Category Archives: Russia

The Russians Are Coming!

Russian President Vladimir Putin let the world know that he is building a large navy that will challenge any and all other navies in the world. He is sending Russian naval vessels into the Atlantic Ocean, the Pacific Ocean, the Black Sea, the Baltic sea and any other sea that he can get his ships to. “These naval vessels will provide our country with an integral, consistent naval policy that will protect Russia’s national interests.”

Yep, the Russian navy which cannot even remember a single naval victory it has won in over one hundred years is going to frighten the US navy. Jerks, you only have ONE seaport facing the Pacific Ocean, and it could readily be taken out by the Israel navy. The US has TWELVE aircraft carrier groups, each capable of wiping out vast areas of Russia. Sorry, Vladimir, no one is shaking in their boots because you sent some ships into the Atlantic Ocean.

The Russians Were Here First!

After learning that new evidence makes clear the original inhabitants of the Western Hemisphere came from Siberia,I headed for Moscow to discuss this news with the Great Leader,the one and only Vladimir Putin.

M: Well,Great Leader, what do you think about the new evidence which proves once and for all the original inhabitants of the Western Hemisphere came from Siberia?

P: Just further evidence that all parts of the world were originally settled by people from Mother Russia.

M: How will this news effect your country?

P: I am immediately moving in the Security Council for the United States of America to be declared to be part of Mother Russia.

M: Wait a second, you mean that you will become the Great Leader of Mother America?

P: Not only that, but I am entering my name as the Republican candidate for president.

M: How can you do that?

P: I am an older American and a true American unlike these illegal immigrants like Donald Trump or Rick Santorum, and certainly much more of an American than, oh, I forget his name, you know the guy with glasses who cannot recall who or what is in the Cabinet.

M: Well, we now have seventeen candidates in the primary. I will just head home to warn my gay friends that you might be our next President.

No Gay Times In Russia

I am of Russian ancestry so within my heart there is great compassion for the people of that great land. The world owes them a tremendous thank you for their heroic battle against Nazi Germany. They bore the major task of defeating that evil empire. So, it brings sadness to my heart reading of the current group of people who reside in Russia. Latest polls indicate over 80% are against rights for homosexuals or lesbians. Over 80% oppose same-sex marriage. Over 40% are ready to prosecute those who believe in “untraditional sexual preferences.”

At the core of Russia today is the bully in the President’s chair.Vladimir Putin has led the Russian people down the path of hate. Inman respects Putin is living proof of what a nation can become if it had at its leader someone like Donald Trump!

Educating Russian Youth

It was my assumption that Russian schools devoted at least an hour a day educating children to love and obey the Great Leader. Of course,whine comes to Mother Russia there is only one Man who is fit to lead the nation and his initials are–VP. For some strange reason the guy in charge of Russian education, Dimitry Lianov, is urging teachers to focus on educating children about the dangers of extremists.” Students should know how to avoid becoming victims of radical Islamist recruiters,and whom to turn to in the event of encountering such a situation.”

1. Kids,remember that extremism is OK if this idea comes from you know who in Moscow.

2. It is NOT an example of extremism to beat up gay guys and lesbian gals. They really enjoy getting the shit kicked out of them.

3. If you spot anyone who makes negative remarks about the Great Leader then you can take extreme measures to silence this person.

Always remember that extremism in defense of our Great Leader is the good kind of extremism!

Nukes For Europe?

Many still alive in America spent a good part of our lives experiencing the Cold War when no one knew if when or where someone would send an atomic bomb to initiate the end of civilization. Today,Vladimir Putin so enjoys pretending he can use atomic bombs in order to compel the world to,not only listen to his words,but to obey his demands for respect. Frankly,no one knows if this man is crazy enough to actually employ nuclear weapons as part of his diplomatic efforts.

The US is now talking about sending nuclear weapons back to Europe as part of some “show of force.” America and the European Union made a mistake in moving quickly into eastern Europe and talking about placing weapons on the border of Russia. It is time to move back, quiet down the rhetoric, and make certain no one is showing off any nuclear weapons.

Putin Talks Of Peace

OK, the time has come to accept that Vladimir Putin has but one goal in mind-peace and prosperity for the people of Ukraine. Once again, in talks with French President Hollande and German Chancellor Merkel, the GREAt LEADER of the Russian people wanted all to understand that he has but one goal for Ukraine and that is peace and prosperity for all. So, what does Putin desire?

1. Ukraine government should lay down its arms to prove they want peace.

2. Ukraine government should give money to those living in eastern Ukraine.

3. Ukraine government should give political power to those living in eastern Ukraine.

Now, these are simply a demonstration the government of Ukraine really wants peace.

Sounds fair to me.

Putin Don’t Like Foreign “Agents”

Vladimir Putin was raised in the good old Soviet Union and he fondly remembers when the government send millions to gulags and other such places for daring to utter a single word of disapproval for what the government does or is. If one is not a 100% true blooded Russian who, not only loves his nation, but loves those who run the nation, then times are getting bad. He has a desire, no a need, to be in charge and any indication there are “rats” around who dare to squeak their ideas means that something must be done to restore quiet.

The Dynasty Foundation in Russia is engaged in activities such as fostering scientific research or aiding those in economic need. It has no political agenda, but it is not run by the government.So, Putin has decided to clarify this harmless agency as a “foreign agent.” After all, aiding Russian schools or institutions to further scientific research is a danger to the very existence of the Russian state. To sum up, it is now clear this Foundation is out of business and will close its doors. Watch out for “scientific research” because who knows what such a process will uncover!

Stay Away From My Land!

There is one idea that is at the bottom of the list of concerns for Vladimir Putin. He does not like any soldiers from any land getting too close to his land. Of course,it is OK for Vladimir to send his troops across the Russian border into Ukraine or to send gobs of weapons of destruction to rebels in that land, but he will not tolerate event the mention of NATO troops getting close to the border of Mother Russia. When he heard that America was sending military weapons to store in east European nations, the Supreme Leader of Russia sent a message of defiance.

“We may be forced to arm our forces at those territories from where the threat comes..It is NATO that is moving towards our border and we aren’t moving anywhere.” I assume the dead Russian bodies of soldiers found in Ukraine were simply placed there by NATO criminals. I also wonder why Putin has yet to “arm our forces.” For God’s sake they are soldiers, aren’t they always armed?

“Stay away from my land,
Go play in your band,
If not, then I will have to
wave my wand and make you go away!”

Can Trump Trump Trump?

He is back again. A man of all seasons, a man who has made more money than any other Republican seeking the office of president. In many respects, jokes aside, Donald Trump is the perfect Republican candidate for president of the United States:

1. He has gobs of money.

2. He will say anything necessary to please right wing nut cases.

3. He has a gorgeous wife, then again, he believes self more gorgeous than his wife.

4. He has absolutely NO idea how to solve ANY problem confronting America.

5. He so loves to talk about anything while saying nothing.

6. He believes that those with money MUST lead America. At least he is honest about this issue.

7. The thought of Donald Trump confronting Hillary Clinton on a stage is simply wonderful for members of the media.

So, please, please, nominate this man for all seasons!

My dream is seeing Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump confront one another!

Recep The Great

Turkish President Recep Erdogan enjoys having conversations with the Great Leader of Russia, one Vladimir Putin. The other day he arranged to have Vladimir come over for a cup of coffee, and he waited, and he waited and he waited. Finally, Vladimir decided to head over to the hotel and meet with the man who so desires to run Turkey in the same manner as Vladimir runs Russia. Following was the conversation:

V: So, how goes it my friend?
E: I had an election and instead of gaining 95% of the vote, I wound up with 41%.
E: Yes, the opposition parties all together received 59%.
V: What kind of election was this? How can one only receive 41%? That has never occurred in Mother Russia.
E: So, how do you always win by such large margins?
V: Simple, decided BEFORE the election what you will receive and ensure that is the final vote?
E: But, what if the opposition receives votes?
V: Who ever heard of an opposition receiving votes that I had not planned?
E: You mean that you fix elections?
V: Of course, that is what we mean by a free election. All are able to vote. I decide the outcome.That is what we term a free election in Mother Russia.
E: Gee whiz, you are a Great Leader, I hope one day to be as wise and Great as you!