Category Archives: Catholics

Give Contraceptives A Rest

The current eruption in right wing media and ministers of the faith concerning use of contraceptives is much ado about nothing. Archbishop Timothy Dolan is furious at the Obama administration for requiring religious institutions to offer those on its medical plans access to contraceptives. Most probably the vast majority of Catholic women use some form of contraceptives and never connect such use to their membership in the  Catholic religion. Honest, they do not think use of contraceptives is akin to what happened in the French Revolution.

One might note to the Archbishop that no one is forcing women to use contraceptives , it is their choice so why complain about “the government.” It is one thing to be concerned about abortion rights another to yell and scream about use of contraceptives. How about lowering the volume on this topic?

Republican Follies Go On And On!

Future political  scientists will have a wonderful time writing books and articles about the vaudeville show that has been touring America for the past year. It originally featured Michele, Tim, Rick, Rick, Herman, Newt, Mitt, and grandfathr Ron.  Today, alas, we are left with Rick, Neswt, Mitt and grand dad Ron. Mitt appeared to be in the lead for securing the presidential nomination, but  first Newt got in his  way, and last night, Rick had a hat trick with three  victories.

Evangelicals and Conservatives manned the barriers and halted the Mitt procession on grounds the millionaire was simply a LIBERAL dressed in Conservative clothes. Rick yelled with boyish enthusiasm, ‘I don’t stand here as the Conservative alternative to Mitt Romney, I stand here to be the conservative alternative to Barack Obama.”

Perhaps, the highlight of the evening was watching Mitt use a teleprompter in order to inform his supporters that  Rick had won.

Aftermath Of Abuse

Among the most  sorrowful and difficult issues confronting the Catholic Church is handling the aftermath of  sex abuse by some members of the clergy. There is no question hundreds, if not thousands of innocent children were abused by those who violated their solemn religious oath to safeguard those under their care. Pope Benedict has urged a “profound renewal of the Catholic Church in order to prevent further child abuse. He summoned bishops from 100 countries to a four day meeting. The Vatican’s top anti-abuse prosecutor, Charles Scicluna, will be present.

It will be a closed door conference. It is understandable any discussion of such sensitive issues can not be open to the media. However, it is important for those who suffered abuse to have opportunities to talk with church leaders. Lack of these voices only furthers the divide between victims and oppressors.

Santorum New Republican Saint

Rick won big in Minnesota and Missouri and his victorious performance in Colorado indicates that he will continue to be a presence in the Republican race for the presidency. Mitt once again miffed the chance to prove he is popular among Republicans. Actually, it would be wonderful if Mitt actually gained 50% of the vote in any state in the union. Rick gave his normal speech, about his love for America, his love for his wife, his love for his children, his love for his hard working grandfather, his love of standing before a microphone and having people pay attention to his words.

Mitt’s response to getting whipped was to attack Obama and toss around some lies about unemployment. About 10% of Missouri voters voted for Uncommitted. We suggest the Republican Party make contact with this guy and have him enter the race for president.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 21 year old mind trapped in an 81 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

Sign: “Fertility Pharmacist On Duty.” I assume that means he impregnates on demand.

It is doubtful if Newt Gingrich ever uttered a sentence without the expression, “I have experience in changing America.” The problem is –in which ways?

Some have a “dainty appearance.” Me, I’m a slob.

Some wonder, “why” and some wonder, “why not.”

If at first you don’t succeed, chances are you never will.

We see what we need to see.

Few in the modern corporation love it.

Fifteen degrees and she wears a mini-skirt. I assume she has either a warm body or heart.

I am not a quantifier of life.

Young children have special  relations to their dolls.

I have never worn a tee shirt with the name of a college. I just graduate from them.

I rarely scratch my head in public.

Pope Blasts Gay Marriage

Pope Benedict XVI is a man of peace and carries within his heart much love for humanity. There is also no question issues dealing with gays and lesbians remain controversial and regardless of what he says, some portion of the Catholic community will be offended. There are thousands of gay and lesbian Catholics who are proud of their church and seek to be members of it, but there are also Catholics who do not want them inside the doors of their religion. In his annual State of the World address, the Pope came out swinging against gays and lesbians.

He insisted gay marriage would undermine the concept of family, “threaten human dignity and the future of humankind itself.” From his perspective, marriage between a man and a woman constitute “the fundamental cell of every society.” Reality is that gay and lesbian marriages are here to stay. Reality is such marriages are accepted by a majority of young Catholics in most countries of the world. At some point, this decent man has to accept reality.

Gay KKK Members Bother Catholics

We live in an era in which those whose hearts are filled with hate and anger feel perfectly OK blasting opponents with wild charges of hate and anger. Over seventy years ago, the KKK was fairly strong in many parts of America and they not only hated black skinned people, but had enough hate for Catholics, Jews, and immigrants. A gay parade was planned in Chicago, and its route would pass by a Catholic church while members were at prayer. Chicago Cardinal Francis George condemned the parade  as similar in tone to those old time KKK anti-Catholic rallies.

Exactly how a  group of people walking in the street interrupt those at prayer inside a building somehow escapes my understanding of reality.  The good Cardinal apologized for hurting the feelings of anyone.

If you want to make Fox News this evening , just attack someone as a Nazi, Socialist, Communist, devil-worshipper, or whatever.

P.S. Sorry Cardinal, but some of those gay folk marching in the street are Catholics!

Santa Claus Enters Republican Primary!

Mr.  Kris Kringle registered in the state of Minnesota as a Republican and immediately threw his snow ball into the Republican race to secure the nomination for president. Kris was accompanied by his wife, Kate Kringle who  told the media although Michele Bachmann may have 24 foster children, she has 45 elf children and all are gainfully working so Newt Gingrich can not accuse them of being lazy young people. Unofficial reports indicate a Short People PAC has been formed to place ads in the media urging short folk to vote for Santa.

Santa made clear that he was a 1000% American boy, born in the cold state of Maine and now residing in an igloo in Minnesota. He promised, if elected, to create over 5,000,000 jobs since there is tremendous need for toys to sell to children and adults. Kris also wanted conservatives to know he will conserve all existing holidays and will celebrate Christmas in the White House. However, he also assured Muslims, Jews, atheists and all other religions that distribution of toys will continue for children of all backgrounds.

Santa promised to end pollution by ending use of cars and replacing them with sleds. He also made clear that he opposes abortion of deer or bear babies although it is OK to shoot their parents. Kris ensured one and all that Jesus has a place in his heart and he will continue to honor the Christ child as the son of God.

As far as foreign policy goes, Santa made clear he had traveled throughout the world, unlike other Republican candidates and knew every language on this planet. So, if you finally want an intelligent person in the White House, vote for the man who will make certain the White House is white covered.

PERFECT IOWA REPUBLICAN PITCH

Ladies and gentlemen, and, fellow Christians if I may without having agents of the Federal government arrest me for publicly praising the words and deeds of our Savior, Jesus Christ, today we face a struggle between the forces of the Devil and the forces of Christianity. I want everyone to know that not only was I baptized as a Catholic, but I also was baptized as a Baptist and a Lutheran and a born again Christian. Unlike our Muslim president, I believe in Jesus Christ. I believe that life begins from  the moment a male injects a female with his fluid, even if it is in the condom. In fact, we need a Constitutional amendment that declares anything in a condom is life itself.

I oppose abortion even if my wife, my sister, my daughter was raped by one of those evil Muslims. I believe we must fire a few million government workers in order to take the first step in creating jobs. We must end all taxes on those who earn over a million dollars a year in order to assist job creators to create more jobs. I believe we must end taxes on those who work and allow those who work to keep all they earn from the work they do. Ending taxation is the first step on the road to prosperity and jobs.

Oh, I know some will wonder how we can pay for police or firemen. Simple, if you use their services then you pay for their services. If you want your child educated, don’t pay school taxes, educate the child and end secular tyranny from preventing our children to learn about Jesus Christ. Once job creators are creating new jobs in oil then we can simply charge a slight fee for extracting oil from federal lands and that will take care of funding the federal government.

Before I conclude, let me assure my Jewish friends, that while we are a Christian nation, we will protect Israel. You should have the right to educate Jewish children in Jewish schools. And, as for those who are Mormon, my question is: why are you?

So, give a prayer for Jesus, give a prayer urging our armed forces to kill a Muslim for Christ and let’s get America great again!

Santa’s Gifts For New Year

We offer Santa gifts for the New Year.

1.  Chicago Cubs win the  World Series. OK, a hundred years late, but it finally arrived.

2. For American teachers. A new law requires members of Congress to pass the 11th grade American history test prior to writing new laws concerning accountability.

3. Sarah Palin, her own bank.

4.  Herman Cain, a monopoly on selling Rolex watches to tourists on 42nd Street.

5.  Rick Perry, a magic wand makes him able to count from one to  ten.

6.  Barack Obama awakes to discover he actually has a set of balls.

7.  England receives the gift of ending the Conservative/Liberal coalition.

8.  Israel discovers Jews don’t steal land nor do they treat others as second class citizens.

9.  Newt Gingrich gains the gift of seeing his self as others see it.

10. Mitt Romney awakes to begin acting as the Mitt Romney of years ago.

11. Nancy Pelosi gains the Speaker role once again.

12. Donald Trump goes bald.

13. All American soldiers return from Afghanistan–alive, that is!

14. Michele Bachmann discovers the God she has been speaking with is really the  Devil.

15. I finally figure out what the Geico Ad is selling.

16. Two million new jobs are created in America.