Category Archives: Joe Biden

Vladimir Putin, The Tough Trump

We decided to interview Vladimir Putin on his observations of the American political scene.

“I really like this Trump guy, my only concern is who would win the Boasting contest as to who is the toughest guy. I realize Donald Trump pretends to be a tough guy, but the closest he comes to displaying toughness is to wave his arms as though that would scare someone. He shouts asking people to punch out a demonstrator, Vladimir Putin does not ask anyone to do his punching, me, I would go right into the audience and POW.

So, Donald wants to scare me and force Russia to behave. If I shook his hand, this bag of wind would collapse on the floor in agony. He is not only a fat head, he is so full of hot air, if he opened his mouth it would power a factory. Frankly, I would love this man to become President. High tariffs on American products means more sales for Russian exports.

I am a martial arts expert. So, tell me, how this fat price ever actually fought anyone with his hands, the extent of his so called tough act is to shout and scream at little punks such as Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz. Please, Please, America, make this bag of hot air your next President.”

Inside The Mind Of Marco Rubio

Since I do enjoy embarking on voyages into the unknown, the thought of seeing the inside of Marco Rubio was an experience that I could not turn down.

There were a lot of dollar bills floating around when I finally got to the center of the Rubio brain. “Fred, I want you to know that I will not cease my campaign even if I lose the primary in Florida. Fred, do you understand how much dough I take in each day from frightened Republicans who fear the very idea of a Trump presidency? I get free plane trips, I get great meals, and I do not have to pay a penny. A big difference from the days of my youth.

I have been working on my latest Trump attack. OK, I went for the  penis, and made him look sort of foolish. Then again, when Donald looks foolish,he believes that he just got more votes. Now,Fred, I am of Cuban heritage, but that does not mean I love Hispanics. We Cubans start from the bottom and get to the top, those wetbacks from Mexico, never leave the fields. OK, so once I was for them before I came out agains them.Fred, this is the ear of Trump politics, just say anything that comes into your mind. There are always idiots out in the audience who will applaud.

Anyway,I am in this race to the end of the dollars. Then, again, maybe Donald needs a VP who sweats and makes him look cool?”

Schmuck Of Year Award

Each month we award a special trophy to an American who proves the American dream still lives on. We are interested in Americans who defy the ordinary and seek to achieve new goals that escape the ordinary mind. So, here is to OTTO WARMBIER of the great state of Virginia. Otto  belonged to a thing called the Friendship United Methodist Church, and was friends with a young woman. So, she issued a challenge to the young man.

He flew to North Korea as a tourist. Took a room in a hotel and proceeded to steal a North Korean banner as he had promised the young women he would do. She, in turn promised to buy him a car and, if he was detained, give his family $200,000. Well, Otto was arrested, and forced on television to confess his crime. You know, he had planned to overthrow the North Korean government. Well, Otto is now crying, he faces jail time in North Korea and I have absolutely no knowledge as to what this idiot girl will do about the money.

P.S. Why does the US government allowed idiots to travel to North Korea?

Hillary Can Still Win The Nomination

Yes, Hillary won a squeaker in Iowa, yes, Bernie Sanders will win in New Hampshire. Yes, Bernie is gaining support from young voters. No,  Bernie cannot   gain the support of white males, no, Bernie can  not gain the support of white union members, yes, Hillary Clinton can do much  better among such voters. As of this moment, neither in Iowa nor in New Hampshire has an election taken place in a state which contains black or Hispanic voters and large blocs of union members.

Hillary will not win in New Hampshire but she will win in South  Carolina and in large industrial states. Those are the numbers that count. For the coming months the Sanders movement will inspire young voters to enter the fray. The unanswered question is whether this bloc will actually turn out to vote on election day. They never showed up  in 2010 nor in 2012 and that is why Republicans control Congress.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 25 year old mind trapped in an 85 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

Republicans seek to tell people how to control their bodies in the name of ending government control over the lives of people.

Why do so many modern politicians shout so loud?

I so miss the calm voice of Rand Paul at the Republican debate.

Martin Luther King was a man who believed in coalitions unlike so many modern black groups.

There are moments when I wish Bernie Sanders would just calm down and think about how a Democrat can win the presidency.

Gee whiz, a day without the shooting of a black guy by police!

For some strange reason on TV police shows the cop faces punishment if he shoots someone.

Democratic Debate

There was a debate on Sunday night between Bernie Sanders, Hillary Clinton and the other guy, the one from Maryland. Much  like Republican debates the Democrats were united on key issues, wealth inequality, health care, jobs, infrastructure, women and black and Hispanic people. Oh, the difference was that Republicans love wealth inequality, hate health care, see no reason to build highways,  or bridges or other such construction since it would cost money. Oh, and they think women, and blacks, and Hispanics have got it made.

Bernie wants to create a government run health insurance program such as is found in most civilized nations. Hillary is for it but prefers to improve the Affordable Care Act and the other guy agrees with both of them. Reality check, it is doubtful if Republicans will lose control of both houses of Congress and will be around for more years to block any meaningful change in American society. The bottom line is too many Americans hate –POLITICS. Of course, it is POLITICS  which daily impacts their lives, but they so do hate POLITICS.

Oh yeah, there was a debate but I never could figure out how Bernie and Hillary and the other guy really differed on anything.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 25 year old mind trapped in an 85 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

There are moments in Republican debates when I think I am in the children’s room.

So love Chris Christie’s boast he would tell King Hussein how now  he has a friend and ally. Of course, King Hussein died in 1999, but what the heck.

Barack Obama will go down in history as a president who just did not know how to inspire Americans.

I would so love to be the fly on the wall listening to Jeb and Donald go at one another in private.

After listening to Chris boast how he was there at 9/11, I just did not know he was the president at that moment.

The most bored person at Republican debates is Rand Paul who stands and sighs most of the time.

John Kasich looks like a Kung Fu expert as he waves arms and hands in the air to emphasize a point.

Donald Forever Donald

“My friends, I got this wonderful plan to end all wars, to create an  economy  that provides each and every American with an income of at least $60,000  a year. It all begins with securing our  borders. Right, no more goods being allowed to enter our nation from China or Mexico. Once the borders are secured, we are on the road to safety and security.

Look, I like Jeb, I like Marco, I like Ted, heck, I even like the fat guy on the end, but how the hell can I put my arms around that body. And, I like women, Carly, when I am President, you can be my secretary, after all, you are the only  one on this stage who knows how to be a secretary. Now, about my wall, I personally will supervise its construction–think of the thousands of jobs that wall will create!

Now, about my plan. We bomb the hell out of ISIS or ISIL or whatever these Muslims call themselves. We don’t allow Muslims into our country which means more jobs for American born Christians –and definitely  for my friends, the Jews. Think about it-no more Muslims, no more foreigners in Silicon Valley, and gobs of jobs for we Americans.

I want every one on this stage to know when we get rid of all these foreigners, each and every one of you will have a job picking fruit in California!

God Bless America! Keep it Christian–and Jewish, forever!”

Chicago Deaths Mysteries

Then Chicago area does contain a few people of Muslim background but when issues of killing are concerned this is one 100% certified town where those who are Christians are leaders in death. The  current uproar is over the excellent work of a police officer who fired SIXTEEN bullets in to  the body of sixteen year old Laquan McDonald. Here is the  official police report as reported by several cops who were also at the scene of death.

Mr. McDonald had a knife–all six  inches of one.

Mr. McDonald was slashing tires with the knife.

Police arrived at the scene of this terrorist action and felt their lives were in danger.

Their official report is after Mr. McDonald had sixteen bullets in his body, he arose, walked toward the police waving  his knife.

So, what else could these brave men do but kill the terrorist?

This is only on of dozen such reports about terrorists–none of whom were Muslim-threatening the lives of police.

Finally, the Justice Department will conduct some investigations. Just another example of how LIBERALS  are conducting a war against the police!!

NRA Explains Everything

I decided to check with  our leading experts on gun violence, members of the NRA. John offered to present a defense of the GUN which all too often is charged with being the cause of anyone getting killed. So, let John explain the  entire situation.

1. We Americans have had guns since the birth of this nation and it was GUNS that made us a free people.

2. Decent Americans  purchase guns to protect themselves against bad people.

3. A gun is like a knife or a rock, yes, someone can use them to hurt others, but does this mean we eliminate rocks from our lives?

4. Of course, decent Christian folk only  use guns for protection, but then there are those Muslim terrorists.

5. The problem with shootings of the innocent lies with mental health issues. If you want to end bad shootings, just send those nuts to a mental hospital.

6. It is time to cease blaming innocent guns for the crimes of sick people!