who just want to be 100% God fearing gun toting gun owners and  users.

1. At birth each American will be given a free gun. Of course, the gun should be sized to fit the child.

2. Instead of playing with dolls or teddy bears, allow the child to play with a gun while in the crib.

3. Instead of snack time in kindergarten, how about rifle practice time!

4. If we want to raise grades on tests, the answer is simple. Allow kids to bring their guns to a test and guess who is going to wind up with straight ‘A” grades?

5.Of course in fairness, teachers should be allowed to bring their gun to class. Fail the test, and let’s have a shoot-out determine who comes to class tomorrow!

I do not have a doubt that Ted and Donald will support these common sense Second Amendment rights for all Americans.

P.S. OK, you Muslim terrorists just try messing with American kids!

 

THE Issue Of Today!

Yes, there is drought in California and severe water restrictions make life difficult.

Yes, ISIS is murdering thousands of people in Syria.

Yes, each month Christian terrorists murder fifty people in Chicago, including kids.

Yes murder and mayhem in Brussels has left people in a state of terror.

Yes, thousands of Americans will have their Second Amendment right denied in Cleveland by refusal to allow guns in the convention.

Yes, hundreds of dissidents are headed to jail in China.

Yes, Mitch McConnell is holding off an attack on the right of the American people to select the next justice of the Supreme Court.

BUT, isn’t it time to focus on the Number One issue confronting the American people— is the wife of Donald Trump or the wife of Ted Cruz the more gorgeous?

Donald is furious that a semi-nude picture of his wife was released by the Cruz people. So, what else could Donald do but go on the attack?

So, he released a photo of Mrs.Cruz that makes her  appear as a witch.

Thank God Americans can finally focus on the Number One issue of these times!!

Vladimir Putin, The Tough Trump

We decided to interview Vladimir Putin on his observations of the American political scene.

“I really like this Trump guy, my only concern is who would win the Boasting contest as to who is the toughest guy. I realize Donald Trump pretends to be a tough guy, but the closest he comes to displaying toughness is to wave his arms as though that would scare someone. He shouts asking people to punch out a demonstrator, Vladimir Putin does not ask anyone to do his punching, me, I would go right into the audience and POW.

So, Donald wants to scare me and force Russia to behave. If I shook his hand, this bag of wind would collapse on the floor in agony. He is not only a fat head, he is so full of hot air, if he opened his mouth it would power a factory. Frankly, I would love this man to become President. High tariffs on American products means more sales for Russian exports.

I am a martial arts expert. So, tell me, how this fat price ever actually fought anyone with his hands, the extent of his so called tough act is to shout and scream at little punks such as Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz. Please, Please, America, make this bag of hot air your next President.”

Inside The Mind Of Marco Rubio

Since I do enjoy embarking on voyages into the unknown, the thought of seeing the inside of Marco Rubio was an experience that I could not turn down.

There were a lot of dollar bills floating around when I finally got to the center of the Rubio brain. “Fred, I want you to know that I will not cease my campaign even if I lose the primary in Florida. Fred, do you understand how much dough I take in each day from frightened Republicans who fear the very idea of a Trump presidency? I get free plane trips, I get great meals, and I do not have to pay a penny. A big difference from the days of my youth.

I have been working on my latest Trump attack. OK, I went for the  penis, and made him look sort of foolish. Then again, when Donald looks foolish,he believes that he just got more votes. Now,Fred, I am of Cuban heritage, but that does not mean I love Hispanics. We Cubans start from the bottom and get to the top, those wetbacks from Mexico, never leave the fields. OK, so once I was for them before I came out agains them.Fred, this is the ear of Trump politics, just say anything that comes into your mind. There are always idiots out in the audience who will applaud.

Anyway,I am in this race to the end of the dollars. Then, again, maybe Donald needs a VP who sweats and makes him look cool?”