Malawi Bans Public Farting!

We live in economically perilous times, and it is reassuring there is one government in this world which keeps its mind focused on the important issues of our day. The government of Malawi has made it an illegal act to fart in public. If this law ever reaches America, many people will be subject to jail and our freedom could end. On the other hand, implementing this law would require hiring millions of policemen which would certainly deal with our unemployment concerns.

Of course, if farting in public was illegal, this would definitely impair people like Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin from opening their mouth because someone might charge that the shit spewing from their mouths was equivalent of a fart from the rear. However, there is a bright side to a farting law.

1.  We would need further legislation in order to determine the extent of a far before it became publicly disruptive.

2.  We would have to set up a new agency which would be charged with determining whether a fart was the result of a natural action of the body or whether it emanated from the brain.

3.  This would certainly tear apart the Supreme Court. However, Justice Scalia wins hands-down the title of outstanding Supreme Court farter.

I wonder if this law becomes operational will belching soon be illegal?