Category Archives: Satire

Scott Walker At Battle Of Madison, Wisconsin

Every so often I feel the need to apologize to those whom I have offended with my angry words of criticism. I now humbly apologize to the governor of the great state of Wisconsin for failing to recognize his accomplishments in the war against terrorism. There is no doubt that Scott Walker stands alone among American governors in his gallant stand against the hordes of terrorists who assaulted the capitol of Madison a few years ago. Some are confronted by black hooded terrorists carrying weapons of mass destruction, but Scott single handedly met the enemy and wiped them out. It was just a few years ago when government offices were viciously attacked by social workers, teachers, psychologists, and cops demanding the right to form unions. As Scott recounts the fight, the capitol grew so packed with human bodies, the smell of their bodies hit you as soon as you entered the building. It was over powering.”

After winning this great battle, Scott now believes, “If I can take on 100,000 protesters, I can do the same across the world.”

Caution to ISIS, from now on before engaging in battle with Scott, take a shower and rub the soap in deeply.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 24 year old mind trapped in an 84 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

Always posses a child’s sense of wonder.

Some walk through life with a smile on face.

To be born with a work ethic is to be born blessed.

Children openly explore life, seniors just want to live.

Be a gardner of love.

I wonder if God runs a life lottery.

Some are hustlers of life and want to win the life lottery.

On Multiculturalism

There are days when I wonder if somehow or in some way I failed to recognize my bigotry in modern America. Actually, the expression “pluralism” was coined in a New Republic magazine in 1916 in an effort to recognize America in this era. At that point in time, 25% of Americans were either immigrants or children of immigrants, today the figure is about 8%. The issue of creating a society in which people of varying religions, colors and ethnic heritages has long been at the center of how to recognize differences while creating a sense of unity. I laugh when Americans today worry about Hispanic children in schools who come from parents who do not speak English. In my immigrant neighborhood, the merchants like my pop who had a butcher store spoke Yiddish, not English to their customers. Multiply by a factor of ten if you seek to compare the issue of multiculturalism in 1914 with that of today.

So, what happened to we children of immigrants? We joined the army and helped win World War II. We joined the Army and fought in Korea. We got jobs, we invented things, we help create new industries like television and we wound up living in neighborhoods with those who in our childhood were the enemy. Fight to ensure equality for all, but every so often take a deep breath and recognize that times have changed, are changing and will continue to change. The United States of America, for all its failures to aid those at the bottom and those seeking equality HAS made a few strides. Again, what has changed is simply not enough.

Thoughts On Life In Boehnerland

The American people have now enjoyed about two months under the rule of Republicans in Congress. Based on this experience it is now clear:

1. The hordes of ISIS pose greater danger to our nation than the hordes of Latin American kids.

2. Money speaks twenty four hours a day and seven days a week and 12 months in the year.

3. If the choice is either getting rid of some Mexican person or an ISIS person, you know the answer.

4. Just do the opposite of whatever Obama says or does and Sheldon Adelson will reward you very well.

5. Defend Israel over America is the new slogan of Republicans. Let me alter that remark, defend Bibi Netanyahu and screw Israel is the important thing in life.

6. The Republican controlled Senate has failed America.

7. Jeb wants to get elected and if he has to insult George, so what?

8. I am beginning to miss Rick Perry and his words of wisdom.

9. Gridlock is the norm these days for government.

HEADLINES FROM WORLD PRESS

We offer samples of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

France, Connexion: “Back To Normal”

Republicans are holding the Obama administration hostage to their hated of immigrants.

Australia, Canberra Times: “Boko Haram Boast Of Slaughter”

Now we know that God wants to murder children.

Norway, Norway Post: “Guide To Dining On Budget”

Please pass me the glass of water!

Sweden, Local: “Beggars Evicted”

I assume you are not discussing Wall Street beggars who get government handouts.

Russia, Moscow Times: “Women Told Find Rich Husband”

You darn well won’t find one in Moscow unless a buddy of Putin

Why Do Israelis Elect Idiots?

Let us get a few facts clear when discussing the nation of Israel. It contains about eight million Jews in an area of the world which contains nearly two hundred million Muslims and about forty million Christians. I admit the Israel air force is the best in the region and the Israel army is certainly the best. Of course, the American army was the best in the world and has yet to be able to defeat guerrilla style forces in the region. Members of the Democratic party in the USA contacted the Israel prime minister and urged that he meet with them during his trip to the United States in order to discuss with Republicans why they are right to hate a president who was twice elected by the American people. Senator Richard Durbin and Senator Diane Feinstein asked the Israel leader to meet with Democratic senators.

Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu responded that he could not in order not to “compound the misperception of partisanship. So, the Israel leader does not wish to be perceived as favoring one party over the other. I assume that is why the Israel ambassador to the United States of America secretly met with Republican congressmen to plan this trip!

So, Israelis, why did you elect this man to lead your country. Do you people have an appointment with disaster?

Why Do Americans Distrust President Obama?

I am old enough to recall when President Franklin D. Roosevelt was hated by one third of Americans during the Depression, some even referred to him as “Roosenfeld” in order to claim he was Jewish. I remember when most Americans did not trust Barry Goldwater, the Republican candidate for president in 1964, I recall when most Americans had lost trust in Richard Nixon and I certainly recall when George Bush was not the most beloved man in the White House. But, what exactly is the reason for the intense feeling by 69% of Republicans in this nation that President Obama does “not love America?” I readily admit that Obama has made numerous political mistakes. I admit that he has lacked an overall plan in dealing with the Middle East. I admit that he could simply have extended Medicare to all Americans and gained the support of Americans for health insurance. Heck, I admit that he is an introvert who lacks political sense. He certainly does not come across as one who makes friends with those on Capital Hill.

But, for God’s sake how does his behavior translate into hating America. The man was elected by a majority of Americans twice! There is only one conclusion to this hatred THE COLOR OF HIS SKIN! Let’s face facts, at least one third of Americans still harbor race hatred.

HEADLINES FROM WORLD PRESS

We offer samples of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

USA, Newsday: “Sue Over Frozen Dinner”

Damn right, who wants to eat a frozen dinner!

Norway, Norway Post: ‘Police Shooting Disconnected”

I guess Norwegian police are learning from American.

UK, Guardian: “Get Terror Camp Active”

NO terror camps, no money spent on military.

Denmark, Copenhagen Post: “Noses Can Be Dangerous”

I give this story three ACHOOS

Russia, Moscow Times: “Is Marriage A Fraud?”

Sort of depends who is your spouse?

“General” Bill O’Reilly In Action

About thirty years ago a great war raged in the Falkland Islands which lie off the coast of Argentine. This epic struggle held the future of the world in its hands as British and Argentine soldiers clashed with one another. Over the years, Bill O’Reilly has discussed his bravery reporting the battles of this great conflict. David Corn, editor of the magazine Mother Jones, now claims this man who nightly reports the “News” on Fox News sort of embellished his role in this conflict. “For years O’ Reilly has recounted dramatic stories about his own war reporting that don’t stand up to scrutiny when claiming he acted heroically in a war zone that he apparently never stepped foot on.” Apparently he reported the Falkland ISLAND story while in Buenos Aires.

Bill is very upset at another of these LIBERAL smear campaigns to destroy his heroic actions in this conflict. After all, he could look out the window of his hotel and see the islands. Surely, this brave act counts as being in a war zone! Now about Brian Williams…

IS THE SKY FALLING?

There is no doubt the situation in the Middle East is of concern to any thinking individual. Jeb Bush, Rudy Giuliani, Rick Perry and Chris Christie want the American people to realize this situation stems from policies of the Obama administration. You remember Al-Qaeda, you remember the invasion of Iraq, you remember the invasion of Afghanistan, you remember 9/11, all events that were caused by actions of the Obama administration. Day after day Republican leaders shout and scream about the “disastrous policies” of Barack Obama. Why did this black dude from Africa send American boys to fight in the Middle East? There is no doubt that this man does not love America. One bloody invasion after another. Wait a second. Let me see:

1. Incoming President George Bush was told by outgoing President Clinton about al-Qaeda. He decided not to pay attention.

2. President George Bush ordered the invasion of Afghanistan.

3. President George Bush ordered the invasion of Iraq.

4. It was under the presidency of Republican President George Bush that al-Qaeda grew in power.

Yes, it is clear the “disastrous policies” of Barack Obama created terrorism in the Middle East!