Category Archives: Christianity

Truth About Jade Helm 15!

Fortunately for those who read these words, I am the only person on this planet who knows the real story about Jade Helm 15. I do realize Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz and other Republicans have questioned the reason for this military exercise by I know what is behind this so-called military experience. Following is my discussion with Gor Xul, the secret agent for Xullians currently on planet Earth:

M: So, tell me, Gor, what about this Jade Helm 15?

G: Fred, as you know Jade Helm is the name of our beloved leader on Xul.

M: Nope, did not know that.

G: Our master, Jade Helm 15 has decided that it is time to cease fooling around on this strange planet and take over.

M: Do you mean that Marco and Ted and Republicans are right that this exercise means the end of Texas as a free nation?

G: We decided that it was time to aid you backward life forms and put an end to the monstrosity known as the state of Texas.

M: So, you don’t like Texans?

G: I doubt there is any intelligent life form in the universe who regards Texans as intelligent life forms.

M: So, what exactly is Jade Helm 15?

G: We have located a deserted planet in the universe and will transport one and all Texans to it. There they can shoot one another until they are all gone from the universe.

M: So, where does President Obama fit into this story?

G: Oh, you mean Jade Helm 3, our representative on planet Earth. Sorry Fred, he was NOT born in Africa!

Who Are These Cops?

Like most Americans I was raised with some sort of respect for those who place their lives on the line every day. Being a policeman is not the easiest of jobs, and it requires not merely physical ability but some knowledge of the human mind. A few days ago two policemen came across a woman who was in a stolen car. Alesia Christian has usually been involved in some form of criminal activity since there is something about stealing and daring police that provides an uplift to her life. She is a black woman. Of course, who cares what is her color of skin, but in these days being black is the easy way to go to jail or just get killed. Police officers, Jeffrey Cook and Omar Thyme also had black skins and the trio were living in the city of Atlanta.

At this point the story becomes somewhat bizarre. NO, Ms.Christian did not die. She was handcuffed with her hands behind her back. She was placed in the back of the patrol car. Within a few moments, she had freed her hand, and somehow produced a gun which she fired. Just how a prisoner whose hands were handcuffed behind her back was allowed to enter a patrol car without being checked for weapons is simply beyond my imagination. Anyway, no one is dead. Why is the question??

My Dream

There are moments when I dream of seeing a line of Republican candidates discussing their ideas for the United States of America. Some desire to see comedy on television, I desire to see comedy in real life. Just imagine the dialogue between Mike Huckabee and Ted Cruz! I would cherish the idea of Marco Rubio once again standing up for Israel. Of course, does he even know where that country is located, let alone knowing that 20% of its citizens are Muslims or Christians. You know, he so loves Christians as long as they don’t challenge them Jews in Israel. Of course on the stage if one woman, you know, the woman who was fired for being incompetent by Hewlett Packard, but she now wants to get fired by the American people for being incompetent.

I do admire Rand Paul who once upon a time wanted to reduce the amount spent on military spending but after a session with Sheldon Adelson, realized that would men less money for Israel,the land he so loves. Then again, there is always Doctor Ben Carson who does not believe we humans could ever understand anything about a brain since God alone knows such stuff. Imagine him operating on my brain! Perhaps, we should line up this group and have them dance and sing. It would be more entertaining then anything they could say.

On with the show. America awaits this performance!

Black Helicopters In The Sky!!

Decent hard working Christian Americans for years have been warning about a take-over of our nation by evil forces pretending to be on the side of democracy and our Constitution. But, since the election of a black dude from the African nation of Kenya, this nation has been going down and down. The reason each household has to possess several weapons including rocket launchers and grenades is that every night there is the possibility of black clad storm troopers knocking down our door, rapine our wife, daughter or niece while we are forced to watch this horror. Finally, the truth is emerging. The US armed forces are conducting military exercises they term, Jade Helm 15 in the state of Texas. It is clear this so called, “exercise” is simply a ploy to allow these black clad storm troopers to take over the government of Texas, and then enter each and every house in order to strip us of our guns? Listen to the bull-shit coming from the US Army: “Jade Helm is simply a challenging eight week training exercise for unconventional warfare.” The only goal of this “exercise” is to gain control of Texas –the state that leads America in protecting our gun rights.

First they conducted a “training exercise.”

Then they entered our homes and took possession of our guns.

Then they ripped up our Constitution and made Barack Obama dictator for life.

Then they gave power to Michelle Obama to control which foods we ate.

Then they made being a Christian a crime against the state.

Then they made being gay or lesbian mandatory for all men and women.

Then, they instituted Shariah law.

Please, please, Jesus destroy these evil creatures!!

Bibi Ready For Action, I Think

Israel Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu once again warned the people of Earth about the evil folks living in Iran. “The greatest challenge is Iran’s attempt to arm herself with nuclear weapons, and itvs parallel to open fronts of terror and occupation throughout the Middle East around our borders. Let me warn you about an even greater threat to peace in the Middle East. Examine the record of this nation:

1. It has at least 80 atomic bombs.

2. It does not allow UN inspectors into its nuclear sites.

3. Since 1948 it has launched invasions at least six times.

4. It violates UN and international laws without backing down from its actions.

5. It has a powerful theocracy that exerts strong control over the country.

6. During its last invasion its military forces killed 1500 innocent civilians.

Oh, the country is obviously–ISRAEL.

I support the idea of a nation named Israel as long as it lives up to its founding principles of justice for all and working for peace.

Oh, for the record, the nation of Iran since 1979 has never invaded another Middle Eastern nation.

Conversations With Izanians

I have been in contact for decades with some representatives from the planet of Izan. It is located light years away from this minor planet. I asked my friends for their reaction to Republican candidates fro president.

Ted Cruz: You are not joking, are you? He really attended what you term to be a prestigious university? So, what do inferior universities produce?

Mike Huckabee: He appears sort of out-of-shape to combat any foreign soldiers, doesn’t he? On the planet of Izan we term such people, “those who speak the wind, and fart from the ass.”

Ms.Fiorina: Let me get this straight. She was fired from running a corporation and has never even been elected dog catcher and she wants to rule your land? On Izan, one must have previously been elected head dog catcher before seeking a position dealing with intelligent life forms.

Rand Paul: He appears to have a tendency to say one thing on Monday and another thing on Friday. On Izan, we term such life forms: “One who can not make up his mind.”

Jeb Bush: He looks sort of tired and is for something but it is unclear what he desires. OH, we do know he desires to be this president.

Marco Rubio: For some reason he has a deep affection for the people of Israel. He does not look very Jewish or is it the money of this evil looking creature, Sheldon Adelson that prompts his comments?

The question posed by my contacts on Izan is what ever happened to Sarah Palin. They found her delightfully weird. They know she does not know anything about planet Earth, but she is very good at looking out of her window and seeing Siberia. In terms of gazing, she is superior to anyone on Izan. They also miss Herman Cain and that man from Texas who does not even know who is in the Cabinet.

By the way, they really want to meet this guy named God who everyone loves.

So, Who Should Govern England?

Boris Johnson who is a member of the Conservative party and a well known politician offered some advice to the people of England regarding who they should vote for this coming week. He informed members of a Conservative club that if any Englishmen wants to have prosperity in his native land there is only one way to vote. “If they want Britain to be a strong independent nation, if they want Britain to lead in Europe, if they want an economy that is dynamic and is competitive, and is based on the spirit of enterprise, then they should vote Conservative.” He also assures the people of England that if they want to end economic inequality then their choice must be a member of the Conservative party.

I am confused. Prime Minister David Cameron is a Conservative. He has a majority in Parliament, and he has been in power for years. So, why hasn’t he ended economic inequality? Why hasn’t he fostered a spirit of enterprise and unleashed the power of business to make England competitive. I also hear him making comments about whether or not England should remain in the European Union. If England leaves it, how can Britain lead Europe?? British Conservatives are conservatives and their primary focus is upon Business and the financial sector of the country. That is the reality of ALL Conservatives, all over the world!

Just A Family Stroll

The United States of America has become the leading nation in the world in terms of who is allowed to have guns. Actually, there are now more guns in the possession of Americans than there are people in this land. Each year about 30,000 people in America die at the hands of someone who has a gun. At most, perhaps ten of those who died were killed by a “terrorist.” Those who die are the innocent. The Stoffel family in Menosha, Wisconsin, decided to go out for a stroll. How can going out for a walk lead to death? Oh, I forgot, they were walking in the United States of America. It was a beautiful day and just as they began to cross a bridge, the latest nut case, 27 year old veteran, Sergio Daniel del Toro began to fire away with his rapid firing weapon of death. By the time he finished with this afternoon of death, mom was dead along with one of her daughters.

The police arrived, they blasted away at del Toro, and he was wounded. As the police chief noted: “they were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.” Unfortunately, in modern America EVERY PLACE IS THE WRONG PLACE AND EVERY TIME IS THE WRONG TIME!!

Oh, and the murderers are always Christians!

Oh, Am I Tough!

It has has now become the accepted approach by all Republican candidates for president to display a verbal toughness to any and all evil forces in the world. Mike Huckabee promised that Iran would never get an atomic bomb and he is ready to do something about that future event. His words of defiance, promise of military action, are simply what each and every person seeking the presidency as a Republican is promising the American people. This is one group of really tough warriors who are ready to dispatch Americans into dangerous combat at the drop of a hat. As I recall, a few years ago there was a Republican president who was gung ho for war and destruction. Remember how he stood on an aircraft carrier with the announcement: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

Not a single one of these Republicans has ever tested the horror of war. Rick Perry did serve in the military but never got close to anyone firing back at him. Yes, Mike, you are one tough dude. However, if you desire to bomb Iran, the people doing the bombing will not be named, Mike Huckabee. Some will die but you will be the one who talks about war and death. It is time for Republicans to send their own children into harm’s way before sending other young people to their deaths.

The main issue today is: Jaw, Jaw, Not War, War!

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 24 year old mind trapped in an 84 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

I assume the main qualification for running for president is to have never taken a science course.

Republicans insist they must end the IRS and increase military spending. I guess Houdini is their main secret weapon.

Oh, for a day in this world without a shot being fired!

We now have two doctors running for president. How about two turtle doves?

There ought to be a law requiring anyone running for president to speak softly.

I so miss the peace of night falling without violence in the world

Just think, in twenty years a Clinton and a Bush running for president!