Category Archives: Satire

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 25 year old mind trapped in an 85  year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

A great opener for the Republican convention is a good old fashioned food fight between Donald and Ted. John can be the referee.

I just do not believe ANY of the Founding Fathers would support any candidate today.

Heidi Cruz says Ted is an immigrant but she never said from which country.

My TV went dead on me, just another example of Chinese and Hispanics taking things from we God fearing Americans.

After listening to college graduates running for president, I am left wondering exactly what is being taught in college?

Do you ever wonder what John Kasich really thinks about anything?

How about substituting political conventions for a beauty pageant  and having candidates display their bodies? Makes a lot more sense than displaying their minds.

So, What Now, Bernie?

The end of the road is now in sight for those supporting Bernie Sanders. He ain’t going to win  the nomination and Wall Street can take a deep breath. Actually, I doubt if any Wall Street guys lost a single night’s sleep over the white haired guy from Brooklyn. The real issue is what now for Bernie?

1. He can continue talking about speeches and Hillary money which makes Donald happy.

2. He can organize a movement to retake control of Congress by voting this year for US Senators, congressmen, state legislators and governors.

3. He can go home and sulk.

4. He can enter negotiations for him to run as her vice president.

5.He can identify Clinton  ideas that are consistent with his own.

Bernie, the time has come to behave as a leader in the fight to prevent a Republican victory this fall.

Trump Trumps His Workers

The American people have heard for the past ten months what a great businessman is the red headed fellow from New York. Workers at the Trump Hotel Las Vegas sort of have a different perspective on the man who is their boss. No, he is not going to replace them with Hispanic rapists, no, he is not going to give their jobs to some of the hordes of Chinese coming here to take away jobs from Americans. The pay of cleaners, bar workers, and kitchen staff is about $3 less an hour than what hotel workers in those roles make at other hotels. So, we asked the Donald man to respond:

“Let me make clear that I am the Greatest, the Greatest hotel owner in Las Vegas. To tell you the truth I was the guy who made this town. Do these people realize what they gain by working for me? Just imagine how happier you are knowing your Boss is the Greatest employer in the world! I am disappointed, really disappointed that people place a few dollars ahead of working for the Greatest employer in the world! I hope these people understand that I can build a wall, a Great Wall, around my hotel and prevent them from ever leaving!!”

Heidi Cruz On Ted

As you recall or don’t recall, Ted Cruz was raving about the intelligence of his wife who made money on the hated Wall Street. However,the other day Heidi made a boo-boo. She was at a Ted rally when to impress the audience that HER husband was a unifier, the gal with an Ivy League education sort of spoke without thinking.She informed the audience: “Ted is an immigrant. Ted is Hispanic” So, he is the only Republican who can secure votes from the Hispanic voters.

Ted was sort of upset since the Donald man insists that he is not a natural born citizen. Perhaps, Heidi wants her man to remain home and the best way is to ramble on about his immigrant status. I guess if she was the wife of Obama, Heidi would be boasting about his African heritage to get the black vote.

We can now reveal the truth about Ted Cruz– his name is really Tajai Allah ben- Cruzenfelt. Why not the Jewish  and Arab votes at the same time?

Obama On Republicans

Once a year media correspondents get together and ask the current president to utter some biting sarcastic comments. Barack Obama appeared for the last time.

“They say that Donald lacks the foreign policy experience for a president, but in fairness, he  has spent years meeting  with leaders from  around the world. Miss Sweden. Miss Argentina. Miss Azerbaijan. And there’s one area where Donald’s experience could be invaluable and that’s closing Guantanamo, because Donald knows a thing or two about running waterfront properties into the ground.”

As for Ted Cruz who recently pointed out that a basketball hoop is really known as basketball ring. Obama on Ted: “He knows that baseball players use baseball sticks and football players use hats. And, they say I’m the foreign one!”

Stopping Trump

Many leaders of the Republican Party seek to halt the rise to power of one, Donald Trump. So, here are the scenarios for the Convention:

1. Bring back the always tough guy–Dick Cheney. He can out evil Cruz or Trump put together.

2. Bring back Don Rumsfeld. He already has a Donald in his name.

3. Republicans last one with a Bush in hand, just remember there is another  Bush in the forest of candidates.

4. No one gets upset at Ben Carson, OK, so he is sort of quiet, now that’s a big change from Donald.

5. Rick Perry is from Texas, Texas has a border with Mexico, and Rick also now wears glasses which certainly makes him come across as Presidential.

6. Of course, if Republicans really want a candidate who is  perceptive and witty, there is always Rand Paul.

7, There is always one of the ex-wives of Donald Trump, who better knows this guy?

8. Now, if Republicans want a man who can out boast Donald Trump and shout louder there is alway Rudy Giuliani!

Cruz On Key Issues Of Today

I understand that Republican candidates for the presidency want to make America, Great Again. Finally, a fresh Republican voice is forcing his party to focus upon real, vital issues of modern life. Ted Cruz insists that he knows what mainly concerns the American people.

Is is the lack of good paying jobs? No.

Is it low paying jobs? No.

Is it Islamic terrorism? No.

Is it student debt? No.

Ted put the issue very clearly.  “This is not an matter of right or left, Democrat or Republican. This is common sense. It does not make sense for a grown adult man, strangers, to  be alone in a restroom with a little girl.” In other words most Americans go to bed each night worrying who they will encounter in a public restroom. Who really cares if he or she has a high paying job? Anyone with common sense knows the real issue of their life is who pisses or shits with them!

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 25 year old mind trapped in an 85 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

I think Republicans need Rudy Giuliani to save America just as he single-handedly did on 9/11.

Cruz and Fiorina– a match made in heaven!

In all honesty, Bernie left Brooklyn but Brooklyn never left Bernie.

Donald prefers being Donald to presidential.

A miracle that will never occur is a day of peace in Syria.

Republicans never explain what “Making America Great Again” means,great in which respect?

It becomes increasingly clear the only purpose of Republican primaries is to  help some folks sell their books.

At age 85, I somehow missed the meaning or purpose of the Kardashian age.

These days I have come to conclude that Hell is being forced to sit before a TV set listening to the Republican debates for ETERNITY!

My great regret this year is that Elizabeth Warren did not seek the presidency.

Republican Congresswoman Marsha Blackburn has identified the greatest threat confronting America– the Government wants to regulate our ceiling fans!

First they came for our health care, then they came for our light bulbs, then they came for our ceiling fans, and next, no doubt, is regulation of our toilet seats!!

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 25 year old mind trapped in an 85 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

Throughout the past hundred years America always winds up as an ally of incompetent dictators–just check Egypt.

I was really impressed when Carly sang a lullaby to the daughters of Ted Cruz, she certainly demonstrated her qualifications to be vice president.

I really do miss the silence of Ben Carson.

Of course, I also miss the interesting comments of Rand Paul–and he never shouts!

Ah, Bernie, the road show will soon be over.

I really look forward to the debate between Hillary and Donald. The mind vs the Mouth.

Say, whatever happened to Rick Perry–is he still alive?

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the  human condition from a  25 year old mind trapped in an 85 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

Republicans have a romance with stupidity.

Carly Fiorina was fired as head of Hewlett Packard, who else would Ted seek to be his running mate?

I await with hope that Republicans will finally turn to Sarah Palin. After all, she sure can shoot straight.

Ah, for a President of the USA who regards women as bimbos!

Of course, in fairness to Donald, a bimbo IS seeking the Democratic nomination.

There are moments when I believe we Americans have a rendevous with disaster.

I wonder what Ben Carson is doing these days–cutting up bodies?