Category Archives: Satire

Why Islamophobia?

I am now 84 years old and during my existence on this planet have been compelled to endure fear of many forms of evil. As a child I had nightmares of Christian Nazis who would come to America and murder this little Jewish boy. Then came the Russian Communists who soon were followed by the North Korean and Chinese Communists. In all honesty, I never feared any Muslims, after all they had not murdered six million Jews as had European Nazis. So, today, I am told to fear Muslims since they are out to murder and kill. Actually, if one added up all the humans killed by Muslims since 2001 that total would be less than the number of people killed in one week by Russian or Chinese Communists.

So, why this wild fear of Muslims?

1. Muslim youth in Europe are trapped in poor paying jobs that offer no dream of a good life.

2. Too many Muslims are living in ghettoes where they live in slums and lack contact with non-Muslims.

3. Muslims wind up doing the dirty jobs of European societies.

4. Muslims are not attending integrated schools. Then again, European schools have done a terrible job of aiding Muslim students succeed.

5. Muslim imams have failed to teach the meaning of their religion. They have allowed imams of hate to take over the religious education of youth.

6. Throw in social media which makes hate easier to spread.

7. And, definitely add the name of George Bush, Don Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney to the list of those who help create terror groups. P

Put these factors together and one winds up with hate, violence and fear.

The Cockroach On The Plate

I have spent my life working in the cause of human rights since my time in the US Army when I assisted in integrating the US Seventh Army in Germany. But, ever once and a while I encounter a story about “human rights” that blows my mind. This story appeared on Martin Luther King day, and I am certain if he was still alive this fighter for human rights would have grabbed the first plane to South Africa and stood shoulder to shoulder with two women who were willing to risk their very lives in order to further the cause of and end to bigotry in their land. Lesedi Mouche and a friend were sitting in a restaurant in Rosebank, South Africa when they noticed a cockroach on their luncheon plate.

Let me get this straight:

1.Two black women were in a restaurant.

2. The restaurant was owned by black people.

3. A cockroach appeared on the scene.

4. The two women are taking this case to the South African Human Rights Commission.

Ah, for the days when King confronted bullies and bigots, if only he had to confront cockroaches in his fight for equal rights. Then again, what about the rights of cockroaches!!

Banish Winter TV Blues

The onset of winter leads to a sense of the blues in those areas of the nation in which people must endure winter weather and snow. We offer some tips on how society can end the blues for those who must endure this form of despair:

1. No more TV shows in which Mike Huckabee declaims about the evil un-American folks who live on the west or east shows. Last night on Jon Stewart he insisted those on the coasts are not really true Americans. Sorry Mike, but a few million men from the east and west coasts risked their lives in World War II, the Korean War, and the war in Vietnam. Exactly what did the chubby minister of God ever do to help save America?

2. An end to Beyonce and her demanding body. Frankly, she turns me off with her pseudo sense of power.

3. I would be so happy watching a TV show in which Rupert Murdoch explains why he created Fox News for we Americans. Or, he can head home to Australia and pester those people.

4. Allow me to watch a football game on TV without having to hear those inane comments from the blond haired woman on the sidelines who thinks she knows something about a game she never played.

5. I would so love to go to the movies and watch a film in which there was an issue other than than walking zombies and ghouls.

Oh well, at least the snow is pleasant to look at.

HEADLINES FROM WORLD PRESS

We offer samples of headlines from the world press along with our comments.

France, Connexion: “New Donation Problem”

The 1% can only donate one percent of their wealth.

China, China Daily: “Arrest Man For Selling Unclean Pork”

You can’t blame this one on the Jews.

Turkey, Hurriyet: “Agatha Christie In Istanbul”

She was there but she didn’t commit the crime!

Sweden, Local: “Children’s Genital Story Goes Viral”

I will just piss on this story.

Japan, Japan Times: “Creatures From The Unknown”

A great description of the new American Congress.

Karl Marx Was Right!

The demise of the Soviet Union led most people to conclude the ideas of Karl Marx were wrong for the world. A brutal dictatorship which murdered millions of innocent people and stifled any ability of people to inhabit a world of ideas resulted in few accepting the precepts of Karl Marx. First of all, Marx never urged establishment of a leadership that killed members of the working class nor did he urge gulags and death camps for poor people. The society created by Joseph Stalin was NEVER the dream of Karl Marx. Unfortunately, the ideas of Marx were never followed by those who claimed to be his intellectual children. Let’s examine the record of what Karl Marx actually DID say:

1. He forecast that wealthy capitalists would dominate the economic life of society. FACT: The latest count is that 1% of the wealthiest humans have more wealth than the other 99%.

2. He predicted the gradual economic decline of the middle class. This is exactly what is happening in capitalist societies whether they be the United States of America or Greece.

3. He predicted that workers would feel alienated from their daily work. They would cease having pride in what they do. Just ask those working in fast food places or those in a part time job.

4. He predicted that religion would be an opiate that blinds people from reality. Check your daily newspaper or web site for confirmation of what he said.

5. He predicted that wealthy people would control government. Anyone who disagrees?

Karl Marx urged a society in which there was distribution of wealth based upon the principle of “from each according to his ability.” Sounds good to me!

Republicans Are Just Republicans

Well, the RepublicanParty is back on top and in charge of our legislature. It has been a few years since this group of outstanding political leaders are in a position that enables them to take responsibility for what happens in the United States of America. I am able to accurately predict the future of what will occur this year:

1. President Obama will ask Congress to fund the cost of community college education.

2. The Republican party will deny this request on grounds that when they were going to college no one paid the cost of their tuition.

3. We can expect Ted Cruz to filibuster against what Ted Cruz voted for the day before.

4. President Obama will urge some sort of tax increase which will lead Democrats on Wall Street to complain that Adolf Hitler is back in power and seeking to murder all Jews.

5. John Boehner will have a heart attack on the floor of the House of Representatives after engaging in a conversation with Tea Party members. He just cannot handle being called a “Communist.”

6. Mitch McConnell will smile which will cause the members of the Senate to fall asleep.

7. The US Congress will set a record for the most laws passed that were denied due to a veto.

8. Oh, Michelle Obama will urge Congressmen to change their diets and eat more salads.

Ukraine Just Wants Peace

In a recent interview with Der Spiegel, Arsenly Yatsenyuk, head of Ukraine discussed his nations conflict with Vladimir Putin. As he pointed out, “the European Union is always playing by the rules.(but) Putin plays with the rules.” Unfortunately, Ukraine is so close to Russia and so far from God or Western Europe. Make a long spit from Ukraine and you have hit the land of Russia. The Ukraine leader is a realist. “A military solution would not be the best solution to deter Russia from further aggression.” Ukraine’s reality is that Vladimir Putin has one thought in mind. “His survival depends on land grabs of foreign territories. He need new annexations.” For some reason, the people of Russia are anxious for more land grabs because it restores their pride in being a “great nation.”

Ukraine is going to build a 1,243 mile wall on the border of Russia. Sorry, this is not a good idea. The solution lies with being firm, developing the economy of his nation, getting people back to work. Those regions which of his land which so love Mother Russia will sing a new tune if people in Ukraine are living in a modern economy. “The European Union remains our dream.” So, work for that dream and don’t waste money on walls.

McConnell Takes A Stand!

Senator Mitch McConnell told the world that he is digging in his feet, and standing up for justice, prosperity and the American people. So, what exactly does the new majority leader of the United States Senate intend to do for the American people? “We need to do everything we can to rein in the regulatory onslaught which is the principle reason that we haven’t had the kind of bounce back after the 2008 recession.” Oh, during the past year over two million new jobs were created by the dude from Africa. Oh, our economy is moving ahead, but the real problem according to the wizard from Kentucky is that President Barack Obama insists that our nation address issue of pollution that will impact the future. So, what then is the agenda of Mitch and his Republican buddies?

1. He intends to fight to the death for more oil. Thus he supports construction of the Keystone pipe line from Canada that will add to our existing supply of oil.

2. “People are tired of inaction. They want to act and put a lot of people back to work.”

Has anyone informed this idiot that gas prices are heading for $2 a gallon? Has anyone informed the Republican party that the world is awash in oil? Oh, I forgot, constructing this pipeline might provide a few thousand temporary jobs. Just what America needs-more temporary jobs?

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 24 year old mind trapped in an 84 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

I enjoy the feel of pages in a book.

In modern America if someone gets a cold, blame it on Obama.

Hysteria is the handmaiden of ignorance.

Americans explain while using hands.

Some wear badge of stupidity with pride.

One can not wave away a problem.

Many modern Jews have forgotten how injustice was normal in the lives of their ancestors.

boss After making a point, people take a sip of coffee

Bosse enjoys nodding heads.

Drone Always Gets Its Target

For some reason, a cop who is standing about ten feet from some man without a gun can not fire his weapon and hit a leg or arm, he has to blast away at the heart. So, it is good news that a drone up in the sky can not only spot a person in a house and deliver a blast that tears apart the house without damaging the silverware or even slightly wounding another person. According to our experts, there are few times when a drone hits an innocent person. Over the weekend in Pakistan an American drone fired away and killed 31 militants. NO, it did not kill “some,” it killed exactly 31 militants. If you doubt this accuracy, just ask the drone. You see, the drone can see all very clearly, and just by gazing at a face it knows which of these Muslim dudes is the extremist one who has a date with death today. So, who am I to doubt that exactly 31 “militants” died in this raid.

I assume when these “accurate” attacks take place there is no innocent person sleeping in the corner of the room. Nor, when the bomb blasts the room, it does not disturb the baby sleeping in a crib just a room away. Every independent study of drone attacks has uncovered evidence that HUNDREDS of innocent people have been killed by drone attacks. Perhaps, if drones are so accurate they can be placed in charge of training police how to hit an arm or leg rather than a heart?