In order to speed up the process of this primary season which will last for over a year before we begin the event known as an election, we thought if might be interesting to offer a preview of what Republicans will be discussing during the coming months
1. Hillary Clinton is a closet lesbian. But, don’t get us wrong, some of our best friends are lesbians.
2. Bill Clinton is the secret lover of George Clooney.
3. At this very moment a giant tunnel is being constructed under the Pacific Ocean to transport Chinese soldiers in their invasion of America.
4. ISIS is behind the government of Iran.
5. Lower taxes, reduce the money coming into the government and raise military expenditures by $150 billion.
6. If elected, Senator Rand Paul will personally lead American troops into battle in Iran. His chief of staff will be Liam Neeson.
7. We need to repeal Obamacare and provide health insurance to those without. Just be patient, we will soon explain our plan.
8. Once Republicans are in control of the federal government the drought will end in California.
9. Unleash Wall Street and economic prosperity will rise for those earning $7.25 an hour, their wages will rise dramatically to $7.75 cents an hour.
10. Jesus will finally return knowing he will be greeted by the Koch brothers.