Category Archives: Satire

Conversation With Rubio’s Alter Ego

There is considerable evidence if the debates reveal anything about the candidates that Marco Rubio has a set list of thoughts and words to express. We thought it might be beneficial to discuss him with his alter ego-the other Marco, you know, the reverse Rubio.

M: So, tell me Alter Marco, how would you describe your political thoughts on what must be done in this nation?

AE:  This election is about the Hillary Clinton emails, it is about the great tragedy  in Benghazi, it is about how Hillary Clinton is simply a female version of Barack Obama and they seek to destroy the very fabric of our society.

M:  That sounds very similar to what the real Marco Rubio says at each debate. Are you telling me that his alter ego has the same script?

AE: This election if about Hillary Clinton emails, it is about the tragedy of Benghazi,  it is about the buddy of Barack Obama, and it is about their plan to destroy the very basis of our society.

M: Gee, what you just said is what you just said a few moments ago.

AE: If you check both statements you will find different words used. How can it be a  script if I change some words?

M: So, I gather that you really don’t like any Democrat?

AE: This election is about Hillary emails and the debacle at Benghazi when she allowed over three Americans to die.  Emails and Benghazi are what is most troubling Americans and Marco Rubio will not allow liberals to silence his voice of reason!

Chris Christie Is Mad!

Chris Christie is a heavy set man, he is rather hefty and knows how to throw his weight around. It is best that when Chris gets upset, that any normal person make certain they are nowhere in his vicinity. The other night at the Republican debate, Chris sort of got sore at Marco Rubio. He accused Marco of having the same set message regardless of the time day or night. It sort of goes something like this:

“My parents are immigrants from Cuba who came to this great nation and worked themselves up. I love America. I love Iowa. I love the Republican party and I sure love  the dough that comes with running for president. The real enemy of America is NOT ISIS. The real enemy of America is Hillary Clinton. She is the  one responsible for Benghazi! The infamy of Benghazi is the worst disaster in American history and when I become president, the first person headed to jail is Hillary Clinton! OK, Pearl Harbor caused a few more deaths, but the deaths at Benghazi were ordered by Hillary Clinton. Elect me and send Hillary Clinton to prison!!”

NOBDY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 25 year old mind trapped in an 85 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

I think that Ben Carson believes ISIS is a skin rash.

With God  at his side, Ted Cruz is heading for the final battle of life.

Looks like John Kasich has taken votes from Jeb Bush in New Hampshire.

We need an early primary in a large state like New York or Illinois or California.

Some follow NBA box scores but in Chicago people follow crime death scores.

The real Republican question is what does Donald Trump do if Marco Rubio gets the nomination., Go quietly into night?

Strange quiet from Vladimir Putin but lots of noise from Russian bombs in Syria.

Am I the only one in America who does not know who or care what the Kardashians are?

Super Bowl is a super time to bash in heads and bodies.

Since 9/11 only 45 Americans died from terrorist attacks in the US, each month in Chicago, 50 die from violence. So, who REALLY is the threat?

Political promises of the spring turn into old dreams after the election.

I think God is on an extended vacation from visiting planet Earth.

 

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 25 year old mind trapped in an 85 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

Sometimes Jeb Bush looks like a little boy who just saw his toy get broken.

I so miss the ironic comments of Rand Paul.

One day Donald Trump will actually discuss a single plan in detail. That  would end his candidacy.

One day Marco Rubio will admit his parents left Cuba BEFORE Castro came to power.

Imagine the impact on this election when Rick Santorum endorses your candidacy!

From now on all Republican debates should be held in churches.

Is Carly Fiorina still alive?

Bernie Wants It All

The essence of the Sanders foreign policy is that American troops must never become involved in any aspect of “nation building.” He has a hard time envisioning a situation in which  the use of military force would be used.  After the debacle of Iraq and the horror of what is going on in Syria, it is difficult to  disagree with that point of view. The question posed is: “are there any situations in which America would employ military force?”

In the real world, a president  has to be prepared to use our military. Frankly, I do not know if that situation would be in the Middle East or some place else. A different question might be: “What type of military force could be used in the Middle East?

1. At present we are using our air force.

2. We are using Special Forces–small groups of highly trained soldiers.

3. We are sending members of the military  to train the Iraq army.

None of the above would lead to what happened in Iraq.

Jeb Bush–Please Applaud!

I am very  confused because so many politicians give speeches and people applaud without being informed when it was time to place their hands together and inform the speaker of approval for what he or she just said. I have absolutely no idea how this strange custom began in American politics. Jeb Bush, brother of George Bush was giving a speech in New Hampshire during which he spoke with passion and clarity about why he alone was the most intelligent person seeking the presidency. As we all know, mom and dad Bush always regarded Jeb as the bright son and were very disappointed that George somehow got the presidency that had been promised to Jeb.

Anyway,Jeb gave his presentation and was met with absolute silence. Since he is the bright son, Jeb decided to introduce an innovation to the political process. He quietly clapped his hands and said to the audience: ” How about some applause?” WOW! They had never heard such a brilliant idea from any political leader and immediately got their hands together.

First,they applauded him in New Hampshire and next they applauded him in South Carolina and soon all America was inundated with applause!

Rick, We Knew Ye Well

Four years ago on a dark and cloudy night, I first encountered a man from Pennsylvania who wore such incredible sweaters and spoke with a firm voice that most probably  had specifically been given to him by God. He so loved God and scarcely could utter a sentence without mentioning our Lord and thanking him for the bounty of life and supporting the Republican party.

Well, Rick Santorum once again informed America that he no longer would seek the office of President. This was a shock to me. I mean, here was a real Christian unlike the other people seeking the presidency. Sarah Palin might claim to be a Republican but Rick Santorum had wonderful children who never got in trouble. Imagine if America had such a father as head of this nation! Oh Rick,  we always turned to you when moral issues arose because only you could inform us what God thought about them. Only you communicated directly with the Big Guy up in the sky!

Rick, we will miss your wonderful stories and wonderful sweaters and your direct line to God!

Dreams, Dreams, Dreams

Bernie Sanders was in his best speaking mode last night. He promised the youth of America that if elected president he would end the nightmare of student debt. He also promised that college tuition would become an ancient idea since it would now be free. He promised each  and every American a free universal health care system that would end the nightmare of paying large drug bills. He promised to get each and every American a good paying job. Two questions:

1. How would any of these ideas get through a Republican dominated Congress?

2. Will the young people who want these things actually go out and vote, not just in 2016 but in 2018 to ensure that Democrats regain control of Congress?

I  am for all of these ideas. Reality is that at this point in history the best that can be done is to improve the Affordable Care Act, and to reduce interest rates on student loans. These are possible short term goals. The dreams of Bernie Sanders belong in the future–at least ten years from now–provided that youth votes to elect progressive congressmen!

So Who Won In Iowa?

There is one certainty about  what happened in Iowa last week, someone gain the most votes and supposedly that was Ted Cruz. Naturally, whenever Ted Cruz is involved in any activity that relates to politics, there is need to take a step back and reflect on how he “won.” Donald Trump informed one and all last week that he really was the  person who won the primary because he came in second. Of course, Marco Rubio  also claimed victory for coming in third.

Suddenly, everything is up in the air. Donald Trump is now shouting FOUL! According to Donald: “Ted Cruz did not win in Iowa. He stole it: that is why  all the polls were wrong, and why he got more voted than anticipated. Bad!” It turns out the Cruz campaign sent emails to thousands of people informing them that  Ben Carson had dropped out of the race and guess who he wanted them to vote for? In addition,  voters received a “certificate” indicating they had to vote or else!

Ted Cruz now apologizes even after initially  blaming CNN for the misinformation. All Ben wanted to do was head home and get a change of clothes.

Inside Ted Cruz’s Brain

This intrepid investigator has been give permission by Ted Cruz, the man  who intends to save America from jihadist terrorists to spend a few moments inside his brain. This is a first for the American media, to actually get the inside scoop about Ted Cruz. First, let me note that it is not dark inside the brain because God  Himself shines brightly in order to ensure that Ted is awake and ready for action.

Of course, an important site in the brain is the Godless pit. Inside the pit are those who reject Our Lord, and spend their time wallowing in fire and hell. Naturally, there is a path leading to Mexico for those who entered the brain without a legal document. The New York island is surrounded by sharks to prevent any of those god forsaken people to cross over into Iowa land where dwell the righteous folk.

There is a high wall inside the brain to prevent any subversive ideas to enter since Ted does not want his family to come in contact with foreign elements that might disturb their peace of mind. There is also a shooting gallery where anyone can blast away at pictures of Satan’s messenger, Hillary Clinton. And, if you have a spare dime just pull the lever on the ducking  stool on which sits the evil one–Donald Trump!