JOB OPENINGS FOR HERMAN CAIN

Barbara Walters asked Herman Cain which position in a  Cabinet he thought best qualified to fill. He responded: “Defense Secretary.” Barbara blurted out: “WHAT?”

We think Herman IS qualified for some jobs. Let us list them:

1.  If a president needs a money cruncher, Herman is a whiz at 9-9-9. Of course, after 9 he gets lost.

2. If an organization is seeking someone who can reach out to the prostitute market, Herman is the man.

3. A hat manufacturer would love this man of the hats. He knows how to wear one.

4. He would  be a great secret agent for the CIA. Just let him spend a few days with al-Qaeda and they will all surrender to get away from his meaningless blather.

5. If a Director seeks a man to play Uncle Tom. Herman is a perfect Tom.

6.  Herman would be great playing the black fool in a minstrel show.

7. Let’s face it, Herman is a great pizza guy.

8. Bankers and stock brokers have screwed up America, why no give Herman a chance, he knows all about screwing up.

9. Need a man who will allow himself to be captured on film screwing your wife so you can get a divorce, just dial, 999.

10. I assume they still use butlers at the White House. Why not hire Herman so he can finally work at the White House!