These are not the best of times in ISIS land what with Russian bombings, American bombings, Turkish bombings, and even Saudi Arabia bombings. Then again,there is always the problem that if Donald Trump is elected he will personally lead the wipe out of ISIS based on his great, great plan. ISIS us cutting salaries ending free utilities, reducing marriage bonuses, and worse of all, no more free energy drinks or Snicker bars! We offer some advice.
1. Instead of beheading, why not switch to ransom?
2. Make a deal with Walmart to sell black tee shirts with the ISIS logo.
3. How about tours which include one beheading?
4. I have a hunch some of those brides after a few weeks in ISIS land would not mind being married off to some rich Arabs.
5. ISIS might offer to provide protection for Trump when he speaks in Texas or the southwest.