Category Archives: Satire

On Getting Dumped, Cluck, Cluck!

Every so often when one grows weary of words of fear coming from Fox News it provides a calm moment of life to focus on something that is simply an example of life on this beleaguered planet. There is a girl in China whose boyfriend dumped her. So, how does a female get over being dumped? This young damsel headed for the nearest Kentucky Fried Chicken outlet and proceeded to spend a week eating chicken wings in order to get over the sorrow she was experiencing. Her story touched me because I also feel that I have been dumped by someone who I once thought cared about me. NO, it is not a beautiful woman, NO, it is not a handsome man, it is a man I once trusted to focus on the issues confronting America. Back in 2009, I thought newly elected Barack Obama was a man who had a from grasp of what it entailed to be President. Alas, such was my folly of thinking. So, what does one do when dumped by a political leader?

1. I might try McDonald’s and devour their hamburgers for days. Most probably, it would result in an upset stomach.

2. I could eat spaghetti everyday for a week, and wind up feeling Italian.

3. I could drink endless sodas and pee for eternity.

In reality, I do feel that a loved one dumped me. In reality I simply do not know how to confront this issue. Frankly, I do not see a single Democrat on the horizon with the intelligence, the ideas, the courage to confront the reality of modern America and provide ideas to solve our problems. We once had giants in the land, today, we have men and women whose idea of leadership is securing millions in contributions. Perhaps, this girl has the right idea, find a fast food outlet and spend some time devouring its contents.

On the other hand, there is the famous words of labor organizer, Joe Hill, who preparing to get murdered by the government of Colorado, sent a message to fellow union members: ORGANIZE!

HEADLINES FROM WORLD PRESS

We offer samples of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

Sweden, Local: “Oldest Eeel Dies At 155″

Big deal, we have at least 220 heels in the House of Representatives.

USA, aol. “Does Race Matter”

it depends upon how fast you are.

Russia, Moscow Times: “Russian Journalist Missing In Ukraine”

That isn’t the only thing or person missing in Putin Russia.

Denmark, Copenhagen Post: “Police Shut Down Illegal Hotel”

Was that “shut down” or “shake down?”

Africa, Mail & Guradian: “Health Workers Injure Disabled Man”

Now, you know why he is disabled!

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 24 year old mind trapped in an 84 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

I always eat the bottom portion of a bagel first.

I saw this incredibly young mom with three kids. She must spend her days exercising.

I wonder if on holidays planes stop flying with their mail?

Every time I see a teen with a ten dollar bill it awakens feelings of awe for this Depression child.

I picked up three quarters. God leaves quarters, not dollars.

If I see a table with elderly people, I think it is “them,” not “me.”

A man spoke wisdom when he said “if you build a house in a hollow, why are you surprised that it gets flooded?”

My mind never thinks about the finality of life, too interesting being alive.

I picked up the phone and Lisa and Bob wanted to give me a TV. How sweet.

I do not like a stranger on the phone addressing me as, “Fred.”

I am the child of immigrants so I support all immigrants, legal or illegal.

Obvious Is Obvious!

The German secret police, the BND, have concluded their investigation into the shooting down of the Malaysian plane, MH17 which was flying over Ukraine when a missile blasted it to pieces. According to our beloved leader, the Great Vladimir Putin, the reason for this disaster was evident–some Nazis emerged from their graves in Ukraine, grabbed a missile system and shot down the plane. If the Great One explains any event, it is always the truth. For some strange reason, these Germans,and please remember, they are Germans, simply will not accept the truth. The BND told a parliamentary committee that Ukraine separatists had captured a BUK air defense missile system at a Ukraine military base, and used it to shoot down the plane. Although over 100 Dutch citizens died in the crash, the Netherlands has not been actively pursuing any investigations of the disaster.

This report will be filed. German newspapers are filled with stories of anger. Vladimir Putin will pontificate once again about Nazis. And, in the end, this story will disappear into the black hole of never doing anything about evil men in our time. Frankly, the stakes are too high. Russia has nuclear weapons, and when a nation is in possession of such weapons of mass destruction, we simply gaze in another direction. Such is modern life.

HEADLINES FROM WORLD PRESS

We offer samples of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

Turkey, Hurriyet: “Clues About Oracle Uncovered”

No, he is not Ted Cruz!

USA, NY Daily News: “Slum Lord Lives In Mansion”

Being a slum lord is the road to living in mansion.

South Africa, Mail & Guardian: “Pistorious Could Be Gang Raped In Jail”

In America this could never occur, inmates have constitutional rights to carry guns!

Norway, Norway Post: “Pastor Dies After Writing Nude Girls”

Was it the writing or the nude girls that gave him the heart attack?

China, China Daily: “Tips For Driving In China”

Red means go?

Don’t Sing On Subway Platforms!

I was born and bred on the streets of the Bronx in New York City. I spent the initial twenty years of my life riding the subway and thus became acquainted with rules of behavior on this method of transportation. The most important rule taught me was to “mind your own business.” If some people wanted to sing on the subway, let them blast away. If some people came asking for coins, just shut your eyes and pretend to be asleep. Actually, I did enjoy listening to young boys and girls sing since it made the journey more enjoyable. As long as others kept their hands off my body, let them perform and be happy was my slogan of life. Andrew Kalleen was playing music and singing on a subway platform when challenged by police to cease and desist. He refused. Actually, Mr. Kalleen cited the New York City Transit code which specifically allows “artistic performances” and even allows “kindly acceptance of donations.”

This response was to New York City police a defiance. Police continued to insist that one needed a “permit” to sing. The police were wrong and they were further wrong to arrest Mr. Kalleen. The real issue why are police wasting their time arresting people for legally singing in the subway? This is just another example of the fallacy of our “broken windows” theory which insists upon arresting small crimes in order to prevent more important ones. How about New York police entering Wall Street offices and enforce laws against small crimes? Oops, all they would find would be LARGE CRIMES!

Songs never caused people to fear for their lives!!

Pope Francis Pooped On By Bishops!

Thee is no question that Pope Francis seeks to introduce changes in the Catholic Church that would make millions of Catholics more willing to attend religious services. He supported efforts by modern thinking Bishops in the recent conclave to offer a welcome of greeting to homosexuals that encouraged them to attend church services. It was apparent when members of the conclave argued that gays and lesbians should be equal members of the Church that such talk was regarded as heresy by the majority. Even though Pope Francis was supporting those seeking to transform the Catholic Church into a 21st century institution, in the end those who have fixed thinking that what was true in the fifteenth century must be true today. The original document that was written with the full support of Pope Francis was changed at the end.\

The document now reads that “people with homosexual tendencies must be welcomed with respect and dignity” but the document went on to insist that marriage is only between a man and a woman. The original document said that gays and lesbians had “gifts to offer the Church.” Pope Francis is now at a crossroad, can he push ahead for changes that might encourage those leaving the Church to return, or does he allow conservatives to deny the existence of a modern world? He might have to become more of a leader with a firm grip on events if the Catholic Church is to be saved from its own rigidity!

Return Of Poll Tax

Asa boy growing up in New York City during the 1930s we read with dismay stories from the South about requiring people to pay a poll tax in order to vote or requiring Negroes to recite passages from a state Constitution in order to vote. I thought those days of denying the right to vote had ended in America. Alas, little did I know that five members of the US Supreme Court simply did not believe in the right to vote. Oh, they believe firmly in the right of corporations to speak their minds without interference from government. They believe corporations have the right to tell employees whether or not they have the right to medicines, but these five MEN do not believe that an American citizen has the right to go vote without paying for it.

Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is furious at her colleagues who denied an injunction against the Texas voter ID law by an appellate judge. “The greatest threat to public confidence in this case is the prospect of enforcing a purposely discriminatory law, one that likely impinges an unconstitutional poll tax and risks denying the right to vote to hundreds of thousands of eligible voters.” She went on to note that the state of Texas has ben found in violation of the Voting Rights Act in every election from and after the 1970s.

If Texas wants people to have a voter ID why not send one to every voter in the state of Texas??

Bombs Away At Kobani

Air strikes continue on ISIS forces that are attacking the Kurdish city of Kobani. There is something ironic that over a decade after American forces invaded Iraq, American forces are still fighting in Iraq. Of course, once upon a time, the government of Turkey was our “ally,” but today the government of President Recep Erdogan is committed to the war against terrorists from Kurdistan whom he considers to be a greater threat than any ISIS force. Bombs fall on Kobani as Turkish tanks and troops watch the action from a mile away in Turkey. American and other coalition planes drop bombs, and seek to destroy ISIS through the air. Once again, Americans believe that bombs dropped from planes will “destroy the enemy.” Examine the facts of bombing from the air:

1. US and British air forces were daily sending 1,000 planes to bomb Germany. They destroyed vast sectors of cities, but up until thirty days before the end of World War II in Europe, the German army was still fighting against its enemies.

2. There is still criticism by many Jewish groups about the issue of bombing train tracks leading to death camps. At no time, until two months before the fighting ended in Europe did the German army fail to repair bombed train tracks within four days.

3. We bombed and bombed in Vietnam, and it was the bombers who finally left Vietnam.

We can bomb Kobani. However, unless either one of the following happens, it can not win the war: (1) troops on the ground arrive from coalition forces, (2) the Kurdish army is provided modern weapons and logistical support to take on ISIS. Do either one of these actions and ISIS will be destroyed. Bomb away all you want, it will not end ISIS!

Go On Attack, Never Stop!

The rise of Social Media has created a new phenomenon in our society. Yes, there have always been demagogues who attack leaders of groups, but their power was restricted to newspapers or magazines or books, hardly the source of a huge number of people. However, today, any ordinary person can transform self into a “hero” who is protecting American society agains this or that evil. On a minor level, one can make social media comments about a person you do not like. They respond, and soon others join in the conflict which in the past only included the people engaged in a conflict. Suddenly, hundreds, if not thousands, are commenting an vying to come across as significant participants in the debate. The Ebola story is simply another manifestation of how a problem has escalated into a national issue. Once again, as with climate change, those with knowledge, are cast aside because some jerk in North Dakota insists she really understands the spread of disease. Social Media has created the instant expert on any issue in life.

This process also can transform anyone into a victim. I decide to write something about Matt Damon. I simply make up an outrageous story about this actor, people respond, and I know for sure that hundreds will pick up my story as true and build on it. Within a few days, poor Matt is on the defense while his supporters now regard their hero as a victim of evil. This process goes on at the local level of young people in a school as well as public figures. Just say whatever comes into your mind, and within days you will have obtained a following of true believers.

Welcome to the world of social medcia!