Turkish President Recep Erdogan enjoys having conversations with the Great Leader of Russia, one Vladimir Putin. The other day he arranged to have Vladimir come over for a cup of coffee, and he waited, and he waited and he waited. Finally, Vladimir decided to head over to the hotel and meet with the man who so desires to run Turkey in the same manner as Vladimir runs Russia. Following was the conversation:
V: So, how goes it my friend?
E: I had an election and instead of gaining 95% of the vote, I wound up with 41%.
E: Yes, the opposition parties all together received 59%.
V: What kind of election was this? How can one only receive 41%? That has never occurred in Mother Russia.
E: So, how do you always win by such large margins?
V: Simple, decided BEFORE the election what you will receive and ensure that is the final vote?
E: But, what if the opposition receives votes?
V: Who ever heard of an opposition receiving votes that I had not planned?
E: You mean that you fix elections?
V: Of course, that is what we mean by a free election. All are able to vote. I decide the outcome.That is what we term a free election in Mother Russia.
E: Gee whiz, you are a Great Leader, I hope one day to be as wise and Great as you!