Debris Found In Ocean

This intrepid reporter is now ready to officially confirm they HAVE FOUND DEBRIS IN THE OCEAN! Yes, after searching thousands of miles of the Indian Ocean and parts of the Pacific Ocean we are now ready to inform the public that debris is in these oceans. Latest reports indicate metal objects and what might be clothes or bottles of orange juice were found floating. They are now making DNA tests in order to ascertain if a human was the one who drank from the bottle. Unfortunately, early reports indicate the presence of a monkey’s saliva. Of course, this might indicate the presence of a Neanderthal body which is closer in structure to that of the monkey.

There are reports of a hat which might belong to that of one of the pilots. Also, dresses and other garments including a burqa. I am most intrigued by reports of a scrip that apparently belongs to Fox News or it could simply mean, as always, when there is a tragedy, Fox News is first on the scene. Of course, CNN commentators are currently discussing this revelation and will undoubtedly prove the script belongs to a CNN commentator who was on the plane and is still secretly reporting events.

Stay tuned to this blog for latest developments.