Category Archives: Russia

Who Fired The Shots In Kiev?

I write as one with special feelings about events in the Ukraine because my father was born in that city and spent his youth in the Ukraine. Actually, it was a troubled youth because Jews lacked most rights as humans in the old Ukraine. It was a center of anti-Semitism and violence toward Jews. I have always supported the fight for freedom by modern Ukrainians because this is a new generation and one seeking democracy. Arsen Avakov, the current Minister of the Interior of Ukraine charged that representatives from the Russian FSB conferred with members of the government when former President Yanukovych still ran the place. Avakov charges that Russian agents provided weapons and explosives that were used against those protesting. He believes the snipers who killed many came from this group of people linked to the Russian connection.

In Putinland, Russians are always the victims of Western evil forces who insist on forcing upon the people of Russia such horrid ideas as free elections and rights for people to gather together without permission of the police. Thus, for a Russian cop, the only proper procedure when people protest is to respond with a protest featuring guns blasting away.

The Horror Of Syria

Those who were alive during years when the Germans engaged in a murderous process of death and destruction confronted a terror in which the German government had enough intelligence to disguise murder to the outside world. The Japanese government, on the other hand, glorified their murder of the innocent. So, how does one explain the behavior of the government of Syria? Ordinarily, they explain away murder by arguing the other side is killing so it is kosher for we who defend our government to slaughter the innocent. After all, allow a young boy to live and he might wind up in the jihad campaign against my government. The latest United Nations’ figures indicate, at a minimum, there are at least 150,000 dead Syrians since outbreaks against the government began in March, 2011. According to the UN report about 38,000 rebels are dead along with 58,000 government troops.

Of course, there are a minimum of 18,000 people who were arrested and no one knows what happened to them. Rebels have kidnapped and government forces have kidnapped. Both sides murder in the name of God or security or because they had nothing else to do that day. Death proceeds without halt in Syria.

Protest Publicly In Own Home!

United Russia is a political party in the nation of Russia. It understands the role of a political party in Putinland is to carry out the wishes, the desires and needs of our wonderful all knowing glorious leader, Vladimir of the Putin. United Russia deputy, Alexander Sidyakin is very annoyed. There are actually people in Putinland who do not like our beloved leader! So, Alexander has a solution to this problem. He introduced a bill that would heavily fine or send to jail those who repeatedly take to the streets to protest against our Leader. Alexei Navalny, a well known opponent of Putin has his blog blocked and so do others with the weird idea there are alternative ideas to those of Vladimir Putin!

According to Alexander, it would be a serious crime to “damage human life or property” It is quite clear when people are in the streets shouting bad words, it hurts the health of those who believe in Vladimir as the all-Wise one in Russia. So, to ensure health and happiness in Putinland,k please organize your protests in your homes!

Vladimir Gets Divorce

We wish to be among the first to offer our good will and love for our Beloved Leader, Vladimir Putin on the announcement that he is divorcing a wife of 30 years. Her name is Lyudima Putine, which suggests that she is connected with Putin and desires to always be connected to the man whose bare chest barely describes his power and strength to handle any and all confrontations with tigers, elephants or Barack Obama his spear chucking African followers. Last year when Putin and Putine held a TV press conference to announce they would soon be divorcing, some reporters had the nerve to pose a few questions, and within a month or so, their newspapers closed under some unusual circumstances. As I recall, Vladimir told them to “snotty noses out of his life.”

When Vladimir tells you to bug off, get the hell out of town before you wind up in the tower of London awaiting a hanging. I hesitate to pose a question about some gorgeous young athlete has her name linked to the Beloved Leader. Look, if you are a Beloved Leader, it only stands to reason there are many females seeking to carry the name of Putine!

Options In Ukraine

Believe it or not there are several alternative approaches to handle the current situation in Ukraine.

1. Accept the reality that most in Crimea –not the 12% Tartars–will vote for annexation.

2. Allow Tartars to be resettled in parts of Ukraine. Russia could assist in paying part of the cost.

3. Hold a UN supervised election in the Ukraine.

4. America should announce a five year plan to replace Russia as the energy supplier to Europe. Fracking developments enable us to make this move.

5. Pay for a UN Police Contingent to work with Ukraine police for the coming two years. in other words, get a UN presence in Ukraine and station it in eastern regions.

6. Announce American willingness to have all missile bases presently in eastern European nations to be withdrawn from their eastern boundaries in exchange for Russian troops withdrawing twenty miles away from the eastern boundaries of Ukraine.

7. Impose economic sanctions upon Russia.

Once the Russian economy begins to be impacted by these events the people currently yelling for war will quiet down.

Putin Calls Barack

Due to our multifaceted staff which numbers in the thousands we are now able to monitor any, and all phone calls on planet Earth. Due to this vast spy network which numbers at least one person, we were able to tap into the phone line of Vladimir Putin who recently made a phone call to Barack Obama. We can now present what he said to the president of the United States.

P Hi, Barack, just got off the phone with Fox News Rupert Murdoch who offered thanks to me and the Russian people for taking over the Crimea.
B Perhaps, after completing your presidency in ten years, you most probably will become a commentator for Fox News. Great gig.
P John, that is John Boehner, offered me membership in something called the Tea Party, he said that I am a great American patriot.
P Barack, let’s face it, you have Republicans and I have these gay dissidents who hate my guts.
B So, what’s with this Ukraine stuff?
P It was Monday, things were quiet and I wondered how to make CNN by the evening.
B Any idea how long this will go on?
P I have an offer from CNN to continue for another month, it is wonderful for their ratings.
B How much?
P Let! Perhaps, we can form our own lobby company and make gobs and gobs of money?
B So, calm it down for a bit.
P Will do, but CNN will be angry.
B Say, care for a nice health plan?
P Just look at my chest. Healthy, wealthy and wise!

Mother Russian Warned

A consistent theme in American foreign policy for the past fifteen years has been for an American president to “warn” another nation about its dangerous foreign policy. President George Bush and his dynamic duo of Cheney and Rumsfeld constantly warned Saddam Hussein about his dangerous Weapons of Mass Destruction and wanted them destroyed. Of course, one problem is if you do not possess such weapons, how are they destroyed. President Obama is now warning President Vladimir Putin to remove his soldiers from the border of Ukraine and cease attempting to threaten Ukraine. When it comes to threatening any nation in the world, this is the sole prerogative of the United States of America. It should be understood that America threatens in the name of peace and security.

Frankly, we do not know how Putin will react in the coming weeks and months. He does want a piece of Ukraine and does not care how he gets it. The real issue is whether or not the United States and Europe is prepared to undergo the problems of cutting off trade with Russia. THAT is the prime question. Not,threats.

Bully Russian Bullies

Vladimir Putin is having an enjoyable week playing the hero of the hour to Russians. Oh, so many feel good and proud to be a Russian. They want once again to frighten the world with the prospect of nuclear disaster in which millions die. I hate to inform them, but if their nut case leader pursues the path of violence and invasion, there is always A possibility of unintended consequences. Secretary of Defense Hagel said he was informed by Russian military authorities they would not invade eastern Ukraine, but thousands of Russian troops are on maneuvers along the border. Vladimir Putin got “permission”from his stooges in Parliament to send troops into eastern Ukraine in order to protect Russians who are being abused and deprived of their rights.

So,what can be done?

1. Dispatch unarmed police from every European Union nation to assist local police in eastern Ukraine.

2. Announce that America will provide all energy needs currently being provided by Russia to European Union members.

3. Inform Russia that any invasion of Ukraine would result in cancellation of all trade with their country.

Handling Ukraine Intelligently

Republicans are once again hot to engage in a war in order to blame President Obama for failure to win a war. It is Republican policy to initiate wars in order to blame Democrats for not winning the war because they lack “will power for peace.” John McCain and Fox News “foreign policy experts” want ACTION on the part of Barack Obama. ACTION translates into some form of behavior that results in Vladimir Putin pleading for peace. Let this blog suggest a realistic foreign policy toward Ukraine and Russia.

1. There is no “victory” at the end of the rainbow, simply a confused world of discord that will continue for years.

2. Russia, regardless of who is their leader, has justifiable concerns, stemming from their history the past hundred years of being invaded by foreign armies that murdered over fifty million of their people. Any accord with Russia must ensure their right to protection against foreign aggression.

3. We propose the Ukranian government issue a guarantee that it will not allow any foreign troops or military installations on its territory. In essence, Ukraine becomes another Switzerland adhering to the principle of neutrality.

4. We propose that any missile systems of NATO be withdrawn to England. In other words, the European continent is to be free of missiles.

5. The Crimea is to experience a UN monitored election to determine its future. If the Tartar minority does not wish to live in a Russian centered Crimea, it would be provided the right to migrate to west European lands or the United States and Canada.

6. A Turkish-Russian discussion would result in agreements concerning placement of aggressive weapons on one another’s borders.

7. The United States is to develop a major program in energy exports to Europe that ends dependence on Russian energy sources.

No shouting and screaming, just solid diplomacy is the answer.

College Professor Duty-Obey Government

There is an institution in Russia whose duty is to educate students and study foreign policy. One would assume those working for such an institution would explore new ideas and offer fresh perspectives on foreign policy decisions. Alas, this institution is located in Russia, the land of Putin whose concept of free speech is that each individual has the right to agree with his ideas using individual words. Professor Andrei Zubov works at the Moscow State Institute of International Relations. He wrote an opinion piece which disagreed with actions of the Putin administration in seizing control of the Crimea and incorporating the area into Mother Russia. Zubov compared the action to that of Adolf Hitler who took over Austria in 1938 in the same manner as the recent seizure of the Crimea.

Authorities at the Institute charged Zubov with “knowingly and repeatedly” violating the charter of the institution. He was also denounced for “reckless and irresponsible criticism of government policy.” The professor who behaves like a professor of international relations was fired.

Please understand people of Russia who are pouring into the streets cheering the invasion and conquest of the Crimea that one day there will be consequences.