Oh, there was a pro-Putin rally, mainly attended by civil servants who were ordered to get the heck out of the office and go freeze their butts in order to give Putin some good news. Latest polls show that Putin, who ordinarily secures 90% of the vote has a rating under 50%.

We have a hunch some interesting manipulation will occur with voting in Russia.

USA, NY Daily News:  ”GOP Leader Dies In Bathroom”

What is surprising, they spent their lies shoveling shit.

UK, Independent:  ”Broke Rules By Joining Lobby Firm”

I thought that WAS the rule!

Australia, Sydney Morning Herald:  ”Reincarnation Caused Death”

Sir, the purpose of reincarnation is to BE dead.

Sweden, Local:  ”Go Easy On Gun Toting Gangsters”

They may wind up running your government like the NRA does in America.

Russia, Moscow Times:  Putin’s Three Choices”

I win with 99%, I win with 95% or I win with only 90%.

Norway, Norway Post:  ”Prosecutor Shoots Self In Protest”

That is one way to handle losing the case.

South Africa, Argus:  ’Horse Heads Found In Malls”

Quit horsing around with such stories.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

I am the person in the group who listens to what people say without trying to find out what is wrong with what they say.

Many humans enjoy pain and failure.

Mystery of Life: Why three strikes and out by four balls are necessary for a free walk?

Never allow the contamination of hate to contaminate your mind.

Seek love and it will be found.

Some spend time pondering the fate of the world. Some trying to decide which bagel to eat.

Accept the inherent goodness of people and allow them to prove you correct or wrong.

A hug is God’s gift to humanity.

Hope must always be a companion on any trip.

Old Saying: There were giants in the land. New saying: There are pygmies in the land.

Sweden, Local:  ”Fake Boobs”

Big deal, we have fake political leaders.

Czeck Republic, Prague Post:  ”Government Reaches Deal With Doctors”

For each dead person, you get bonus for emptying hospitals.

Denmark, Copenhagen Post:  ”We Have Low Goals”

Slogan of Republican Congressmen.

Russia, Moscow Times:”Work Begins On Electoral Reform”

From now on, Putin only gets 88% of the vote.

France, Connexion:  ”France Lumbers Up For Baby Making”

Penis, in upright position!

Norway, Norway Post:  ”Butter Shortage Hits Norway”

I guess they are going down the slippery slope.

USA, Newsday:    ”Two Hurt In Cesspool Explosion”

This is one messy story.

New Zealand, New Zealand Herald:  ’Mushroom Alert”

Always happens on a cloudy day.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

I feel awkward speaking on cell phone in restaurant. I am Depression born.

If God did not exist, what would Republican candidates discuss?

Television is inhabited by smiling faces who even smile reporting sad news.

Tomorrow, all will shop at Family Dollar

If an appointment is at 9, I expect service at 9.

I was raised in a land of handshakes, today there is a land of shakedowns.

In a group of elderly men, one has a beard, just one.

Short skirt, high heels, always attracts males.

Some clasp hands between legs while listening. I don’t.

I measure my health by the length of time a cold lingers.

Some retain grudges whose origin is long forgotten.

In every occupation, there is a moment of lull.

UK, Independent:  ”I Will Cut Off Safety Net”

I enjoy hearing the sounds of bodies hitting the ground.

South Africa, Argus:  ”The Way We Were”

Which certainly is not the way we are.

Russia, Moscow Times:  ”Schools Have 100% Passing Rate”

Now, you know why Russia needs Putin in power.

Saudi Arabia, Saudi Gazette:  ”Workers Near Holy Site Need Permission”

I guess one checks with any bodies in the area.

Sweden, Local:  ”Wealthy Families Cash In”

When don’t they?

China, China Daily:  ”Marriages Need Love”

Not in North Korea, they need food!

Indonesia, Jakarta Pos:  ”Pee Wee Potter”

At least he has someplace to pee in.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

The greatest hero in human history was the person who figured out the wheel.

If you can’t hit a home run, bunt to get on base.

Some are people of constant sorrow. How sorrowful.

Some walk briskly into a diner. I meander.

A group of four young girls cannot be silenced.

Some keep sunglasses on top of head, some in hand, I am former.

Chinese parents more than others speak the native language in public.

I can only recall what registered on my mind.

If there is no hope in life there is no hopeful life.

In the end, finally, no more doctors or dentists.

I never sit inside a restaurant with hands in pockets.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

If one has done good for me, I will never become angry at the person.

I believe in the old adage that good defense is worth more than a good offense.

I dream of what never will be because it raises possibilities of what can be.

Some are born to fame, some simply enjoy the fame of being alive.

Some never forget, never forgive and never find peace of heart.

Some walk through life with a smile on face.

Never underestimate the human capacity to hate–or to love!

A shared good memory should linger in one’s heart.

For many, the great decision in life is which bagel to eat and what to put on it.

If you tarry too long, Mitt Romney will express an idea you agree with.

Rick Santorum is the kid in class who gets the first part of what the teacher said and never hears the conclusion.

I so await a Republican candidate who says, “God Damn it!”

I could never believe in a God who favors one political party over another.

Dad braids little girl’s hair while mom watches. Welcome to modern America.

Pretending to be a Holocaust victim in the year, 2011, simply did not even impress Israel political leaders who believe Jews can do no wrong. A new law proposed in the Knesset would make it a crime to insult others by calling them “Nazis” or to dress up as though in a death camp. I assume this does not include plays or films about the Holocaust. In other words, words like Nazi, Holocaust, 3rd Reich and Hitler are banned in polite company.

The proposed ban on language is simply one more piece of evidence that Israel dislikes the concept of being a democracy.

Pino Migliorino, of the Federation of Ethnic Communities Councils, who like Gambrino is of Italian heritage, pointed out an historical piece of data. “Teresa Gambaro comes from the same background as mine and we grew up being called dirty wogs.” I recall being told in elementary school that we east European Jewish children had to use soap and water more frequently because we smelled.

Ms. Gambaro admitted that her comments might be termed insensitive by those who lack a sensitive nose.

She spent most of her life under the rule of the notorious, Commission for the Promotion of Virtue  and Prevention of Vices” which is ready to whip, torture, imprison of chop off the head of those lacking virtues. For people of Saudi Arabia, says Ms. Aziz, “it is such a non-tolerant atmosphere.” The religious police have “a dangerous effect on society” by segregating men and women and brain-washing them to believe women exist to serve.

There is something sad about a nation in the 21st century which believes allowing a woman to drive a car is the first step on the road to ending society. We recommend to the Commission For the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vices, that its ideas would be warmly welcomed by current candidates for the Republican presidential nomination!

1. The Chicago Cubs will NOT win the World Series.

2. Newt Gingrich will be caught in another love triangle.

3.  Mitt will gain the Republican nomination for president and in October will announce that he is now in favor of abortion, and government job programs because polls show most Americans want those things.

4. Michele Bachmann will be barred from calling God anymore.

5. Sarah Palin will kill a bear–with a gun, that is.

6. December, 2012 Wall Street Xmas bonus payments will not exceed $200 billion. Wall Street folk will have to endure another year of poverty.

7. Jobs will boom for those willing to work for $8 an hour.

8. America will fall even further behind nations in life expectancy.

9. Green Bay Packers will win the Super Bowl.

10. Dominique Strauss-Kahn will be caught taking a shower with young Boy Scouts.

11. Tea Party stalwarts will be forced to drink castor oil after being defeated for their jobs in Congress.

12. Rick Perry will forget where the governor’s office is located but will be found by some good hearted unemployed folk.

13. Ron Paul will announce that henceforth he will not make use of anything built by “government.” He will walk to work to avoid using government built roads.

14. Rick Santorum will announce God told him to become a gay Muslim.

15. On June 23, 2012 not a single American will watch any TV show. The end of the world!

Dissident leaders estimate about 130 people have been killed in Syria since Arab League observers first step down in their nation. Yesterday, 4 people were killed in the city of Talkalakh. Of course, those killed were not murdered by Syrian forces since we all know they were whisked away by Mossad and CIA agents in order to blame the Syrian government for there supposed deaths.

Ah, the fantasy  land of Putin. Never allow reality to intrude!

“Is there a common platform there?No, there isn’t. We need to talk to everybody about their claims, about their problems, but it will require some thinking.”

“The dialogue should take place with opposition leaders. In what form, I will think about it… Who do we talk with?”

Let me get this straight. Prime Minister Putin wants to talk to someone about something, but is not clear what the other people want or what they should talk about, but he is ready to talk with them after he thinks about it some more. The problem from his perspective is the opposition leaders do not agree with his ideas about what should go on in Russia so he will talk to them, that is, if he decides to talk with them, about something.

It is very clear, Comrade Putin. Stalin could not have made it any clearer.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

Given Republicans inability to find a competent presidential candidate, never ask for their advice to find a competent plumber.

Fox News issued a correction. They presented an accurate story.

Newt Gingrich called for arresting “activist judges.” You know, just what the Founding Fathers wanted.

I always check to see if the child’s nose matches either parent’s nose.

If mom lowers head to talk to child, the kid had better beware.

The coffee shop was out of its Winter Blend. How can a coffee shop  be out of coffee?

Muslims are charged with seeking to overthrow US government, but no one charges Republican candidates with seeking to overthrow the US Constitution!

Big butts do not necessarily translate into big minds.

Some speak with a gaze of awe.

When mom and dad and kids are in booth, the issue is which one first rises to leave?

In my childhood, we brought pennies for starving children in China, I guess these days we should bring dollars to school for starving American children.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

In the end of life, one finally finds eternal silence.

Silence for teen age girls last, at best, three seconds.

Obese older men and women should not wear hanging jeans.

Some walk swinging arms like our ancestors, the gorillas.

As a Depression child, cheaper is always better and quality ain’t worth a damn.

My mind is constantly in the sky with  Voyager space ship leaving our solar system. Oh to be on it

Most misused word is “gifted.” All humans have some form of gift beginning with being alive.

Never fear night, day is coming along.

I am still startled for a moment seeing a teacher wearing jeans. I taught for over 50 years and have never worn them.

Newt Gingrich is living proof  being a college professor can all too often demonstrate one does not have the brain power of a garbage collector.

Sweden, Local:   “Half Swedes Unsure If Driving While Drunk”

Big deal, we have a Congress that legislates and the trouble is they are NOT drunk.

UK, Independent:  ”Most Brits Satisfied With Life”

Then again, most Brits satisfied with the weather.

South Africa, Mail &Guardian:  ”Why Did Chicken Cross Border”

He just could not take any more of Bashar al-Assad.

France, Connexion:  ”Strauss-Kahn Details Uninhibited Sex Life”

This is definitely not news.

Australia, Sydney Morning Herald:  ”Stay In Touch”

God, if only our Congress could stay in touch with reality.

Norway, Norway Post:   “A Negro Is A Negro To Me”

Something very dark about this comment.

Denmark, Copenhagen Post:  ”Oh My  God What Have I Done?”

I actually thought Mitt Gingrich said an intelligent thing!

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

All too often, I feel like responding when a person speaking on a cell phone poses a question.

Each day, Newt says, “I’m an historian,” Herman says something that borders on idiocy, and Mitt says, “I think this is what I believe–at least today.”

Americans today live for today and ignore tomorrow.

Whatever happened to Sarah Palin?

I prefer being alone in an eating establishment in order to observe the  human condition. I get filled with wonder.

To trust life, is to be disappointed, but also made happy–occasionally.

I enjoy morning solitude and evening silence.

For parents, the greatest gift are children who possess integrity and compassion.

These days I rarely think about Barack Obama. He is and will always be the mystery of my life. Unfortunately, also for most Americans.

A baby in mom’s arms possesses the gaze of wonder.

I always make funny faces for children.

High IQ rarely translates into creative thinking. They are too busy seeking an “A” grade.

One increasingly concludes there are no great men or women in modern life–at least, in America.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

Never  lock the door on an interesting idea.

Who among us can cast the first stone? I know at least 8 Republicans seeking to be president who can.

To honor thyself requires honoring others.

Some see the world as is, some see world as it used to be, and some see the world as it can be.

People feel proud being members of a group. I am proud of simply being a human.

No political leader offers a dream. But, they know about nightmares.

Some smile while reading a newspaper, I do not.

I lost a filling in my mouth, I have no idea where it went.

To be human is to do what we complain others should not do.

Winter bring cold. All too often, cold hearts.

The current crop of Republican presidential candidates are a gift to comedy writers.

I “am” for the moment, I “can be” for eternity.

Billionaire owner, Alisher Usmanov, was furious at this display of “petty hooliganism.” Of course, the reporters did not express this view about Vladmir Putin, it was stated by a voter and the story dealt with voters.  Mr. Kovalsky defended reporters, “I do not regret that that the magazine’s latest issue was as it was.” Sorry, sir, but the latest issue did not accord with proper rules of Russia. The Emperor is never wrong!

Newt now wraps himself in the mantle of  morality. He wants to  bring morality to the American people. Newt would like poor children to work cleaning up schools in order to engender good work habits. I assume he believes middle and upper class kids have good morality and there is no need for them to clean schools. I assume most middle class  kids are like him–a serial fornicator who cheats on wives and tells them he wants a divorce when they are going through cancer.

I lack such high standards of morality. Barack Obama lacks the Gingrich standards. He actually has been with the same wife  for all his married life. Perhaps, if Obama screwed more women, he might learn more about the American people.

Newt Gingrich is the kid in class who just HAD to tell everyone what he read in the encyclopedia last night.

‘My sadness, of course  pales in comparison to the losses and hardships that customers, employees, and investors suffered as a result of MF Global’s bankruptcy.” Oh, there was a minor issue of $1.2 Billion that is unaccounted for  which sort of represents a lot of money. “I simply do not know where the money is.”

We decided to do some investigation in order to ascertain the location of the missing $1.2 Billion. Following are what has been uncovered by our intrepid investigators;

1. The Tooth Fairy does NOT deny she might have the money, nor will she admit that she has the money.

2.  Gay and Lesbian groups refuse to admit possessing the money which  might be used in the coming election to defeat their opponents.

3. Donald Trump refuses to discuss this sum of money. When we contacted him, he was working on his hair.

4.  Newt Gingrich was confused because he thought the publisher was going to give him $1.2 Billion for rights to his latest outburst of brilliance.

5. President Karzai of Afghanistan said he could not be bothered by such small change and don’t call again.

After the practice, Tyra got into a fight with a girl who called her a “black piece of shit.” Tyra was suspended until the principal found out about the cheer and then he suspended the entire squad. I guess the girls do have a point. How about some new cheers:

‘One, two, three, from the girls who are Sluts!”

or

“One, two, three, whore all for it!”

I like Rod. At least he is honest, open and willing to admit he does some things in order to get some things. That is simply good old American free enterprise at work. I think in this case we ought to spare the rod in order to be open about our political system which is composed of bribery, extortion and graft. Don’t rid us of Rod, either use the rod to spank members of Congress or let everyone get a piece of the pie.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

Our Cro-Magnon ancestors feared the unknown, so do we.

Spontaneity was the norm of our childhood, now we are “mature.” I prefer childhood.

Children skip through life, adults skip away from life.

We have senior citizen discounts, now we need student loan discounts.

A woman who loves hubby, rubs his back while waiting on line.

These days when two adults are eating, it is a hefty affair.

Young children must kick something or someone. It is in their genes.

I often wonder what Jewish Jesus Christ thinks about Christmas.

We have a Recession, but people’s weight makes them believe they are in a Depression.

I become furious if someone spells their name, “Melvyn.” It is “Melvin.”

There is a moment when a stranger’s eyes catch yours and you wonder if a nod or words should follow.

Flash:  We just received an email from God Himself. He wants Americans to know that He has been observing Cain clandestine affairs with the woman for years so there is no surprise. His only surprise is how supposedly rational and intelligent humans actually thought this black faced comedian had anything to say other than trying out for a minstrel show in which he could play the stupid black faced fool.

The only fools are those who thought this man had at least one intelligent thing to utter!

Sweden, Local:  ”Woman Arrested For Shooting Husband In Back”

Shoot him in the front, but in the back leads to jail.

Norway, Norway Post:  ”Thief Hides Loot In Underwear”

This will be one smelly arrest, if you ask me.

South Africa, Argus:  ”Cow Dung Powers Homes”

Big deal, lobbyist shit powers Congress.

UK, Independent:  ”I Hug Trees”

You will make a wonderful married couple.

New Zealand, New Zealand Herald:  ”Murdoch Son Denies Being At Meeting”

In fact, he denies being son of Rupert Murdoch.

Russia, Moscow Times:  ”Demand Probe Of  Watchdog”

Wouldn’t it be more effective to have the watch dog, watch?

South Africa, Mail & Guardian:  ”How To Buy A Degree”

Is there a Phoenix in your life?

The ad soundtract has Mugabe recalling the good old days with dictators to the tune of “those were the days.” He and Muammar Gaddafi engage in a water fight and then Mugabe makes sand angels with departed Saddam Hussein.

My question is: Does Mugabe dislike truth in advertisement?

Meanwhile, back in Jerusalem, Benjamin Netanyahu refuses to discuss peace with President Abbas who wants peace and hanging around on the outside is Hamas, the supposed center of  terrorism which announced it would not use violence, would accept the 1967 boundary with Israel and work with the Palestinian Authority. Naturally, such words of peace met with violent reactions from Israel leaders.

Who knows what tomorrow brings to the Middle East. Perhaps, we will awake to discover that Iraq is going to war against Saudi Arabia or Yemen wants to invade Jordan. Anything is possible in the Middle East. Just hang around for the next furor.

Rick is once again having liberals make fun of him. OK, so he doesn’t know the age at which Americans vote! Big Deal! OK, so he thinks election day is November 12. He was only off by one week! You nit picking liberals think you know everything. I think what really bugs liberals is that Rick and Herman are good Christian men. Jesus Christ hung around with women, but no one accuses him of having an affair!

Why don’t liberal men get into an affair and learn how to avoid sex with the woman for 13 years. See if you can do it, Herman CAN.