Category Archives: Satire

Bomb Defused In Europe

There is new hope in Europe the potentiality of violence on the continent might be avoided by resorting to common sense and cooperation. The Organization for Co-operation in Europe(OSCE) persuaded representatives from the United States, Russia and the European Union, to stand down from shouting and threatening one another in order to avoid a stupid action. After all, it was a hundred years ago in June, 1914 when European nations began the process of shouting and screaming and threatening until the guns of August initiated a war that tore apart Europe and resulted in the deaths of forty million –all because A prince was murdered. Russian Foreign Minister Lavrov calmed down and worked with fellow Europeans and the Americans in order to defuse a potential scene of violence and preventing another catastrophe in Europe.

Under terms of the agreement, the OSCE will supervise disarmament of illegal groups in the Ukraine, amnesty will be granted for crimes-other than murder, and the Ukraine government will begin a process that results in devolution of Constitutional powers to provinces in the Ukraine. The United States also agreed to reduce sanctions on Russia and, hopefully, get people to begin behaving like intelligent humans.

Hopefully, no Guns of August in 2014!

America In 2014 In The World

The President gave his State of the Union address three months ago, but what would it sound like if presented in April? Thomas de Maziere is a member of the German government which deals with issues of national security. He was recently interviewed by Der Spiegel concerning his attitudes towards the United States of America. Like most people in the world, the issue of American surveillance of their lives ranks high on the list of “what I do not like about the American government.” Ten years ago the invasion of Iraq would have secured the top spot on why to despise the American government. He commented that when it came to surveillance, “they are being implemented in a excessive boundless fashion.” He went on to note that “approval ratings for Americans in Germany are lower right now than they have been in some time.”

We all recall how Barack Obama was going to ensure people in the world the era of senseless invasions was at an end. He promised to restore American prestige, but his main thrust is to make George Bush come across as a fighter for freedom! What ever happened to the man who promised so much for so many??

Protecting Voter Rights

There is scant doubt the most important issue in America for those of the Republican party is–fraud in voting. I realize some might regard jobs or unemployment or health care or our disintegrating infrastructure as things to worry about, but to the Republican party THE paramount issue in America is: VOTER FRAUD. Latest figures prove that of the 120,000,000 people who voted in the last presidential election at least 100 illegal votes were cast! Imagine, over 100 people lied about their right to vote. Can you imagine how many elections were changed by those 100 people? Anyway, the Republican party wants to ensure that no one who lacks voter ID can or should vote. Oh, many senior citizens no longer have or need ID, but, what the heck. If a single person who is not qualified to vote does vote, that is the end of American democracy.

VOTER ID SOLUTION: Each person who receives a Social Security card will be able to have their face placed on the card. Since just about everyone has a Social Security card, this ensures poor or middle class or the wealthy will have a voter ID. End of problem.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 23 year old mind trapped in an 83 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

The enemy within is the most dangerous enemy.

A trip through life is one in which there are valleys and hills.

Humans constantly clean dirt in order to obtain new dirt.

People starve and Republicans worry about birth control.

I so enjoy the act of stretching a leg.

Moment of shock seeing thin person working in fast food place.

We shiver at cold, but not when our heart acts with coldness.

I wonder why gold became so precious to humans.

End of family stores ended sense of local community.

There is one rendezvous never to make–with Death.

Do not be the captain of your fate, be the General.

Calendar is half price by January 15.

I wonder how most Americans would survive without the Dollar Store.

To be unemployed in 2014 is to live in fear.

Quandry: does mom or daughter take lead into Restroom.

To describe life is to explain life.

All too often we seek the hardest the thing needed the least.

To be lost in thought is not a Republican weakness.

Fewer ceremonies these days for the transition from childhood to adulthood.

Some place hands on thigh while walking.

I am only able to nudge what is my fate.

Who Me??

I confess to never having worked for Rupert Murdoch or any of his wonderful media outlets like Fox News or News of The World in England. Therefore, I have to plead ignorance as to what those with executive positions in the Murdoch empire actually are taught about the laws of most modern nations. Andy Coulson, former editor of the English News of The World is on trial for the crime of allowing his reporters to hack into phones. I do understand the act of hacking into phones is relatively rare in the modern world and, thus not well known to those in authority. Heck, just check with President Obama who, apparently, has no idea if anyone in his government hacks into mail or phones or whatever. So, why should anyone question the honesty of Mr. Coulson when told that hacking into phones was a CRIME! Oh, my God, imagine that hacking into a phone is not legal!

Coulson told the court that as far as knowing about phone hacking, “I was aware of phone hacking in very vague terms in 2002. It was gossiped about.” Ok, so this innocent man added, “That is was a breach of privacy, and I would have thought it was lazy reporting.”

So, how could any court find this man guilty. Rupert Murdoch never told him that phone hacking was a crime. He did not know his reporters were phone hacking. His wife did not know phone hacking was a crime, and his children certainly did not know that. So, how could he be blamed for something that he did not know about!!

Billionaire Doing Jail Time!

This story will probably shock most Americans, but in the nation of Italy a judge has finally decided that those with wealth must pay some sort of penalty for their misuse of money. Here in the United States only ONE man was ever sent to jail for manipulating money-Bernie Madoff– while the hundreds of stock brokers and financial wizards who, literally robbed millions of Americans, have never seen the inside of a jail. And, to add to the injury, most have never even endured a court action. Most just have THEIR COMPANY, not them, pay a fine and then proceed to go their merry way robbing and stealing from the poor in order to give to the rich.

An Italian court has sentenced former Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi who was found guilty of tax fraud to a severe penalty. OK, so he does not actually go to jail. Ok, so he is not exactly a prisoner. BUT, the judge made clear to Silvio that “once a week, and for a period of no less than four hours” he is to work in a home for the elderly doing something. Perhaps:

1. He might teach them how to cheat on their taxes.

2. He might teach them how to cheat in Bingo.

Or, if there is an attractive nurse around, he might teach her the joys of sex.

Warning To Salon Owners

As a public service this blog would like to offer the owner of a hair salon in London some advice on how to conduct, not only their business, but their lives. For some reason these folks decided that our Glorious Leader, Kim Jong-un had a hair style that was no pictruert what most people in England would wear. They decided to feature a picture of our Glorious Leader in order to peddle discount hair cuts for unsuspecting people. At no place in their ad did I see any words of warning to unsuspecting people who took advantage of this discount. They certainly should be informed that to take advantage of the picture of our Glorious Leader could result in a long term sentence–without time out for hair cuts–in a far away place in northern, northern North Korea!

We advise owners of the Salon that under no condition are they ever to take a trip to Asia. In fact, how about a sign over the door: We Only Serve South Koreans!

Then again, who knows, Kim Jong-un loves basketball, maybe he might enjoy a modern hair cut style!

Confronting Russia In Ukraine

Russian troops ARE in the Ukraine, and they are seizing buildings in an effort to provoke military reaction on the part of the government. If the Ukraine government fires away and one of these Russian militants are killed, President Putin will be on TV to announce a RESCUE MISSION designed to prevent further deaths and preserve Russian territory from the Ukraine Neo Nazi forces which threaten to invade Mother Russia. The world is witnessing a Kabuki Dance in which Russia is on stage and attempting to persuade Ukrainian forces to go on the offense. So, the best policy is not to be aggressive, but allow patience to guide decision making. What can be done:

1. Allow unarmed UN forces to enter the country and challenge the Russians to behave in a violent manner.

2. Surround buildings and wait out the siege.

3. Announce a European embargo for any and all transactions with Russia. The embargo would automatically end with peace in the Ukraine.

Adventurous Parents Should Reflect

Last week there was a story about a father and mother who decided to sail around the world with two tiny children. I guess a tike might find it interesting to battle waves and be tossed around, but when a child comes down with a disease, I have a hunch the warm comfort of a doctor might be more welcome then the sight of fish swimming in the ocean. Yesterday, another story of a nut case parent. Jason Knight took his eight and ten year old sons on a hike into the mountains and got a bit lost. He went down the wrong canyon, then decided to find help, got trapped and the two boys survived on a candy bar and water. Wow, what a wonderful vacation in the wilds of the west. Perhaps, I am somewhat old fashioned, but wouldn’t it be sort of wise if one is taking kids into the wilderness to establish a method of communication with family members in order to have a back up system in operation?

Fortunately, mom remained home and she alerted authorities and a helicopter rescued the boys. For some reason they rescued dad. Why not have him hike his way out? After all, he wanted to play at being a western guide wandering the hills of our country!

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 23 year old mind trapped in an 83 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

For modern youth, the past slips through their minds.

We all too often become proponents for what will hurt our lives.

In any group, there is a “take charge” person.

Fewer parades these days.

Left alone, children play comfortably without adults.

Out of nowhere, a bloody nose.

I wonder which diseases were common to cro-magnons.

Our minds follow individual paths.

Some keep eye on the ground, some on the sky.

Some truths are fixed, some exist for the moment.

Hatred should be a momentary feeling.

Only humans engage in violence to end violence.

A king reigns, a president governs.

I always dreaded the last day of a vacation.

Words I dread, “rest in peace.”

We are blown by the winds of time.

2014 Americans are fascinated by stupidity.