Category Archives: Italy

The Good Captain Begs Apologies

The ongoing saga of Captain Francesco Schettino continues making even murkier exactly what happened on the cruise ship.  Everyone, including the good captain, agrees the ship hit reefs near an island and this led to the ship listing to starboard, or whatever. Police arrested the gallant captain who, by accident, fell into a lifeboat. New information indicates that after Schettino banged into the rocks, he actually did some remarkable navigating to ensure the boat came close to the shore.

Cruise line executives insist our brave captain never told them the real story as to what happened nor did he inform coastal authorities that his ship had capsized. I assume the accidental plunge into a lifeboat may have impaired his grasp as to what was going on. The major question remaining about this story is who will play Captain Schettino in the film?

A Salute For Captain Schettino!!

There are many unsung heroes in life and certainly future generations will hail the work of Captain Francesco Schettino who risked his own life when the cruise ship he captained ran into a reef. Some complain he failed to remain on the ship and aid evacuation efforts. Francesco is angry at these comments. “I didn’t even have a jacket on because I had given it to one of the passengers.” OK, some want to know why he was in the lifeboat headed to shore while passengers were being placed in lifeboats, the answer is another example of his heroism. “I tripped and I found myself in the lifeboat.”

Look at it this way. By getting in the lifeboat that meant one fewer people to evacuate. Thus his effort to be in the lifeboat can be considered an act of heroism. OK, so he sailed this huge cruise ship close to shores of the island. Francesco was trying to salute the work of a fellow gallant cruise ship captain and was speaking to him while the ship hit a reef. So, what is so wrong about showing consideration for a fellow  ship captain?

We need more men like this brave captain. By grounding his ship it created dozens of new jobs for those involved in salvaging ships!

Sail Away To Disaster

The saga of the Costa Concordia cruise ship undoubtedly will become a disaster movie. We recommend that Captain Francesco Schettino as the star of this flick because it is doubtful any real actor can act as silly as this man who masquerades as a sea captain. He sailed close to an island in order to make a salute to those on shore. He wanted to show off his ship and wound up showing off his stupidity. To make matters worse, the captain certainly did not go down with the ship. In fact he hurried ashore while passengers still fled for their lives. When asked by police to return and help, the man of the hour decided it best to head to a cafe or home for some rest.

The real questions emerging from this fiasco is whether there are ANY regulations for how a cruise ship sails and ANY supervision of those responsible for sailing ships. To make matters worse, there is now an environmental disaster in the making. People are dead and the good captain is dead wrong in his behavior.

What was that about “women and children first?”

Italia Forever All White!

There is a growing sense among many Europeans that “foreigners” are entering their  fair land and causing changes that threaten the existence of “white Europe.” Gianluca Casseri was born in a small Italian village, came to the big city and met men and women who spoke of the loss of fair Italy to dark skinned people. A few days ago, he double parked his Volkswagen in a Florence street, walked over to some street vendors attempting to sell hand-bags, took out his Smith & Wesson revolver, and shot dead two men from  Senegal–Samb Modfou and Dip Mor. Casseri was soon arrested, but he has now grown into a symbol of heroism, personified.

A support group on Facebook, “Gianluca Died For Us” has attracted over 6,000 people. For right wing extremists he has become the man of the hour. A man willing to shoot down defenseless enemies is now a man who stands tall for European civilization. A new group, Casa Pound, named after the American fascist poet, Ezra Pound, who regarded Benito Mussolini as the then hero of European civilization, is extolling Casseri.

Europeans  seventy years ago obtained an experience in  Fascism and Nazism that apparently has not yet been learned by young Italians. Kill two innocent humans can lead to killing forty million innocent ones.

 

Faster Than Even Superman!!

Albert Einstein proved the speed of light could not be surpassed and that was accepted as the final word. That is, until last month. Experiments in European facilities offered evidence that sub atomic particles known as Neutrinos could exceed the speed of light. In an experiment an Italian scientist proved that over a 454 mile distance it took light 2.4 milliseconds to reach the end while a neutrino covered the course in 60 billionth of a second faster. Is it possible that Einstein could be wrong? We posed this question to a panel of Republican candidates for president.

Michele Bachmann:  Who exactly is this Einstein person, he sounds like a terrorist to me.

Herman Cain:  As far as I am concerned, 9-9-9 covers everything including this science stuff.

Rick Perry:  Well, there are three things I want to say about this…. neutrino, light, and…… what was that third thing?

Mitt Romney:  I am disturbed this neutrino experiment was run by some Italian. Just  another example of the failed neutrino policies of Barack Obama.

Newt Gingrich:  If you allow, I will review the history of neutrinos since I am an historian.

Rick Santorum:  I just want to emphasize that I am against abortions, and that includes aborting neutrino babies.

Silvio Slides Sideways From Power

Ah, Silvio, we knew ye well. My buddy Silvio was the best politician in the world as far as assisting cartoonists or those writing satire to engage in their tasks. Imagine Italy without their great leader, imagine stories that will not be written about underage females, parties by the pool side in which baring one’s breast meant literally taking off the bra. Silvio has finally existed the halls of power in Italy, and we suspect along with his departure will be a drop in circulation for papers which engage in highlighting the lives of those in power.

But, Silvio left a message to one and all. “To those who celebrated what has been described as my exit from the scene, I say  that from tomorrow I shall be redoubling my efforts to reform tax, justice and the institutions of Italy.”

I believe this means he will be redoubling efforts to assist young females to earn their living.

Silvio Slides Through

Alas, poor Silvio, we knew you well a long time ago. You were the richest man in Italy, the man with power, the man who made others tremble with fright at what you could do if angered. Alas, poor Silvio,  a record of sex escapades, lying, and misusing money has resulted in an indifference to your wealth and power. The Italian Parliament voted on Berlusconi’s proposed public accounts and while 308 voted for, 321 simply abstained.

In other words, a majority in Parliament lacks any confidence in their prime minister. One suspects those in Italy who have confidcence in this man are women seeking financial renumeration for their  services. Alas, poor Silvio, we knew you once, and now we know you not!

New Italian Idol Winner

Manuela Arcuri is being hailed as winner of the Italian Idol performance. The attractive 34 year old woman was  contacted by Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi with a proposal that he hoped would lead her to his bed. She was offered money and an opportunity to head a music festival, but Ms. Arcuri declined to sleep with the man who ordinarily receives a “yes” response to offers of the opportunity to have sex with him.

One blogger noted: “to know that she didn’t give herself to that dwarf is priceless. Another blogger put it this way: “it’s proof that in Italy there are still women with a sense of decency.” I guess this means Silvio is not Prince Charming–at least to one Italian woman!

Silvio Just Loves Young Women!

Just when talk about the sexual adventures of Silvio Berlusconi had died down, my day as a writer of blogs was saved when Gianpaolo Trantini told the media he had worked for the prime minister as the man who secured prime female candidates for parties and you-know-what. He was informed by Silvio to seek out “young, slender framed and gorgeous women” who were interested in attending parties thrown by the leader of Italy.

One must admit that Silvio Berlusconi is among the few political leaders of our time who is focused on expanding wealth in his country. These girls make money, they make monied men happy and willing to spend and spend which leads to an expansion of the economy and they bring a smile to the face of Silvio, our beloved leader of the Sex World.

I realize there are malcontents who seek to put down the Leader of Italy who only wants people happy, but let’s face it–without Silvio to write about, exactly what would you write about Italy?

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In Sweden Don’t Hit Child

The people of Sweden have high regard for children and actually believe if you are a child  then adults can not treat your body as a punching bag. Giovanni Colasante was on a trip to Sweden with his family and just about ready to enter a restaurant. His twelve year old boy refused to enter so dad hauled off and began assualting the child. According to one eye witness, “he lifted his son up by the hair.”

Poor Mr. Colasante was forbidden to leave the country until conclusion of the trial. Sweden was the first nation to issue a ban on corporal punishment of children. I guess this means no Swedish mom or dad spanks children. Speaking as the father of four, I have never felt the need to beat up my kids.

I guess Mr. Colasante thought he was back in Italy which allows corporal punishment when with your children.