Category Archives: Satire

Anti-Putin Crowd In Moscow

In the good old days, all Vladimir Putin had to do was suggest to those in government jobs how wonderful it would be if they thronged the streets shouting his name. Over the weekend in Moscow and estimated 120,000 people gather in sub zero temperature to shout defiance of Putin. An opposition leader tore up his picture shouting, “Russia Without Putin.” An eight metre condom with a sign, “protect us from Putin” was held aloof. Vladimir had previously mistaken ribbons for condoms.

Oh, there was a pro-Putin rally, mainly attended by civil servants who were ordered to get the heck out of the office and go freeze their butts in order to give Putin some good news. Latest polls show that Putin, who ordinarily secures 90% of the vote has a rating under 50%.

We have a hunch some interesting manipulation will occur with voting in Russia.

HEADLINES FROM WORLD PRESS

Each day we offer samples of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

USA, NY Daily News:  ”GOP Leader Dies In Bathroom”

What is surprising, they spent their lies shoveling shit.

UK, Independent:  ”Broke Rules By Joining Lobby Firm”

I thought that WAS the rule!

Australia, Sydney Morning Herald:  ”Reincarnation Caused Death”

Sir, the purpose of reincarnation is to BE dead.

Sweden, Local:  ”Go Easy On Gun Toting Gangsters”

They may wind up running your government like the NRA does in America.

Russia, Moscow Times:  Putin’s Three Choices”

I win with 99%, I win with 95% or I win with only 90%.

Norway, Norway Post:  ”Prosecutor Shoots Self In Protest”

That is one way to handle losing the case.

South Africa, Argus:  ’Horse Heads Found In Malls”

Quit horsing around with such stories.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 21 year old mind trapped in an 81 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

I am the person in the group who listens to what people say without trying to find out what is wrong with what they say.

Many humans enjoy pain and failure.

Mystery of Life: Why three strikes and out by four balls are necessary for a free walk?

Never allow the contamination of hate to contaminate your mind.

Seek love and it will be found.

Some spend time pondering the fate of the world. Some trying to decide which bagel to eat.

Accept the inherent goodness of people and allow them to prove you correct or wrong.

A hug is God’s gift to humanity.

Hope must always be a companion on any trip.

Old Saying: There were giants in the land. New saying: There are pygmies in the land.

HEADLINES FROM WORLD PRESS

Each day we offer samples of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

Sweden, Local:  ”Fake Boobs”

Big deal, we have fake political leaders.

Czeck Republic, Prague Post:  ”Government Reaches Deal With Doctors”

For each dead person, you get bonus for emptying hospitals.

Denmark, Copenhagen Post:  ”We Have Low Goals”

Slogan of Republican Congressmen.

Russia, Moscow Times:”Work Begins On Electoral Reform”

From now on, Putin only gets 88% of the vote.

France, Connexion:  ”France Lumbers Up For Baby Making”

Penis, in upright position!

Norway, Norway Post:  ”Butter Shortage Hits Norway”

I guess they are going down the slippery slope.

USA, Newsday:    ”Two Hurt In Cesspool Explosion”

This is one messy story.

New Zealand, New Zealand Herald:  ’Mushroom Alert”

Always happens on a cloudy day.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 21 year old mind trapped in an 81 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

I feel awkward speaking on cell phone in restaurant. I am Depression born.

If God did not exist, what would Republican candidates discuss?

Television is inhabited by smiling faces who even smile reporting sad news.

Tomorrow, all will shop at Family Dollar

If an appointment is at 9, I expect service at 9.

I was raised in a land of handshakes, today there is a land of shakedowns.

In a group of elderly men, one has a beard, just one.

Short skirt, high heels, always attracts males.

Some clasp hands between legs while listening. I don’t.

I measure my health by the length of time a cold lingers.

Some retain grudges whose origin is long forgotten.

In every occupation, there is a moment of lull.

HEADLINES FROM THE WORLD PRESS

We offer samples of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

UK, Independent:  ”I Will Cut Off Safety Net”

I enjoy hearing the sounds of bodies hitting the ground.

South Africa, Argus:  ”The Way We Were”

Which certainly is not the way we are.

Russia, Moscow Times:  ”Schools Have 100% Passing Rate”

Now, you know why Russia needs Putin in power.

Saudi Arabia, Saudi Gazette:  ”Workers Near Holy Site Need Permission”

I guess one checks with any bodies in the area.

Sweden, Local:  ”Wealthy Families Cash In”

When don’t they?

China, China Daily:  ”Marriages Need Love”

Not in North Korea, they need food!

Indonesia, Jakarta Pos:  ”Pee Wee Potter”

At least he has someplace to pee in.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 21 year old mind trapped in an 81 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

The greatest hero in human history was the person who figured out the wheel.

If you can’t hit a home run, bunt to get on base.

Some are people of constant sorrow. How sorrowful.

Some walk briskly into a diner. I meander.

A group of four young girls cannot be silenced.

Some keep sunglasses on top of head, some in hand, I am former.

Chinese parents more than others speak the native language in public.

I can only recall what registered on my mind.

If there is no hope in life there is no hopeful life.

In the end, finally, no more doctors or dentists.

I never sit inside a restaurant with hands in pockets.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 21 year old mind trapped in an 81 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

If one has done good for me, I will never become angry at the person.

I believe in the old adage that good defense is worth more than a good offense.

I dream of what never will be because it raises possibilities of what can be.

Some are born to fame, some simply enjoy the fame of being alive.

Some never forget, never forgive and never find peace of heart.

Some walk through life with a smile on face.

Never underestimate the human capacity to hate–or to love!

A shared good memory should linger in one’s heart.

For many, the great decision in life is which bagel to eat and what to put on it.

If you tarry too long, Mitt Romney will express an idea you agree with.

Rick Santorum is the kid in class who gets the first part of what the teacher said and never hears the conclusion.

I so await a Republican candidate who says, “God Damn it!”

I could never believe in a God who favors one political party over another.

Dad braids little girl’s hair while mom watches. Welcome to modern America.

No Nazis In This Land

Israel is a land being torn apart because a large minority in the country is convinced the world hates Jews, the world hates Israel, and the prospect of another Holocaust lingers in the background. Recently, ultra Orthodox West Bank Jewish settlers descended on Jerusalem dressed as though in a death camp in Nazi, Germany. They were upset because police demolished some illegal houses. Naturally, the destruction of these homes is equivalent to the Nazi destruction of the Warsaw ghetto and murder of thousands of Jews.

Pretending to be a Holocaust victim in the year, 2011, simply did not even impress Israel political leaders who believe Jews can do no wrong. A new law proposed in the Knesset would make it a crime to insult others by calling them “Nazis” or to dress up as though in a death camp. I assume this does not include plays or films about the Holocaust. In other words, words like Nazi, Holocaust, 3rd Reich and Hitler are banned in polite company.

The proposed ban on language is simply one more piece of evidence that Israel dislikes the concept of being a democracy.

Only Clean Smelling Immigrants Accepted!

Australia has been the target of thousands seeking to enter and become part of that nation. It is a large nation and has plenty of room for millions, but the political opposition in Australia is concerned about how immigrants might bring into their country smells that would cause untold numbers to collapse from their odors. Teresa Gambaro, speaking for opposition members of Parliament, explained her concerns. “Without trying to be offensive, we are talking about hygiene and what is an acceptable norm in this country when you are working closely with other co-workers.” Her solution is to use deodorants in order to present the right smell to the world of fellow workers.

Pino Migliorino, of the Federation of Ethnic Communities Councils, who like Gambrino is of Italian heritage, pointed out an historical piece of data. “Teresa Gambaro comes from the same background as mine and we grew up being called dirty wogs.” I recall being told in elementary school that we east European Jewish children had to use soap and water more frequently because we smelled.

Ms. Gambaro admitted that her comments might be termed insensitive by those who lack a sensitive nose.