Category Archives: Satire

Bibi Says “Thank You”

During the past year, Israel Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has been shouting to the American Congress and the American people that the black dude who sits in the Oval Office hates Jews and hates Israel. I have endured one conversation after another with Jews in which they insist Barack Obama hates Jews and hates Israel. Of course, under his administration Israel has been given funding for the “Dome” which destroys missiles headed toward Israel and this country has been given over FIFTEEN BILLION DOLLARS FOR THEIR DEFENSE! This apparently is a demonstration of HATRED. Anyway, Israel Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu informed the world that he wants to give a special thanks to Obama and Kerry for their deep support for Israel.

So, what led to the change of heart? The UN is discussing authorizing the Secretary General to investigate creation of a nuclear free zone in the Middle East. Oops, that poses a problem for Israel since it is the ONLY nation in the Middle East which has atomic bombs. It is estimated Israel has at least 80 atomic bombs. Oops, Israel refuses to allow UN inspectors into its atomic facilities. Bibi is happy that John Kerry blocked UN efforts to create a nuclear free zone in the Middle East.

So the men who hate Israel are now protecting Israel. Such is life.

Vaudeville Show Coming To Your Screen

Fox News has announced some wonderful news, and some sad news about the forthcoming election for president of the United States of America. The good news is that Americans will be able–without paying a single penny– to see the most humorous event in modern media–the stage filled with aspiring candidates for the Republican nomination for that office. Here is the bad news, instead of the possible eighteen candidates, we will only be able to observe, about ten of them. The good news is that we can witness the quick minds of outstanding men such as Ted Cruz. I regret to inform you that not a single female candidate has made the Fox News cut.

1. I will be very sad at not being able to see and hear the great mind of Rick Santorum. I so enjoyed wondering which of his sweaters would appear on the screen.

2. I so desire to see Bobby Jindal, this is one candidate who will say anything in order to please billionaires.

3. My life will not be the same now that Sarah Palin no longer is in it. This is one female who can gaze into the future as well as gaze over a thousand miles with one glance.

4. So far, there is no mention of Rick Perry. I so miss his inability to explain who is in a Cabinet in our government. But, at least, he does know there is a Cabinet.

5. There is also a female whose name escapes me for the moment, I believe she was fired from her corporate job which definitely makes her a wonderful candidate for president.

None of the above will be on the stage of this show. I wonder why Sheldon Adelson will not be on the stage. After all, he has the dough,and these guys want it. I would love to see him make candidates do some tricks such as licking his penis.

Black Vs White

Recent events in the Waco Texas Biker shoot out make very clear the divide between being a black youth and being a white youth in the United States of America. Nine people are dead as a result of this open firing of weapons by a group of men who are mainly white skinned. The police of Waco, Texas are besides themselves with concern over the behavior of white people. They are literally begging Bikers not to misbehave, and to please, please behave themselves in the future. There are no stories in the media about the breakdown of white families which has resulted in this episode of violence. Fox News is not commenting about the threat to society over those who resort to violence rather than sitting down like a group of nice folks and discussing their problems. So, here is what Waco, Texas should teach black skinned youth in our cities:

1. From now one wear a Biker jacket when out in the public. Cops will NOT shoot you.

2. Gather together with other Black Bikers when ready to employ violence.

3. Shoot one another and cops will leave you alone.

4. Oh, and do your shooting at the local diner.

HEADLINES FROM WORLD PRESS

We offer sample of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

USA,aol: “Natural Disaster Zone”

Seeking the Republican nomination for President.

Sweden, Local: “Comic Abducted By Police”

These days cops do need a laugh.

Germany, Der Spiegel: “Sex-Ed Protests”

We sure need some protests over failure to have hands-on teaching about sex.

Turkey, Hurriyet: “Portrait Of An Election”

Painted in gold.

Canada, Gobe & Mail: “Jeb: Knowing What We Now Know”

If you are a Bush, it is better never to know what you know.

No Indian Whoops Of Joy

The politically correct folk in the United States of America are really obsessed with the issue of what to call those whose ancestors were living in this country before the arrival of Europeans. I am told that employing the term, “Indian” is not correct and those people should be called, “Native Americans.” The word, “American” comes from Amerigo Vespucci, an Italian explorer who never stepped foot in what we term the United States of America. So, why the hell should I call someone whose ancestors were Cherokee or Iroquois after some Italian?? Anyway, these days, the politically correct cops are on the lookout for any manifestation of insult to Native Americans. Ms. Loretta Sanchez is seeking the nomination for US Senator from the state of California and she let out an Indian whoop on her cell phone that somehow was heard across the state of California.

Frankly, I don’t give a damn if someone whoops for joy or just shouts “Geronimo” while departing a plane as US paratroopers shouted during World War II. Sanchez now stands accused of insulting all those who are either Indians or Native Americans or whatever.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 24 year old mind trapped in an 84 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

It is Monday, someone got shot in Texas, so what is new?

I await a day that does not begin with news of another person deciding to run for the Republican nomination for president.

American politics has shifted from comedy to farce.

I wonder if there was ever a day in the history of this planet when some life form did not die due to violence?

Some are born to die, some to live.

I have a hunch that Jesus just won’t return until guaranteed he will not be shot.

How about resurrecting the body of Ronald Reagan and having it run for president?

So, What’s New? Texas Shootout!

The sun came up today, and night will fall, that is the norm of life in America. Of course, the norm is also that someplace in the state of Texas someone will be blasting away with his Constitutional right to fire his weapon. Just check the Second Amendment. Three Bike gangs gathered at the Twin Peaks Restaurant in Waco Texas in order to get involved in some wacko affairs. What else is supposed to happen in the state of Texas when there bike gangs gather together at a restaurant–they certainly did not come for the food. Anyway, for some reason, the bikers began to blast away, just remember they ate bikers and thus they are gun-toting, God-fearing red blooded Americans out for a Sunday experience. When the shooting was over nine men were dead and about eighteen others were wounded. We do know that the Bandidos and the Cossacks did most of the shooting.

Oh, the good news! none of the dead or wounded were innocent people. A group hid in the freezer for safety.

It was just another normal day in the state of Texas. The sun came up, and someone was killed with a gun.

It’s Only Water

I gather there is some minor problem in the state of California about lack of water. People are being ordered not to water their lawns and to be extra careful about how they use water during the day. Tim Brown is CEO of the Nestle company which sells water in bottles. You know, this company takes water from rivers, places the water in bottles, and then sells people the water they could easily drink by going to the rivers. Anyway, Tim wants the people of California to know that his company will “absolutely not stop bottling water in California, and would like to increase it. The fact is, if I stop bottling water tomorrow, people would buy another brand of bottled water. People need to hydrate. As the second largest bottler in the state, we’re filling a role many others are filling.

Has anyone considered the idea of ending bottled water and simply go to the faucet and drink it? Believe it or not, it is the same water!!

Republicans On History

Among the most common complaints from Republicans is the failure of our teachers to teach children about the history of this nation. Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker sent a twitter to someone in which he made the following statement: “It’s hard to believe that it has been 505 years since the first settlers arrived in Jamestown.” If I divide, and I was taught by Mrs. Klingerfuss how to divide, if one subtracts 505 from 2015 the answer is 1510. Of course, as any student who actually has taken a history class in the United States of America knows, Jamestown was settled by English colonists in 1607. OK, I know what LIBERALS will comment regarding the Walker statement, they will once again attempt to prove that Republicans have not studied American history!

Let’s see, Justice Scalia insists our Founding Fathers would agree that individuals could cite religious beliefs in order to refuse obeying laws of the land. If that was their belief, why did they write the First Amendment which clearly states there is a separation of state and religion?

When it comes to American history and Republicans, if ignorance was a virtue they would all be saints in Heaven.

In Defense Of Conservatives

There is no doubt that the modern civil rights movement should be about the plight of those who are millionaires. Hardly a day goes by without one story after another that describes these wonderful people as some form of evil force. It is the wealthy who created this nation. It is the wealthy who have made sure we have a Congress which works twenty-four hours a day in defense of freedom for the American people. If Martin Luther King was alive today, he would be speaking in defense of the oppressed white people of this nation. After all, who were the people who wiped out the Indians and allowed all this land to be open to all white folks? All we ever hear, day and night is this story or that story about some black gangster kid who wanted to kill whites and Why? The answer is simple, because white is not only beautiful, but more intelligent.

OK, so you may call me a racist. But,someone has to stand up for the oppressed in this nation. Think about it, when was the last public outburst of anger because a white kid was shot by police? OK, so maybe,just maybe white kids do not get shot. The answer is simple, white kids run faster and further than black kids. Have you ever seen President Obama hug a wealthy white guy? How come he only hugs little black kids? Perhaps, it is time for Ted Cruz to lead the fight for white equality in this nation. It is time to return the presidency to white folks.

This article was funded by the Koch Brothers as part of their campaign to restore whiteness to its natural leadership position in America!