Each week we offer a selection of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

United Kingdom, The Independent: “You’re A Criminal, You’re Safe In Somalia”
I think you are a lot safer in the White House.

Australia, West Australian: “Grandmother’s Body Barbecued”
I assume this is what is meant by aging meat.

Russia, Moscow Times: “McCain Solicits Funds From Russia”
Well, Sarah can see Russia across the Bering Straits, so why not give her money not to look?

Finland, Sanomat: “Mistake In Male Circumcision No Crime”
I guess it depends how you peer at this.

New Zealand, New Zealand Herald: “Police Seek Green Nosed Criminal”
Please stay away from the Red nosed ones, they give out presents.

Saudi Arabia, Saudi Gazette: “Teacher Dies In Classroom”
No homework for tonight.

UK, Guardian: “Jamaican Thieves Steal Beach”
I hope they left the water.

Australia, Brisbane Times: “Great White Whale Caught”
The sailor who caught it was Mr. Moby Dick.

Norway, Aftenposten: “Mystery Of Fish Smell”
There is something rotten about this story.

Singapore, Straits Times: “Prison Chaplain Dies”
I guess his sentence was up.

Denmark, Copenhagen Post: “Royal Commuter Delay”
Sorry, Cinderella had to get home by midnight.

Australia, The Age: “Dead Woman Into Weird Sex”
Gee, I wonder what kind of sex she was into when alive.

Turkey, Turkish Daily News: “Woman Jailed After Killing Virtual Husband”
I assume she was tried in a virtual court by a virtual judge and jury and received a virtual sentence to a virtual jail.

China, Shanghais Daily: “Burglar Calls Police”
I hear it was a collect call.

Bahrain, Gulf Times: “Supermarket Thief Held”
His sentence will be reduced by 20% if not delivered today.

Norway, Aftenposten: “Human Rights Delegation Heads For China”
They are bringing a present of human rights.