Category Archives: Judaism

Jeb Bush Reflects

I hopped down to Texas in order to chat with Jeb Bush who was spending the weekend with the Bushes scrambling through bushes in search of one sent by God. Anyway, I caught up with Jeb and he offered me his observations on wha tis happening in the Republican party.

“Well, Fred, my party, the party of dad and my brother has become shambles run by the head Idiot who only knows how to shout and scream hate and violence. Could you imagine what Abraham Lincoln or Theodore Roosevelt must think about this collection of yokels who have no idea what is occurring in the world. I have a hunch  there are many Republicans who believe the word was flooded and good ole Noah saved the entire planet with his spacious wooden boat.

According to Donald my daughter or son are not eligible to become judges since their mom was born in Mexico. Perhaps, I should contact Donald and receive special dispensation to run for dog catcher in our home town. I am living through the second coming of Barry Goldwater who in 1964 ensured the victory of Lyndon Johnson.

How the hell did MY party get persuaded by this two-bit con man and his nutty ideas? Of course, Democrats got conned by the white haired guy who shouts and waves his arms. The funny part is that Ronald Reagan would not get elected chief of police in a small town since these characters believe Reagan was a LIBERAL!”

You’re A Racist

The good news from the Trump headquarters is that he is making clear day after day the new Republican agenda on how to deal with Hispanic rapists and Muslim terrorists. So, I interviewed the red headed guy:

M: So,Mr.Trump, are critics who charge you are a racist telling the truth?

D: Let me ask you a question: You get sued  by a Muslim and the judge is Muslim, would you feel comfortable with that setup?

M: Donald, is your comment one that only a racist would utter?

T: The real racist is the person who says that  Muslim terrorist judge should be allowed to supervise a trial of a decent American Christian

M: So, anyone who says that it is impossible for an Hispanic or a Muslim to be the judge when the trial deals with God fearing Christian Americans– is the real Racist!

T: Right on, Fred. Now you understand those who despise Muslims and Hispanic rapists are the true Americans and those who oppose them are the true Rapists!

M: So, if I labeled what you just wrote means that I am the racist!

T:  Fred, boy are you a slow learner. Have you considered enrolling in Trump University and,not only becoming a millionaire but finally becoming the non-racists in America.

M: So, YOU are the guy who fights racism and Hillary is the broad who is the real Racist in this election!!

 

 

 

 

Women Finally Can Be Women

I was born in 1930 at a time when the women in my life either “helped out at the store” of spent their hours at home with the children. The idea that women in my east European Jewish family could or should, be allowed to proceed on to college was simply never considered. It was the role of at least ONE boy to become a lawyer or doctor or some sort of professional. Although I lived in the most liberal congressional district in America the concept of women in politics, let alone business or medicine–nurse, OK–was never considered a possibility.

I watched and listened to Hillary Clinton talk about national and world affairs and felt the tears running down my face. YES, we have come a long, long way from the time of my mom trying to clean a cockroach ridden apartment, and urging her daughter to find a “nice man” who would ensure that she had a meaningful life. Hillary represents the right of women to walk on the stage of the world and lead it!

Space Ship To Anywhere

Imagine if you had the power to send any ten Earth leaders on a space ship bound for the ends of the universe, who would you select?

1. Vladimir Putin who would quickly show any alien not to mess with him before being thrown down with hisKarate skills.

2. President Assad of Syria who would show any alien that he can survive regardless of how unlikely his chances.

3. Queen Elizabeth who will live on and on and on forever in any alien climate.

4. Pope Francis will do OK in case JESUS shows up!

5.  Robert Mugabe is the ultimate African dictator who will last forever and a day anywhere.

6. Chancellor Merkel of Germany will soon become popular when she offers a home in Germany for any alien who is able to get there.

7. Xi Xinping of China who will quickly take  over the alien Internet organization and ensure his line is now the official planet line.

8. President Maduro of Venezuela could show any alien planet how to go bankrupt in three easy lessons.

9. David Cameron of the UK, will convince aliens to remain in the EU.

10. Donald Trump, of course he will build the Greatest Wall that will prevent Earthians from raping and taking jobs away from Aliens!

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 25 year old mind trapped in an 85 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

Came across a description of a Swedish political figure: “sad man without ideas.” I think there are dozens of American politicians who fit this bill.

At least Americans are united on the need to save gorillas. As to poor people, not so united.

I must confess some respect for the Bush family which refuses to support Trump.

I have a hunch that a few million will vote for the Libertarian candidate.

Whatever happened to politicians saying, “I made a mistake?”

It is great news when Iraq soldiers actually fire their weapons –at anyone!

So, is it Mitt Romney in 2010?

 

Join The Trump Bandwagon

It was simply a matter of time before just about every key Republican who once regarded Donald Trump as the embodiment of stupidity and ignorance has now come around to praising the vulgar man from New York. Paul Ryan has been playing the Hamlet game for weeks insisting that he has yet to make up his mind. But, alas, it became clear that most Republicans were headed into the Trump camp, and, if by some miracle, Donald actually became president, he would take revenge on any who dared to oppose his nomination.

So, the new Ryan: “I feel comfortable he would  help  us turn the ideas in his agenda into laws that would help improve people’s lives. That’s why I’ll be voting for him this fall.”

In 1933, Ryan would have said about Adolf Hitler: “I feel comfortable he would help us turn the ideas in his agenda into law that would help improve people’s lives. That’s why I’ll be voting for him this fall.And, let me assure my Jewish constituents, that some of his best friends are Jews.”

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We  offer observations on the human experience from a 25 year old mind trapped in an 85 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

Now that a gorilla is a hero, who next, an elephant or donkey?

I await Donald Trump’s take on the gorilla issue. Will he promise to build a GREAT WALL to protect gorillas?

Hillary simply cannot escape some silly mistake she MUST make.

At least the Sanders people are not singing, “Onward Christian Soldiers Marching as to War”

Whatever happened to Ben Carson and his profound observations on life?

These days in major league baseball a player hits 220 and makes five million, which is more than Babe Ruth earned in his lifetime. Something wrong about  this?

American Tragedy: Elizabeth Warren did not seek the presidency.

What Went Right For Bernie?

Unlike Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders has touched into the emotions and desires of millions of young people. So, what went right for him?

1. He focuses upon needs of  young Americans-debt and jobs

2. He speaks as though he really knows his economic figures.

3. He attacks the wealthy who right now are the most hated group in America.

4. He promises “millions of jobs,” who can dislike that?

5. He is an old white haired man and thus a father figure for youth.

6. He was unknown to 98% of Americans so constitutes a ‘new’ voice.

7. He is from Vermont, an unknown state lacking any  scandals.

8. He refused to discuss the infamous emails.

9. He waves his arms with utter abandon when speaking.

10. He is a Jew who never refers to his Judaism-thus, a man of all religions.

 

Gaze Into The Future

We offer exclusive predictions concerning what will occur in the political world after the coming presidential election.

Governor Chris Christie has been given assurances by Donald Trump that after he wins this November, Chris will resign as governor  of New Jersey to become the Chief Valet and supervisor of all domestic staff in the White House.

Ted Cruz has already been promised the post of new head of the Border Patrol and the right to wear shiny black boots and carry two guns  on his belt

Regardless of whether she wins or loses, Hillary will on January 1, 2017 will announce formation of the Chelsea in 2024 Committee!

Mike Huckabee has nailed down the post of Chief Pastor of the Congress and each session will begin with him offering a prayer. No Muslim congressman will be allowed at these prayer sessions.

Bernie Sanders will continue his fight for American youth by leading the campaign for free lunches for all college students and a guarantee of an ‘A’ grade in each course. Oh, anyone who earns over $1,000,000 will be restricted to ‘C’ grades.

Marco Rubio has nailed down the job of head of water bottles in the White House.

Carly Fiorina will become Chief of all firing of staff.

John Kasich will retire as governor of Ohio to open a classy restaurant so he can eat all day long.

 

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 25 year old mind trapped in an 85 year old mind.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

Hatred is on the rise throughout the world, spurred on by scenes of refugees.

OK, Americans, I have this product which makes you twenty  years younger, and I hate Obama, so buy it!

Reality– our governments at all  levels have become dysfunctional.

Is there a single nation in this world  that is led by an intelligent person?

Between 1890 and 1924 over twenty million refugees entered America and we became an even greater society.

Young Jews are abandoning formal Jewish organizations because Rabbis refuse to be critical thinkers.

Is there any problem that Donald cannot solve with one shout of his voice??