Category Archives: Canada

Another Day, Another Ford Accident

It was just another day in the city of Vancouver, another day in which tourists filled the streets, but suddenly the entire city underwent a dramatic change when a rather portly man who was sort of stumbling across a street was accosted by a policeman who informed him that it was against the law to jaywalk. The member of the constabulary did not realize until he obtained the name of this pedestrian that it was the most famous man in Çanada–MAYOR ROB FORD of Toronto who was in town for a funeral.

According to Rob Ford: “I said I can’t believe this. They went out of their way to do this. I said that I support you guys. Did you arrest me because I am a Bronco fan?” Why police in Vancouver are out to get Bronco fans is beyond me other than British Columbia borders the state of Washington. Anyway, not a nice week for Rob, lost budget vote, and sister’s husband sued him.

Anyway, Rob insists he only had a Diet Coke in the pub!

FRIDAY QUESTION: What Are Rights Of Transgender?

A middle age woman in a Toronto gym recently encountered an interesting situation when a man who claimed to be going through the process of becoming transgender wandered into the female locker room at the gym. According to the woman, she encountered the following situation: “A man claiming to be transgender was in the female locker room The person they allowed in was not courteous and stared at me while I struggled to get out of a wet bathing suit. Hew as naked and had an erection. Does that mean that men not yet committed to gender reassignment are free to disrobe anywhere they choose?” Ah, modern life with modern questions unknown to our ancestors. Our response to this question

1. If you still got the prick then you stick with the other pricks.

2. An erection of the penis proves that you are still sort of a man.

3. If you still get an erection, does that send a message to you?

4. Do we need a new dressing room for the undecided?

5. Quit staring at women!

Rob Ford Again!

Rob Ford has registered to run once again for the position of mayor of the great city of Toronto in the great nation of Canada. Based on reports from those at the scene, Rob was sort of sober, which is either a positive or negative event for the people of Toronto. As a fervent supporter of the man with the golden tongue it is necessary for me to inform the public why they should back up this rather hefty man– but do not get too close if he falls backward and sends you to a hospital. Let’s examine his record:

He has respect for taxpayers.
He will end the gravy train.
He has saved at least a billion dollars for the people of Toronto.
He is, in his own words, the “best mayor” of Toronto in history.
And, above all, “my track record speaks for himself.”

How many men can make these statements without having had a drink that morning? Put it this way, how can any sober politician match this record of achievement? We need a drunk in charge of society, not the sober idiots of the Tea Party. Drink up, and get off the floor, Mr. Ford, we are behind you– a rather long distance, in all honesty.

Ladies Of The Night Need Protection

I recall as a twenty one year old soldier on his first night in Paris back in the days when prostitutes legally walked the streets of the gay old town without fear of being arrested. Prostitution was a legal occupation, many women from small towns in France went to Paris, worked the streets for several years, saved money and returned home to purchase a small business. In those days, prostitutes had to undergo medical inspection to prevent diseases. Today, prostitutes are forced to work for mafia style organizations and are brutalized as long as they can function with their bodies selling sex. Beverley Mclachlin, Chief Justice of Canada, issued a ruling that made prostitution in Canada a legal occupation. All nine judges on the court agreed with her decision.

She put it clear to all that for many women they have no meaningful choice “other than the risky economic activity of prostitution.” It is a job. Our society does not term it to be “prostitution” when members of Congress sell their vote, not their bodies, to corporations in exchange for money. That is simply getting a buck for a vote. I suspect those votes damage our society more than any sex act between a woman and a man.

Rob Stands Tall For Justice

It is Saturday and Rob Ford again is dominating the news. Oh, some black dude from South Africa died and the world is in mourning, but Rob is never in mourning because he is Rob. The media is reporting that Mayor Ford offered some gangsters $5,000 and a car in exchange for a video that depicts him in a happy state of drugs. According to the rotund gentleman from Toronto, “that’s an outright lie and number two, you can talk to m y l lawyers about it.” According to this mysterious video, a strange man is asking the mayor for “150” for the video which apparently refers to “$150,000″ in real money. Please remember this is Saturday and we simply accept the reality that Rob never allows a weekend to go by without some enjoyable story of weird behavior to occur Oh, there are other videos in which our man of the hour is depicted using heroin or some other intoxicant of the moment.

From my perspective as a child of the Bronx where gangsters filled our streets and lives, having a mayor who associates with criminals is more acceptable than one who associates with Wall Street thugs, you know, the guys who rob us blind and control governments which do as they say. Give me a man like Rob Ford who stands for open criminal activity. At least the average person is not being robbed blind. And, when I say, “robbed” I refer to our friend of the people, Rob Ford!

On Rob And Barack

It is rare in the great land of Canada for a day to go by without some comment about the antics and behavior of Rob Ford. It has reached the point in which members of the Toronto City Council swing their chairs around when the rotund man rises to speak. It is increasingly rare in the United States of America in which President Obama does not anger his former supporters. His decision to sign a pact with the corrupt government of President Karzai that keeps US troops in the nation of Afghanistan until a point in time when I, along with millions of Americans, will be dead has not made Barack the poster boy of joy and leadership. His decision was based on the assumption that if Americans completely left, the Afghan government would collapse is not supported by any evidence. The current Afghan government will not be able to maintain law and order until IT makes changes such as appointing honest, competent men to positions of authority. Rob Ford will not be able to maintain confidence among fellow members of the Toronto city government until he enters some version of therapy and drug counseling.

In a sense, both men suffer from the addiction of power. The desire for power transforms people into addicts. Barack Obama regards himself as a man who can control the allure of power. Successful American presidents surround themselves with several people who can utter words of caution without fearing retaliation from the president. Franklin Roosevelt always surrounded himself with individuals who would challenge. Ditto John Kennedy. For Obama, it is a sin to disagree, and he particularly avoids those who offer contradictory advice. Key economists like Paul Krugman were not appointed because their advice to focus on jobs clashed with the Wall Street crowd of Geithner and Summers.

Rob Charges Ahead

The appearance on the scene of Mayor Rob Ford must be a welcome event for President Obama, another wild man who has no regard for coming across as competent in governance. Rob was at a City Council meeting at which his peers reduced powers of the mayor when suddenly he gazed across the room to see his brother, Councilor Doug Ford engaged in a conflict with a spectator. Rob charged toward the scene of action knocking over Councilor Pam McConnell in the process. According to Rob, “I’m in the gym for two hours everyday” and in great shape for a rather ample girthed man. After learning his budget was cut 60% and some of his employees allowed to go work for others, Rob wanted one and all to know: “I don’t smoke crack and I’m not a crack addict.”

My question is: If you are not on crack and you do not drink alcoholic beverages where then do you get this energy to jump over chairs and rescue damsels in distress– from your dumping them on the floor?

Rob Seeks Toyota In Future

A war is raging on the North American continent in which forces of evil seek to destroy the life and health of a brave sort of chubby guy from the free nation of Canada. Mayor Rob Ford has been fighting for the rights of every drunk person who claims the right to drink and fornicate as God meant people to drink and fornicate. If God did not mean us to be drunken bums then why did he allow us to become them? The Toronto City Council in a tight 39-3 vote suspended the right of Mayor Ford to appoint or dismiss the deputy mayor and his executive committee which handles the budget process. It also empowered the deputy mayor to handle civic emergencies. I wonder if the current behavior of Rob Ford falls under the heading of a “civic emergency.” Frankly, I am a bit confused about this entire matter. OK, so he takes a few drinks. OK, so he shacks up with a woman. So what? How many people on the Toronto City Council have taken a snort of hard liquor and they certainly don’t want us to check out their love lives.

Rob summed up the entire matter in that special way he has of stating the truth. “If i would have had a mayor conducting himself the way I have, I would have done the same thing.” Thanks Rob for being an honest man.Perhaps, you could convince members of the American Republican party to behave in your manner of life. It would be a refreshing break from their idiocy.

Does Toronto Have Ford In Its Future?

It is so refreshing to finally discuss an important issue confronting people of the world. Totonto Mayor Rob Ford made clear to his city council that the city will remain being behind the Fords in their lives. “I’m most definitely keeping this job”and pointed out that he was ” a positive role model for kids.” OK, so he purchased illegal drugs. OK, so he sort of gets a bit under the weather during the day and needs the support of a bottle of liquor. OK, so he sort of gets what some term a “drunker stupor,” but that is simply an issue of how one terms drinking, and it is a subjective expression. OK, so some claim he is an addict, but doesn’t every person have some sort of addiction? Why pick on those who drink? Why not demand that obese individuals resign from public office?

“I am not leaving her” said the hero, Ford, “I’m going to sit here and going to attend every meeting.” All but two of the 43 councillors demanded that he resign. Ford’s response was fascinating. He demanded that each councillor be subjected to “hair drug and alcohol testing.” The perfect solution would be to supply the mayor with a bottle of liquor and some marijuana so he could get a good night’s sleep. Has Bobby Ford considered moving to Texas and running for governor? Texas could use a political leader who dealt with important issues rather than sitting up all night figuring ways to deny people the right to vote>

I Smoke Crack-Do You?

Every so often one encounters a politician who is rather enjoyable because he does not take himself too seriously. During the 1930s in New York City we had the ever exuberant Maryor Fiorello LaGuardia. When newspapers went on strike he read the comics for kids. If there was a fire, he was the first on the scene. If a girl wrote him that her dad was a drunk, he sent a cop to walk the man home with his pay. Toronto has Mayor Rob Ford, a man of the people. He admitted that he smoked pot and that quite frequently he was dead drunk. He did not apologize, but simply said: “the past is the past,” and he intended to proceed with his life. No promise to cease drinking or using pot. Ford, essentially told the people of Toronto: “I am a drunk, I smoke pot.” Take me as I am since I am not going to be anyone else.

An honest politician! Drink on and on, smoke on and on. Ah, a moment on honesty in a world of corruption. Can we join you, Mr. Mayor?