Category Archives: Satire

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition  from a 22 year old mind trapped in an 82 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

I always read throw away newspapers, one never knows what one will learn.

I tried a black cherry smoothie, not too smooth in the stomach.

Tall boys tower over me as they walk past me.

For some reason, I inhabit a planet in which reason is a stranger.

Some shuffle papers with delight.

I grow bored listening to people who want war.

I await calmly the day when I will shuffle, not walk.

I was taught as a child that to panic leads to injury.

Some write to gain fame, I write to live.

Which is worse, to know what happens tomorrow or to forget yesterday?

To ignore Fate is to ignore life.

It is either darkness or  light that ends darkness.

We send men to fight, but when they return, everyone for himself.

All too often, we doubt our capabilities.

There are moments in life to recall, other times to forget.

I regret nothing  I did in life, what was, was. Move on.

Earth Day Not A Day Today

Eath day began in the early  1970s, a time before Facebook and the soical media. Gee, it was nearly half a century ago when people actually began to think about the earth and its environment. Original surveys discovered that 63% of Americans regarded the environment as an important issue and another 25 % were also concerned. Fast forward to 2013 and only 41% think it is important while 16% don’t lose any sleep over what happens to the planet. After all, on Facebook, there are more important issues of the day-what did you have for breakfast? Or, what are you wearing to work today? And, of great importance, please, please send me pictures of your children!!

Social media has shifted concern for our planet’s survival to concern for the petty issues of every day life. Imagine going through an entire day without sharing the fact you hurt your toe! Wow! The Earth will conclude, not with a bang, but with a whimper from someone whose feelings were hurt because you did not share your dinner menu with them!

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 22 year old mind trapped in an 82 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

It is required when entering a coffee shop to gaze around.

I am the guy who picks up the dropped cup.

There are times to challenge Fate, other times to accept it.

I have never felt fear on a  city street.

I am a natural born nurse.

Somewhere at the end of the rainbow is an end.

I have never wished upon a star, I just want to visit one.

If you stride, then you apparently know where you are going.

It is what one does not know that is a concern.

I do not understand why an employee of a fast food place brings a drink to work.

Age may bring wisdom, but it is certain to bring old legs.

It is a long time since I heard the word, “nosh.”

Some smile after getting coffee.

Some walk on the edge of the sidewalk, ready to dash across the street?

Eventually, we will all be employees of robots.

Some say, “end is near,”I prefer, “beginning is near.”

Just remember that in the end there is a beginning.

Some

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 22 year old mind trapped in an 82 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

Question-who exactly made God?

Some believe in God, some in fate.

I hate keeping people waiting for me.

One lucky night shooting three pointers can allow any basketball team to win.

Why is hate a more powerful emotion than love?

In reality there is no reality.

Bright sun, then snow, why?

I still doubt all weather predictors.

One can surrender to sickness or fight it.

To me, turmoil IS the human condition.

Take the long view of life, safer.

Sometimes the abnormal is normal.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 22 year old mind trapped in an 82 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

I am only allowed to win a scratch off if the sum is one dollar.

I encounter many young people who do not recognize kindness.

Fun has disappeared from the lives of little children.

I am a courteous person.

Modern life-dad sits with kids while mom gets food.

It is questions asked not  answers given that distinguishes wise man from  fool.

I walk slower but think quicker.

My new tendency is life is to spill drinks.

Some regard self as God like, God does not.

It is one thing to be ignorant, another to be stupid.

Some sit with pensive look clutching drink to chest.

Some sit hunched over coffee.

If an individual wants to fail, he will.

Carrey Cold Dead Hands!

The National Rifle Association is to intelligent discussion what Adolf Hitler was to intelligent discussion regarding the Jewish question. Actor Jim Carrey has enough of the blond haired cute nonsense speaking heads on Fox News so he put on a comedy show to have fun. Of course, it is easy to understand why Fox News and the NRA are upset, his comedy appeared to be funnier than what they perform every day of the year. Carry had a video in which he portrays Lonesome Earl, a country western singer performing a track entitled, “Cold Hand Dead.” He poked fun at now dead, and happy, Charlton Heston, former head of the NRA. IN the video, Heston shoots off his own foot.

I do not recall that brave freedom loving Charlton Heston ever fought for the United States of America in any war. He, like most on Fox News, displays incredible bravery mocking real heroes like John Kerry and Chuck Hagel who risked their lives defending our nation.

As Carrey responded to Fox News attacks on him: “I sincerely believe that in time Fox News will be remembered as nothing more than a giant culture fart.” Amen.

HEADLINES FROM WORLD PRESS

We offer samples of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

UK, Independent:  ”Life Not Bad Under Nazis”

Plenty of  jobs and guns to satisfy and NRA member.

Denmark, Copenhagen Post:  ”Bed Intruder Startles 80 Year Old Man”

Not if  it was a she!

Sweden, Local:  ”Changes To Dog Regulations”

All dogs entitled to three barks and hour.

Germany, Der Spiegel: “People Pay Money For That!”

A hamburger at McDonalds!

Russia, Moscow Times:  ”Easter Bunnies Freezing”

Why not hop to a warmer climate?

USA, NY Daily News:  ”White Man’s Perspective”

Just eat white bread?

UK, Independent:  ”Just Like Jesus”

Gets himself crucified!

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 22 year old mind trapped in an 82 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

My body reveals evidence of age, not my mind.

Choice, a decaying body or decaying mind?

I feel cheated if someone in coffee shop is sitting in MY seat.

I wonder what is the most difficult decision for God.

We say, “thank God”for good things but not bad ones.

I do not wish evil to others, leave that to the Devil.

For many, working in a caring  occupation leads to not caring.

Teenage boy dream-buying lunch for gorgeous girl.

A bewildering sight for one born in Depression is girl buying boy lunch.

Some fear Death, some fear life.

All too often I am among people, not with them.

I am Jewish by birth but inwardly possess the Irish melancholy.

I rarely stand with hands in jacket pockets.

I was born old.

HEADLINES FROM WORLD PRESS

We offer samples of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

Australia, Sydney Morning Herald:  ”Perfect Story”

Republicans finally understand economics 101.

Turkey, Hurriyet:  ”Online Shopping Booms”

Employment declines in stores.

Sweden, Local: “Child Poverty Debate”

Let them starve or let them live decent lives?

Denmark, Copenhagen Post:  ”Doomsday Drama”

Republicans playing roles of idiots.

Russia, Moscow Times:  ”Putin Not Pictured With Crime Boss”

Unless it is a photograph of him?

Canada, Toronto Star:  ”I Was A Bully”

Confessions of Newt Gingrich.

HEADLINES FROM WORLD PRESS

We offer samples of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

New Zealand, New Zealand Herald:  ”I’m A Flawed Character”

Who isn’t?

Norway, Norway Post:  ”Zookeeper For A Day”

Hopefully not for Congress.

USA, aol:  ”Cat Deal Ends In Kidnapping”

A meow ending.

Australia, Sydney Morning Herald:  ”City Sizzles”

A hot time in the old town.

Turkey, Hurriyet:  ”Lawyer Taken Into Custody”

The issue is for how long.

Sweden, Local:  ”Beat Child For Being A Witch”

Was it caught  red handed around a boiling pot?

Denmark, Copenhagen Post:  ”Mayor Burns Party Card”

Oh well, no more gay times at parties for this guy.