The other day I received a phone call from Donald Trump and Marco and Ted which requested my presence because neither of these Ivy League minds can explain who is who or where in Syria. I was requested to explain this nation.
1. The original inhabitants of Syria were called Syrians.
2. The Awaite minority is the homeland President Assad. The main occupation of Alawites is to make certain one of them is always running Syria.
3. There are ISIS groups in Syria who want to control tourist places so they can bomb them to hell.
4.There are al-Qaeda guys in Syria fighting somebody,sorry, it changes from day to day.
5. There are the Kurds who are liked by Americans and hated by the Turkish government.
6. The nice Kurds kill terrorists.
7. The bad Kurds, according the Turkish government want to take over Turkey.,
8. Turkey is an ally of the US.
9, There is a Free Syrian Army which wants to end the Assad government.
10. There is the not so free Syrian Army which likes President Assad.
11. There, as always, is al-Qaeda pursuing its own aims which are centered around the idea of power–keeping it, that is.
12. The Saudi Arabia planes kill bad Syrians who like Assad.
13. Then,there are Saudis who love Assad.
14. Then, there is Assad who loves the president’s job and the loot that goes with it.
15. Oh, US, French, UK, Jordan and assorted Europeans bomb Syria and have absolutely no idea who are the bad or who are the good guys. Just bomb and bomb, by the law of averages they are bound to kill at least one bad guy each day–along with a few other folks.
16. Then there are the Russians who just enjoy a good war they can maybe win.
I trust this clears up the Syrian war.