Category Archives: Russia

Action In Ukraine

I can hear the sound of one shoe hitting the floor which indicates the Ukrainian government has finally decided to confront terrorists who seek to create violence in hope that having a few killed or wounded would open the door for President Vladimir Putin to send in his troops in order to restore law and order, Russian style, that is. Members of the Ukrainian army and special forces drove Russian backed terrorists from an airport and soon will drive them from buildings that have been seized in eastern areas of the country. Naturally, President Putin expressed his outrage at this “anti-constitutional action” by a government to take over a building owned by the government. This from a man who sends to jail on trumped up charges dozens of Russians whose only crime is not licking his boots!

So, what might happen:

Scenario One: Putin will send his troops across the border to “protect Russian citizens who happen to live in the Ukraine”

Scenario Two: Putin will go to the UN demanding action to protect Russian citizens.

Scenario Three: Putin will send in troops but deny he sent them in while insisting they were Russians who voluntarily rode their tanks and helicopters into the Ukraine to protect Russians.

Scenario Three is very likely.

Confronting Russia In Ukraine

Russian troops ARE in the Ukraine, and they are seizing buildings in an effort to provoke military reaction on the part of the government. If the Ukraine government fires away and one of these Russian militants are killed, President Putin will be on TV to announce a RESCUE MISSION designed to prevent further deaths and preserve Russian territory from the Ukraine Neo Nazi forces which threaten to invade Mother Russia. The world is witnessing a Kabuki Dance in which Russia is on stage and attempting to persuade Ukrainian forces to go on the offense. So, the best policy is not to be aggressive, but allow patience to guide decision making. What can be done:

1. Allow unarmed UN forces to enter the country and challenge the Russians to behave in a violent manner.

2. Surround buildings and wait out the siege.

3. Announce a European embargo for any and all transactions with Russia. The embargo would automatically end with peace in the Ukraine.

Secede Is Now A Right

Turkish Foreign Minister Ahmet Davutoglu is very worried that Russian moves to encourage eastern areas of the Ukraine to break away might impact other areas of the region and lead to secession efforts. “We don’t want the Ukraine crisis to start a domino effect around the Black Sea.” He would prefer that any problems within the Ukraine or between Russia and that nation be resolved “within the framework of international law.” He does make a point, but he also disregards the rights of people to break away when they sincerely believe their rights are being taken away. For example:

1. Shouldn’t the people of Texas be allowed to form their own nation and make it mandatory for a shoot out each high noon in each city of the new nation?

2. We who believe in the New York Knickerbockers have not witnessed an NBA championship for forty years. We need to secede, form our own nation, form our own Professional Basketball league which guarantees each team at least one championship each ten years!

3. Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann need to secede and form a new country that guarantees those designated as mentally retarded to become the president. Not only would this guarantee a female president, it would guarantee that Fox News finally has good news to report.

4. The House of Representatives must secede from the Senate and create its own version of the American legislature. Gerrymandering will guarantee Republican control forever, and America will finally be saved from LIBERALS AND SOCIALISTS AND COMMUNISTS WHO SEEK THE MONEY OF JOB CREATORS!

We Love Russia, We Love Putin!

There are many people in Mother Russia and in the country of Ukraine who love their beloved Mother, and, in particular, they simply adore the bare chested Father who rules over everyone with a stern fist and a voice that thunders for action against all enemies. Groups of Ukrainian separatists seized control of buildings in several cities and demanded that Russian troops come to their aid and restore them to their former masters who murdered at least three millions Ukrainians when dad’s name was Joseph Stalin. The Ukrianian government and prime minister denounced this bit of drama as simply an act by Russian agents to destabilize their nation as a pretext for the entry of Russian troops whose noble act would be to prevent the death of separatists who defied the law.

John Kerry contacted Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov only to be informed that Russia is concerned about the safety of Russian citizens in the Ukraine. Of course, the “Russian citizens” are Ukrainians, not Russians. I assume the government of Mexico will dispatch troops to the United States of America in order to protect its citizens!

Putin Threatens And Roars

Vladimir Putin believes that he is sitting on top of the world. His popularity rate is nearly 80%, not a Russian opposition person dares to challenge his authority and people in the world fear that Vladimir will do something stupid. He enjoys possessing the fear of others which to him means that Vladimir calls the shots and he always has the ability to move from calling a shot to actually blasting away. Russian troops are on the border of Ukraine, Russian supporters inside the Ukraine are seizing buildings and urging Russian troops to cross the border and come to their rescue. So, what is his charge against Western foes? Deputy Foreign Minister Anatoly Antonov warned the world that “Russia has taken notice of the plans by certain members of the alliance(NATO) to deploy large military contingents on territories close to our border.”

Of course, this is nonsense, but creating uncertainty, instilling fear is what Vladimir so enjoys. To be feared is his goal, not to be respected or admired. He definitely has achieved that goal. The only remaining question is whether he is foolish enough to send Russian troops across the border into the Ukraine would mark the end of Russia as a prosperous nation. Why? Because, in the end, it is economics, not military that determines the future.

So Long French Fries

The news from the Crimea poses untold problems for the people of Russia who are shouting their joy at the return of the Crimea to beloved Mother Russia. However, a dark cloud has appeared in the skies over the Crimea. McDonald’s has announced that it is closing their three stores located on the Crimea and will no longer serve French Fries to the folk of that region. Never again will a Crimean again here the famous words of, “do you want fries along with your order?” No more horrid McDonald’s coffee in the morning, no more free coffee during the first few weeks of April, alas, the Big Mack has gone to the big guy up in the sky. There are unconfirmed reports some McDonald’s staff have decided they can not endure life without the milkshake and fries and have decided to abandon the land of Crimea for the land of Big Macs located in the state of Ukraine.

Russian nationalist hater, Vladimir Zhirinovsky has declared war, with no mercy offered to any prisoners, with the Army of McDonald’s that remains in Mother Russia. “I want to get them out of my sight. Next, we will deal with Pepsi Cola.”

As of this moment, there are no reports of action to be taken against any American Pizza establishments and Kentucky Fried Chicken has been granted neutral status. FLASH I just received word that Coca Cola is sending in troops to take over any Pepsi Cola site that has been evacuated!

Who Fired The Shots In Kiev?

I write as one with special feelings about events in the Ukraine because my father was born in that city and spent his youth in the Ukraine. Actually, it was a troubled youth because Jews lacked most rights as humans in the old Ukraine. It was a center of anti-Semitism and violence toward Jews. I have always supported the fight for freedom by modern Ukrainians because this is a new generation and one seeking democracy. Arsen Avakov, the current Minister of the Interior of Ukraine charged that representatives from the Russian FSB conferred with members of the government when former President Yanukovych still ran the place. Avakov charges that Russian agents provided weapons and explosives that were used against those protesting. He believes the snipers who killed many came from this group of people linked to the Russian connection.

In Putinland, Russians are always the victims of Western evil forces who insist on forcing upon the people of Russia such horrid ideas as free elections and rights for people to gather together without permission of the police. Thus, for a Russian cop, the only proper procedure when people protest is to respond with a protest featuring guns blasting away.

The Horror Of Syria

Those who were alive during years when the Germans engaged in a murderous process of death and destruction confronted a terror in which the German government had enough intelligence to disguise murder to the outside world. The Japanese government, on the other hand, glorified their murder of the innocent. So, how does one explain the behavior of the government of Syria? Ordinarily, they explain away murder by arguing the other side is killing so it is kosher for we who defend our government to slaughter the innocent. After all, allow a young boy to live and he might wind up in the jihad campaign against my government. The latest United Nations’ figures indicate, at a minimum, there are at least 150,000 dead Syrians since outbreaks against the government began in March, 2011. According to the UN report about 38,000 rebels are dead along with 58,000 government troops.

Of course, there are a minimum of 18,000 people who were arrested and no one knows what happened to them. Rebels have kidnapped and government forces have kidnapped. Both sides murder in the name of God or security or because they had nothing else to do that day. Death proceeds without halt in Syria.

Protest Publicly In Own Home!

United Russia is a political party in the nation of Russia. It understands the role of a political party in Putinland is to carry out the wishes, the desires and needs of our wonderful all knowing glorious leader, Vladimir of the Putin. United Russia deputy, Alexander Sidyakin is very annoyed. There are actually people in Putinland who do not like our beloved leader! So, Alexander has a solution to this problem. He introduced a bill that would heavily fine or send to jail those who repeatedly take to the streets to protest against our Leader. Alexei Navalny, a well known opponent of Putin has his blog blocked and so do others with the weird idea there are alternative ideas to those of Vladimir Putin!

According to Alexander, it would be a serious crime to “damage human life or property” It is quite clear when people are in the streets shouting bad words, it hurts the health of those who believe in Vladimir as the all-Wise one in Russia. So, to ensure health and happiness in Putinland,k please organize your protests in your homes!

Vladimir Gets Divorce

We wish to be among the first to offer our good will and love for our Beloved Leader, Vladimir Putin on the announcement that he is divorcing a wife of 30 years. Her name is Lyudima Putine, which suggests that she is connected with Putin and desires to always be connected to the man whose bare chest barely describes his power and strength to handle any and all confrontations with tigers, elephants or Barack Obama his spear chucking African followers. Last year when Putin and Putine held a TV press conference to announce they would soon be divorcing, some reporters had the nerve to pose a few questions, and within a month or so, their newspapers closed under some unusual circumstances. As I recall, Vladimir told them to “snotty noses out of his life.”

When Vladimir tells you to bug off, get the hell out of town before you wind up in the tower of London awaiting a hanging. I hesitate to pose a question about some gorgeous young athlete has her name linked to the Beloved Leader. Look, if you are a Beloved Leader, it only stands to reason there are many females seeking to carry the name of Putine!