Category Archives: Satire

Let’s Have An Impeachment!

John Boehner and the Republican party have spent the past four years with one goal in mind— prevent President Obama from being able to pass any law that deals with a real issue in America. From day one of the re-election of Barack Obama in 2012, Republicans have been united in their refusal to cooperate in solving problems in America. Our infrastructure is in desperate need of repair, but to pass laws that would allow construction of bridges or roads violates Republican principles that only inertia is the solution. They were rewarded for this behavior by huge gains in the past election. Emperor Obama just announced his plan to allow four million aliens to remain in America. Imagine a President who announced an Executive Action! Oh, it would be easier to list an American President who did NOT announce an Executive Action. All American presidents made such announcements including Saint Ronald Reagan who allowed millions of illegal Mexican migrants to remain!

According to Saint John Boehner, “with this action, the President has chosen to deliberately sabotage any chance of enacting bipartisan reforms. Gee, was I asleep these past four years? Did I miss Republican bills that would deal with immigration reform? OK, the new drama is for Republicans to devote the next year with plans of impeachment of the President for doing exactly what prior Republican Presidents did. I await Ted Cruz, who was born in Canada, yelling about “immigrants.” The drama of it all. Republican goals- gridlock for another two years.

HEADLINES FROM WORLD PRESS

We offer samples of headlines from the world press along with our comments.

Australia, Canberra Times: “Dinosaur Stolen From Museum”

Has anyone contacted the Flintstones to get it back?

Sweden, Local: “Pregnant Woman Gets Fuel Voucher”

I assume it is to fuel up the tummy?

UK, Guardian: “New War On Terror”

It begins in Washington this January and it is directed at the White House.

New Zealand, New Zealand Herald: “Try A Wine Bath”

The nectar of life and happiness.

Denmark, Copenhagen Post: “Principal Charged With Child Porn”

He just believes in hands-on learning.

Finally, Pakistan Deals With Rape Victims

The “nation” of Pakistan over the past sixty years has gradually, but consistently, become a dysfunctional state of anarchy and madness. In its origin there were educated leaders seeking to create a modern secular focused nation that would adhere to the Muslim religion, but also respect people of other faiths. They wanted to create a MODERN nation that would adhere to ideas regarding the role of women in society. Instead of that dream becoming reality, the dream has been transformed into a nightmare of ancient ideas running rampant. During the past eight years in Pakistan, at least 3000 women have been murdered by their relatives because of allegedly “immoral behavior” that violated family “honor.”

Finally, a Pakistani Court has imposed the death sentence upon the family of Farzana Parveen who was brutally murdered by -father, brother, two cousins– because she married the wrong man. This murder took place outside the gates of the Lahore High Court! Imagine this family beating to death their daughter, their sister, their cousin, in broad daylight in the center of a city! The Court imposed a death sentence upon the group of four. They continue insisting the issue is “honor.” How come a man can marry whomever he desires and it never violates family HONOR?

Idiots Delight In Ferguson, Missouri

The study of history is no longer among the topics that are part of the school curriculum. Oh, this January, there will be speeches about the life of Marin Luther King, a few celebrations, but it is doubtful if teachers will actually devote time to studying his ideas. After all, they do not lend themselves to a tweet. The idea of reading intently, discussing with intelligence, has been replaced by a line that allegedly deals with any topic in the curriculum. So, we tweet in one sentence complex ideas, and assume that we now know all about the idea. Martin Luther King devoted his life to fostering the concept of peaceful civil disobedience. This concept entails accepting the idea of being beaten by police, but refusing to respond with violence. The assumption is that over time, a population will become horrified at the scene of innocent men, women, and children being beaten, and will be ready to rethink their ideas.

A black militia group known as RbG Black Rebels is headed for Ferguson, Missouri in order to lend their ideas of violence to a volatile situation. They are posting rewards for: “We are paying $5K for location of officer Darren Wilson, no joke, no crime, we just wan a get his photo an ask him a few questions.” Oh, they offer $1K for information about members of his family. This is a sick group whose behavior indicates a lack of knowledge about Martin Luther King. They are itching for violence.The only question about these dudes is: how many will die?

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 24 year old mind trapped in an 84 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

Some are hustlers through life.

Be a gardner of the love flower.

Few today walk with hands folded behind back.

We are passengers on a boat headed for an unknown destination.

I wonder if God runs a life lottery.

Kids sit down before mom or dad does.

A chubby 8 year old is a patient, not a child.

At least technology forces writing.

Some eat to die.

Love is a stranger who never knocked on the door of Ted Cruz.

Social Media And Stupidity

I was born decades before the arrival of social media and during that time period, undoubtedly, felt and expressed numerous stupid ideas. I was fortunate because a dumb thought remained with either myself or a few people. It never dawned upon me to make certain that everyone on this planet was aware of my stupidities. In other words, before the arrival of social media, one had the constitutional right to say dumb things. At worst, after opening my mouth and uttering words that were silly, uncaring, or just plain dumb, only one person really was aware that I was an idiot. Jump start to the arrival of social media, and, for some reason, it is now common for people to express an idiotic idea and broadcast it to the world.

Amy Strickland, was teacher of the year in Norfolk, Virginia. She was promoted to the job of assistant principal of Booker T. Washington High School. So, what does this women who is teaching in a high school that has a large percentage of black students tweet to one and all: she displayed a photo of black boys with white girls accompanied by her comment. “Every white girl’s father’s worst nightmare.” Duh! I ave no idea whether or not she thought the comment was a joke. But, thanks to social media the name of Amy Strickland is now known far and wide as a racist idiot.

Virgin Cops Report For Duty!

I am among the world’s greatest fans of police stories. My evenings are spent watching Law And Order with its crew of strong women who subdue criminals and display their ardor for the job. Of course, being a cop means they also have some lover, either a fellow policeman or a lawyer of someone who is tough and strong. So, much to my surprise to learn that in Indonesia, if you want to become a cop then you have to be a virgin. Oh, let me make clear this does NOT apply to males, just females. The Police Chief Health Inspector insists that women must undergo a virginity test if they desire to capture the bad guys. “All women who want to become a policewomen should keep their virginity.” I assume there is a correlation between being a virgin and catching bad guys. For some strange reason this has nothing to do with males on the force.

One woman described the entrance exam in order to become a cop. “They inserted two fingers with a gel.. it really hurt. My friend fainted.” Now, would you want anyone on the police force who fainted because someone inserted two fingers into their vagina? I am unclear what is the equivalent insertion for males.

HEADLINES FROM WORLD PRESS

We offer samples of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

China, China Daily: “Should Schools Have Dress Codes?”

Absolutely, children can not come to school naked!

France, Connexion: “Maniac Gendarme”

He roams the streets arresting gendarmes?

Australia, Canberra Times: “Senate Defector”

Hey man, if you had to listen of Ted Cruz ramble on about immigrants, why not head for Mexico?

New Zealand, New Zealand Herald: “Tiger On Loose near Paris Disneyland”

OK, he lacks francs to enter, just let the tiger in, who would know the difference?

Russia, Moscow Times: “New War On Terrorism”

Just capture Putin and end terrorism in Russia!

Obama Shows Some Balls!

It is now clear that Barack Obama has interpreted the recent election as proof that most Americans favor his policies and they deliberately voted for Republicans in order to stir up the blood of Barack. First, he signed an historic environment deal with China, he is edging closer to an historic deal over nuclear weapons with Iran, and he may veto any bill that allows oil to flow from Canada. Of course, he has also made clear that he will protect Hispanic immigrants by allowing about five million to have temporary status in the US. So, what happened to the dude who fucked up health care, who was confused about handling Ebola and could not even protect the White House from lunatics? Let me explain:

1. Since Obama was born and bred in Africa he contacted a witch doctor who has granted him super natural powers.

2. The witch doctor has now placed a curse on Republicans, you will shortly see them collapse in hysteria.

3. Watch for the appearance in Iraq of a new super hero named, BO!

If I was Mitch McConnell or John Boehner, I would check anything I drink very carefully. And, above all do not gaze into the eyes of Obama!

Nigerian Troops Actually Kill A Bad Guy!

The armed forces of Nigeria are to fighting anyone with a gun as the Republican party is prepared to fight for the rights of poor people in this nation. Boko Haram forces once again took the town of Chibok from which they had kidnapped over 250 young girls, and in the process not a Nigerian soldier was in sight. Generals in the Nigerian army are engaged in only one fight –who gets the money that ordinarily would be spent on paying soldiers or purchasing modern military equipment. Nigeria is the land of kelptomania in which the military, the government, big business devote their days and nights robbing the people blind. Sorry, the old excuse about “imperialism” can not explain away how native people of Africa have repeatedly failed to create modern economic systems and governments.

Africa is possessed with incredible natural resources but for some reason its ruling elite is only concerned with personal wealth rather than that of the population. For years they have excused their robbery on grounds they were ruled by imperialists from Europe. Those people left a half century ago!