Category Archives: Catholics

Donald Trump Gives Thanks

God Bless you Iowa for the great victory I achieved tonight by coming in second. When I began this campaign months ago, I was warned, and I mean, warned, not to enter the Iowa primary by some so-called “experts” who said it is doubtful if I could get a hundred votes. Well, look at the record, I had over TWENTY THOUSAND VOTES! Man, tonight was a great, and I mean a great victory for me the  underdog.  l love you Iowa, and heck I might even become a farmer and farm, or do whatever is done on a  farm.

I am a great gambler, and I took the  biggest gamble of my life. I entered the Iowa primary,and I refused to take part in the comedy show they term, the Republican Debate. And, I won the gamble. I came in second. Just imagine, told I would not get a hundred votes and I got TWENTY THOUSAND! I’m smart, I’m brilliant. I’m not like the stupid people on that I have been standing on a stage with for months.

So, I won this primary,and now on to New Hamphire.

Ted Cruz Gives Thanks

First, I want each and every person in this hall to get on your knees and give thanks to our Lord up above for giving us this great victory. Oh, and as you pray there will be some of my representatives picking up any loose change that fell from your pockets.  Now, I have some important news. Prior to coming to this group I received a call from our Lord and Creator. He wants to make clear that his son, Jesus, made sort of a mistake by making comment concerning the difficulty of wealthy folks getting into Heaven. We have first rate super deluxe apartments set aside for those with the bucks to pay for them.

Second, I want to make clear that as we head for New Hampshire, there is only one Republican who  our Lord has anointed with his blessing, and you are currently listening to him. God is on our side as we set off for war against the infidels led by Donald Trump and his secret mistress–Hillary Clinton! If you love God, remember to part with your money and give it to God’s messenger. NO! Not that Jesus guy–ME!

Family Day In Italy

There is no question that Italy remains a decent God fearing nation which intends to adhere to the Catholic Church.  The Italian Bishop Conference has sponsored a Family  Day protest to ensure Catholics do not regard “marriage and civil unions on the  same level as the family.” And, of course, we know what “The Family” is– a man and a woman having sex.

I understand the Catholic Church is convinced that a man and a woman is  “the Family that God wants.” OK, this is clear. My question is: “If God believes that it takes a man and a woman to create a family, then why the  heck doesn’t he get a wife and form the family he wants!!

Rand Paul Not So Bored

Ordinarily in these debates Rand Paul is over at the end and appears to be gazing at the ceiling in despair as to how in hell he got stuck on this stage with these weird guys.

“Ted, Marco, I was there when both of you on the Senate floor were supporting a bill to allow illegal immigrants to become citizens. Of course, these days such ideas do not play well in this nation, particularly in Iowa. And Ted, you voted to reduce military expenditures and now you are going to dramatically increase the size of the US military. I wonder why. You also wanted to allow the government to check our phones. Not exactly an example of the 4th Amendment. Then again, Marco I have lost track as to the number of times you change your mind when  there is realization voting for bill X might lead to loss of votes.

Anyway, it has been a nice quiet evening without the guy at center stage bullying one and all.”

Iranians Welcomed By Pope

President Hassan Rouhani of Iran is now in Italy and among the folks he will be talking with is Pope Francis. I realize the idea of a Catholic Pope talking to an evil MUSLIM man infuriates good Catholics like Ted Cruz or Marco Rubio because their concept of Catholicism is to hate and hate. Rouhani is on a business trip to negotiate billion dollar deals with European business corporations. Yes, Iran will soon have returned about $50 billion that has been frozen for decades. NO,the money will not go to terrorists, but to improve life in Iran for Iranians!

I always assumed the Donald Trump had this great business plan, but for some reason he is not interested in $50 billion. Donald boasts that he is a very rich  man, actually, he has about $5 billion which places him way down on the list of our wealthy folks. He Donald, how about a meeting with  Rouhani?

Hijab For God?

Among the great issues confronting humankind is the question as to whether or not Muslim females should wear a hijab over the head. Several Canadian Muslim females told the Toronto Star how wonderful it was to wear the hijab. Marlam Nouser said: “I started wearing the hibjab  after I finished high school. It was a way to start a new life and reclaim my Muslim self. I can’t imagine not wearing it.”

Obviously, Muslims are not the only females wearing something covering their head, just ask a nun. Many Jewish females have worn head coverings, and so do many religious Jews. My question is why does any human think God believes it is respectful for you to cover your head? If He was so concerned, why didn’t He create humans with a built in head covering? Oh, I forgot, He gave us HAIR! When you wear the hijab you cover up God’s original design!

For God’s sake enough of this head covering and return to what God originally created– a head of hair!

Bernie Just Doesn’t Get It

I agree with ideas being expressed by Senator Bernie Sanders during the past few months about income inequality and the need to reduce power of the wealthy. But, his recent comments that he has the ability to gather together those now supporting Donald Trump is not merely wishful thinking, it is completely wrong.  “What Trump has done with some success  is taken that anger  from those fears,  which are legitimate, and unleashed them into anger against Mexicans, against Muslims.”

Bernie, it is not merely income inequality that drives that anger. Its foundation is   hatred toward Hispanics,  hatred toward Muslims, hatred toward those who are socially, if not economically, below the white working class. Yes, these people hate the wealthy, but their hate is more vicious toward minority groups. This is an old pattern in American history. Donald Trump is merely the latest demagogue who uses prejudice to gain political power. If there were no wealthy, these white groups would still be hating Mexicans and Muslims.

No Come Santa

This blog has been in secret conversations with Trump headquarters in order to alert these vigilant defenders of Christianity against the heathen Muslims. The nation of Brunei has struck a blow for all those who are weary with the endless plump guys sporting white beards and ringing a bell. The  Brunei government has officially banned Christmas from the land. It is designed to “control the act of  celebrating Christmas excessively which could damage the beliefs of the Muslim community.”

First, these Muslims just about wipe out the entire American population,and now they are striking at the very foundation of Xmas–buying presents, singing the same songs over and over again, and listening to ministers preaching something called, ‘brotherly love.” All I know is that the Donald man is ready to strike a blow for Xmas–ban the arrival of anyone from the state of Brunei!

HEADLINES FROM WORLD PRESS

We offer samples of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

Denmark, Copenhagen Post:  “Send In The Clowns”

No need to, they are already in Congress.

Egypt, al-Ahram: “Charged With Spreading False News”

Come on, what else is Fox News supposed to do!

Israel, Jerusalem Post: “Perfect Female Body”

I don’t know about her body, but when it comes to perfect nonsense, Carly Fiorina gets the prize.

China, China Daily: “More Polluted Air”

Just another day in Communist land.

India, Times of India: “Epic Love Tiangle”

Trump, Rubio and Cruz?

Ben Carson-One Dumb Guy!

Ben Carson once again was on a debate stage and sort of mumbled some thoughts about the world and his work cutting open skulls. He was asked if his skills and knowledge enabled him to order bombing attacks that would kill innocent children.

“I have spent my life cutting open skulls of children, and they are afraid for a moment, but when I am finished they love me. I have no problem ordering bombing attacks in Syria, of  course, I would need some further information as to where in the world is this place.”

He was asked his opinion about  ISIS. “From early childhood I have always loved ices. In particular, I really enjoy a cold raspberry ice. OH, you mean the terror group. As a Christian I love all people. I would so enjoy sitting down with these people and allowing them to get to know me. I am certain once they knew who Ben Carson was they would, not only buy my book, they would invite me into their home. It is very  important to talk slow so these people could understand my English. I will tonight ask Jesus to embrace them as brothers.”