Category Archives: Satire

Eric Garner Story Continues

The city of New York has agreed to pay $5.9 MILLION to the family of Eric Garner who was choked to death by policemen. Naturally, not a single cop has been charged with a single crime for the murder of Eric Garner. The medical examiner ruled his death to be an example of homicide, but in the world of police and bad people, there are always bad people, but never bad cops. Failure to indict a single cop for this crime is merely another example of protecting those who are charged with protecting people.

Eric Garner’s last words were: “I can’t breathe.” The best way to protect our police forces is to get rid of those who do not live up to the most important rule for police- protect citizens!

Oh The Glory Of God!

These days the easiest way to explain away any act of murder is simply to say: “This is for the glory of God!” ISIS just blew up a parked car in front of the Italian consulate in Cairo for the glory of God. ISIS blows up statues that have been around for a few thousand years for the glory of God. People get their heads chopped off for the glory of God. Kill a few kids today who happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and simply note this was for the glory of God.

I guess in the future when someone desires to rob a bank, all they have to shout at the teller, “this is for the glory of God, not for me.” I assume this means God has run out of cash and needs it right now. I wonder if God goes around blowing up planets for the glory of God??

Judge Who Judges Crazy!

There is a judge in Oakland County, Michigan who would win the prize for being the most incompetent member of the cloth ever to sit in a judge’s seat. Justice Lisa Gorcyca Jude decided to send three children, ages 9, 10,and 11 to a juvenile detention center because the kids would not “talk to their father!” Then again, how does one rate a father who goes to court seeking aid to get his kids talking with him? Then again,how many millions of parents are happy if their kids don not want to talk with them, at least it provides a few moments of peace.\

She was ready to hold the kids “in contempt of court”and off to a juvenile detention center “until you graduate from high school!” Judge Jude wanted proof they are talking with dad. Finally, common sense prevailed. The only way the “kids can heal their relationship with him” is for this man to begin acting like a father!

HEADLINES FROM WORLD PRESS

We offer samples of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

France, Connexion: “Prepare For Hot Times”

Donald is in town.

Hungary, Budapest Times: “US Receives Ham”

And, his name sure is not Bibi Netanyahu!

Russia, Moscow Times: “Launch Witch Hunt”

For Republicans, there are always immigrants to hunt.

Norway, Norway Post: “Librarians Partied With Funds”

Let me read some more about this.

Australia, Canberra Times: “Driver Took Bomber To Bomb”

Hopefully, he bombed out.

“I Can’t Breathe” Again

It is increasingly evident that American police respond to the cry of, “I Can’tBreathe”with drawn revolvers and ensuring there are no more such cries. Jonathan Sanders lived in the small town of Stonewall in the beautiful state of Mississippi, and one day he went out for a stroll on his horse. I assume in this small, small town, people sort of know one another. For some reason, he got into an altercation with police officer Kevin Harrington and the end result was Mr. Sanders was yanked from the buggy, and choked to death by a flashlight.

Let me see: I assume the police officer had access to taser, to pepper spray or to simply using his mouth in order to revolve this situation. Naturally, the police insist that Mr. Harrington was the victim and his life was in danger so what else could he do but end the horrible noise of, “I Can’t Breathe!”

JebBushmonics

There are rumors that Jeb Bush is the more intelligent of the Bush family members. He has made a lot of money, he was a governor of the state of Florida, and according to him, any jobs obtained by anyone in that state during his tenure in office was a direct result of his executive actions. He is back in politics, after deciding to take a break from making lots of dough. After all, being the son of a president sort of helps one in getting to know the right people who ensure that you will wind up with lots of dough.

Anyway, Jeb has an economic plan that will lead to a 4% growth in job productivity. It is a simple idea. “People need to work longer hours, and through the productivity gain, make more income for their families.” So, I work more and get more, and so does the boss. I do understand that if I begin working 60 hours a week instead of forty, the boss makes more money. And, yes, productivity rises.

Mouth That Always Roars

The ultimate nightmare for Republicans has emerged. Donald Trump has hit the campaign trail with a thundering entry that,for the moment, has shaken the entire Republican campaign. NO, he will not win the nomination, but for the following seventeen months, this mouth that can never be silenced, and this crude, bombastic candidate has the money and time to cause havoc within the Republican search for a leader. Republicans have created the monster by a non-stop campaign to vilify any who dare oppose them. Instead of cooperating and working with Obama to secure laws that made sense, they could not shut up in uttering their hateful words. In Republican normality, say anything, shout hate and anger, and what eventually appears-Donald Trump?

Paul Begala is a Democrat who frequently appears on CNN to offer analysis. He now is sharing his latest analysis. “I am a person of faith– and Donald’s entry into this race can only be attributed to the fact that the Lord is a Democrat with a sense of humor.” Ted Cruz proved his point-“Donald was terrific.” None thing else to add.

ONLY IN AMERICA

Every so often having nothing better to do in my life, I make lists as to why America is such an exceptional nation.

1. We are the only industrial nation that does not have paid leave for those having babies.

2. We rank God knows where in our fast trains.

3. We are the only nation that has God on our side.

4. We have absolutely no interest in our infrastructure.

5.We definitely lead the world in the number of peoples seeking the nation’s top job.

6. We are the birth place of Donald Trump, trump that,I dare you!

7. We definitely lead the world in possession of guns. Take that,ISIS!

8. We lead the world in the number of people in prison.

9. We lead the world in the number of people killed by guns.

10.We definitely will not be the place that Jesus comes to when he returns.

HEADLINES FROM WORLD PRESS

We offer samples of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

New Zealand, New Zealand Herald: “Mystery Man”

The guy who places his name in the sweepstakes for the Republican nomination.

Sweden,Local: “Coming Up Short”

I do not think 16 candidates for the presidency are sufficient choices for America.

France, Connexion: “End Mixed Marriages”

Do not allow males to marry female horses?

Turkey, Hurriyet: “Golden Toilet Seat”

Definitely the only one that Donald Trump would sit on.

Australia, Canberra Times: “Cheap Work For Sale”

The only kind allowed in America.

AIPAC Strikes Again

In 1967, Israel armed forces launched a surprise attack upon several Arab nations including Jordan and Egypt. Historians even today argue as to whether or not there was a real threat of an attack by Egypt upon Israel. It is doubtful if we ever will know the real story regarding a possible secret attack by Egyptian forces. But, we do know that when Israel captured what is known as the “West Bank”(then part of Jordan) it was assuming control of a Palestine area the UN in 1948 assigned to Palestinians. Israel “supporters” and personally doubt if these people actually support an Israel goal of living at peace with Arab nations, insist the Israel government has a right to occupy and posses the West Bank. I gather that God assigned this piece of Earth to Jews.

Republicans and Democrats in Congress added an item to a trade bill with Europe which requires American officials to lobby Europeans to end boycotts of Israel goods from the West Bank. Talk about intruding in the affairs of other sovereign nations! President Obama justifiably was critical of this blatant attack upon the right of European nations to make foreign policy decisions. Some Israelis insist that God is on their side, just as the Ted Cruz crowd believe God is on THEIR side.

We do know that God is really on the side of Donald Trump.