Category Archives: Russia

No Gay Times In Russia

It is important for Americans to understand that in Putin, Russia, the worse crime anyone can commit is to be openly gay. Just imagine if a gay person is walking the streets of your town and sees a young boy, well, this encounter has only one ending– a pervert will attack and cause body harm to an innocent young child! Each year gays and lesbians decide to have an Annual Gay And Lesbian Parade. Only in Putin, Russia, this event sort of winds up slightly different from other parades. A few activists get on motor bikes carrying a sign that says, “Make Love, Not War” and shortly they are halted by police who then, sort of give them a few friendly pats with their police batons and then give them a free ride to the nearest police station where they can receive a few more pats on their bodies.

As one loyal lover of Putin put it watching this disgraceful attempt by perverts to openly march, “I’m against this phenomenon which is imposed on us, I’m against homosexuality, against non-traditional values, to put it mildly or in plain Russian, against pederasty and sodomy.” Well, I’m glad this woman never does IT through the back side!

Oops, Putin Said A Bad Word!

Vladimir Putin has an ability to irritate one and all in this world. He is so confident that whatever he utters will be accepted in the Soviet Union, –oops, I meant, Russia, that he once again angered another government. He was attending a meeting in the nation of Armenia to remember the murder of 1.5 million Armenians residing in Turkey during World War I, when he referred to this disaster as a GENOCIDE. Naturally, the government of Turkey is upset because they prefer living in a world that never happened. Either the Armenians in Turkey killed themselves or they were collaborating with the invading Russian army, but somehow in some way about 1.5 million wound up dead. Actually, the American Ambassador Henry Morgenthau described the atrocities frankly and clearly to his government. Armenians were murdered and it is time for Turkey to recognize this sloughier and initiate an educational program that teaches the truth.

What happened a hundred years is not the fault of modern Turks anymore than the Holocaust is the fault of modern Germans or the massacre of Indians in the West is the fault of modern Americans. As a society we must accept the truth of what happened in the past and work to ensure it does not happen today.

Let’s Snub Russia

Leaders of Western nations in Europe have decided not to attend events in Russia being held to remember the end of World War II. The Russians commemorate that finality on a different day in May than what is followed in Western Europe and the United States. So, to show dislike for Russian leader, Vladimir Putin the West will not send anyone to help the Russian people recall the days when there was a great alliance which included the US, England and the Soviet Union. The world would not be what it was, for better or worse if not for the gallant Russians who fought Nazi Germany. Here is the record:

1. At all times in Europe, the Russian army confronted about 70% of the German army.

2. At least 28 million Russians died during World War II.

3. About 300,000 American soldiers died in fighting Nazi Germany.

4. It was Russian troops who dealt one blow after another in the fight to end Nazism.

5. We can not forget what Russians did during those difficult years.

The world owes Russia a debt just as Russia owes a debt of gratitude toward England and the USA. To snub heroes is not being heroic!

Putin Seeks Peace With World

TIME magazine has anointed the leader of Russia with the mantle of glory by listing him as among the most important people on this planet. The old KGB thug is now a renowned and important person not only in Russia but within the entire world. The Great Leader enjoys this position of power, it enables him to be heard by one and all. Heck, within Russia, there are millions who adore a man who has restored “glory”k to the Motherland. Putin wants the world to know that his only thoughts are for peace and prosperity. He regards himself as a champion for peace. As he informed the world, “we have disagreements on several issues on the international agenda. But at the same time there is something that unites us. I mean general efforts directed at making the world economic more democratic.”

So, there, Putin has come out for democracy. How can his opponents, at least those not in jail or dead, argue that this Great Leader opposes the path of democracy? Of course, his definition of that word is somewhat different from that employed in other areas of the world. Let me explain”

The Putin definition of democracy is that when he speaks, others listen. The Putin definition of democracy is that no one opposes his ideas. Very simple, and very clear.

Putin Answers Questions

Once each year the Great Leader takes some time in order to respond to each and every question that is posed him by those who are peasants in the land. OK, so he does not answer each and every question, but after three hours and fifty eight minutes of his wisdom, who can deny this man, a bit of rest. We can not provide the entire range of responses since that would consume hours of your time, but at least we can submit a few choice comments from the man who knows all:

Q: How many hours do you sleep each night?” from a five year old Russian.

R: “I’m happy that you love to sleep.” OK, he sort of did not answer the question, but he did discuss sleep.

Q: Why did we take the Crimea?

R: I had to listen to the voice of the people of Crimea.” He did hold a referendum, didn’t he?

Q: Will Russia allow the people in the Kurile Islands to vote about joining Japan?

R: “Why would any person want to be part of Japan rather than our Beloved Russia?

Q: Do you enjoy speaking with the Russian people?

R: “Yes.”

Q: Do you believe in God?

R: “Yes.”

I submitted the following question but it was not answered.

“So, how much money do you exactly have in your bank account?”

My Satellite Is Missing!

Russian authorities have discovered some satellites floating in outer space. They are convinced these pieces of junk are really part of the great American plot to overthrow the regime of our beloved leader, the great and wise Vladimir Putin. Apparently these satellites are simply masquerading as space junk when in reality they are a CIA or NSA or one of those groups in America which pose as agents of peace and tranquility. According to Oleg Maidonovich, and when Oleg says something, I trust that Americans will pay attention, it is a common practice to pretend that a nation which seeks to spy on our beloved Russian people sends up some junk which really is not junk but agents of doom.

Oleg will not the nation which sends up such junk “since there is no need to do so.” Perhaps, it is time to really send some junk into outer space. How about the collected speeches of Ted Cruz? Then again,there are always the pages and pages of bills to end the infamous Affordable Care Act. No question that material deserves to be in outer space as junk!

Keep Silent In Russia

Mother Russia likes her children to be obedient and quiet when it comes to issues of expressing views regarding how government actually functions. She has no problem if you desire to express your opinion about food or what you wear, but never discuss the government. Journalist Vyacheslav Starodubtsev has the impertinent attitude of seeking to uncover corruption in government. For some reason, he believes that in Putin Russia there are government officials who would dare to rob the people. He was abducted in the city of Derbent in the republic of Dageston because he failed to listen to some wise people who told him last year to take his family and get the hell out of this land of peace, prosperity and honesty.

This journalist was exposing corruption under a project he termed, “My Detroit” but as of this point he would have been safer on the crime ridden streets of Detroit than in any city in the land of Russia. We fear that he is dead because in Mother Russia these days no one dares to claim there is corruption.

No Gay Times In Russia

The people of Russia have not only become in love with the Great Leader, but they have turned their backs on any manner of love between those of the same sex. Recent polls indicate that about 40% of people do not wish to have a gay neighbor living in close proximity to their own house. I assume this means they check out all the people on their block in order to discover which people are filled with humor and happiness. Over half of Russians these days do not wish to have gay people in their nation since such individuals simply do not fit into proper society. Due to the Great Leader these people now have the right to seek prison time for any of those people who wander their streets as gays and lesbians.

A 2013 law makes it illegal to provide children with information about homosexuality. I get confused, it is legal to inform children that gays are bad people but it is illegal to explain to them why gays are bad. Teachers are being fired because they may have mentioned some explanation as to who or what a gay person is. Of course, any member of the teaching profession who is discovered by to be a lesbian or gay will be fired. This does not come across as a happy way to handle this problem. Those who oppose gays apparently lack a sense of humor.

Putin Defends Freedom

Russian President Vladimir Putin is not only upset but up beat about conditions in the world. Naturally, his primary issue is protecting Mother Russia from attacks by the Nazis in Ukraine. He is the defender of the Russian people agains the hordes of menacing soldiers from the evil steppes of Ukraine. He informed the people of his land there are attempts to pressure the Russian government by resorting to economic measures that reduce trade with his land. According to Putin, NATO is “building up its infrastructure on our borders.” Therefore it is imperative to Russia to be on guard. “The situation will not change for the better if we succumb and yield at every step. It will only change for the better if we become stronger.”‘

In simple and clear Russian this means the people must do without and the government must do with more and more of their money in order to create an armed force that can handle the great army of Ukraine. I do not believe that Ukraine has large numbers of tanks and planes but they have hordes of soldiers ready to sweep into Russia and rape and pillage.

And, by the way, beat up some gays and lesbians since they are agents of the Nazis from Ukraine!

Putin Blues

Many years ago the British Prime Minister Winston Churchill referred to the Russian government as a mystery wrapped in an enigma, and I think that is true today. Russian President Vladimir Putin has employed a foreign policy that has left Russia out of the main stream of European life. He has just about angered every nation in western Europe along with the United States. The Russian ruble has taken a nose dive, unemployment is rising, food costs are rising, teachers, workers are going on strike, but the overwhelming majority of Russian people are happy with their leader. More and more people are watching their income decline and their jobs disappear, but to the Russian people, the Great Leader has restored: PRIDE! Look at his accomplishments:

1. Russia once again controls the Crimea.

2. Ukraine is in shambles.

3. Europe has imposed sanctions.

4. People have lost jobs.

But, PRIDE is now returned. Putin wants the people of Russia to understand that problems are caused because the rest of the world does not respect Russia and defies his dictates. Go ahead and eat PRIDE.