I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to visit Santa in the North Pole. He had asked what I want for Xmas, and my reply was to chat with the man who is actually beloved by members of the Tea Party and Barack Obama.
M: So, Santa, is there anything different about this Christmas from previous ones?
S: Well, to tell the truth it has been a rough one. Can you imagine what it is like getting this sleigh across open water when in the old days we had gobs of snow?
M: I hope you are not like those Socialist Liberals always complaining about the sol-called global warming?
S: Santa cares about all folks, whether or not they be liberals, socialists, or wealthy.
M: So, what did you bring to those working on Wall Street?
S: Actually,nothing. They already got their Xmas present in November. Bonuses and new laws to prevent them from paying any taxes.
M: Are you against those job creators?
S: Well, it would sort of help if we Santas got some health benefits, carrying those loads is mighty tough on my back.
M: I have always wondered if Santa ever got angry at anyone?
S: Have you ever dealt with little Teddie Cruz, he gets so angry if I leave some presents at the homeless shelter. He claims I am encouraging laziness and giving the money of those with wealth to a bunch of bums who live off the work of others. A real gem is little Teddie.
M: How do you feel about President Obama?
S: That is one curious dude. He could use a present of a good speech writer. I call him the Great Miscommunicator.
M: Anything for Vladimir Putin?
S: Vodka and a muzzle for his mouth is the best I can do.
M: Anything for Sarah Palin or Ms. Bachmann?
S: A bear to wrestle for Sarah and a history book for the woman who could use a bit of knowledge.
M: What can I get for you?
S: Snow would help.