Category Archives: Satire

Donald’s Incredible Memory!

Donald Trump is sticking by his tale of ‘THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF MUSLIMS CHEERING WHEN THE TOWERS WENT DOWN ON 9/11. “I have an incredible memory and I saw a video of them cheering over in New Jersey. As of this point, I simply cannot tell you who made the video or when it was shown, but I have this incredible memory so it must be right.” Other examples of his incredible memory:

1. He saw Lee Oswald actually point the rifle that killed John Kennedy. He WAS there and he DID see this.

2. He actually was in the Ford Theater when Lincoln was shot! He saw it!

3. Donald was at the scene when Ronald Reagan was shot. He DID try to prevent the shooting but someone got in his way!

4. Donald did see Bill Clinton get a blow job from Monica Lewinsky, he just decided not to tell on his buddy.

5. He did see this black dude,Barack Obama enter America from Africa, he was there the day the Obama ship docked in New York City.


We offer observations on the human condition from a 25 year old mind trapped in an 85 year old body.


If Republicans want to end terror in America, how about banning all guns?

A piece of paper flew in the window and landed on the desk of Ben Carson, he signed it.

Listen to cries of hate about Muslims and think about cries of hate against Jews.

I am so relieved that Republican candidates have a PLAN.

My dream: General Donald Trump leading men into battle.

I wonder if any doctor has considered operating on the head of Ben Carson.

Has anyone in the Republican party considered contacting Cheney or Rumsfeld for ideas?


We offer observations on the human condition from a 25 year old mind trapped in an 85 year old body.


Aside from speeches, exactly what do Republican want to do about ISIS?

Gee, I so wish we had Rudy Giuliani to lead us in this new crisis. After all, he single-handedly wiped out al-Qaeda.

Barack Obama is among the most inept leaders in a crisis. He never speaks with the American people.

Barack is cool when he should be hot.

Funny, no statements from George Bush on how to handle terrorists.

We ignore poverty and wonder why there are problems.

How about sending in Chicago gangs to handle ISIS?

Donald Trump On ISIS

My name is Donald Trump. I hope every damn Muslim, every cowardly member of ISIS memorizes that name because when I get rid of you pieces of shit, the last damn image in your mind will be that of a red haired man who is personally shooting each and every one of you bastards. Now how will I accomplish this task:

1. I will televise my speeches night and day throughout the Middle East.

2. I will send recordings of my speeches to each and every leader of ISIS.

3. I will give one speech after another in the state of Iowa how I will wipe out ISIS.

4. I will go on Fox News 7/24 every week to denounce ISIS.

5. I intend to visit every state in America to speak about my plan to wipe out ISIS.

I can guarantee my ideas are COLOSSAL. I can guarantee the wall I will build around Iraq is FANTASTIC. And the hot air I will send to the Middle East is HOT.

So, watch out ISIS, your doom awaits!

Jeb Bush On ISIS

Unlike people like Ted Cruz I was actually born and bred in the great state of Texas so when it comes to facing down bad guys,just let me at them. In fact, my brother George is just dying to finish off the job he started back in 2003.Let’s get this straight you bad people, I am tough, or at least, I want to be tough. I hate terrorists and promise if elected to send them packing from America. Or at least,give them a lecture about the joys of working with job creators who will help you bad people get on the gravy train to wealth.

For heaven sake, why go around dressed in black? Have you guys considered the possibility that if you guys study hard,pass the common core tests,then you can go to the college of your choice. I want ISIS to know that I am a chip off the block of brother George. When wars come around, we head off in the opposite direction. I promise America that if elected, I will work hard with ISIS members and get them started in a new direction. Heck, if George could beat the bottle, certainly you guys can go on the bottle,get drunk and end this terrorism!

Climate Change Endorsed By So-Called Scientists

Thirty two nations are in Paris, not for the sights but to hold talks about climate change. In the midst of carnage and blood and anger, they will be discussing ideas on how to handle climate change.Naturally, this topic has angered the entire group known as Republican candidates for President.There is an institution in America named the “Environment Agency” whose task is to assist ISIS and other Islamic terrorists destroy the American nation. Their number one target is the American business community. This so-called, “environment” group has nothing to do but drive decent hard working Americans from wealth to poverty.

No Republican ever met a greenhouse emission that was anything but a process of taking jobs away from Americans. Exactly what is wrong about having more “green” in the world?? I thought green was the right color for those seeking to enjoy the outdoor life.And, this “emitting” stuff,each day we emit shit and no one wants to regulate that!

God bless green, God bless emitting, and God bless great Americans like Trump, Cruz and Rubio for standing tall for the American dream!

Life In Republican America

I have endured the presidency of George Bush and his two clowns, Dick Cheney and Don Rumsfeld so the thought of another Republican president is not that crazy. Last night I dreamed that America elected either Carson or Donald or Ted or Marco or even the hapless Jeb.So,what would life be like in that sort of America?

1. Those with wealth would be exempt from paying taxes so the could create gobs of jobs paying $7.25 an hour.

2. There would be a ‘value added tax”of 15% to pay for lower taxes.

3. Gays and lesbians would be denied the right to have babies.

4. Every damn woman who got pregnant would HAVE that baby.

5. President Ben would have an assistant who pointed out places like Syria or Iran.

6.Cops would be urged to shoot first and think later.

7. You want to go to college, work for twenty years to have the money to attend. NO more handouts!

8. Hungry? Go pick peaches, the illegals are now gone.

Rand Paul In Debate

Rand Paul stands at the end of the group in more ways than physically. He is completely the opposite of others on the stage. Actually, Rand Paul is the only traditional conservative in the crowd. He opposes any military effort in the Middle East, he points out in a very quiet voice that if one does what Carly desires and creates a “No Fly” are in Syria, that means some Russian planes might get shot down. Has anyone informed Carly that Russia has in its possession a few hundred atomic bombs. Rand understands the consequence of doing something in the name of being tough that ends up destroying the world.

Rand is against regulations.Then again, so is every Republican on the stage against “regulations.” Listening to him and the others blast any and all regulations leads one to wonder would they allow regulations in sport activities? Rand mumbled something about returning power to the states. I hate to inform this group but we once did that–the Articles of Confederation–which worked exactly as Republicans desire –no federal government and power to the states.

The result of this fiasco was the Constitutional Convention which created a strong federal government.


We offer samples of headlines from the world press along with our comments.

Russia, Moscow Times: “Anti-Corruption Officer Arrested”

Boy, this is a new approach.Aren’t cops in Putin Russia supposed to be corrupt?

Denmark, Copenhagen Post: “Don’t Stab With Butter Knife”

Just smear on the cream cheese.

Canada, Toronto Star: “Some Cardinals Dislike Pope”

Then again, this Pope dislikes some Cardinals.

France, Connexion: “Sex Better On Hotel Beds”

I assume with someone not your spouse.

Japan, Japan Times: “First Lesbian Drama”

Gee, sex between two women, who ever heard of that?

Wither Bernie?

Bernie Sanders is a Socialist, I’m a Socialist. Bernie Sanders wants to do something about income inequality, so do I. Bernie Sanders believes ALL Lives Matter, so do I. So,what is the future of this nice guy?

1. If nominated, he would lose a presidential election. White haired, Socialist, loud booming voice, for guns, decent guy who should know better than to waste his time seeking the presidency.

2. His task at this point is to get young people angry about American society and ready to head off Republican victory.

3. His task is to shove Hillary Clinton further and further into fighting Wall Street and income inequality.

4. His task is to provide young voters with the image of a man who will not be bought off. This alone ensures more will vote in the next election.

5. His task is to die so that Hillary Clinton can live to triumph.