Category Archives: Russia

Putin Answers Questions

Once each year the Great Leader takes some time in order to respond to each and every question that is posed him by those who are peasants in the land. OK, so he does not answer each and every question, but after three hours and fifty eight minutes of his wisdom, who can deny this man, a bit of rest. We can not provide the entire range of responses since that would consume hours of your time, but at least we can submit a few choice comments from the man who knows all:

Q: How many hours do you sleep each night?” from a five year old Russian.

R: “I’m happy that you love to sleep.” OK, he sort of did not answer the question, but he did discuss sleep.

Q: Why did we take the Crimea?

R: I had to listen to the voice of the people of Crimea.” He did hold a referendum, didn’t he?

Q: Will Russia allow the people in the Kurile Islands to vote about joining Japan?

R: “Why would any person want to be part of Japan rather than our Beloved Russia?

Q: Do you enjoy speaking with the Russian people?

R: “Yes.”

Q: Do you believe in God?

R: “Yes.”

I submitted the following question but it was not answered.

“So, how much money do you exactly have in your bank account?”

My Satellite Is Missing!

Russian authorities have discovered some satellites floating in outer space. They are convinced these pieces of junk are really part of the great American plot to overthrow the regime of our beloved leader, the great and wise Vladimir Putin. Apparently these satellites are simply masquerading as space junk when in reality they are a CIA or NSA or one of those groups in America which pose as agents of peace and tranquility. According to Oleg Maidonovich, and when Oleg says something, I trust that Americans will pay attention, it is a common practice to pretend that a nation which seeks to spy on our beloved Russian people sends up some junk which really is not junk but agents of doom.

Oleg will not the nation which sends up such junk “since there is no need to do so.” Perhaps, it is time to really send some junk into outer space. How about the collected speeches of Ted Cruz? Then again,there are always the pages and pages of bills to end the infamous Affordable Care Act. No question that material deserves to be in outer space as junk!

Keep Silent In Russia

Mother Russia likes her children to be obedient and quiet when it comes to issues of expressing views regarding how government actually functions. She has no problem if you desire to express your opinion about food or what you wear, but never discuss the government. Journalist Vyacheslav Starodubtsev has the impertinent attitude of seeking to uncover corruption in government. For some reason, he believes that in Putin Russia there are government officials who would dare to rob the people. He was abducted in the city of Derbent in the republic of Dageston because he failed to listen to some wise people who told him last year to take his family and get the hell out of this land of peace, prosperity and honesty.

This journalist was exposing corruption under a project he termed, “My Detroit” but as of this point he would have been safer on the crime ridden streets of Detroit than in any city in the land of Russia. We fear that he is dead because in Mother Russia these days no one dares to claim there is corruption.

No Gay Times In Russia

The people of Russia have not only become in love with the Great Leader, but they have turned their backs on any manner of love between those of the same sex. Recent polls indicate that about 40% of people do not wish to have a gay neighbor living in close proximity to their own house. I assume this means they check out all the people on their block in order to discover which people are filled with humor and happiness. Over half of Russians these days do not wish to have gay people in their nation since such individuals simply do not fit into proper society. Due to the Great Leader these people now have the right to seek prison time for any of those people who wander their streets as gays and lesbians.

A 2013 law makes it illegal to provide children with information about homosexuality. I get confused, it is legal to inform children that gays are bad people but it is illegal to explain to them why gays are bad. Teachers are being fired because they may have mentioned some explanation as to who or what a gay person is. Of course, any member of the teaching profession who is discovered by to be a lesbian or gay will be fired. This does not come across as a happy way to handle this problem. Those who oppose gays apparently lack a sense of humor.

Putin Defends Freedom

Russian President Vladimir Putin is not only upset but up beat about conditions in the world. Naturally, his primary issue is protecting Mother Russia from attacks by the Nazis in Ukraine. He is the defender of the Russian people agains the hordes of menacing soldiers from the evil steppes of Ukraine. He informed the people of his land there are attempts to pressure the Russian government by resorting to economic measures that reduce trade with his land. According to Putin, NATO is “building up its infrastructure on our borders.” Therefore it is imperative to Russia to be on guard. “The situation will not change for the better if we succumb and yield at every step. It will only change for the better if we become stronger.”‘

In simple and clear Russian this means the people must do without and the government must do with more and more of their money in order to create an armed force that can handle the great army of Ukraine. I do not believe that Ukraine has large numbers of tanks and planes but they have hordes of soldiers ready to sweep into Russia and rape and pillage.

And, by the way, beat up some gays and lesbians since they are agents of the Nazis from Ukraine!

Putin Blues

Many years ago the British Prime Minister Winston Churchill referred to the Russian government as a mystery wrapped in an enigma, and I think that is true today. Russian President Vladimir Putin has employed a foreign policy that has left Russia out of the main stream of European life. He has just about angered every nation in western Europe along with the United States. The Russian ruble has taken a nose dive, unemployment is rising, food costs are rising, teachers, workers are going on strike, but the overwhelming majority of Russian people are happy with their leader. More and more people are watching their income decline and their jobs disappear, but to the Russian people, the Great Leader has restored: PRIDE! Look at his accomplishments:

1. Russia once again controls the Crimea.

2. Ukraine is in shambles.

3. Europe has imposed sanctions.

4. People have lost jobs.

But, PRIDE is now returned. Putin wants the people of Russia to understand that problems are caused because the rest of the world does not respect Russia and defies his dictates. Go ahead and eat PRIDE.

Objective Reality In Russia

The Western world has worked for over a thousand years to arrive at a point in time when those who are brought before a court of law are presumed to be innocent. But, of course, in the world of Vladimir Putin, how can one be presumed innocent without his OK? A growing complaint among those who obey the dictates of their pseudo dictator is there is something wrong with a Criminal Code based on western ideas that presume innocence of the accused. Putin followers believe the code is closer to the “adversarial approach” in western courts of law that stem from Anglo Saxon ideas. According to Alexander Bastrykin, “it is foreign to the Russian legal system” which should stem from Mother Russia and its numerous dictators.

He is calling for introduction of the concept of “objective truth.” Under this system the judge decides which evidence can be introduced, the judge can cross examine people, and the judge can steer the jury to the correct outcome. There is no “presumption of innocence.” Let me make it clear, if the Russian government went to the trouble of bringing you to trial, we can assume they knew you were guilty. Actually, why hold a trial in the first place!

Hells Angels To Rescue

Vladimir Putin has sent in the cavalry to the rescue of his troops who currently are fighting in Ukraine. Oh, I forgot, there are no Russian troops in that region, simply a bunch of volunteers. This is amazing grip of volunteers since they come with tanks, missiles and planes. I guess any group of volunteers can pick up this equipment at the local Army/Navy store. It now appears the volunteers are being supported by bike gangs dressed in leather, boots and camouflage. The motor bike leader, Vitali, informed the press that he is fighting in Ukraine because of ‘my love for my homeland, for my territory,” and for the love of a good fight. His nickname is Yroesca which means, Night Wolves.

He does want the world to know that he is a night solve, not a rebel. There is something queer about bike gangs who are not rebels. I always thought the reason one became a biker was because of a desire to rebel against society. I wonder if Vladimir is a biker?

Provacateurs Galore

The evidence is now overwhelming, the people of Russia are under attack from Nazis forces in Ukraine. It is amazing how a peaceful and decent nation has to be subject to such continual and violent assaults by the forces of Ukraine. Just listen to Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov. “Provacateurs in Kiev try to whip up something (against Russia) in the expectations that this will influence the world and that weapons will flow into Ukraine.” He urges the European Union and the US to halt this influx of weapons of war into Ukraine and protect the defenseless people of Russia whose leaders devote every working hour of the day in the cause of peace.

There is no doubt that Russia is under siege. OK, so the Russians have atomic weapons and tanks and planes, but how do those weapons stand up against the might of Ukraine’s Armed forces? Of course, Vladimir Putin could strip to the waist and single handedly challenge the entire Ukraine army. Naturally, that would not be a fair fight given that Vladimir is the modern version of Superman.

Putin Returns, So Does Death

Russian President Vladimir Putin appeared in Moscow after several days of absence. He made one of his threatening speeches in which he informed the world there were moments when the Russian army entered the Crimea when he thought about the need to get his nation’s atomic weapons ready for use. Yes, the man of steel just wanted to send a message to the Western world that he is capable of anything and everything. The comment was designed to send fear into the hearts of those who do not seek to destroy this planet. I am certain that the people of Russia now have another source of pride. They are led by a man who is ready to destroy the world in order to restore the pride of Russia. One wonders if the people of Russia grasp that if their leader ever fired an atomic bomb, dozens of atomic weapons would descend upon them.

Things are back to normal in Mother Russia. Fighting again in Ukraine, death and destruction and warnings about Russia being surrounded by forces of doom. Putin is the Russian answer to our Ted Cruz or Tom Cotton or Sarah Palin. Nut cases who shout without paying attention to the meaning of their words of anger and hate.