There is one wonderful aspect to being dictator of Russia, when you make claims there are no voices in parliament, nor in any media outlets still around that might contradict what you say. During the past year, there have been several stories about how Russian athletes were given dopes that enabled them to win many victories.Putin is furious at these claims, calling them “discrimination”and assuring Russians that we are “not going to put up with it.”
In fairness to our beloved leader, our noble father, let me explain what he is describing. There is overwhelming evidence that black American athletes were born in Africa, not America. Since there are few major highways in Africa, these men–and women–ran for miles each day in order to get from point A to point B. That is why they are so fast.
There is proof that American athletes have been drinking specially made “coffee”at Starbucks. Actually, this “coffee” is really a special mix of marijuana and other drugs which enhance the muscle strength of athletes.
Since America had slavery this gives America a special advantage in athletics. It has been proven that black slaves are more muscle bound than white folks. Since they are more primitive, these blacks have greater speed that is needed to escape tigers and panthers.