Category Archives: Christianity

Heidi Cruz On Ted

As you recall or don’t recall, Ted Cruz was raving about the intelligence of his wife who made money on the hated Wall Street. However,the other day Heidi made a boo-boo. She was at a Ted rally when to impress the audience that HER husband was a unifier, the gal with an Ivy League education sort of spoke without thinking.She informed the audience: “Ted is an immigrant. Ted is Hispanic” So, he is the only Republican who can secure votes from the Hispanic voters.

Ted was sort of upset since the Donald man insists that he is not a natural born citizen. Perhaps, Heidi wants her man to remain home and the best way is to ramble on about his immigrant status. I guess if she was the wife of Obama, Heidi would be boasting about his African heritage to get the black vote.

We can now reveal the truth about Ted Cruz– his name is really Tajai Allah ben- Cruzenfelt. Why not the Jewish  and Arab votes at the same time?

Obama On Republicans

Once a year media correspondents get together and ask the current president to utter some biting sarcastic comments. Barack Obama appeared for the last time.

“They say that Donald lacks the foreign policy experience for a president, but in fairness, he  has spent years meeting  with leaders from  around the world. Miss Sweden. Miss Argentina. Miss Azerbaijan. And there’s one area where Donald’s experience could be invaluable and that’s closing Guantanamo, because Donald knows a thing or two about running waterfront properties into the ground.”

As for Ted Cruz who recently pointed out that a basketball hoop is really known as basketball ring. Obama on Ted: “He knows that baseball players use baseball sticks and football players use hats. And, they say I’m the foreign one!”

Stopping Trump

Many leaders of the Republican Party seek to halt the rise to power of one, Donald Trump. So, here are the scenarios for the Convention:

1. Bring back the always tough guy–Dick Cheney. He can out evil Cruz or Trump put together.

2. Bring back Don Rumsfeld. He already has a Donald in his name.

3. Republicans last one with a Bush in hand, just remember there is another  Bush in the forest of candidates.

4. No one gets upset at Ben Carson, OK, so he is sort of quiet, now that’s a big change from Donald.

5. Rick Perry is from Texas, Texas has a border with Mexico, and Rick also now wears glasses which certainly makes him come across as Presidential.

6. Of course, if Republicans really want a candidate who is  perceptive and witty, there is always Rand Paul.

7, There is always one of the ex-wives of Donald Trump, who better knows this guy?

8. Now, if Republicans want a man who can out boast Donald Trump and shout louder there is alway Rudy Giuliani!

Cruz On Key Issues Of Today

I understand that Republican candidates for the presidency want to make America, Great Again. Finally, a fresh Republican voice is forcing his party to focus upon real, vital issues of modern life. Ted Cruz insists that he knows what mainly concerns the American people.

Is is the lack of good paying jobs? No.

Is it low paying jobs? No.

Is it Islamic terrorism? No.

Is it student debt? No.

Ted put the issue very clearly.  “This is not an matter of right or left, Democrat or Republican. This is common sense. It does not make sense for a grown adult man, strangers, to  be alone in a restroom with a little girl.” In other words most Americans go to bed each night worrying who they will encounter in a public restroom. Who really cares if he or she has a high paying job? Anyone with common sense knows the real issue of their life is who pisses or shits with them!

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 25 year old mind trapped in an 85 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

I think Republicans need Rudy Giuliani to save America just as he single-handedly did on 9/11.

Cruz and Fiorina– a match made in heaven!

In all honesty, Bernie left Brooklyn but Brooklyn never left Bernie.

Donald prefers being Donald to presidential.

A miracle that will never occur is a day of peace in Syria.

Republicans never explain what “Making America Great Again” means,great in which respect?

It becomes increasingly clear the only purpose of Republican primaries is to  help some folks sell their books.

At age 85, I somehow missed the meaning or purpose of the Kardashian age.

These days I have come to conclude that Hell is being forced to sit before a TV set listening to the Republican debates for ETERNITY!

My great regret this year is that Elizabeth Warren did not seek the presidency.

Republican Congresswoman Marsha Blackburn has identified the greatest threat confronting America– the Government wants to regulate our ceiling fans!

First they came for our health care, then they came for our light bulbs, then they came for our ceiling fans, and next, no doubt, is regulation of our toilet seats!!

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 25 year old mind trapped in an 85 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

Throughout the past hundred years America always winds up as an ally of incompetent dictators–just check Egypt.

I was really impressed when Carly sang a lullaby to the daughters of Ted Cruz, she certainly demonstrated her qualifications to be vice president.

I really do miss the silence of Ben Carson.

Of course, I also miss the interesting comments of Rand Paul–and he never shouts!

Ah, Bernie, the road show will soon be over.

I really look forward to the debate between Hillary and Donald. The mind vs the Mouth.

Say, whatever happened to Rick Perry–is he still alive?

Donald On The World

I understand there might be a few out there in America who have yet to fall under the sway of Donald Trump, but when it comes to foreign policy,who can out think the mind of a man  who has built the Greatest Hotels in America,–heck,lets be honest–in the whole damn world! So,listen to this great thinker expound on the subject of world affairs:

1. Who the hell needs NATO? OK, it has been around for seventy  years, but we now need NEW Ideas.

2. I intend to bomb the hell out of ISIS just before I have America cease getting involved in the Middle East.

3.  So,who the hell cares if Japan or South Korea or even Saudi Arabia gets an Atomic bomb, we got more of them than anyone else.

4. Me and Putin or Putin and Me can run the whole damn world!

5. And, just remember that Great, Great Wall!

Lucifer From Texas

Ted Cruz does  enjoy being the  hero of many alienated Americans who want to make America GREAT AGAIN. Few seeking the nomination to become President can match the record of Ted who once was a noted college debater –and– he attended TWO Ivy League colleges!! However, for some strange reason, little Teddie is just not the apple of his Senate colleagues eyes. Former House Speaker, John Boehner described him as “Lucifer in the flesh.” However, he also went on with some praise for this dynamic man: “I have never worked with amore miserable son of a bitch in my life.”

Now, if Republicans want the team that can make America Great Again, how about a Donald and Ted duo who can out shout and out insult any team of Democrats? Just think, the perfect team–Lucifer and a budding Vladimir Putin!

Donald Plays Man Card

As everyone knows by now, Donald Trump is sick and tired of Hillary coming across as the great defender of women. He believes it is time for him to play the man card and wipe out Hillary as a candidate.

1. When elected he will make as his first law a requirement for every husband to place his wife’s name in a lottery and Donald personally will hump her.

2. Donald has promised to only appoint white males to his Cabinet–if women want Hillary, then suffer the consequences.

3. Donald will challenge President Vladimir Putin to a bull shit session in which the one who makes the most and loudest threats wins the other’s country.

4. Donald will challenge Hillary Clinton on TV to a fucking contest to determine who can continue fucking the longest!

5. Donald personally will waterboard any Muslim terrorist until he drowns or talks!

6. Donald will challenge Hillary Clinton to a shouting contest, the loudest and crudest wins the election!

7. If Ted Cruz wants to run as his vice president,then he has to perform oral sex. Of course, Christ Christie already is the personal valet of Donald.

So, Hillary, bring on the women!

Terrorists Strike Again!

There is no doubt that ISIS and other terrorist militants have diverted attention to the Middle East in order to disguise their real objective of destruction. NO, they are not seeking to destroy the World Trade Center nor plant bombs in subways or send terrorist squads to murder children in schools. NO, they have more important targets to damage in order to end the ability of the western world to end wars in the Middle East.

A recent video caught terrorists in action right out in the middle of the day! The video clearly showed a man brutally sexually attacking  a pregnant –not a woman–NO, a pregnant SEAL. Firs the terrorists came for the seals, then they came for the sharks, then they came for the whales –and guess who  was then on their list— your wife, your daughter or your grandmother!!

There are reports that Donald Trump has promised to build a Wall, a  huge wall on the beaches of every waterfront in the world and he personally will save the whales. He dares Hillary Clinton to protect female seals!!