Category Archives: Christianity

Putin Offers Human Rights Award

At a time when the world is being convulsed by terror and abuse of people, one man, one nation, stands out in the fight for human rights–RUSSIA! President Putin has created a special prize for those fighting to defend human rights. This reporter was able to gain further information about this prize.

1. The prize will go to anyone in Eastern Ukraine who kills a bad person for peace.

2. There is a special prize for the person who beats up gays, lesbians, and sexual deviants.

3. There is also a new category for those brave enough to defend the policies of President Putin in the Ukraine, in Crimea, and so on.

4. There is another category referring to music. Anyone who can drown out the music of Pussy Riot, wins a prize for heroism.

My question: if this was truly a prize for Human Rights, why not give all the prizes to the Prime Minister whose name is unknown, let alone his voice!

Hillary: Keep Up With Your Plan

Hillary Clinton may not be a Bernie Sanders but she is coming across as a candidate who is willing to offer concrete ideas to the American people. Just ignore the email discussion and continue offering ideas such as dealing with Student Debt. How about a few other ideas:

1. Offer 18 year olds free college education if they give two years to the country. They could join the Armed Forces or work with the elderly or in schools. Just give rather than take from America.

2. Raise the Social Security tax to include ALL income. Why should someone earning $600,000 only pay 1% of his salary while those earning $116,000 pay over 5%?

3. Establish an Infrastructure Bank funded by a 10 cent increase in gas tax to fund rebuilding America.

4. Fund police forces which return to cops walking the neighborhood instead of driving through one.

5. Increase tax rates by a factor of 10%, it is time for the wealthy to pay as they used to.

But, continue fighting for America.

Donald, Donald, Donald

Since I am a nice guy it is necessary to offer a few kind words to Donald Trump the next time he finds himself in a debate.

1. If asked to pledge loyalty to the Republican Party: ‘Megyn, I am an American first, last and always. As an American, my first responsibility is to this nation, not to the Republican party. I have an obligation to vote for the best candidate for America. I will always use that criteria in deciding how to vote. If the best candidate is a Republican, that person will get my vote. Where did you get the idea the Republican Party comes before America!”

2. When asked about attitudes toward women: “Megyn,just check the females at Fox News. There is not a single one who is obese, not a single one who is plain looking. Most are blond and gorgeous. And, you claim that I insult women! Heck, the only reason you gorgeous blonds are hired is because you can look cute and read the cue cards. At least I hire women who have brains!”

3.On my money: “Megyn, I demand that you ask each candidate to pledge that he or she will not take money from the Koch brothers or other wealthy donors. If they do, each must inform the American people what they promised for that money!”

Advise To Republicans

I thought it might be neighborly of me to offer a few words of friendly advice to those running for president as Republicans.

Mike Huckabee: Mike,there is job opening at Tucker’s Used Car Dealership in Hope,Arkansas. They need a fast talking man who can spout bullshit as long as cars are sold.

Rudy Giuliani: Rudy, you are the only man in America who can stand up to Donald Trump. The sound of two hot air specialists would warm the hearts of all Republicans. Just imagine you and Donald on the stage all by yourselves!

Marco Rubio: You continue insisting that “I am not a scientist.” Since I am your buddy, I have purchased a place in a college course in science so you can, at least argue, I have yet to complete my science course.

Jeb Bush: How about promising that if you get the nomination you will go to Mexico and face down the drug lords?

Scott Walker: Scott,we now know that you are a Catholic. From now on have by your side a Rabbi and a Priest.

Rick Perry: Rick, I just don’t think the glasses make you come across as wise. How about a clown face?

Just Picking Up Medicine

Charnesia Corley hopped in her car and headed to get some medicine for her sick mother. That is how her criminal career began. She did not make a full stop at a Stop Sign–how many have done that every day? Raise your hands. She was pulled over in a parking lot, the police “smelled something funny” and proceeded to check her car for marijuana. She was told to lie on the ground and pull her pants down–IN PUBLIC! She responded: “Well ma’am, I don’t have any underwear on.” Response: “Well, that doesn’t matter. Pull your pants down.” She was then placed under arrest for “resisting arrest and possession of 0.2 ounces of marijuana.

If every woman in America who was arrested and forced to pull her pants down, we would have a line from coast to coast of women displaying their naked bodies. Just about every one who has driven a car has not made the full stop at the Stop Sign. At worse, we wind up with a ticket and pay the $25 fine. This incident occurred in –where else but Texas. If Texans are so damned concerned about illegal people entering the state why not quit worrying about Stop Signs and head for the border!!

OATH KEEPERS ARRIVE

Imagine that a group of men just arrived in Ferguson, Missouri who had come to assist in the quest for law and order. They are carrying rifles, dressed in armor and wear camouflage. These men checked in with local police in order to make clear their goal was law and order. John Karriman, “we checked in with law enforcement when we got there and told them what we were doing.” Oh, the men were WHITE MEMBERS OF OATH KEEPERS! This is a right wing group of former members of the police force or the military. Even as they walked the streets of Ferguson, black males were being harassed. A group of three black men standing by a salon were frisked for weapons–none were found.

How in hell can white vigilantes walk the streets of Ferguson armed with weapons and no police halt them, not frisk them, they are left alone. Just imagine black men armed with rifles and dressed in armor in the streets of Ferguson. Have the police lost their minds!!What the hell is going on in America!

Jeb Bushed By Events

During the recent Great Debate, Jeb Bush stood out by not standing out. He had all the impact of one who already has his $100,000,000 and believes that God in His wisdom believes the Bush family is entitled to become a President. In reality, since announcing his candidacy,Jeb has not caused any impact on the race, but stands on the stage with a look akin to the deer caught in the headlight of an oncoming car. He DOES look serious, he Does come across as someone who has no idea why these other people are on HIS stage. Frankly,he does not give a damn about Donald Trump nor does he even know that Marco Rubio is also from the state of Florida.

The only reaction from members of the media is his inability to confront the War in Iraq. OH, sorry, he now admits it was a MISTAKE. Jeb is the only Republican candidate who makes Hillary Clinton come across as a fighter for something. Let me summarize his platform:

1. We have to do something about the Middle East.

2. We spend too much money on women. How about a few bucks for the Koch brother?

3. I do not like the Affordable Care Act. I will eventually inform America about health care.

4. Student Debt? Never heard of this.

5. Hispanics? I married one.

Anyway,Mom and Dad are on my side.

Shootings In Texas

There is no new news to report,it is Tuesday and yesterday,just like the day before and the week before, someone shot someone in the state of Texas. In the Houston area police discovered the bodies of five children and two adults, they were shot and murdered,not by any black dude, not by any Mexican wetback who swam across the river to take my job, but by a God fearing white Anglo-Saxon man. The police have yet to release information about the man other than noting he had a record of domestic violence including beating up children.

The state of Texas insists that people have the right to enter schools with guns, to enter churches with guns, to enter movie theaters with guns, to walk the street with their gun in locked position, and, I assume in government buildings including the state legislature. If not, we need a new law to protect gun rights, just check the 2nd Amendment which clearly states the guns are allowed to be carried into the Governor’s office. Of course,the Governor of Texas is already well armed in case some Mexican wetback is seen on the premises.

I have just one question: Does God carry a concealed weapon on his trips around the universe?

Marco Stands For Life!

Marco Rubio is a nice young man with a wife and kids. He is also a Catholic and feels the need to behave according to the dictates of his religion. “I personally and deeply believe that all human life is worthy of the protection of the laws. I believe irrespective of the conditions under which that life was conceived or anything else.”In other words, Senator Rubio does NOT believe in the laws of the United States of America because the US Supreme Court has ruled that abortion is a right of a woman. When it comes to issues of rape or incest, the Senator does not believe in exceptions.

I hate to inform Senator Rubio but our FOUNDING FATHERS did NOT believe that your personal religious belief took precedent over the laws of the land They wanted complete separation of state and religion. Actually, most of our Founding Fathers were Deists who did not want any religion to impose its ideas upon the people of America.

Marco you always boast about how your ancestors came from Cuba, but this is NOT a Catholic nation.

Black Lives Don’t Matter

Perhaps, there will come a day when a black person will not be shot by a member of a police force, but then again, perhaps, that day will never arrive. The same old story occurred in the same old place-where else but in the state of Texas. A young black college student for one reason or another drove his car into a car dealer and sort of behaved as though he was drunk. Naturally, any teen black boy who does not walk or talk or act according to the laws of Texas must be handled as though a Muslim terrorist. Christian Taylor is dead. Shot four times by a 48 year old new cop named Brad Miller. Why a 48 year old is training to become a policeman is simply beyond my ability to ascertain.

Brad unloaded four bullets into the body of Mr. Taylor while his fellow officer fired a Taser. Why the Taser was only used, God knows!Two cops, two police officers, two men with weapons against a college kid and the only solution is four bullets. I am certain the answer to my questions are:

1. We felt threatened by his behavior.

2. We did not know whether or not he would vomit all over our clean uniforms.

BLACK LIVES DO NOT MATTER IN THE STATE OF TEXAS!