Category Archives: Catholics

Joe Saves Arizona!

Joe Arpaio is the man who single-handedly has saved the state of Arizona from he rapists and murderers who  swarm over the border and rampage through the streets of Phoenix. Of course if you wish to know who  is “America’s toughest Sheriff” just ask Joe. Of course, if you ask Donald Trump he will be glad to make clear that if elected president, Joe is the guy who will be in charge of our border to the south. Of course, one of those “liberal judges” who the immigrant from Kenya appointed, has a different view. According to Judge Jack Murray, Joe has “demonstrated a persistent disregard for the orders of this court.”

Joe is accused of racially profiling Hispanics and sending them to jail for the crime of being an Hispanic. Let’s be fair to Joe. For each Hispanic he sends to jail, there is one fewer rapists out there raping to their heart’s content. Just imagine how many Hispanics will wind up in prison once President Trump takes power?

Oh, I await Joe taking on the Islamic terrorists who want to swarm over our southern border.

Donald’s Being Persecuted

Candidate Donald Trump was recently asked  about why he does not wish to reveal his tax returns. Which of the following was his response?

A

1. Red headed males do not have to reveal tax returns.

2.  No one asked George Washington to reveal his tax returns so why should I?

3.  It’s because the IRS hates Christians and I’m one Big Christian!

 

Donald was asked how his meeting with Paul Ryan went. Which was his response?

1. OK, I agreed not to call him, “lying Paul.”

2. We had a good talk.

3.  I gave my promise not to fuck his wife!

Donald was asked his ideas about the new mayor of London being a Muslim.

C

1. He can enter as long as he strips to naked.

2. At least he speaks English so he can’t be all bad.

3. Sure, he can enter, some of my best friends are Muslims.

Correct answers: A-3, B-2, C-3

Rodrigo, Filipino Donald!

We Americans are worried about Donald Trump becoming president of the USA, but what about the people of the Philippines? The candidate who probably will become the next president has made some promises:

He plans to kill thousands and thousands of  criminals–but, not one is from Mexico.

An Australian missionary was raped in his town. Rodrigo Détente was offended because she was “pretty” and the rapists never asked him to participate in the rape.

Rodrigo plans to rewrite the Constitution so the president can do whatever the hell he wants to do.

Oh, a few other of his plans: No loud Karoke music because people have to get a good night’s sleep.

No  one is allowed to get drunk because they have to go to work the next day.

Does Donald now seem OK?

“I Know Russia Well”

There are numerous liberals and un-Americans in this great land, who refuse to accept the intelligence, the world knowledge, and dignity of Donald Trump. To demonstrate his foreign policy knowledge, Donald pointed out: “I know Russia well. I had a major event in Russia two or three years ago, Miss Universe contest, which was a big, big, incredible event. An incredible success.”

And, furthermore:

Donald was in a market place in Jerusalem where he purchased–with  his own money, a bunch of blintzes and latkas, these are real terrific Jewish foods! And, I mean the Greatest Jewish foods!

Donald was at the Olympics, three or four or whatever years ago, and he was right in the audience when a guy from Jamaica, won the hundred yard dash. HE knows hundred yard dash victor, can Hillary say the same?

Donald was in Turkey, a few years ago, and  you know that ISIS was next door in Syria, and Donald even stayed an entire week in Turkey which means he has gobs and gobs of knowledge about Turkey and he even drank some Turkish coffee!

A few years ago or maybe a dozen years ago, Donald was in Iceland, and he watched a fishing event where fishermen caught real fish from ICELAND! Does Hillary know any Icelandic fishermen?

 

THE Issue For America

I understand there are people in this nation who have some weird ideas about the IMPORTANT issues confronting the United States of America. Bernie keeps on talking about income inequality and student debt and Wall Street guys who manipulate the economy to make gobs of money. Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio can’t get away from talking about those rapists and murderers from Mexico. Ben Carson knows the most important issue is how many books he sold this month.

But, Governor Pat McCrory is the only one these days who has grasped THE issue confronting the survival, not only of America, but the entire civilized world is— Who is allowed in the bathroom when you piss or shit! Pat has pushed through a law that only allows folks to  use a bathroom based upon what their birth certificate says is their sex. I assume he believes those who piss together will  pray together and maintain the  purity of the American people.

Actually, Governor McCrory is a JOB CREATOR! Just think of all the jobs that will soon be available in North Carolina for birth certificate checkers in every bathroom in the state! I trust he increases the minimum wage for this job from $7.25  an hour to $15 an hour!

And, liberals claim the Republican party will not create jobs!

Who Wants To Go To Heaven?

Once upon  a time, a few months ago, there was a teacher named Reince Priebus who had a class of 16 boys and one girl. One day, he told the students about the wonders of this wonderful place high up in the sky which is called, Republican Heaven. He asked how many of them wanted to go to  Heaven. A red haired boy named Donald shot his hand into the air and said: “Me, only Me, because I am the most intelligent in this class, and I know the most and when I get to heaven I’m going to build the largest, the biggest wall so that no one will ever again get in without an OK from me.”

Benny Carson said:”that’s OK with me as long as you buy the story of my life.”

Carly said: “Nobody, and I mean no guy is getting there before me. I’m the smartest in this whole  class of dumb bells.”

Little Marco said: “If I get to heaven will it mean that I will never again sweat so much?”

Jeb said: “Well, Donald, my big brother already got there and he said that I’m going to be the next one to get into Heaven, so there!”

Randy Paul said: “Heaven, schmeaven, who cares. Frankly, I really don’t want to go with Donald.”

Johnny Kasich said: “Can I get lots of food to eat in Heaven?”

Mikey Huckabee said: “I promise to pray for  all in this class to get to heaven. God almighty already said I’m going.”

Teddie said: “There is no way I’m going to heaven if Donald goes!”

What the rest said, no one cares about.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 25 year old mind trapped in an 85 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

I have a hunch this is the first time a man running for President never stated one specific idea as to what he will do.

Then again, Bernie speaks about his goals, but how to reach them is another issue.

So, will Donald go for the female vote and select Carly? She certainly leads women in getting fired and falling off stages.

I wonder what Jeb is thinking today?

A nation of 320 million and we did find THE man.

I gather ISIS leaders are now planning to head for the hills.

Poor John Kasich, all alone.

 

So, What Now, Bernie?

The end of the road is now in sight for those supporting Bernie Sanders. He ain’t going to win  the nomination and Wall Street can take a deep breath. Actually, I doubt if any Wall Street guys lost a single night’s sleep over the white haired guy from Brooklyn. The real issue is what now for Bernie?

1. He can continue talking about speeches and Hillary money which makes Donald happy.

2. He can organize a movement to retake control of Congress by voting this year for US Senators, congressmen, state legislators and governors.

3. He can go home and sulk.

4. He can enter negotiations for him to run as her vice president.

5.He can identify Clinton  ideas that are consistent with his own.

Bernie, the time has come to behave as a leader in the fight to prevent a Republican victory this fall.

Key Anti-Terrorist Plan Revealed

Perhaps, Donald Trump is campaigning in the wrong country, and he might consider crossing the Atlantic Ocean and heading for France. French Prime Minister Manuel Valls has identified the most powerful way to crush ISIS and all other Islamic terrorist groups. This tough talking leader of the free world has identified the most powerful way to end terrorism as  a threat to the people of Europe. Valls has called for banning the use of headscarfs from universities. He argues the vast majority of French  people believe this Islamic idea is incompatible with the values of the Republic.

OK, the Education Minister Najat Vallaud-Belkcan is agains this idea and is  now muttering something about freedom of conscience and liberty. Now,what the hell does freedom of conscience have to do with saving, not only France, but the free world from the horror of women walking around with a headscarf? I guess if having things on one’s head is a threat, how about those Jews who wear something on their heads?

Oh, I was raised as an Orthodox Jew and women had to wear a head piece while in the shul.

Exclusive: New Trump Immigration Plan

This intrepid reporter can now present to the American people a startling new Trump plan to resolve the immigration problem without building walls or deporting millions of Hispanics. Ivanka Trump is proposing a fascinating new approach to immigration in America by those of Hispanic background.  “As long as  you come here legally and get a proper job…we need immigrants. Who’s going to clean up after us? Americans don’t like to do that.”

So, here is the new Trump immigration plan:

1. Mexicans obtain a visa.

2. Waiting for the immigrants are thousands, heck no, hundreds of thousands of employer or housewives seeking reliable domestic help. From now on ALL Hispanic immigrants simply agree to work as domestic servants and make life easier for the top one percent.

3. Think of all the janitor jobs in our  factories that real Americans don’t want to do! Let the Hispanic clean up our shit!

4. And they can walk through a door which eliminates the need to construct walls!

P.S. And they are not Muslim Syrians!