We decided to interview Vladimir Putin on his observations of the American political scene.
“I really like this Trump guy, my only concern is who would win the Boasting contest as to who is the toughest guy. I realize Donald Trump pretends to be a tough guy, but the closest he comes to displaying toughness is to wave his arms as though that would scare someone. He shouts asking people to punch out a demonstrator, Vladimir Putin does not ask anyone to do his punching, me, I would go right into the audience and POW.
So, Donald wants to scare me and force Russia to behave. If I shook his hand, this bag of wind would collapse on the floor in agony. He is not only a fat head, he is so full of hot air, if he opened his mouth it would power a factory. Frankly, I would love this man to become President. High tariffs on American products means more sales for Russian exports.
I am a martial arts expert. So, tell me, how this fat price ever actually fought anyone with his hands, the extent of his so called tough act is to shout and scream at little punks such as Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz. Please, Please, America, make this bag of hot air your next President.”