Category Archives: Satire

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 24 year old mind trapped in an 84 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

Mystery of Life: Why do people adorn bodies with Tattoos?

At age 84 I increasingly stumble when walking.

There comes a point in life when all one can say is, “that’s life”

Pain in a heel ensures that one walks with difficulty.

Fear not the dawn, it just signifies another day of work.

I so miss running.

Our government increasingly resembles the gang that could not shoot straight.

For some, mother is in the face of the daughter.

Unfortunately, for some the body of mom is the body of daughter.

Some slap knee when others depart.

HEADLINES FROM WORLD PRESS

We offer samples of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

UK, Guardian” “Snow And Ice Alert”

I will skip this story.

France, Connexion: “Should We Say, Je Suis Ahmed?”

Heck, add whatever you want after, Je Suis!

Norway, Norway Post: “Norwegians Don’t Shop On Sundays”

Nor, do they go to church on Sundays.

Canada, Toronto Star: “News You May Have Missed”

Republicans were silent one night this week. Guess why?

Russia, Moscow Times: “Diesel Ban”

I guess that means no diesel cocktails tonight.

Ukraine, Another Sad Story

As the child of a father who spent his life in the fields of Ukraine, that nation has always provided me a warm spot of concern. Of course, being aJew was not the best thing in a land in which members of that religion all too often found a grave at the hands of Germans or members of Ukraine militia who hated all Russians and Yids. But, a Ukraine farmer did save my pop’s life so I must have some warm feelings for those Ukrainians who now suffer at the hands of Vladimir Putin and his buddies chanting hatred of Ukraine’s government. Ukraine is a complex place in which the majority of people hate Russians, but there are also many who recall with fondness the good old days of Soviet communism. Vladimir Putin has sent thousands of Russian soldiers, oops, Russian “volunteers” have crossed the border in order to protect Ukrainians from their own government.

President Porshenko now estimates that at least a thousand Soviet, oops, I mean, “Russian” soldiers with modern tanks and weapons are fighting alongside rebel groups. He also notes the presence of tanks and artillery. This is part of the Putin plan to seize as much of the Ukraine for the Soviet, oops, I mean, the nation of Russia. No NATO troops will arrive, and the task of maintaining the land of Ukraine is only in the hands of Ukrainians. Frankly, it is doubtful if they can prevent a division of their land. Such is the situation in dear old Ukraine.

Putin Land Is Always Right

I doubt if members of the Republican Party of the USA recognize how their behavior towards President Obama is similar to the behavior of our Great and Wise Leader, Vladimir Putin. Putin and his lackeys are upset at the American leader because he is supporting the right of people in Ukraine to have their own form of government. Putin is also very angry that anyone, and when he says, anyone, that means anyone, would dare to challenge his actions about anything. His Foreign Minister, Sergei Lavrov, made clear that the real terrorist regime in the world is –AMERICA! According to Lavrov: “The Americans have chosen a path toward confrontation, and do not evaluate their own steps critically. Yesterday’s address by President Obama stated that the central principle of the United States philosophy is based on one thing: that we we are right and everybody has to recognize that.”

Ironically, there is some truth in what Lavrov said. For over a decade American leaders insist they are right and all Muslim are wrong. However, Mr. Lavrov would make a stronger point if he also said that everything he charges America with doing is similar to everything that his boss, Vladimir Putin is doing. Vladimir Putin is just as right as American leaders who claim to always be on the side of God as they blunder into one land after another. How about Putin and Obama taking a lunch together to discuss how they agree?

What Obama Never Understood

Barack Obama has spent the past six years struggling to get the American people to support his ideas. From day one of his administration the President has never displayed a sense of American history since he has never provided evidence that he studied the actions of prior presidents who confronted severe economic problems. Newt Gingrich recently stated that President Franklin D. Roosevelt was the best political leader of the twentieth century. Does anyone ever recall any statement by Barack Obama about how FDR handled the economic crisis we know as the Depression? Since Obama never learned anything from Roosevelt it is clear that his actions have resulted in giving Republicans control of large sectors of our political scene. So, what could he have done to avoid this calamity?

First, Obama could have grasped that a recession impacts all sectors of society. The person who lacks a job, the person whose wages are down, business leaders, small town people, young men and women. In other words, it is just as important as addressing banking and Wall Street issues as it is to meet the needs of those in pain and increasing poverty. FDR waited two years before pushing through Social Security while Barack Obama made health care the MOST important issue. Obama now talks about free community college programs but there was not a single program for young people in 2009! He now talks about infrastructure programs but this was not a focus in 2009.

FDR’s program addressed farmers, unemployed people, young people, reform of banking and Wall Street, women and children. He included the elderly in various relief programs but did not make his entire program based on their needs. During a Depression, leaders must address the IMMEDIATE needs of a wide spectrum of people, not just health care. For example, Obama lost the support of young people who had been enthusiastic about his candidacy. He never did anything about Student Debt! During the past election, students just ignored him. Why support someone who bailed out the banks but never bailed them out when they confronted student debt? He never bailed out people who watched their homes decline in wealth. But, he did bail out General Motors.

Barack Obama lacked any program that would meet the needs of ALL Americans. He focused upon Wall Street, he focused upon Banks, but nothing was offered to those who lacked wealth. THAT is the reason why Republicans won in Congressional elections in 2010 and 2014!

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 24 year old mind trapped in an 84 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

A boss at a meeting speaks with the voice of truth.

Sometimes the short road takes a long time to reach a desired destination.

On arriving late one must wave hands in greeting.

To write is to live forever.

If I wipe the table clean then I am a job destroyer.

Old time gangsters were more interesting than modern gangsters.

I dislike looking up to tall men. Makes me feel short.

In my childhood I wore a white tee shirt in the summer.

Sometimes, to glance backwards is to see ahead.

One must accept with grace the reality there are things we will never know.

Why Islamophobia?

I am now 84 years old and during my existence on this planet have been compelled to endure fear of many forms of evil. As a child I had nightmares of Christian Nazis who would come to America and murder this little Jewish boy. Then came the Russian Communists who soon were followed by the North Korean and Chinese Communists. In all honesty, I never feared any Muslims, after all they had not murdered six million Jews as had European Nazis. So, today, I am told to fear Muslims since they are out to murder and kill. Actually, if one added up all the humans killed by Muslims since 2001 that total would be less than the number of people killed in one week by Russian or Chinese Communists.

So, why this wild fear of Muslims?

1. Muslim youth in Europe are trapped in poor paying jobs that offer no dream of a good life.

2. Too many Muslims are living in ghettoes where they live in slums and lack contact with non-Muslims.

3. Muslims wind up doing the dirty jobs of European societies.

4. Muslims are not attending integrated schools. Then again, European schools have done a terrible job of aiding Muslim students succeed.

5. Muslim imams have failed to teach the meaning of their religion. They have allowed imams of hate to take over the religious education of youth.

6. Throw in social media which makes hate easier to spread.

7. And, definitely add the name of George Bush, Don Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney to the list of those who help create terror groups. P

Put these factors together and one winds up with hate, violence and fear.

The Cockroach On The Plate

I have spent my life working in the cause of human rights since my time in the US Army when I assisted in integrating the US Seventh Army in Germany. But, ever once and a while I encounter a story about “human rights” that blows my mind. This story appeared on Martin Luther King day, and I am certain if he was still alive this fighter for human rights would have grabbed the first plane to South Africa and stood shoulder to shoulder with two women who were willing to risk their very lives in order to further the cause of and end to bigotry in their land. Lesedi Mouche and a friend were sitting in a restaurant in Rosebank, South Africa when they noticed a cockroach on their luncheon plate.

Let me get this straight:

1.Two black women were in a restaurant.

2. The restaurant was owned by black people.

3. A cockroach appeared on the scene.

4. The two women are taking this case to the South African Human Rights Commission.

Ah, for the days when King confronted bullies and bigots, if only he had to confront cockroaches in his fight for equal rights. Then again, what about the rights of cockroaches!!

Banish Winter TV Blues

The onset of winter leads to a sense of the blues in those areas of the nation in which people must endure winter weather and snow. We offer some tips on how society can end the blues for those who must endure this form of despair:

1. No more TV shows in which Mike Huckabee declaims about the evil un-American folks who live on the west or east shows. Last night on Jon Stewart he insisted those on the coasts are not really true Americans. Sorry Mike, but a few million men from the east and west coasts risked their lives in World War II, the Korean War, and the war in Vietnam. Exactly what did the chubby minister of God ever do to help save America?

2. An end to Beyonce and her demanding body. Frankly, she turns me off with her pseudo sense of power.

3. I would be so happy watching a TV show in which Rupert Murdoch explains why he created Fox News for we Americans. Or, he can head home to Australia and pester those people.

4. Allow me to watch a football game on TV without having to hear those inane comments from the blond haired woman on the sidelines who thinks she knows something about a game she never played.

5. I would so love to go to the movies and watch a film in which there was an issue other than than walking zombies and ghouls.

Oh well, at least the snow is pleasant to look at.

HEADLINES FROM WORLD PRESS

We offer samples of headlines from the world press along with our comments.

France, Connexion: “New Donation Problem”

The 1% can only donate one percent of their wealth.

China, China Daily: “Arrest Man For Selling Unclean Pork”

You can’t blame this one on the Jews.

Turkey, Hurriyet: “Agatha Christie In Istanbul”

She was there but she didn’t commit the crime!

Sweden, Local: “Children’s Genital Story Goes Viral”

I will just piss on this story.

Japan, Japan Times: “Creatures From The Unknown”

A great description of the new American Congress.